Disclaimer: Man, if I owned Harry, would I still be writing this?!
Chapter 1
Dear Diary,
This feels really weird. I mean, I'm just thinking what I want to say and the quill is moving along by itself. It's freaky. But handy, because my hand won't ache now. I hate to say this, but Jam Potter is not bad at giving presents.
Wait, did I just compliment Potter?!
I think I'm going mad.
Okay... I am going mad.
Aaargh! If this goes on any longer I shall pull out all of my hair and then I'll be bald and I'll have to wear a baseball cap.
I think this diary, this scarlet quill and this bloody bright gold ink is driving me mad.
JAMES POTTER, I HATE YOU!!!
Um... alright, so earlier I had my birthday party. All my Muggle relatives came over, and my best friends Alice Hart and Cherilyn Fanrae came too. They both shared the cost of a makeup set for me. It's lovely... it has countless shades of eyeshadow, with some plain shades and some glittery shades, foundation, blusher, lipsticks, and basically everything I'd need to look like I'm going to meet the Queen or someone like that. Mum and Dad gave me a lovely gold locket, with a curly 'L' engraved on the front, on a necklace. It's still empty, because I'm not sure whose photo to put in it. And guess what Petunia got me? You guessed it - nothing, unless you count a scowl. My Great-Aunt Enid gave me a neon pink sweater that's two sizes two small! She's really awful at giving presents; last year for some reason, she gave me a clockwork Minnie Mouse toy! Is that the sort of present you give a 16-year-old girl?! When I was 14 she gave me a cheap plastic cookery set that she probably won in a Lucky Draw. She needs to take lessons from Potter; last year he sent me a beautiful silver bracelet with real emeralds set in it. I never wore it, but still...
I can't believe I just said that. I hate this Truth Ink! Whatever I think shows up on paper. Next time I see Potter I'll kill him by kissi -
I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST THOUGHT THAT!
I think I'd better stop writing now.
If you click that lovely purple button down there, you get to choose what James Potter would send YOU for your birthday!