She bit down on her lip, her eyes not straying from her first target. Time was ticking, soon she would move in, soon she would kill.

Chapter Five

Three Years Ago

Midwinter was almost at Corus, but inside the palace was warm and cheery. Pages and Squires bought their friends and knight masters presents. While knight masters bought their squires and friends presents. Big firs were going up in the dining hall while thistle, holly, and mistletoe were being hung in the corridors. The squires began to think wistful thoughts about getting a kiss from a lovely Convent lady under the mistletoe when Midwinter finally did arrive. But in one set of rooms, things were not the same.

Squire Alan and Prince Jonathan of Conté's shared rooms weren't the same at all. It was their first Christmas without the King of Thieves since they had suffered his loss, and both felt it deep down. Jon would do his duties, and then fade to his room to be alone. Alanna would do hers, and then do the same.

One particular night, after a long party for noblemen only, Alanna, having returned sooner than Jon, heard a knock on her door.

She opened the door, and was nearly squished. It was all she could do her haul her bigger knight master back his to feet, half dragging, half steering him towards the bed. She lowered him down and then shut the door.

Alanna smirked as Jon made a face, running a hand across his sweaty face -- it must have taken a lot of dancing to get that sweaty! "Mithros do I feel sick."

"I told you to quit drinking while you were ahead." Despite the criticism Alanna's voice was soft as she pushed Jon's sweaty hair out of his face. "I-I miss George too, Jon, but that's no reason to get drunk."

"No," Jon said, slowly, pushing himself onto his elbows. "There was another reason."

Alanna smiled. "What's that?"

"This." Jon thrust himself forward, and kissed Alanna, hard. His hands threaded through her hair, pulling her back down onto the bed as he fell back over in his drunken state, taking her down with him.

Alanna felt her own mind struggling with the whole situation. A part of her, a very large part of her, wanted to weave herself into that kiss, and kiss him back. But another part of her reminded her of the last time he had kissed her, and then taken another girl to bed.

Jon drew back, his hands still on her face. He brushed her red hair from her face, and smiled drunkenly at her. "Well? I love you."

Alanna swallowed, hard. Very hard. She fidgeted, tucking her legs under her and looking down at him. She bit her lip, wrestling with the urge to kiss him again, to let herself be his, just this once. "I can't," she whispered at last.

"Why not?" Jon demanded.

"You're drunk! For all I know you don't even mean this. For all I know it's only because you're drunk that you're doing this. Sleep now, you'll feel better in the morning."

ooo

Alanna stirred at first light the next morning, and odd thing for her to do since she wasn't a morning person. Her body ached, and she groaned and straightened up, not knowing why. Then she remembered. She was sprawled out in her wickerwork chair, her blanket wrapped around her. She had left Jon in her bed only because she thought it would be too difficult to take him to his room.

Alanna tossed the blanket off and stood up, stretching. With a yawn, she made her way to the privy, and splashed cold water on her face. She rubbed the water from her face and returned to her room, wondering what to do with Jon.

But the problem was solved soon enough, for her knight master woke up, complaining about a terrible headache. Alanna grinned as she made him one of Maude's old brews to cure hangovers.

Once Jon had drunk the glass dry, he was feeling much better indeed. "What happened?" he asked, staring around in wonder. "I don't remember anything after Lady Roselyn's joke about you being a tiny squire."

"Oh boy." It was worse than Alanna had thought. She hadn't even left by then. She hadn't left for a good two hours after that crack. "You were flat drunk," she explained. But Jonathan noticed that she was avoiding his gaze.

"Alanna, did something. . . happen?"

The girl shook her head, a little too readily. "I didn't do anything, did I? Because, you know what it means to me to be your friend. I don't want anything to happen after last time."

Alanna still couldn't look at him as she made another cup of tea for his hangover. She wanted to tell him what had happened, but it was all she could do not to fling herself on top of him and kiss him.

A shiver went down her spine. His hand was on her shoulder. He turned her around to face him, and lifted her face to his, staring into her eyes. "What happened?" he demanded, calmly, icily calm.

"You-you kissed me." Alanna all but choked the words out. "You-you wanted to-to. . . you know." She twisted her face into a disgusted look, but inside she wondered what it would have been like.

"Did you?" The flat calm in his voice made Alanna shiver again.

She squirmed in his grip, not saying anything. "Did we?" he demanded, and when Alanna looked in his eyes, she saw fear.

"No," she said at last, squirming out of his grip as he let her go. "No, we didn't."

Jon breathed out a sigh of relief.

Alanna walked to the other side of the room, purpose in her steps, but all over she was shaking. She wanted nothing more than to fling herself into his arms and do what he had wanted to do the night before. But she didn't.

ooo

The next night was another ball, and again Alanna returned to her room as soon as possible. And again Jon came to her door, but this time he wasn't drunk. Not even a little, and when he kissed her, she couldn't taste the alcohol in his mouth at all. He kissed her with a fiery passion, his arms pulling at her tunic, his tongue touching hers.

And this time, Alanna didn't refuse. Because it was what she wanted. It was what she had wanted the other night when he was drunk, but wouldn't take advantage of.

Jon pulled Alanna's tunic and shirt off, so that she was shivering in just the bonds that she wove around her breasts. He stopped then, meeting her violet eyes with more emotion than Alanna could sort. But the one she saw most prominently was fear.

"What's wrong?" she asked, touching his face softly.

"This isn't right. It-it feels so right though. But it's not!" His voice was desperate and confused. "This is the only time I've ever been nervous," he admitted with a sheepish grin, rolling back on his heels. "I've never stopped before."

Now that he was talking this way, Alanna felt her stomach clench, and her heart rise into her throat. She was nervous too. But Jon put his hands on her sides, and kissed her warmly, reaching down for her pants.

This time it was Alanna who pulled back. "J-Jon?" Her voice quavered, shivers spiking up and down her spine. "I-I'm scared."

"Me too, Alanna. Me too."

ooo

Alanna woke up the next morning, feeling a warm heat beside her. Jon's arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her close to him. She rolled over to face him; pushing herself against his body. She was afraid of what had happened the night before, but like Jon had said, it felt so right, and yet so wrong.

Neither of them were wearing any clothes, and despite the heat of Jon's body Alanna was still rapidly growing cold. She put her hand in his hair, messing it up slightly, smiling as he slept on. Then she put her face against his, kissing him until his eyes opened and he sighed.

"Well, we're still alive," Jon said, kissing Alanna squarely, putting his arms around her and drawing her closer. "I love you Alanna of Trebond, I don't ever want you to leave me, ever again."

Alanna smiled a little, her stomach churning. Someday things would be different, but right now, she and Jon shared a dirty little secret that not even Gary or Raoul would be let in on. But that 'dirty little secret' meant one more thing that she had to conceal, and one more thing for a certain someone to find.

Please R-E-V-I-E-W! I hope you like it, sorry it took longer, but now that schools in I'm afraid it will. See you all soon!