Super Sped Bros.
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own Super Smash Bros. or any of the related games.
Chapter Eight
Link's Story
The Missing Link
Master Hand - True, Link is one of Nintendo's greatest characters. False, I give a crap. Let's torture this little pecker by doing the one thing he cannot stand…
(Link walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge.)
Link - You know what I could really go for right now? My…
(Link notices that it's gone and turns around to see DK eat it in one bite.)
Link - Sandwich… -gets nervous twitch in his eye- Monkey! I challenge you to Mortal Kombat!
(The two finally find themselves in a Mortal Kombat arena. DK is using Monkey style (duh!) and Link is using Crazy Bastard. He is doing what most cheesy karate 'masters' do.)
Deep Voice - Fight!
(Link does a random battle cry and lunges at DK. DK begins smashing the ground with his fists and Link lands on a platform above him.)
Link - Well, I'll just drop down now.
(Link looks down and sees that DK is still doing the attack.)
Link - Well, how long can he possibly keep doing that for?
('Three hours later…' pops up.)
Kirby - -in squeaky voice- Five hours later…
(Link in snoring as DK continues the attack.)
Link - No, Zelda… You can't touch me there. Let me take my pants off first… -wakes up- Ohmygod!! It's Ganondorf!! -looks around- Bizarre dream. No more Lon Lon milk before bed. -looks down- Hmmm…
Deep Voice - I grow tired of this.
Link - As do I. Wait! I've got it!
(Link jumps down and lands on DK's head.)
Link - Listen, monkey. Let's settle this mano y… monkey…
Deep Voice - Finish him!
(Link goes to stab DK in the head, but they suddenly appear in Fox's level.)
Link - What the…
(Link notices a few Yoshis float by.)
Link - What the… times two.
Falcon - Look at me Ma! No hands!
(Falcon 'swims between Link and DK.)
Link - What the… to the max. Oh well… This ends here monkey!!
(Link and DK begin circling themselves before lunging forward. Falcon, however, grabs the camera and slams his face into it.)
Falcon - I have a short attention span!!
(Falcon flies to the side as both Link and DK watch him float away.)
Link - Finally. Now where were we. Ah, yes! -lunges at DK-
Master Hand - Back on Earth…
Samus - Okay, let's see… There's me, Ness, Fox, Jigglypuff, and Kirby. Is it just me is most of the group, like, missing?
Ness - -talking like Shaggy- I dunno, fellas! I think we'd better amscray though!
Fox - Never do that again. -phone rings- Hello? What? A monkey-man and elven fruitcake are fighting on the ship? I'm on it! -hangs up- I wonder who that was…
Master Hand - Candy from a baby… Anyways, back in space…
(DK smacks Link off the front of the ship, but Link uses his Hookshot to latch onto the tip of the ship. DK looks over the edge as Link looks up.)
Link - Missed me, loser!
(Charging is heard and Link looks down. The lasers, which are being charged, are aimed at his face.)
Link - I hate life.
Life - And I hate you.
(The lasers are fired and Link is sent crashing into an asteroid that's not to far away. DK does a victory dance, then looks down.)
DK - -thinking- How am I going to get down from here?
Master Hand - Back on Earth…
Fox - Blast off!
(Fox hits the ignition and the ship blows up, sending him flying into the cosmos.)
Samus - Fox? I heard something blow up.
(Samus looks out of the front door and sees the Arwing's debris.)
Samus - Oh well.
(Samus opens a bad labeled 'Link' and pulls out a sandwich.)
Samus - This is going to be one good sandwich.
Master Hand - Enjoy it while you can, for next time, Ness learns of an alien invasion.