Super Sped Bros.
By: Metal Sonic EX
Disclaimer: I don't own Super Smash Bros. or any of the related games.
Chapter Thirteen
Fox's Story
'Do You Have An Appointment?'
Master Hand - Star Fox is a 3-D rail shooter and one of Nintendo's best creations. The problem is that I don't care. So, let's get him fired!
Samus - Mail's here! Let's see. Mario, Mario, Mario. More Mario. Oh, one for Luigi. Hey, Fox. You've got a letter.
(Fox opens the letter.)
Fox - What's this?
(Fox holds up a large cardboard G as Falcon looks around the corner and giggles.)
Fox - What now?
Falcon - G! For… green! Like gopher! Grandpa! Giggle! Bruce Willis!
Fox - Bruce Willis isn't green.
Falcon - No, but he's got a lot of it!
Fox - True. That's like the first time you've… I've been fired!!
(The group huddles and looks over Fox's shoulder.)
Letter - 'Dear Fox, we have voted that no one likes you anymore, You're fired. Have a nice life. Sincerely, No One Who Gives A Crap'
(Fox drops the letter and just gapes.)
Fox - What? No one likes me anymore?
(Fox kicks down the front door.)
Fox - Who doesn't love me?!
(Fox opens his eyes and gulps as he sees a large mob of people holding 'All Fox Lovers Are Crazy' signs.)
Samus - Is it just me or does that spell Aflac?
Fox - Close the door.
(Pikachu closes the door as Falcon points a Bob-omb at Fox's face.)
Falcon - I've got a Bob-omb and I will use it!
Fox - Use it. I've got nothing left.
Mario - Speak for yourself!
(Falcon reaches back and throws the Bob-omb out of the window. The 'AFLAC' mob disappears in a fiery explosion.)
Fox - You idiot! Now they hate me more!
Falcon - No need to thank me.
Fox - Thank you?!
(Fox pulls out his gun, shoots Falcon, and spins the gun around as he replaces it.)
Luigi - Have you thought about doing a western?
Mario - I hear they can pay a lot of money.
(Fox pulls out his gun, shoots the Mario Bros., and spins his gun as he holsters it.)
Samus - They have a point.
(Fox goes to grab his gun, but Samus points her buster at him. Falcon holds up a baseball bat and Ness pulls out a yo-yo.)
Fox - A buster I can understand. A bat I can somewhat understand. But a yo-yo? That's just insulting.
Ness - Meh. I'm a kid. What do you expect?
Fox - A lot more than what you've got. And how are you alive?
Falcon - It's simple physics.
(Mario shoots a fireball and Falcon is knocked backwards. When he lands, the fire goes out and he jumps to his feet.)
Fox - Bizarre. Still, a western movie, huh…
Master Hand - At the Kongo Jungle…
Fox - This is the Old West?
Ness - Technically, we are in the west and this has been here a while.
Fox - Shut up.
Mario - Well, this was the closest to the Old West that we had.
Fox - It works. I guess.
(The room suddenly becomes a wire-frame platform with floating targets.)
Fox - What the?! What do we do now?
Voice - Hit The Targets!
Samus - That.
Fox - -shrugs- Might as well.
(Fox easily shoots all of the targets within seconds.)
Voice - Cheater! Prepare to face my wrath!
(Polygon copies of the group drop down from the sky and begin walking towards them.)
Fox - Child's play!
(Fox sends a polygon copy flying with a single shot. He proceeds to do this for everyone.)
Fox - Oh, I'm good. And I went there. I came. I saw. I blew the crap out of those guys.
(Metal Mario drops from the sky and stands up.)
Mario - Is this supposed to create some kind of paradox?
(Metal Mario looks at them, then begins walking towards them.)
Falcon - Begone, foul creature!
(Falcon hits Metal Mario with a Bob-omb and both of them fly off. While Falcon explodes, Metal Mario quickly drops to his doom.)
Fox - That guy falls like a brick.
(Kirby gets a huffy look.)
Fox - No offense.
(Falcon respawns and looks around.)
Falcon - What's going on?
Ness - Something doesn't feel right.
Samus - Allow me.
(Samus scans Captain Falcon. It reads 'Organic lifeform appears to be suffering from low-class amnesia, brought on by the aftereffects of a caffeine rush.')
Samus - Aftereffects?
(A brief silence follows before everyone begins cheering.)
Master Hand - Mwahahaha! Cheer while you can for next time, I will rise to power!
Ness - Come again?
Master Hand - -clears throat- Ahem. Do you have an appointment?
Mario - Appointment?
Luigi - With who?
(Master Hand laughs and appears as Final Destination takes its' true shape.)
Master Hand - With me!!
Ness - Are you Death?
Master Hand - No.
Fox - Are you my dentist?
Master Hand - No.
Pikachu - Pika pika? (Dr. Suess?)
Master Hand - No! Shut up, all of you! Especially you, you little yellow rat!!
(Pikachu gets a twitch in his eye.)
Master Hand - Twitch while you can for next time, I will rise to power!!