SAM

The samples won't delay

But the cable --

LYDIA-ROSE

There's another way
Say something -- anything

SAM (into the mike)

Testing " two, one, three

LYDIA-ROSE My God, you dumbass

SAM This is weird

LYDIA-ROSE It's weird

SAM Very weird

LYDIA-ROSE Fuckin' weird

SAM I'm so mad
I have absolutely no clue
Fighting with microphones
Freezing down to my bones
And to top it all off
I'm with you

LYDIA-ROSE Feel like going insane?
Got fires on your brain?
And you're thinking of lighting gasoline?

SAM As a matter of fact --

LYDIA-ROSE Sammy, I know this act
It's called the 'Tango Rite 13'
The Tango Rite 13
It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
As it keeps you dangling

SAM You're wrong

LYDIA-ROSE Your heart it is mangling

SAM You won't get anything from me!

LYDIA-ROSE

And you toss and you turn
the carpet you can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

SAM

I think I know what you mean

BOTH The Tango Rite 13

LYDIA-ROSE

have you ever looked at the groupand though that's spooky'

SAM Uh...

LYDIA-ROSE Have you ever doubted a class or two?

SAM This is spooky Did you trip when you walked through the door?

LYDIA-ROSE Every time -- so be cautious

SAM Did you fight with the other guys --?

LYDIA-ROSE More than fight --

SAM I'm getting nauseous

They begin to dance, with LYDIA-ROSE leading.

LYDIA-ROSE Where'd you learn to tango?

SAM watching the Mardi Gras festival every year. And you?

LYDIA-ROSE Watching the Tango Maureen in RENT with y'all on Rite 13 movie night.

They switch, and SAM leads.

LYDIA-ROSE

Finally- it was weird doing it backwards.

SAM
You should try it in heels!
we speeded

LYDIA-ROSE
we speeded

SAM
Rite 13 speeded

LYDIA-ROSE
Fuckin' speeded

SAM I'm defeated I should give up right now

LYDIA-ROSE Gotta look on the bright side With all of your might

SAM I'd fall for it still anyhow

BOTH When you're trying to dance
You don't stand a chanceno romance
any anyways you fall

LYDIA-ROSE So you think, 'Might as well'

SAM "Dance a tango to hell"

BOTH

At least I'll have tangoed at all'
The Tango Rite 13
Gotta dance till ten o’clock comes

You pretend to believe the stuff

Cause in the end

" you're in the buff But the end it will come
Still you are pretty dumb
you're glum and you're a bum
Smurfs are blue

LYDIA-ROSE Why do we giggle when Scott's mean?

SAM And V can be so obscene

LYDIA-ROSE Try the mike

SAM Rite 13 (reverb: een, een, een...)

LYDIA-ROSE Patched

SAM Thanks

LYDIA-ROSE You know -- I feel great now!

SAM I feel lousy

The pay phone rings. LYDIA-ROSE hands it to SAM.
Honey, we're... pause Pookie?!
You never call me Pookie...
Never call me Pookie again NIKKY...
whatevs, we're patched.

She hangs up, looks at LYDIA-ROSE. BOTH The Tango Rite 13!