Chapter 3: Prepare yourself
At the market near his house Spencer ordered enough chicken to feed an army, unsure how much each person would eat, and the butcher who was always friendly couldn't help but ask. "Entertaining, doc?" "Yes, colleagues of mine from work." "Aw, the F.B.I. guys. Buy lots of wine. You official types seem to loosen up after a few glasses." Spencer considered this, and decided to buy twice as much wine as he had originally planned just to be on the safe side. He picked up all of the ingredients he needed, added another bottle of wine to the cart, decided to get a case of beer for Morgan, and was on his way home.
Once the groceries were put away, Spencer stood in his doorway trying to see his house as if for the first time. He rushed to straighten a book on a shelf, adjust the blinds so they were all perfectly in line, hid his mail basket. Spencer walked the hall and made sure there were plenty of clean linens in the bathroom in case of an accident, and made a note to search the house for anything Hotch's baby could put in his mouth. He walked upstairs and looked from his bedroom area to his office space. For once he wished there were doors. He had always relished in the open area, but now wished he could hide everything embarrassing in his room and lock the door. For a moment he considered calling everyone to cancel, but knew that Gideon would be disappointed, and that he could not handle.
Spencer fed his fish, and settled into his armchair to watch CNN. He walked through the steps for the cooking he would do the next day, twice, and walked the house again to make sure nothing was out of place. He decided he better wash his china, not that it wasn't clean, but because it might not shine. Then he realized he would have to find something to be a centerpiece, J.J. would appreciate that, and decided he would have to go buy flowers in the morning. Maybe, he would send them home with one of the women, knowing they would enjoy them more than he would. He suddenly feared someone might ask him to play piano and he decided he better brush up. He played beautifully, but worried he would stumble over a note and none of them would be impressed. He rehearsed a flawless concerto and worked out what he would say should they ask about his experience, where he learned, why he had never told them.
In the mirror while he brushed his teeth Spencer went over things to talk about. Ran conversations with each member of the team, his invited guests, and considered safe topics for each. Though he knew Gideon hadn't meant for them to talk about work, he knew they would, and he was glad with the realization that Haley being there might prevent too much of that talk. He knew the women would all socialize well, but what would he talk about with Morgan, Hotch and Gideon? The only thing they all had in common was knowing the worst of humanity, and that certainly wasn't appropriate dinner conversation. He decided to look online at men's magazines to find topics that might be appealing to Morgan and Hotch, knowing that Gideon wouldn't make him feel bad about anything they talked about.
Spencer lay in bed, sleepless. He was used to little or no sleep, tossing and turning to chase away bad dreams. Tonight, however, he lay perfectly still thinking about everything that could go wrong the next day. Eventually he drifted off to sleep and managed to dream about how well things would go. He imagined things that would come out of it: Morgan coming over to watch some sport on his TV and drinking beer with him, Hotch and Haley insisting he come to their son's little league games, Elle and Garcia laughing at his jokes instead of at him, Gideon being proud, and J.J….J.J. would decide he was everything she could ever have wanted in a man. She would fall in love with him and beg him to forsake all others.