Deck the Halls with Globs of Mud

(To the tune of Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly)

Italics are the words that are sung to replace the Fa la la la's

The sun just barely manages to peek through the window as it begins to rise, its weak early morning rays cast an eerie glow on a large group of students gathered in a classroom in the wee hours of the morning. They sit on desks and stand around the space wherever they can; it is filled to capacity, probably more. Three, with similar poses that demanded respect, stand in the front of the room. They converse quietly to each other for a moment before they seem to come to a conclusion. One nods and the other smirks, the third just rolls his eyes. They all nod to a blonde boy directing the others in the back of the large, tired, yet energetic crowd that has been there all night. They lift their hands in unison, and with great flourish, conduct the fist measure of the yearly carol.

A teacher in the office just off of the classroom where our practitioners are gathered allows her head to fall on her desk with a clearly audible thump.

The carolers grin and begin their annual yuletide tale, loud enough to be heard throughout the castle.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

We decked the halls with globs of mud

Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha

Painted it thickly, plastered it good

Smear smear smear smear, smear it well

Watched Filch's face turn mighty red

Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty, colors

You could fry an egg on his head

Sizzle sizzle sizzle, pop pop sizzle

---------------

We try to find a place that needs more

Look look look look, and search some more

He can't hurts us thanks to Dumbledore

We really really really love that man

We put some more chunks here and there

Finishing finishing finishing touches

Maybe he'll loose the rest of his hair

Bald bald bald bald bald, bald bald bald bald

---------------------

Oh crap, I hear footsteps

Run run run, run run, run far far away

Quick we need to hide the evidence

Throw throw throw throw throw, throw it out the window

Here comes Filch followed by McGonagall

Hide hide hide, hide hide hide, don't let her see

We pile and cram into girl's bathroom

Ooooh, what's this here pretty machine?

---------------------------

Now we sing this song from detention

La la la la la, la la la la

We're trying not to catch the teacher's attention

Hush hush hush hush, hush be quiet

We just thought we'd give you this fair warning

Take it, take it, take it, please

Make sure to kick Mrs. Norris this morning

Stupid spy, stupid cat, got us caught

---------------------

Well, we'll do it again like it or not

He he he he he, he he he he

We don't care if we get caught

We we we we we, we don't care

'Cause nothing's better, nothing in the world

nothing nothing nothing ever

Then seeing Filch try to stop the tears he poured.

Why why why, it's just a floor!

----------------------

The teacher moans from the office and one of the boys in the group, of sandy hair, a semi-weary expression, and surprisingly good hearing, nods to the other two in the front. One, the taller of the two, gets the message and enters the woman's office.

He finds her with her head resting face down on her desk, hands placed firmly over her ears.

"Why Professor, if we didn't know better, we'd say you weren't enjoying our little tale!" The boy spoke as if this could not possibly be true.

The woman, to whom the boy referred to as Professor, gives him a weary stare.

"Sirius, I've heard it sung at least eight times a year, and it's your sixth year, it is inevitable that one should tire of it."

The boy gives her an affronted look and turns to leave the office, of which the woman was seriously considering soundproofing. He enters the classroom once more where his fellows are gathered.

"Is she annoyed?" the other raven haired boy asks.

The first, called Sirius, merely grins. "Time for round two my singing minions! Here we go!"

The shrieks of Argus Filch resounded around the castle, only to be drowned out by the next round of joyful chorus.

Argus Filch's Christmas List

1. A ban on all dirt in Hogwarts (Nasty stuff, mucking up my floors…)

2. A ban on all mud in Hogwarts (See above)

3. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew to stay in bed for once (I think McGonagall and I share a Christmas wish)

4. The old punishments allowed again (Me and Nigellus are starting a petition)

5. Students banned from Hogwarts (It'd keep the place much cleaner. Less work for me.)

--------------------

A/N: Well, apparently I'm taking requests! Just drop an idea and I'll try to write it. Thank you Mulch Diggums for the idea of Filch torturing and for letting me use the Christmas list idea. Go read her stories, she's on our favorite authors list, and you can read my other stories too…..

I have a massive Xylophone/Vibraphone/Bells part I need to work on for honor band. I have a drum lesson I haven't practiced all week for, Algebra, and a huge WWI report to work on. Feel grateful for my short attention work span and love of Sirius.

Reviewers will receive the character of their choice to be a slave for a day as a Christmas Present

And I give up; nobody will tell me about the frosty song. :' (