Daydreamer: So, this story is almost finished. almost. and what happens to Horo? read and find out

Chapter Seven

Ren awoke in his bed, yet again to another flash back dream. An old memory, the one Yoh spoke of to him only two nights ago.

The one Ren apologized to Horohoro in the end.

The dream reminded him of everything. Exactly what happened, how he felt at the time, what his thoughts were...it's all fresh again. Ren sat up in the bed, the dream now getting hazy. But one thing was sure now that he's reminded; before he apologized to Horohoro, Yoh was right. He did think that the Ainu might leave. Was it fear or even guilt, Ren found it was possible. He ran a hand down his dark purple hair and sighed, not exactly sure of what to feel for the reminiscence.

How do you feel even now?

Ren peered at Faust who was sleeping in the bed next to his, remembering the question asked by the bassist a few nights ago. The unpleasant morning aggarvated the Chinese and it didn't get better with the lingering drowsiness. He sluggishly climbed out of bed and went to the sink in the bathroom to wash his face.

The cool water got Ren wide awake and it dripped from his bangs. He loomed over the sink and blinked a few times, getting his mind from the dream to reality. He reminded himself of what's really going on, the real issue with Horohoro.

How do you feel even now? Did you ever miss him? You really didn't feel lonely? You're not scared?

The questions thrown at him from his friends echoed in his head as if they were bouncing about the walls. He gritted his teeth and threw a fist at the mirror, but caught himself before it hit the glass. He hit the wall instead and bit down on his lip.

Why didn't you stop him? Yoh's voice rang in his head.

"I don't know..." Ren whispered and his arm dangled to his side. He really didn't know why. He got so angry at Horohoro for putting up such a dramatic act that day. So outraged that he found nothing to say and ignored the drummer for the rest of the night. And without exchanging even another word, they went to bed in the hotel room, both avoiding to even look at each other. The next day, Ren's anger failed to cease and he continued to ignore Horohoro all the way until the Ainu went out the door. It only occured to him that he was really gone when he didn't see him the day after that. And he's always thought he's been angry all this time.

Ren grabbed a towel and wiped off his face. He looked at the clock and was at least satisfied with the time. Much earlier than yesterday and everyone else won't be awake for a few hours. He quietly changed his clothes, careful not to wake Faust. There was a lot of time so a walk didn't seem like a bad idea to clear his mind.

XxXxXxXxX

The sun hasn't risen yet but the faded blue sky showed that it was close. The air was cool and misty, rather comfortable for Ren. With no particular destination he walked along the sidewalk. Maybe it was because he wasn't even paying attention, he stopped abruptly and shook his head. He only visited the place twice but his feet have brought him to the hospital. He stood frozen for a while, knowing that Horohoro was there.

He won't make it

Ren narrowed his golden eyes at the doctor's words. They stung but nothing came out as he swallowed hard and went into the white building. Barely anyone was around except for some busy nurses as he walked down the sixth floor's hallway. He soon reached Horohoro's room and reached for the knob. However a nurse stepped up between him and the door.

"I'm sorry, visiting hours have not begun yet." Ren found that it was the nurse they met the first day they came to see Horohoro. Ignoring her statement, he reached out again. But still, she stood in her place.

"Let me in." He said sternly, though tried not to sound threatening to cause any trouble. The nurse stared back strictly, only trying to keep the rules maintained. Ren took a deep breath and spoke in a more calm tone this time, but showed the urgency in his amber eyes.

"Let me see him." He whispered, eyes moved to the door knob. The nurse hesitated. She was strict but also a fan, but more a woman of sympathy. After a few seconds of hesitation, she sighed and came to the side. "Thank you." Ren said in sheer gratitude and went in. He approached the curtained bed and moved the thin white fabric. He cringed a bit. There Horohoro lay, showing no sign of conciousness as before. Still so pale with all those things covering his thin body. It made him look so fragile, like he can shatter just by being touched. A fragile porcelain doll that Ren shouldn't dare lay a finger on. He squeezed his hands into fists, turning his knuckles white.

"One year. One fuckin year...and this is how you show yourself again? What's wrong with you?! How much of an idiot do you have to be to get yourself like this?! I tolerated an idiot like you all this time... and then one bloody day you tell the whole damn world that you're leaving without even telling any of us? That's so irresponsible, you know that? You left us with all the media jumping at us. And then you get yourself like this. Baka Ainu trying to get away with everything...you're nothing but trouble." Ren looked down on Horohoro with his eyes narrowed but not of threat. More of disappointment for the limp Ainu. He lay silent and unmoving, no reply to give. Of course he did. He wouldn't react. He wouldn't answer. He wouldn't just jolt his eyes open and sit up to scream his own insults right back at Ren. Of course not... so why did the Chinese expect him to?

"Hmph, since when were you this quiet? Since when do you actually keep your mouth shut? Where'd you learn to listen to everything I say without talking back with that obnoxious attitude, huh? Decided not to get on my bad side all the time for once? Finally growing up? Go on, say something?!" Horohoro didn't accept Ren's challenge, or answer to it at all. Ren fell back on the chair next to the bed. His shoulders slumped and he rested his elbows on his knees. He shook his head in his hands, unable to understand why he was saying these things. It's not what he wanted to say. He didn't mean it. He didn't want to be sarcastic, he didn't want to be insulting. So why was he? Why did it have to be so hard when this may he his last moments?

"Say something..." Ren uttered again to Horohoro and looked at him. The bluenette remained silent and still. Ren's eyes fell on his hand, the one that didn't have any IV's in it. He reached out and took it into his own shaking hands. It was still warm but as if he wanted to keep the warmth or let it go nowehre, he held it tightly. By now Ren knew...that he was scared. Maybe he's been turning away from the fact that he's not angry anymore. Maybe he's finally realized that. And he's reminded just how important Horohoro is to him, that he's a not just an ex-band member but a friend. But he also knows what's at hand righ now and for the first time it really got to him. He's scared. He's scared that he'll never speak to him again. That this could be the last time he sees him and he couldn't say one decent thing since they separated. Tao Ren was scared...to lose Horohoro.

"Don't go..." Ren whispered desperately, almost sounding like a beg. His elbows still rested on his knees and his hands still held on to Horohoro's. His face hovered over the hand and his eyes squeezed shut as he began to tremble. He felt himself crumble.

"I'm sorry." Ren's voice went into an even lower whisper to keep his voice stable. He remembered the last time he's said this to the bluenette. When he said it before it was too late.

"I'm sorry, Horohoro..." His voice rose to be clearly heard, but it quivered as his eyes blurred. For that brief moment Ren almost believed that those two small, simple words would do what he thought it did in the past.

But this time, it seemed to be too late.

That thought brought a hot tear drop to fall on Horohoro's hand. And another followed. And another. And another...But then Ren froze and opened his eyes which widened at the site before them. He could barely see it, barely feel it unless he stayed dead still. Horohoro's hand...it was moving. The movement was small and weak but Ren knew it took more effort than he could imagine. It twitched a few times but that wasn't all. The fingers wrapped around one of Ren's hands, as if to hold it too. The grip was so weak, Ren couldn't move afraid that he'll lose it. He moved his other hand that wasn't being held by the Ainu and wiped his eyes. His hand still not moving a muscle and with a cleared sight, he looked up at Horohoro. He almost forgot to breathe. The Ainu was still unmoving and his eyes were still shut. But from between those closed eye lids peeked liquid. A single tear seeped out and ran down Horohoro's face.

It's hard to say that I was wrong...
It's hard to say that I miss you...
Since you've been gone it's not the same...
It's hard to say I held my tongue...
It's hard to say if only...
Since you've been gone it's not the same

TSUZUKU

Daydreamer: Ok, let me remind you all that this is NOT the end. There is just one more chapter, which is the epilogue. There you will see what became of Horohoro and Ren. Yeah, I know this is pretty short but then again, this is a song fic. The epilogue will be the only chapter without the lyrics though. Sorry that this was such a short chapter like many others before it, but this is the best i could do. Also, I would really really appreciate reviews from everyone who reads this, those are what motivates me the most. So PLEASE PLEASE review