Chapter Seven: The New Normal

Slowly, day by day, Harry found himself settling into a routine. As all small business owners would likely testify, Adhara Books slightly became his life. Day after day was spent in the shop, with Lizzie joining him five out of seven days, taking Mondays and Wednesdays off - although more often than not she'd pop in anyway, supposedly to see if he was still up to scratch with the coffee machine. He never refused her company, it was actually rather nice to have a friend, though he vowed to close down for one day a week at some point, but for the moment he was enjoying the daily dose of bookshop bliss.

Because that's what it was. There were no bad guys, no dead bodies lying waiting for him to tell their story, no long nights and arguments with Ginny over when they'd see each other. With the Harpies and the Aurors, they'd drifted apart long before he'd ever considered moving.

On the slow days he'd think about his life then. How different things were, how addictive his work had been. It was his drug, some people raced after endless bets, found solace at the bottom of a bottle, his distraction was the deaths of others. His saving people thing, as Hermione had always called it, had become a full blown distraction from saving himself.

"You're leaving? After everything, this is it?"

"I have to."

"Right. Like you always do. You always run away from us, Harry. Sixth-year, after the war, you weren't ready and I waited for you. For what? For you to just leave all over again."

That had stung the most. It still did. He'd never meant to hurt her, never meant to see tears sparkling in her eyes or watch her face, so normally filled with joy and pride and passion, controrted with pain. A pain he'd always be responsible for.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Don't be sorry. Just stay."

"I can't, alright? I can't. I can't see them every day, I can't walk around being this hero everyone thinks I have to be. I can't look at another body and be that family's only hope."

"Quit. You can quit, you know."

"And do what?"

"Anything. Whatever you'll do over there!"

"It wouldn't be the same. Here, everyone knows… At least there I can just be."

"We're all haunted, Harry. You think I want to be reminded my brother's dead every day? I deal with it, okay? Why can't you? Why can't you just -"

"Beacuse I've been living with ghosts since I was born! My parents. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Even Hedwig. They're gone. They're all gone and I just walk around expecting to them and they're not there. They're never going to be there. And I want to stay, Gin, but I can't. I can't do this anymore."

She'd faltered then, it was then he knew he couldn't be talked out of it. There was a reason he'd only told Andromeda before it was too late. He knew that had Ginny known, had Ron or Hermione got wind of it, they'd have talked him down. They'd have convinced him to stay, for them, for their friendship, for their love. And it broke his heart to admit it, but they deserved better. They deserved a man who could be there, who could look them in the eye and not be terrified at the thought of holding their bodies, at adding them to a list that had spiralled out of control his entire life. They deserved someone who could be the man they wanted, not a broken boy who was too trapped by the life he'd made for himself to get out.

They'd kissed and held each other one last time. Then he'd left, he'd left and never looked back.

The worst part was, he was actually glad he'd done it. They were better off without him, and as strange as it was to admit, he was better in Seattle. He could breathe for the first time since he could remember. The city pulsated with life, bars to be enjoyed, ferry boats and mountains, everything he could want and throw himself into. Not a distraction, a life he could live without being haunted by the memory of who he'd been.

That chapter of his life was closed.

The pages he was writing so far from home felt like a dream. An impossible wonderful dream.

He just hoped it was enough. And not just for him. The day had sprung itself upon him far faster than he'd been expecting. He'd mentioned it to Lizzie a few days before.

"So," he began when the usual morning rush had died down and they had time to breathe. "I need to talk to you about something?"

"Is it the fact we need a baker, 'cause if so, yes, and I promise not to eat too many cakes."

"What?"

"What?" She said almost as quickly. Her denial quickly shifted into a graimce as she glared at the empty space on the counter that had previously been reserved for baked goods. It was something he'd promised they'd look into and then never had, what with getting more books in and figuring out how much they'd need for the drinks they already sold, it'd slipped his mind. "Pfft, no. I'm not hungry. You're hungry."

"Not that, but don't let me forget again. No, I was wondering. We've done this for a few weeks and I thought maybe -"

"Am I gonna die before you get this out?"

"I'm getting there."

"It better be good, just sayin'."

Harry shook his head, but couldn't stop the small trace of a smile that pulled at his lips. "Could you cover for me? Just a couple of days. Sunday and Monday. I know you're normally off, but -"

"Hot date?" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "A really hot date? A weekend away?"

"No, God no." That was definitely not anything he'd be doing any time soon, no matter how much Lizzie kept saying he should ask out Hannah, Annie's mother and who came in both with and without her daughter these days. A fact that had Lizzie teasing Harry like they were both fifteen. "Family."

"Oh shit." She instantly glanced around, fortunately their only customer was cooing over Oscar in one of the chairs by the window and happily ignoring them. "Sorry! Sorry. But that's amazing, when they're here? Your godson right?"

"And his gran, yeah."

"Ace. Yeah, of course. No worries. I'll just have Wednesday or something."

"You're the best."

"I know," she grinned. "You excited?"

"More nervous really."

Lizzie seemed unpeturbed by this. "You're happy, that's all they'll care about. 'Sides, just bribe them with free books. That'd work on me."

"Good to know."

"You're allowed to be happy, you know?" You can quit, you know. Suddenly Ginny's words rang in his head, he knew his face had betrayed him when he felt Lizzie's hand gently touching his forearm. "It's gonna be okay. Just like opening day, just like this insane idea you got me stuck with. You land on your feet, as someone who's been on their ass plenty of times, I know bad luck and I know good. You, you're good."

"Thanks?"

"Thank me when you have the best time and I get to say I told you so."

"Deal."

They agreed that Sarah could join on Sunday, if Lizzie's flatmate was up for it, freeing Harry up to see Teddy. And that was that. Time passed and all too quickly Harry found himself unable to sleep, Oscar curled up beside him snoring peacefully as rain thudded rythmically against the window.

Sleep, however, eluded Harry. Sure, he passed out for an hour or so, but that didn't stop him from watching the clock tick to seven and silencing the alarm with an irritable smack that caused Oscar to leap from the bed.

"Rise and shine," Harry muttered darkly, dragging his heavy limbs from the bed and trying not to crawl back beneath the covers. He stumbled over some excess stock and swore loudly, further aggravating Oscar, who sulkly leapt up onto the kitchen worktop and refused to be fussed until Harry presented him with food.

The shower was cold, but a quick warming charm fixed that. His wand came out more than he cared to admit. Leftover meals, laziness with lighting, ironing charms, enchanting his razer while he shower. He'd even taken to trying out a few cleaning spells when he was too tired to clean up. But he figured that as long as it stayed a secret during the day it wasn't a problem.

He wandered up to the shop, knowing full well that he had plenty of time - the perks of magical travel - but was greeted by an overly concerned Lizzie, who shooed him away and assured him that everything was going to be fine. When that didn't work, she threatened to adopt Oscar, who had traitorously chosen that moment to wend his way around her ankles and purr softly.

The airport was heaving with people, as they tend to be when flights filled with tourists, long-lost family members or the terminally curious land with nothing but exploration on their minds. Harry, just like everyone else, waited in the terminal. Just like everyone else, expect everyone else's someone was arriving by plane and his godson and his grandmother had arrived by a broken toilet handle-cum-portkey that saw them land in the toilets just beyond immigration.

It didn't take long to spot them. Teddy was small, sure, but Andromeda had a kind of aura around her that simply made people move out of her way. It was the Black in her. Every Black, good or bad, was important. Bellatrix, Sirius, Andromeda, they exuded a kind of importance that made everyone take note.

She didn't glare. She didn't curse. She didn't so much as smile. Her face was blank, of course, until Teddy spotted Harry and ran into him so hard it might as well have been a rugby tackle.

"Uncle Harry! Uncle Harry!"

"Hey kiddo," Harry grinned as he hoisted the young boy into the air. Five years. Had it really been that long? The sound of Teddy's giggles were enough to stop him from the descending into the familiar pit of despair he basically called home since the war. That and Andromeda's small smirk, the one that pulled at the edges of her lips and told him, truly, that he wasn't going to get cursed. Which, on the balance of things, was something. "Andi, good flight?"

It was what people asked, he reasoned.

"Fine," Andromeda told him. "So, Seattle?"

"I know."

"I didn't think you'd do it." They'd had the conversation enough for him to remember. She'd been the only person he'd told, the only person he'd sought permission from because if she'd said no, if she'd truly needed him, then he'd have stayed. But they didn't.

"I know that, too." Her keen eyes appraised him sharply and it was only when he set Teddy down, ruffling the boy's jet black hair that eerily matched his own - no shock there - that she spoke again.

"You're an idiot."

"Granny! You can't call people idiots."

"No, sweetheart, you can't. Granny can call Uncle Harry what she likes," Andromeda explained, taking Teddy's hand so that he wouldn't leave them. He had always been an inquisitive child and was already staring at the brightly coloured suitcases that were being trundled along by the muggles around him. It was a minor miracle his hair didn't change colour. "We missed you."

"I'm sorry." It was reflex more than anything, because was he? Really? "I had to."

She hummed. "Well, you'd better show us what all the fuss is about."

oOo

The shop was no busier than normal, the Annie and her mother popped by - it was a weekend and they always wanted to check if Harry had any new releases they needed to know about. There was Jackson, who Lizzie was sure she'd never heard even say a peep to anyone and a sweet couple who were slowly picking up a gigantic stack as they meandered around the shop.

The rest of the customers either came in and vanished or stood waiting for their coffee to brew before cheerfully taking a seat by the window or retreating to the second floor. That left Oscar, who taken up residence on top of the Historical section and was snoozing happily as a group of teenage girls 'oohed' and 'awwed' at him.

"This is nice," Sarah commented, adjusting her apron for the fifth time in as many minutes. A woman of many fine things, it was weird seeing her covered in stains and with her hair up in a messy, yet somehow still annoyingly elegant, bun. They'd shared a house together for years, but Sarah always managed to not be the one covered in grime. "I see why you like it here."

"Yeah, it's good."

"Calm," Sarah continued. "Like if Monet could be a shop or a feeling."

"Don't go ruining my shop with artists," Lizzie smirked.

"Your shop?"

"Our shop." There was something to different about this though. Adhara Books was more than the half dozen shit holes she'd worked in before, full lechorious owners and bitchy co-workers. Harry, for whatever reason, let her pretty much have free run of the place and trusted her to do anything she wanted. That included new signs for their upcoming sales, picking out stock for her favourite sections and even suggesting a new array of mochas she'd wanted try out.

He didn't horde it like a dragon atop his pile of gold, although she was fairly certain there was something not too disamilar behind his normally kind eyes. Every so often she'd see it, when he didn't realise she was looking, as though the lights were dimming and the ghost of whatever he was fleeing could run free, just for a second.

There'd be things he'd let slip. Comments about easier than chasing down killers or better than nights in rainy alleyways, but she'd never press him. He'd made it clear that wasn't a good idea, mainly because he'd be completely silent for an hour and Lizzie would be stuck with no one to talk to - which even in her darkest times wasn't her style. Unless she had a book in her hand and wine in her glass, then, maybe.

"Well, whoever's it is, it's nice. And he's cute, you know."

"Stop it."

"I'm serious," Sarah grinned as a customer deposited an empty cup on the counter, left a tip in the jar Lizzie had suggested - because Harry had been too affronted by the idea to even think of it, like tipping was foreign or something - and left. "I like him."

"You don't even know him."

"He's better than Joe."

"I know diseases better than that scumbag," Lizzie scowled, picking up the cup and taking it to the sink in the backroom.

"Which I tried telling you -"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." They'd been over that conversation way too many times. Sarah had a habit of trying to protect her like the world was too scary for her to live in. "Just, it's not like that, okay? He's nice, sure, but, he's my boss."

"Didn't stop you last time," Sarah smirked, looking more like a schoolgirl than the actual, real-life schoolgirls who were playing with Oscar. "C'mon, he's hot."

"Don't let Mike hear you say that."

It was worth mentioning her annoyingly optimistic boyfriend just to see the scathing glower on her face through the backroom's doorway. "Hot for you. Nice hot. Kind hot. Good, sweet, freaky in the sheets hot."

"Who's hot?" The cup shattered as it hit the sink, slipping from Lizzie's lax grip as neither of them had heard the bell ring and seen none other than Adhara Books' real owner walk through the door. "Lizzie? You okay?"

"Yep, fine, totally fine. Just soapy. Slipped." A squirt of washing up liquid and some hot water made that actually true. She was going to kill Sarah, who, to her credit, didn't show a trace of who exactly they'd been discussing on her face. Quickly grabbing a towel, Lizzie dried her hands and stepped back into the shop, greeted by Harry - who looked kind of cute in his knitted green jumper - an older, severe-looking woman and a child who could've been his son. The resemblance was uncanny. "You're back early."

"Just stopping by," Harry said with a wave of his hand. "Teddy wanted to see the shop, didn't you, kiddo?" The small boy nodded, never letting go of his grandmother's hand as his large eyes took in his surroundings. "He's shy with new people. So yeah, erm, sorry. Andi, this is Lizzie."

"Hey. Harry's told me a lot about you."

"Interesting. He's not told me a thing about you."

Ouch. "And Sarah," Harry added quickly. "Lizzie's friend, she's helping out today." Sarah, smarter than Lizzie, waved and almost instantly disappeared to help out the couple with the now human-sized stack they were carrying.

"Sooo." Because apparently talking was impossible to avoid. "How're you finding Seattle?"

"Wet."

"Yeah, that's kind of its thing." It was like trying to get conversation out of a trash can. "But there's plenty to visit. You guys should definitely do Rainer. The view is stunning, even in the rain. And maybe check out the space needle -" Which as her dad liked to always remind her he remembered being built, but to Lizzie was as much scenery as it was anything else. "- that's pretty cool."

"You remind me of my daughter."

Lizzie tried desperately to remember exactly how this intimidating woman felt about her daughter, given the fact that she wasn't around any more, and settled for, "thank you?"

"She didn't know when to shut up either."

It took all Lizzie had not to explode then and there. Had she not been at work, then every curse word under the sun would be hurled at that stupid, smug smile. As it was, she just clenched her fist and regretted the sudden spasm of pain that was shards of coffee cup she'd apparently not washed off her hand.

"Andi."

"Merely an observation," Andromeda said curtly, ignoring the warning in Harry's tone. "Now, that's rather enough of that, wouldn't you say?"

"Yeah, I would." Those emerald green eyes flicked to Lizzie. "Two minutes. How about you guys check out what we've got and if there's anything Teddy likes it's on the house, okay?"

Andromeda gave a small nod and then turned to her grandson, who had watched most of the exchange with bright-eyed curiosity before being distracted by Oscar - who had chosen just as Andromeda decided to assassinate Lizzie's entire being to drop down from the bookshelves and seeing what was going - and was happily stroking the ginger cat's fur. At least, until he was pulled firmly away by his grandmother.

"Nice to meet you," Lizzie called, plastering a fake smile on her face so that the rest of the customers didn't turn tail and run. The remark was, rather predictably, ignored.

"Still get to say I told you so?" Harry asked. Their conversation seemed so distant in that moment, but Lizzie was nothing if not persistent.

"Yep. She's just… getting used to it. It'll be fine. Doesn't stop her being a raging b-" She caught herself. "Not very nice person."

"Andi wasn't really sold on the whole 'moving to America to reinvent my life' thing."

"Really? I had no idea."

"She's great, honestly. When you get to know her. It's just - I'm sorry you got caught up in it."

"I've dealt with worse." Several leapt to mind, not least of all her own mother who could be pretty opinionated when she wanted to be. Besides, there was plenty Andromeda wouldn't say to Harry but could happily take out on the assistant she barely knew - people, Lizzie had learned, like being dicks to strangers, there was no consequences, for them anyway. "Honestly, it's no biggie. Go on, go have fun or half-fun or whatever's going on with you guys. We'll be fine."

There was a moment of hesitation and then, "sure?"

"Go!" God, it was like trying to get rid of an overprotective puppy. That didn't stop it being kind of sweet though. "Go bond, enjoy, and really do the needle. It's fun. If you're okay with heights?"

For some reason, there was that small smile again, the one he wore whenever it sounded like she'd said the funniest thing in the world but without a jot of context. "You could say that."

With a final hesitation and another round of shooing from Lizzie, Harry finally collected his godson and the stone-faced woman who represented the only family he had in the world, and left. Only when they were firmly out of sight, did Sarah reappear behind the counter, a scooped up Oscar in her arms.

"She seems… nice."

"It's pronounced asshole," Lizzie corrected and was prevented from ranting further by the arrival of the couple who were trying to buy what looked like an entire library. She yanked on her best customer-facing beam and said, "thank you for choosing Adhara Books, let me help you with that."