333 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Walmart with Swiftdrawer & Friends
Chapter 2: More Screaming and Yelling
Date: February 4th, 2023
This chapter was probably written live in front of many tracking things such as government cybersecurity software meant to detect things the government finds threatening or suspicious. Yay.
*Swiftdrawer* Now that things have calmed down, Grace, Madeline, and I part ways. We ended up sitting on a bench that so happened to be at the back of the store. Before I leave that bench, I read the next one to do on my list one more time to fully get it in my head: "8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell 'THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!'" "Oh yay, more waiting. I love waiting. Well, at least I can collect my thoughts as I wait a few minutes." I walk to the changing rooms that aren't far from where I terrorized some customers not that long ago. My sword is secretly attached at my hip but of course, the disguise hides it from all eyes but mine. If someone tries to kill me for some reason, they'll find their heart and my sword will have "established" a connection right after that. But I'm not here to kill some bastards. I'm here to spread mischief and deviance. I doubt anyone will really bother saying much to me yelling that. I know how indifferent people are. If you go to a place like Walmart, you could yell out some random crap for a few seconds and not much would happen. The most you would get is weird looks but then, people will return to whatever they were focused on as if you don't exist most of the time. I make it to the changing rooms without issue. I choose not to care if the attendant for them looks at me funny when I went into one of the changing rooms without any clothes or shoes to try on from the store. Carlos could have gotten away with stealing a lot of clothing and shoes to give to the poor if he had done this one instead of me. That would have been really nice. Oh well.
I lock the door behind me and get so focused on thinking that I don't hear whatever else was going on in the store around me. I thought about all kinds of things including what I'm going to yell so I don't forget. I have a habit of forgetting important things I'm supposed to remember by getting focused on other things instead of that. As for other topics, I think about the ongoing war against Nazis in Miitopia. I hope our comrades are doing okay without us. We can't rest without risking our lives and those who fight or patrol at night. Various other things too like Walmart's greed and Covid capitalism. After some time, I believe I have waited long enough. I take a deep breath and project my voice as loud as possible: "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!" As I thought, most people didn't react. It just caused whatever was going on in the store to stop for a few seconds. The usual store noise continued after those few seconds. It really wasn't that big of a deal. However, the changing room attendant was a different story. They knock on the door: "Are you okay in there, sir? Why are you defecating in a changing room?!" I decide to have a little fun: "Yeah! Don't mind me! I just took a big crap in here! It feels good! My butt is so warm and feels so relaxed! Oh and please don't call me sir. Not only is it too formal but I'm not a man or a woman. I am a human who doesn't identify with either of the conventional genders." "Eww! A gender cultist pooped in the changing room?! I'm getting in there whether you like it or not! I'll kill you! I thought they rounded up the rest of you freaks! Gender ideology must be wiped out from public life at all costs!"
They unlock the door and pull a gun on me and start shooting. There must be a silencer on that gun or something because I can't rely on my ears to help me dodge. But after showing extraordinary dexterity, I've had enough playing. "That's enough. Die." I quickly stab them right through the heart and don't even bother looking down. I put my sword back in it's scabbard and go to the bathroom to really take a crap and read the next item on my list on the way. But I postpone using the bathroom as I realize Grace needs my help with her next one. When I was done helping and read what was after that, I used it very quickly for once and made sure to wash my hands good before reading a message from Scar Basiltomato about that one. *Pickle Rick Not An Alien* After the chaos subsided and he ate more popcorn he also stole while making his way over to the food court area, Pickle Rick read his next task again: "10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell 'PICK ME'." "This is going to be so much fun! Hehehe!" He casually walks around a lot of people who are still obvious that he's secretly a real live alien with a knack for mischief and chaos. He quietly chuckles to himself, amusing himself with the prospect of how many people at Walmart still don't suspect a whole group of pranksters are creating annoyances throughout the entire store at this moment. Some people hear him and give him weird looks but he just ignores them and keeps chuckling. When he reaches his destination, he stops chuckling and checks to see if anyone is watching. Pickle Rick hides between some clothing and waits patiently with anticipation for someone to be unlucky enough to come face to face with him. He purposefully hid in a circle of patriotic clothing. A couple of straight white middle aged people who look perfectly normal and don't stand out much go to the ring and start carefully looking at all of the clothing. The man shows his wife all the clothing and eventually gets to the shirt in front of Pickle Rick. Once the man shows it to his wife and puts it back, the alien jumps up and yells: "PICK ME!"
A silence falls throughout the store for a few seconds just like it did a couple minutes earlier. "What in God's name are you doing that for? Bothering people is a sin! In the new Walmart Bible, that's what it says! Leave us alone, I don't want to pick you! In fact, I have a better idea. I can see it in your eyes. Your gay, aren't you, animal? *pulls out gun* With all of the chaos that has been going on, I might as well take matters into my own hands to protect this country from freaks like you!" Pickle Rick Not An Alien goes underneath the clothing ring and drags the man down with him. Upon doing so, the man tries to shoot him in the head but misses. That's what the alien was waiting for. He drags the wife down with them as well as she also has a fully loaded gun with a look of hatred in her eyes. What the customers around them didn't know was what was about to happen next. Pickle Rick takes the 2 to another dimension. An empty dimension where a fight occurs with the couple trying to kill him. After seeing that he can't change them, he chainsaws them to death with a balloon of all things. He then goes to a different section of Walmart and goes from there. *Pirate Blaster* He's been pretending to look at toys ever since Thrashbeak stopped playing with the price banners and all that other stuff happened. As a result, he doesn't even need to reread the new item on his list but I will list it here anyway: "12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men." While he was pretending to look at the toys, he was discreetly stockpiling a bunch of X-Men and G.I. Joes toys: "Thrashbeak, arr! Can you believe that they didn't pull or ban the X-Men?! I thought that they'd have done that for sure for it being woke and stuff! Let's give this boring store some action! Who said we didn't have to just set up the battlefield?!"
He then gets out all of the toys he secretly gathered and begins opening up their packaging, not caring about any dirty looks he's getting. If someone wants to say something, Thrashbeak for the most part makes them want to pee themselves instead in mere seconds flat. So most people just leave Pirate Blaster alone as he sets up the toys really fast. The same employee who was running around the store not even that long ago appears in the aisle through the method of walking. They get mad: "Sir! What did I tell you?! I told you to stay still and look at what you're doing! This is against the rules! After all, I am an assistant manager and customers aren't supposed to open up things in the store from our vast selection!" "Arr, I get what you're trying to say. Listen here, you damn landlubber. I will only say this once. I could easily pay for all of these toys but I refuse to give Walmart any money!" "Oh yeah?! Then, I'll just call the police and they'll get rid of you and all the other troublemaking rift rafts permanently!" "I don't think so! I cast Hallucination!" "What?!" Now the employee is wandering around screaming about things they're now seeing. The chatter in the store is so loud that most incidents with yelling get ignored. This one is no exception. And after that, Pirate Blaster finishes setting up the battlefield. Before the start of the Miitopian Civil War, Pirate Blaster was among those taught many spells by Miitopian spellcasters such as Bray and Julia. He's been hiding his magic skills ever since he learned magic but now, he's going to show off more of what he can do.
The pirate points his finger at some of the toys and says: "I cast Animation!" As a result, all of the toys come to life and a miniature scale battle takes place between X-Men and G.I. Joe plastic toys(whatever G.I. Joe is). Pirate Blaster leaves the toys to it and exits the toy aisle he's in. The screams of children and sounds of miniature weapons would be prominent for hours to come in that aisle. If anyone tried to confront Pirate Blaster and had the balls to be brave even against the rage of Thrashbeak, Pirate Blaster took pleasure in simply making them blackout. That was for most but for tougher people, he just sent them to another dimension. And for those 2 who tried killing him, they didn't live much longer. *Carlos* The thief is happily wandering the store after the chaos settles down in glee because Karen and Kevin continue to fight. The aisle they're in and the one with living toys fighting would soon become unspoken forbidden areas for employees and customers alike. He recalled that he has to go to the clothing section for his next one. Once he gets there, he sees Pickle Rick Not An Alien hide between clothing nearby. Naturally, his next task is: "13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them." Because entertainment just like on many Earths where American and British societies are on the verge of killing a lot of trans people is so big and used as a distraction, Carlos decided to steal one just from one person but from as many people as he could. At least until Pickle Rick Not An Alien was on the verge of showing himself. Every time someone came close by to him, Carlos quickly stuck his hand out and stole whatever he could grab first. Since his Miitopian job is thief, this was child's play to him.
He does this so many times without anyone even realizing it was he who did it. But it did stir up some uproars. Minor ones that made Carlos quietly giggle to himself. "Damn it, where's my gift for my wife Karen?! I'm planning on giving it to her here after I buy it to stop her from continuing to fight with Kevin! It's her birthday tomorrow and she wants so much stuff that I've had to work overtime for months to afford her desires!" "What the?! Where did those Oreos go?! Now I have to go back to the snacks! I was just about to check out!" "Bruh, did somebody take that new console I was going to buy for myself? Oh well, I guess I'll just get another one from electronics. I hope my friends aren't too mad I'm running a little late." "Aww no! That toy was meant for my son! Now I have to go back there! I have this ominous feeling that something violent is going to happen there! I don't wanna go back!" "Frank! Did you take MY bread that I was going to buy?" "No honey, I don't know what happened to your bread." "Well if you don't find out what happened to MY bread, we're getting a divorce once we're done here!" A lot more of that kind of stuff is said and Carlos almost blows his cover. Once he feels satisfied with what he's done, Carlos hides away all the stuff he snatched in his ender pouch and sneaked away throughout the store as Pickle Rick Not An Alien caused a scene. Carlos remained hidden in the shadows for some time to avoid suspicion, only getting out of them when Scar sent their message and going to get TP as a result. *Fluffy Afro* Fluffy makes his way to the party section for the next item on his list: "19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap." The clown remains quiet to not draw attention to himself for now. No one pays much attention to him as he grabs 2 tubes of gift wrap.
One of them has snowmen and other festive things on it. The other is literally just made of small versions of the Walmart logo. "So boring! Walmart logo wrapping paper?! Someone has no imagination and needs to learn how to laugh, play, and smile! Hehehe, this is going to be fun!" He wanders around until he finds the furniture section where he walks around challenging people. "You there in the red shirt! I challenge you to a duel of gift wrap!" "No way dude, I already have plans, I'm so sorry! Go try someone else!" "Woman in the pink floral dress! Duel me with gift wrap! I have some! Pick your weapon!" "You dare commoner defile me with your filthy request? That's against the rules, I'M CALLING THE POLICE ON YOU!" Fluffy knocks her out with the gift wrap. She wouldn't wake up for weeks. A ambulance was soon waiting outside for her as a friend of hers got her there from the store. Multiple other ambulances would show up due to various people dying or losing consciousness in the store that day. Fluffy continues asking around until someone eventually accepts. "Tough guy in blue! Fight me! Here's our weapons, pick one!" "I accept! This is going to be awesome! Fun is illegal in most forms nowadays but I'm sure we can get away with breaking some laws! Let's be cool! I'll pick the logo gift wrap. Get ready because I'm coming right at you!" "Hehehe, this is going to be great! Let's go!" The two got into stances and convince people to move out of the way by scaring them hard. Once they're both ready, they come at each other with full force. The fight is so spectacular that when employees come to try to stop it, they find themselves being sent flying and lose consciousness. Those watching the battle look on in awe as it continues. Fluffy's weekly training with Swiftdrawer before the Miitopian Civil War began has paid off.
In the end, Fluffy manages to earn the victory. The person he defeated gets back on his feet and shakes Fluffy's hand: "Thank you! That was amazing! I wish my life were that exciting, haha. That was seriously awesome. I feel so tough now even though I lost, oh yeah! I'd like to do this again sometime!" "Great! We could use someone like you! You'll find out who we is soon. I'm sending you elsewhere now because after all of that, Walmart isn't going to let you enjoy what freedom you have left any longer." "Send me somewhere else? Wha-" He's cut off as Fluffy discreetly teleports him to another dimension. He then grabs the tube his opponent used and started walking around with it and his after reading the next item on his list. *Blaze* Thanks to their insane speed, Blaze has already made it to the one cash register aisle that actually has a certain something in it following the end of the chaos and return to business as usual. Nowhere else can you find them in the store. They grin while reading over the next thing quietly one more time. "22. Open a pack of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a 'd-d-d-d-d-d-duel!'." This cash register section so happens to be empty as it was the one where Banana Rick tried to check people out earlier in the visit to this Walmart for the sole reason of causing chaos. Looking around to see if anyone is watching and seeing no one, they quickly disable a nearby security camera and secretly steal and hide most of the few Yugioh products the store actually has. Except for a package containing just one pack. "They have a pack of Number Hunters?! I know from my human Swiftdrawer that this pack was released like 8 years ago! What is this doing here? Oh well, time to have some fun with them!"
They sit down in the floor, open the package, and tear off the plastic to reveal the cards inside. With that done, they use their nose to figure out what the least crowded section of the store is: "Yuck! A lot of humans here stink! Did they ban showering and/or deodorant on this Earth?!" The least crowded section at the moment happens to be the personal hygiene/beauty section so they go there. Once there, they begin the process of waving the revealed cards at people which are in their right paw and challenging them. They do it as quickly as possible. "Hey! Hey! I challenge you to a d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" "No! What are you, a childish nerd who plays that game they're working on banning right now? Why do you smell a lot like my dog?" "Hehehe! You can't handle me, you must be no fun! You're more right than you know! Bye now!" "You over there! Let's d-d-d-d-d-d-duel! Come on, it'll be so much fun!" "Get away from me! You smell like a wet dog! I hate dogs! Get away! Get away!" "Well, you're just rude. Oh well. Bye!" "It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel! Duel me, pretty please?!" "Sure! But is that all of the cards you have?" "Nope! Let's duel!" Blaze leads the person, a young woman to a even less crowded part of the section they're in. Once there, they say: "I cast Illusion Sphere!" Nothing changes around them except for the fact that people can't see them anymore. It's like they're ghosts to this universe now. Blaze then throws the woman a spare duel disk they just happened to have handy.
"Let's have a truly real duel! Your memory of this will be sealed away after this but let's have fun until it's all over!" "Is that a real duel disk?!" "Yes, it is!" Soon, the duel begins. Blaze uses a deck full of cute but dangerous life forms while the woman uses a top level Blue Eyes deck. It was a fierce and intense duel that ended in a couple minutes. Blaze barely emerged as the victor before taking back the duel disk and sealing her memory before returning things to normal and hiding a lot of things. They then moved on from the woman who is left dumbfounded due to memory sealing. This was in time for Pickle Rick's antics to cause a brief storewide silence. *Dominic* Dominic gets up from where he was chilling until everything calmed down and reads off his list again: "26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it." "Yes! My relaxation dreams will be realized! I need a nap!" He lightly grins as he walks to the furniture section. Paying no mind to what else is going on there, he easily drags a lounge chair that was on display over to the magazines near the cash registers. "Before I relax and maybe take a nap, I'm going to the food court!" The scientist gets there quickly and seeing no line for drinks, he gets a cup and buys it from the cashier that's present there: "Is this all you want?" "Yeah, I don't get out much. Could you put a little umbrella in it? *hands the cashier 3 dollars* Keep the change. I just really need to relax and feel those summer vibes." "I think we have some in the back. But before I go get it, what would you like to drink? I have to fill it up for you as you can see."
"Could I just get some water? Sugary drinks are just too much of a nap causation for me." "Sure. Please be patient." The employee fills up Dominic's cup with water and some ice. After that, they smile and go to the back. They return with a little umbrella attached to a blue straw and hand them to Dominic: "Here you are! Thank you so much for your purchase! Have a great day!" "You too!" Dominic leaves with his drink and goes back to where he moved the lounge chair. "What a nap! They must have moved it back! *gets serious* I'll show them you don't take chill time away from me! Action Manipulation!" Dominic hacks into the fabric of reality and causes it to influence the employee who put the lounge chair back to bring it back to the magazines. Once that was done, he let go of the fabric of reality and the employee gets confused only to shrug things off and go somewhere else. Meanwhile, Dominic lays down on the water park style lounge chair and relaxes while drinking his water. After that, he closes his eyes and takes a nap that would have lasted hours if it weren't for the shouting from the clothing section. It woke him up only to find an angry employee glaring at him: "Finally, you're awake! Now explain to me why you're napping on this lounge chair or else!" Dominic simply manipulates the fabric of reality to get the employee to forget this whole thing and just do something else. The scientist groans: "Now I don't want a nap. I should read what's next I guess. What an annoyance." *Banana Rick Not An Alien* Banana Rick was so ready to cause more problems for the employees of Walmart. She reads the next item on her list over another time: "31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like how come this store is called wal mart? Or what's up with your hair? Why do you people wear name tags can't you all remember your own names?"
She wanders for a minute or so before finding an employee who is just standing in the electronics section very bored. Banana Rick approaches them. They greet her in a professional friendly voice which is betrayed by their facial expression: "Hi there, is there something I can help you with?" "I have some questions. Why is this store called Walmart? Is it because there's so many walls here?" "I don't remember everything but this chain of supermarkets turned nation is owned by the Wallance family. That's why it's called Walmart." "Why do you employees wear name tags? Can't you all remember your own names?" "Hahaha, you're funny. I'm bored so I'll just tell you. No, it's because we can't always remember each other's names. There's a lot of us who work here. So much so they have backup employees waiting around in case someone can't work anymore or has gone missing." "I see. But what's up with your hair? It's so weird!" "For your information, this hairstyle is one of the few ones that's still legal in the world! I like it!!" "Woah, you're passionate! Here's another question. What do you think of aliens?" "Why are you asking?" "I'm just curious!" "Okay okay. Well, I'm not sure what to think anymore. They say they exist, they say they don't exist. They're horrifying in movies but friendly in cartoons." "I have one more question." "Stop with the questions! Can't you ask someone else?! Leave me alone! I can't take this anymore! Leave me alone!" "No, I won't leave you alone! My last question and that's all! You can keep being bored all you want afterwards! What would you say if I'm an alien?"
"I would laugh because that's cosplay and cosplay was banned 2 years ago! You'd be so done! I'd report you to the police and everything!" "I have something to show you, you secretly slimy minded human!" "What?! Are you cosplaying?!" "No. *reveals true form* I'm the real deal." The employee she was bugging screams just as commotion elsewhere made the store go silent for a few seconds. The employee starts fleeing by running. As soon as their back is turned to Banana Rick, she goes back to her human disguise and whistles calmly while looking at the next item in her list. *Austin* It's worth noting here that everyone's disguises changed "randomly" during the chaos that Dr. Bonesbane caused. The pop star gets up from where he was and reads his list again: "37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room." "Hehe. This is going to be great! Now this'll piss off the TERFs and Nazis!" He heads right over to the bathrooms right as some funny individuals exit the men's with grins on their faces. He greets them before standing around until no one is looking at all towards the bathrooms. Once the coast is clear, he tears off both signs for the bathrooms before using super glue he stole on the way to the bathrooms to glue the men's where the women's was and vice versa. He walks away and blends into a nearby crowd where he uses his microphone to pick up and hear all of the commotion that happens in the bathrooms. This continued until other commotion silenced the whole store briefly.
"Aaaaaa! Are those urinals?! I'm in the wrong bathroom!" "Get out of here, lady unless you want us to beat you!" "Get the hell out of our bathroom, man! OUT!" "Okay! Okay! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" "JUST GET OUT NOW!" "What the hell?! Woman extras in here? Get out!" "I knew the GOP were right about bathrooms all along! *sounds of being knocked out*" When the other commotion happens, Austin is quietly dying of laughter but he composes himself to read what's next before heading where he needs to go. The bathroom commotion would continue the rest of the operating day along with the toy battle and wandering new employees getting lost. *Banana Pants* Banana Pants pretty much stays where he's been for the next thing to do: "40. Whenever you hear a voice saying, clean up etc fall to the ground sobbing screaming the voices!! then get back up & act normal." "I get to scream! This is going to be great!" He focuses heavily on the speaker system throughout the store. What almost nobody else realized was that there were announcements going on about every 30 seconds or so. "We have a missing child. His name is Flummersnop Gakalicious. If you find a boy named Flummersnop, please go to the entrance of the store with him. Thank you." "*falls to the ground* *sobs while screaming* THHHHHHHHHHHHE VOOOOOOOOOOOICESSSSSS! *gets back up* Time to figure out what I need to get first." "Security to the frozen food aisle. 2 customers are still fighting there. Please handle it." "*falls to the ground* *sobs while screaming* THHHHHHHHHHHHE VOOOOOOOOOOOICESSSSSS! *gets back up* Time to figure out what I need to get first." "Attention all employees, there are still multiple wet areas that do not have wet floor signs. Please move the randomly placed wet floor signs throughout the store to them."
Banana Pants ignores all the stares and things said to him for now on as he pulls the same things over and over. "*falls to the ground* *sobs while screaming* THHHHHHHHHHHHE VOOOOOOOOOOOICESSSSSSSSSS! *gets back up* Time to figure out what I need to get first." "Please advise, toys are going missing in one of the toy aisles. Someone go investigate. Thank you." "*falls to the ground* *sobs while screaming* THHHHHHHHHHHHE VOOOOOOOOOOOICESSSSSSSS! *gets back up* Time to figure out what I need to get first." "There's a gift wrap duel going on. Employees. please stop those engaged in it. Thank you." ""*falls to the ground* *sobs while screaming* THHHHHHHHHHHHE VOOOOOOOOOOOICESSSSSSSSSS! *gets back up* Time to figure out what I need to get first." "Attention employees, some customers are complaining of missing items from their carts. Go figure this out." ""*falls to the ground* *sobs while screaming* THHHHHHHHHHHHE VOOOOOOOOOOOICESSSSSSSSSS! *gets back up* Time to figure out what I need to get first." "Cleanup in the toy section, a kid is crying and has thrown up seeing action figures shoot each other. Thank you." ""*falls to the ground* *sobs while screaming* THHHHHHHHHHHHE VOOOOOOOOOOOICESSSSS! *gets back up* Time to figure out what I need to get first." "The Yugioh cards have gone missing. Someone please look for them." "*falls to the ground* *sobs while screaming* THHHHHHHHHHHHE VOOOOOOOOOOOICESSSSSSSSSS! *gets back up* Time to figure out what I need to get first."
The commotion from the clothing section causes Banana Pants to finally stop. For some time now, there have been some employees yelling at him to stop. He finally takes action by luring them into the employees only freezer and locking them in there before reading what he has next and going elsewhere. *Pickle Pants* Pickle Pants leaves the bathroom and greets Austin back before reading again: "54. Get a marker & go over all the barcodes with a line then go purchase your items... the person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand." Pickle Pants rushes to the front to get a cart and then he races around the store with that cart to put in as many items in it as possible after first stealing and opening a box of Sharpie markers. Every time he put an item in his cart, he quickly with an uncapped Sharpie marker in his hand drew a line over its barcode before putting it back in his cart. Pickle Pants went to the cash registers as soon as he filled the cart up all the way with random items and such. He sees Blaze really start their antics involving the Yugioh cards before going to another cash register which so happens to have no line. He puts all the items he grabbed on the small conveyor belt and the employee activates it and starts scanning the items' barcodes. But they find out that that won't work: "What the?! Is this some kind of joke?! I hope that not all items in this store are like this! Fine! I'll put in their numbers myself because I will get fired if I don't!" Pickle Pants would stand there for a long while as the employee by hand typed in the numbers for each item one by one slowly and carefully. This would effectively be the longest running way to get kicked out. The employee groaned the entire time while customers behind Pickle in line got very angry.
They all suspected he's at fault for this so they tried to hurt him only for him to secretly teleport them all to different cash register lines and seal their memories of his antics with the help of a spell scroll. Management and others would try to help the employee but he ignored them completely and no one could convince him that Pickle was responsible. Pickle refused to move himself so the others were just forced to give up after 2 minutes about 4 minutes into this all due to noise from the clothing section. *Bray* The Sage sighed: "I don't really enjoy lying but here we go." She rereads what's next: "61. Go to a clerk and tell them u lost your son and ask if they can call his name over the speaker! When they ask u his name make up a ridiculous name." Bray walks around until she finds a cashier who isn't busy. That same cashier would suffer from Pickle Pant's stunts a mere minute later. "Hello there, how can I help you?" "Thanks. But I shall tell you a huge problem I have because I must. I lost my son. Can you call his name over the speaker? It's really important that he's found swiftly. He's terrified of crowds. I shall never bring him here again." "Aren't you a little old to have a son?" "Yes but my body is unique. Can you please call his name for me?" "Sure. What's his name?" "His name is Flummersnop Gakalicious." "Okay, head to the entrance of the store for now. *pulls walkie talkie from register and talks into it* We have a missing child. His name is Flummersnop Gakalicious. If you find a boy named Flummersnop, please go to the entrance of the store with him. Thank you."
Bray walks to the front of the store and calmly waits around to see if anything will actually happen. All she sees is the employee she asked for supposed help dealing with Pickle Pants and otherwise normal things. When the store goes quiet due to clothing section problems, she stealthily goes to another part of the store where she reads the next item. *Mel* The former knight leader of Miitopia reads over what she has to do again: "99. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices." After going to the candy section and grabbing a chocolate bar, she quickly goes to the cash register area and gets in line for a somehow also not busy cash register line as there's no one in line for it. "Hello there! Will that be all for you today?" "Yes, all I wanted from coming here was a chocolate bar. It just took me awhile to find the candy on my own." "Okay. Your total is 1. There's no tax on chocolate." "Okay. *gives a dollar bill over and grabs the bar before pocketing it* Here you go." "Thank you, have a nice day!" "You too." She pretends to leave the store before going back and doing the same exact things over and over. After doing it 3 times over again, the cashier finally notices after Mel pays for her 4th chocolate bar: "Hey, you seem familiar. Haven't I seen you doing the same thing several times already today? Why would you waste your time like this?!" "I kept getting indecisive about whether I wanted another or not and coming back to get another." "That's bullcrap! No one does that, you bastard! Stop this now or I WILL get security and the police on you! Do you unders-" They're interrupted by the commotion and silence caused by Pickle Rick Not An Alien.
Mel takes the chance to flee to another part of the store very quickly before she can get chewed out again. After that, she ignores Karen and Kevin while reading her next item. *Minglow Bats* The Lost Academia teacher reads his next thing over and over on the way to the camping section to himself in a whisper: "117. Get a tent ( With holes preferably ) and tell people to come in your lair. When they do chuck popcorn at them and ask them who invited them in." He gets a box with a picture of a tent on it knowing that a tent is in fact inside before going to the snack section to get a big bag of popcorn. Minglow Bats knows exactly what he's doing. He makes his way to the candy section where he quickly sets up the tent and discreetly uses spells to create holes in it. With that done, he goes around inviting people throughout the store to come. What they didn't know was that he would return to it before any of them made it inside of the tent. To save time, he basically goes around sort of yelling the same thing in his iconic monotone voice: "Come to my lair in the candy section! You're all invited to it." Once he's done it in all sections, he goes back. When people start coming into his lair, he opens up the big bag of popcorn and throws some at them, "Who invited you in here? This is my lair! Get out." "Dude, it was you who invited us in here!" "So that's your answer. Face more popcorn. My doppelgänger of a brother is responsible for inviting you. We look, act, and think alike. He's probably somewhere else now laughing at my expense." This thing continues on for a little bit until he's forced to stun and knock out an angry employee while the store goes silent as explained before now several times already. By that point, people stopped coming into his tent and started telling people to avoid it to avoid being hit by popcorn of all things.
Minglow Bats stayed in the tent and only left it when he read the next thing to do once the store returned to its normal buzz. *Madeline* She's clearly spent "too much" time fighting alongside Carlos as she grins at reading once more what's next for her: "129. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as you can." She happens to be wearing a jacket disguise for her armor. It's a good thing that armor has some pockets that were put in the accommodate her Cleric job. Doesn't help here but it does if she actually wants to steal so,e food or whatever to give to the poor. But anyway, she sticks her right arm inside of her armor as shady as possible as she begins to leave the store. Madeline knows she's got a few eyes on her so she continues with that in mind. As she walks through the automatic doors, she pretends to get really tense and leans over to "see" if the alarms would go off. Once outside, she lets out a big sigh of relief and swiftly looks around to see who is watching her. A lot of people are so she puts in extra effort to run away as fast as she could. Due to so much fighting and training, that was about 40 KMP. After that, she had her disguise changed and renters the store with no one suspecting she was the shady character that just left Walmart who is now entering it all over again. Madeline finds and sits down on the bench that was just used by some of her friends as the clothing commotion silenced the store.
In those few seconds, she read what must be done next, got up, and went from there. *Dr. Bonesbane* The furry scientist looks around the store after stopping for a break until the chaos dies down. He's in search of a cheap and an expensive item because here's what he has to do: "141. Switch the price tags with something expensive and something really cheap." "Removing sticker tags is impossible for me! At least not without destroying them! My formula for this mischief must be perfect! I will not fail! I will use attached tags to remove and switch around!" Dr. Bonesbane goes to the toy section first, ignoring Pirate Blaster's battlefield set up going on. He takes the tag off of a stuffed animal which he takes with him for now. He then goes find the most expensive lamp he could find and takes its tag off too. With that done, he puts the stuffed animal's tag on the lamp and the lamp's on the stuffed animal. Dr. Bonesbane quickly puts back the stuffed animal where he found them just in time for the first of 2 silencing commotions to take place. He stands off to the side near the toy section as kids begin screaming in terror and all that. The scientist waits around there until shortly after the 2nd silencing commotion. Once it happened, a kid started crying because a certain stuffed animal was what they wanted but their mom wouldn't let them get it due to the high price. He figured now would be a good time to move to wherever his next thing to do was going to be after he read what was next on his list. An argument in the meanwhile raged between an employee and the person who grabbed the lamp with the wrong price tag attached to it. It would go on until closing off to the side near the in store pharmacy.
*Grace/Swiftdrawer* Grace's next one is: "165. Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV's you can find. whoever blows up most wins." and I forgot. I message her on my phone. She responds immediately and tells me she's by an argument by the pharmacy. I go there immediately. We meet up very quickly: "Adam! You're here! I couldn't reach ya for a bit! You were busy! Now let's take some guns and show the bigots here what we're made of." "Those are some extremely tough words coming from you!" "Yeah, it's just that I want to see Walmart fall." "I know." We walk together to the weapons section. It's small and has a rack of guns in the back and a glass counter full of guns and ammo with a cashier at a cash register present. I pull out my sword and threaten them: "Listen here, we aren't going to hurt you but we're going to be snagging some guns and ammo. If you try anything, I will stab you. I won't kill you but you will hurt and bleed a lot. Don't interfere." They gulp and nod reluctantly. I tell them to stay quiet as I carve through the glass with my sword. I put it back in its scabbard. Grace and I each grab a gun and load em with some bullets. We hide them away for the moment. Then, Grace seals the cashier and whoever else was watching's memories away and fixes the glass from the cut I made into it. Now that that was done, we immediately headed to the electronics section where the voices of other people and things was defeaning. I could barely hear myself think. It was like a video game tournament was spontaneously happening in the store. Or at least, that's what it seemed like. Lucky for us, no one was by the TVs or looking in that direction.
"Are you ready, Grace? Remember that we're trying to blow up the TVs. Whoever blows up the most will win absolutely nothing but the victory." It doesn't take long for us to shoot up all the TVs. We didn't say anything, we just focused on shooting them as target practice for dealing with our Miitopian Nazi enemies from a far if necessary. No TV lasted more than 3 seconds against us. We may have more experience with bows as ranged weapons but we still hit our targets on the mark without any trouble. Each TV went down like the next. The glass was shattered and the TVs stopped working once we fired at them. We finished merely seconds before a commotion was heard from the clothing section that silenced the whole store. When the chatter started up again, we had to kind of yell to each other to communicate: "That was great! Did you count? I didn't!" "I would say darling that I'd be surprised you didn't count but I didn't count either!" "Damn it! It doesn't matter though. Let's just get out of here before someone notices what we did to the TVs and figures out we were the culprits for what happened." "I agree. Let's go!" We put our new guns away, read what's next on our lists, and dashed away before splitting up again. *Hamaduh Riley* The infamous prankster graduate of the Lost Academia laughs as he reads over again what is on his list after what he previously did: "187. Run at people with a pitch fork." "I wonder where I can find a nice dapper pitchfork that is so lit that it will be easy to run at people with it! Let's find one! I can't wait! This is going to be so much fun." He looks around for a pitchfork but couldn't find one on the shelves anywhere he looked. That was until he found a certain killing obsessed enemy of Swiftdrawer's pitchfork right there on the ground. Hamaduh grinned widely and picked it up, preparing to terrify some people with it as soon as possible.
*With Yappa Yappa, Don Thousand's castle* Yappa Yappa is wandering around the castle of the Barian god on search of his pitchfork: "Where did MY PITCHFORK GO?! Not again! Not another failure! I'm losing my mind! This is not what I wanted! I want to kill so bad! If someone took my pitchfork, I will enjoy killing them painfully and slowly! It will be so much fun! I just can't wait to find whoever has my pitchfork! They'll be so sorry and beg for mercy that they will never get from me! And when I do get my pitchfork back, I will have more reason to get my revenge! Adam and Pmurt Nedib will squirm in pain as I slowly kill them! It will be the best time of my life when I finally kill them for good! Revenge will be so sweet and Pmurt's company will be mine! Mine to control! Mine to use! I will bring about a Neo-Molcolian Empire that will surpass Freddie's! I know he's out there somewhere! I'll make him so jealous! This will be so much fun! So so so so fun! Now where is MY pitchfork?" Don Thousand appears before him: "Settle down, mortal. My servants will find it no matter where it is. After all, I tagged it with my energy after I revived you and sent it to this dimension I call my domain. One day, I will bring this dimension under my complete control at last. If you betray my trust, the tag will let me know. It also tracks where the pitchfork is but it's accuracy decreases the further away from this dimension it is. Be patient. For now, myself and the others want to have a meeting on what our first moves will be. Attendance is mandatory. Be there. Those first moves of ours will allow you to get your revenge on Pmurt Nedib. I promise you that you've only had a taste of all of the power I will grant you once our time truly begins." "Okay. But can I kill a few Astralites as they call themselves now at least?" "Yes, after the meeting but do it discreetly. We don't need Astral or the others to find out."
*Back with Hamaduh* "This is no ordinary pitchfork! It's like each part has a blade! This would have been amazing against those damn Life Stealers! Now it's time to bring on the scares! I really just can't wait!" He finds some people arguing whose names aren't Kevin or Karen. Who knows what their names are. But it didn't matter at all to Hamaduh. Instead, he runs at them with the pitchfork. It was in a crowded area so almost no one noticed what happened. But those arguing did: "Aaaaaa! I'm sorry for starting this argument! This guy is crazy, let's leave!" "Yeah!" The 2 get away as quickly as they can. Hamaduh appears all over the store doing the exact same thing for a couple minutes, terrorizing many in the process. That's when a man known as Mr. Heartland shows up through a Barian portal. Mr. Heartland has short green hair with lighter green bangs, light skin, purple eyes, orange glasses with a crimson v shape attached at the center, a white suit with insect wing like coat tails of gold and green color, some orange and magenta details, a cane with a bug eyes like head, and a hot with pink and yellow hearts. "You young man have something that doesn't belong to you. Hand it over and I won't infect you with pain and suffering in a duel. It belongs to Yappa Yappa and he needs it back." "Mr. Heartland, I've heard of you. I'm done being silly for now! If it's a duel you want, it's a duel you'll get!" "I won't waste a Barian sphere field on a amateur like you. Let's duel right here and now for this whole store to see! I'll squish you with infected bugs of my own! You can go first to have a false sense of confidence." They activate their duel disks: "Let's duel!" "Oh so that's the rare Minecraftian Arc system duel disk? It looks like a pickaxe. I've always wanted to know what they look like so I knew if I were destroying a Minecraftian in a duel or not! I know who you are! We've done our homework, Hamaduh Riley! Well, I didn't. But I made others do it for me!"
"I'll defeat you in one turn!" "Look kid, just surrender! You won't beat me unless you become a Barian just like I did and serve the almighty Don Thousand!" "Shut up! It's my turn! I just need 1 card to defeat you seeing as that we both have 4000 life points! It's already in my hand! I activate Guess and Pain! By sending one card from my hand to the graveyard, I can guess the name of a card in your deck or extra deck. If I'm correct, you take 1000 points of damage. If I'm wrong, I take 2000 points of damage." "You're just setting yourself up for losing! Just because you know me doesn't mean you know my deck!" "I guess Rank Up Magic Barian's Force!" "What?! That's correct.. AAAAAAAAA!" "I guess Number 1: Infection Buzz King!" "How are you?! AAAAAAAA!" "I guess Infection Extension!" "Nooooo! This can't be! No one should be able to defeat me this fast! You're cheating!" "I don't care! I guess Infection Fly! I have no cards in my hand anymore but you have no life points! It's over!" "This is impossible! AAAAAAAAA! *falls into a Barian portal, the duel ends* I will get you for this! This isn't over, mark my words. That pitchfork will be returned to its rightful owner!" Hamaduh gets away from the peanut gallery after that and hides away Yappa Yappa's pitchfork with plans to put it somewhere safe and secure. He hears a commotion coming from the clothing section as he reads the next item on his list.
*Don Thousand's castle* Mr. Heartland appears in the throne room falling on his butt: "Owww! That kid bested me so easily!" Yappa Yappa laughs: "I knew you were going to fail, Heartland! You don't have a strong instinct to kill! That's why!" "You!" "Calm yourself, Heartland. Tell us, what did you discover." "Oh right.. Yappa Yappa's pitchfork is in the possession of a prankster brat who graduated from that Lost Academia a few years ago. His name is Hamaduh Riley. *explains what happened* So there you have it. What should I do now?" "Mr. Heartland, no one else is to go after the pitchfork. Not yet. Once I see a chance to get it back, I will order everyone here to try to retrieve it. We must stay in the shadows and watch Miitopia among several other worlds closely. For now, you and Yappa Yappa are to complete a intense duel training that will last several weeks. My Vector clone will guide you. Be ruthless. I want to use the game of Duel Monsters to control all that exists with some exceptions! Yappa Yappa, a temporary pitchfork will be waiting for you in there. Use it as much as you desire. Do you understand?" "Yes, master Don Thousand." "Do I get to kill your Vector clone if I beat him in a duel?" "Yes. Now go in the training room with Heartland. You two better get along or else." They both nod and go to it together before entering. *Fluffy Afro* Loading screen RCT2 might as well play right now. Fluffy Afro grins mischievously: "25. Attempt to drown in a kiddy pool..." "This is going to be so dumb! I'll horrifically attempt to drown while entertaining others in the process!" He goes to the toys section where he finds a kiddie pool filled with water out for kids to play in already. However, it's empty of kids because of what else is going on throughout the store that has gotten the attention of the children instead of the pool.
He sits on the ground before opening his mouth as wide as possible and using his hands to dunk his own head right into the very shallow water. His spine is in one hell of a position as he's forced to have his face touch the bottom of the kiddie pool in order to attempt to drown in it. Adults see what he's doing and pull his head out of the water only for him to beat them up while still sitting, knocking them out for a while. They would leave the stores held by those who cared for them before being placed on ambulance stretchers. For several minutes, people keep making him fail in his attempts to drown in the kiddie pool. But that stops when kids start screaming due to graphic violence committed by action figures that have come to life nearby thanks to Pirate Blaster. Generally, violence isn't funny at all but since it's just plastic action figures fighting each other, it's probably fine. Now with no people stopping him, he successfully manages to drown in the kiddie pool. He'd have been found dead just minutes later if it weren't for the fact Thrashbeak quickly revived him with a Yggsdrasil Leaf and pulled him out of the water in under a second before flying back to Pirate Blaster who never noticed Thrashbeak went missing briefly in the first place. So that was one problem dealt with. Fluffy quickly recovered and read what was next for him to do. *Thrashbeak* After Pirate Blaster talks to him and before he saved Fluffy, Thrashbeak flew to the snack section where he found what he was looking for immediately due to the following: "250. Spill cooking oil all over the floor and then slide in it." Pirate Blaster never knew the bird went off doing this either until later. The bird used his beak to get a container of cooking oil which he let drop to the ground. The aisle was packed so it almost hit someone. Luckily, it didn't hit anyone. Instead, it just hit the ground and Thrashbeak swooped down to rip the seal off of the container. He then took flight and dropped the now opened container again. The spill of cooking oil went everywhere.
"Ha! Spill cooking oil! Easy! Make people fall! Easy! Squawk!" He then dives into the cooking oil mess and generates terror by sliding around in it without a care. People in the aisle were now scrambling to get out of there only to fall on each other and have Thrashbeak slide around around them. The parrot really enjoyed this for about 2 minutes. After that, Thrashbeak flew up and shook all of the oil off of him, not caring who got sprayed or not. He flies back to Pirate Blaster in under a second before anyone spots him long enough to point him out as an annoyance they need to bring down right away. *Scar Basiltomato* As for Scar Basiltomato, all they have left are the ones everyone is involved in so she contacts the others. But as it turns out, they all read the same item on the list as her so they all make a decision on what to do for it together right then and there in the chatroom. The thing they're all doing together is: "39. TP as much of the store as possible." Instead of meeting up to do it, they with the exception of Pickle Pants for obvious reasons take turns teleporting to where the toilet paper is, grabbing some, and teleporting to back where they were. Once that was done, they all began their work. Scar Basiltomato after a mission to a world of talking piles of poop where Torvald the Turd is rumored to exist again in has become very very very good at using toilet paper because pizza people are extra sensitive to poop. It does some really bad things to them such as making them die of becoming spoiled if exposed to said poop for long enough.
Scar Basiltomato is easily able to TP more of the store than anyone else because of their acquired skills in using toilet paper without it sticking to them due to their grease and sauce. They and the others admire their handiwork. Together, they covered about 5% of the store in toilet paper from floor to top of the shelf. No one stops or catches them because it's still so busy and there are still screaming kids, people slipping and falling on throw up, cooking oil, and more, Kevin and Karen fighting, a increasingly irritated cashier being tormented by Pickle Pant's sabotage without realizing it, and some other major problems for the employees, store, and customers. They all decided to meet in small groups throughout the store before splitting up again after some talking and reading whatever was next on their lists. That didn't take very long at all. Closing hours were 11 PM and it was only 11 AM so they have plenty of time to keep causing problems. To be continued.
Outro: And here it is! Chapter 2 of this quirky story! I hope you liked it! It's not as long as the last one but that's okay. I wrote what I thought was enough to describe what everyone did and that's just how it went. Thank you for reading, hope to see ya next chapter!