Chapter Eight

Two Years Ago:

Slowly things seemed to be awakening. A dim light was flowing through her closed lids, and birds were starting to sing. But Alanna ached from head to toe, and wasn't sure where she was.

She opened her eyes, and sat up, looking around. The Royal Forest looked menacing in the light throne from the first quarter moon. Animals were calling out, and what she had mistaken for birds were really crickets. Somewhere deep in the forest she heard a owl hooting.

A shiver crept down her spine.

Where am I? What happened?

Then she remembered. Moonlight. Was her precious mare alright? What had happened to Jon and Gary. And whose voice was that? It was so familiar, and yet still out of reach from her groping mind.

A name was floating in the air before her.

"Grrr." Alanna pushed herself to her feet, brushing her breeches off. She looked around, and felt a shiver run down her spine. In the distance something was staring at her, black as the night. A cloaked figure on a horse, that had to be what it was. But somehow Alanna had a feeling that it wasn't what it appeared to be.

The figure shifted, and the creature reared up. Alanna gulped. It was a horse, and yet it wasn't. It had four legs with black hooves on them. But in the light she caught its face. It was horribly malformed if it was a horse. It had a long black face, with glittering black eyes on either side of its head. Its nostrils flared, and it opened its mouth. Inside its mouth were jagged fangs, each the size of a sharks, and probably each as sharp. But the strangest thing was the wings that were spreading out from its sides. Long, black, and leathery, they unfurled. Once they beat, twice, and then Alanna recognized a bats wings.

Alanna swallowed. She pulled Lightning into her hand, preparing her magic if there was a need. But the creature stayed. It thrashed in the air for a moment, and then came down on all fours. Then the rider looked at her, and Alanna could have sworn its eyes were red, then the horse-thing crashed back into the forest, away from Alanna.

She breathed out a sigh of relief, but Lightning remained in her hand never-the-less.

Alanna stood there for a moment, trying to calm her shattered nerves. Then she put Lightning back in its sheath, and started through the forest in the direction she thought home was.

Something in the forest rumbled, and she spun to face it, drawing Lightning.

"Alan?"

"Alan?"

"Alan?"

None of the voices sounded familiar, save one. Alanna headed for the speaker as quickly as she dared. She burst through the underbrush just as the others were about to leave. Her heart was pounding in her throat, making her unable to talk. Instead Alanna sent out a wave of magic, and Jon turned around, his eyes lighting up as he looked at her.

If it weren't for the King's men all around, she was sure he would have grabbed her and hugged her with all his might, probably breaking a few bones in the process.

I told you she was fine, a sniping voice remarked from somewhere behind Jon. Alanna looked over his shoulder and spotted Faithful, sitting on Darkness's saddle, washing a paw.

"That's enough out of you," Jon shot back, not even looking at the black cat with big violet eyes. "The rest of you go home, we'll be there shortly," Jon informed the King's men.

One by one they filed out of the clearing, obviously too tired to bother complaining.

Only once they were all gone did Jon throw his arms around Alanna, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. "I'm so glad you're all right!" He slipped his other arm under her knees, so that he was holding her in his arms, and then kissed her.

It was a long, passionate kiss, one of the ones that they almost never shared anymore because they tended to forget what was happening around them.

Uh. . . Yuck.

Jon and Alanna pulled back at the same second, and burst out laughing at Faithful's remark.

"Jon, where's Moonlight? Is she all right?"

Jonathan hung his head, shaking it sadly. "I'm sorry. Gary went after her, but she was going to fast. We'll look for her again in a couple of days, once her steam will have worn off we'll have a better chance finding her."

Alanna nodded grimly. "Okay."

"For now let's go back to the palace. People have been missing you--other than me that is."

Alanna grinned, then frowned. "Why?"

Jon laughed walking them back towards Darkness. "They're eager to find out for themselves if what Lady Cynthia said is true."

The girl in the Prince's arms groaned. "Are they now?" she asked dryly.

Jon put Alanna back on her feet, and offered a hand to help her get up. Alanna tried a few times to throw herself onto Darkness's back, but he was bigger than Moonlight, and she had trouble even scrambling from the ground onto the mare. So she finally took Jonathan's help, swinging herself into the saddle unceremoniously.

Faithful clambered onto her shoulder as Jonathan got on behind her, gripping the reins around her.

Alanna sighed and leaned back, resting her chin against Jon's shoulder.

Faithful sniggered and hopped onto her lap. Someone likes the Prince!

"Oh, shut it," Alanna replied with a yawn. "Like we didn't already know that?"

Are you going to get married and have little kitties?

The remark would have been cute, except Faithful said it completely seriously. Alanna was stunned out of words for a long time.

Alanna and Jonathan made it back to the palace in Corus at midday. They were greeted eagerly by the King and Queen, and the men that Roald had sent looking for her.

"Where have you been?" Roald demanded. "When my men said you'd told them to come back, Jonathan, I couldn't help but worry. What if. . . What if someone thought the rumors were true?"

"Pfft!" Jonathan snorted, "Let them think! I thought we'd agreed, Father, that it didn't matter what anyone thought? Alan and I are not homosexual!"

Roald scuffed a shoe nervously. "I know you're not, but that doesn't stop people from speculating. And it's not good if people think that you're. . . well, that, before your reign, son."

Jon swung out of the saddle, offering a hand for Faithful. The black cat leapt onto his shoulder, and scurried to the ground in a hurry. See you later, he said, running off for the palace, and dinner.

Alanna leapt off the saddle a moment later, and took Darkness's reins as Jonathan moved to his father, speaking quietly. After a few moments Roald nodded and shrugged. "I suppose you're right. Let the think what they will, but I will not be happy if they start doing too much speculating."

"Noted, Father," Jon said with a smile. Roald returned his son's smile, then took the Queen's elbow and led her back into the palace.

Jonathan sighed and rubbed his temples. "I need something to drink," he said hoarsely. "Something strong."

Alanna laughed. "You and me both. C'mon, let's go back to our rooms. I need to think for a while."

"Alan, what happened in that forest?" he asked, his voice stern.

She took a deep breath, preparing to lie--and stopped herself. Why should she lie? Why didn't she just tell Jonathan about that--she shuddered--thing and its rider?

"I don't--I don't want to talk about it now," was all she said. She had tried to tell the truth, but the words had caught in her throat before she could say them.

Jonathan nodded slowly, starting toward the palace. "Alright. But I want to know as soon as you can talk about it. Something happened in there. And something happened while you were riding Moonlight back then. I felt it with my Gift. And when you went flying--you hit a tree on the edge of the path and fell into the bush. . . But when I went looking, you were no where to be found!"

Alanna shuddered at the thought of something dark truly being against her. She had always suspected Duke Roger of being cruel and trouble, but she had never thought that something could get inside her head. Because that voice had come from the inside, otherwise the others would have heard it.

Then she remembered what Coram had said that day when she was still a page. He had said something about the Duke being able to get inside peoples heads--but how the Goddess protected her from him. And then Mistress Cooper had told her that the Goddess had her eye on Alanna. What if--after beating the Ysandir and everything else she had suffered--the Goddess had stopped looking after her. What if she was really to travel the rest of the path to knighthood all by herself? The thought made her cringe.

"Alanna?" She hadn't even noticed, but they were standing in the empty corridor outside their adjoining rooms now. "You'll tell me when you think you can--right?"

Alanna swallowed, determined to shelve her fear for now. "Yes, Jon, I will." She pulled the door open and walked in, closing it behind her as she heard Jonathan move off to enter his room.

She sunk down against the wood of the door, pulling her knees up against her chest. "Why can't I just be like everyone else?" Alanna asked nothing in particular. "Why can't I have just been born a boy?" She sighed, and rested her chin on her knees. "Why?" Slowly, the burning sensation in her throat was growing. She kept talking, trying to shove it away. "Why do I have to be the one with the secret?" Her eyes were glossy now, and it hurt to talk. "W-Why? Goddess--why?" The tears poured down her cheeks now, hot and furious. Alanna didn't know why she was so upset, but it didn't really matter. The tightness of her throat got a little tighter, and the tears streaming down her face felt like boiling water. "Why?"

Her head fell back onto the door, her sobbing going on without relief. "Why does it have to be this way?" She staggered to her feet, sobbing outright. "I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask to be a girl!" She was shaking with anger, hatred, and fear all at the same time. Her eyes were red and bulging from the tears. "I didn't ask to be a girl!" She screamed out in anger. Nothing coherent, just something to yell.

Alanna's shoulders shook as she leaned against the door, pushing her face against the wood. "Great Mother, why are you doing this to me? You're deserting me, aren't you? Come back!" She brought her fist against the wood. There was a splintering crack as the old wood broke down the length of the door. The crack stopped there, but it stood out like a battle scar.

"In the name of Mithros!"

The door was ripped open, and Gary stomped through, looking furious. But one look at Alanna's face and he was instantly sorry. "Alanna, what's wrong?" He slammed the door behind him, looking around for Jonathan. The prince was nowhere.

"I can't take it, Gary!" Alanna sobbed, her shoulders hunching over in a defeated look he had never seen. "I think--I think the Mother's turned her back on me. How am I ever to become a knight if she's ignoring me? How!" Alanna pulled her fist back to strike again, but Gary caught her hand. "Let me go!" she wailed, tears falling wildly.

Why am I doing this? Alanna wondered. Inside she felt fine, after those initial words, and the first tears. But now her body was out of her control. Whatever lay inside her could not control her tears or her voice. Gary! Gary, listen to me! It's not me! I don't know what's going on. I'm in HERE

But it was no use.

Alanna fought for her hand, trying to pull it from Gary's grip. "Ssh," he whispered softly, wrapping his much larger hand around hers. He swallowed hard, wondering what on earth he was doing. Wasn't Jon supposed to be comforting Alanna when she was like this?

"I don't want to do this anymore!" Alanna wailed, her attempts to take her hand back feeble. "I just want to go home--to--to become a lady!"

Gary, calm and cool, stopped moving, the blood draining from his face. This was not the Alanna of Trebond he knew. The Alanna he knew would never think of being a lady. Shaking his head, Gary rubbed her hand between his fingers. Tentatively he put his other arm around her shoulders, pulling her head next to him and stroking her hair. "Alanna, just calm down." He was trying to stay calm, but he was terrified too.

I'm in here! Alanna shouted mentally, trying to make her body move. Please, Gary, I'm here! But she knew it was hopeless. Without a Gift he would never see her. Get Jon! Please, Gary, please!

"He'll never hear you. It's hopeless little one, and all that has to happen is you must remain under my spell for another hour. Then the damage will be done, and everything will be over. . ." Cold laughter followed the same voice that had spoken to her before. And then she recognized it. It was the voice of Nicholas, the man that Roger had talked to one day in the cellar that she'd overheard a year before. She swallowed.

"She is running from the devil. . . And so is everyone else--only they don't know it."

R-E-V-I-E-W. I know, I'm evil. But that's really the end of the chapter. Haha. Thanks for reading!