Super Sped Bros.
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own Super Smash Bros. or any of the related games.
Chapter Four
Yoshi's Story
Oh, Say Can Yoshi?
Master Hand - As long as I can remember, I hated the entire Yoshi race. That little pecker was never there when I truly needed him…
Crazy Hand - Yoshi wasn't in the Wario games.
Master Hand - Shut up, dammit! Anyways, I believe that it's time to have some fun with our little subject…
(Falcon opens the fridge and gasps.)
Falcon - I didn't know we had cheese.
(Falcon goes to eat the cheese, but Yoshi's tongue swoops up and snatches it. Yoshi eats it, then goes to fart. However, his eyes bulge and he runs upstairs and into the bathroom.)
Luigi - It's your turn.
Mario - -sigh- I know.
Falcon - My cheese! That is it! That little squeaky man has eaten his last piece of my food for the last time!
Samus - Did that make any sense?
Ness - Barely.
Falcon - -hops onto the computer- Let's see… -types- Yoshi…
Fox - It might help if you weren't on it.
(Falcon looks at the computer he's sitting on.)
Falcon - Oh. -types again- Yoshi… Let's see… Egads! There's more than one! There's… -looks at camera- Two! -dramatic music plays-
Samus - I'm pretty certain there's more than two. -dramatic music plays again-
Luigi - Actually, there's an entire race of Yoshis. -dramatic music plays once more-
Falcon - My… God… It's an invasion and no one's contacted the President! -runs through wall-
Fox - Now look what you did.
Luigi - My bad.
(Moments later, Falcon is on the Dr. Phil show.)
Dr. Phil - What happens to be your problem?
Falcon - Yoshis are invading the Planet Earth!!
(A brief silence follows.)
Dr. Phil - Right… I think that you should face your problem (whatever it might be…) head on and get rid of it.
Falcon - Of course! Landmines! Thanks, Mr. President! -runs off-
Dr. Phil - If you say so…
(About an hour later, Falcon places one final mine on the ground. The entire house is now surrounded by landmines.)
Samus - I'm getting the groceries. I'll be back in about… Landmines!
(Everyone looks out of a window and sees the landmines.)
Fox - Can some on say obsession?
Falcon - Use this! -tosses Samus unidentified object-
Samus - Uh… -is holding a case of pop-
(Yoshi's tongue comes out of nowhere and swallows the pop whole.)
Yoshi - -belches 'Yoshi'-
(The ground begins to shake as Falcon jumps into the air and through the roof of the house.)
Falcon - Observe.
(A herd of Yoshis run into the landmines and, every time one steps on a mine, they get blasted into the cosmos.)
Falcon - Mwahahaha! Now, by stepping on those mines, they've all contracted Hepatitis C!
(All eyes turn to Falcon.)
Ness - I think Hepatitis C is the least of their worries.
Falcon - Gasp! You mean they've got cancer, too?!
Ness - No.
Falcon - AIDS?
Ness - Never mind.
Falcon - A nasty cold?
Ness - Just drop it.
(Falcon drops an anvil on Ness' foot.)
Ness - My foot!!
(The Yoshis stop coming.)
Falcon - I think I got them all. -sees that the landmines have vanished- Yes! Did I ever tell you that I'm an excellent Riverdancer?
Samus - You've committed massive genocide of an entire prehistoric race and you're talking about Riverdancing?
Falcon - Why not?
(Falcon hops outside and begins Riverdancing. One the last step, he steps on the final mine. As he flies into space, everyone, including the Yoshi reinforcements, puts on sunglasses and watches as Falcon explodes for some reason. He reappears seconds later on and platform of white light. He drops down from the platform and brushes himself off.)
Falcon - Let's do it again!
(Yoshi waddles forward and kicks Falcon in the shin before swallowing him.)
Falcon - -muffled- You cannibal!
(Yoshi then spits Falcon into the cosmos.)
Samus - Well, all's well that ends well, right?
Master Hand - Not necessarily. For, next time, someone's most prized possession will disappear.