Taming The Troublesome

Rating: T

Chapter Three: The Troublesome Woman

Pre-Note: I don't know it any of you noticed, but I've been… sort of ignoring Asuma's death. I'm still coping with it, actually xD. But I thought it would be nice for Shikamaru to have a mentor throughout his tough times, ne?

Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, I tried!

Shikamaru, a boy rarely overtaken by emotion, felt as if the dog of fate that was originally molesting his leg had just bitten it with zeal. He was about to explode.

"Pineapple Head!?!" he spat through gritted teeth.

"What the fuck did you do THAT for?!?"

She kneeled beside his bruised and sore head. "You know, crybaby, I never took you for the rapist type."

He groaned viciously and sat up the best he could. Trying to regain some sliver of dignity, he brushed himself off and rubbed his now even MORE sore shoulder. "That's because I'm not." he retorted rather lamely. He was so pissed off he didn't feel like coming up with yet another over-used quip.

Glaring, he managed to pull himself to his feet. On top of his previous mission's bruises, he now had several ribs that ached like hell, a swollen shoulder, and his head hurt where it had hit the ground. He wiped the blood off the palms of his hands.

"What a lovely way to greet your guide. Do you always push people off of ten foot walls when they've been waiting for you for a prolonged amount of time? So long that they could take a nap?"

Temari returned to her defensive hot-headed demeanor. "That's not really saying much, is it Nara…" It was a question, but wasn't posed as one.

He was doing something generous for her, and, as predicted, here she was making his troublesome life even more so. When all thoughts of his 'mission' evaporated, he pulled himself to his feet shakily.

"It's no wonder you don't have a boyfriend, the second someone lays a hand on you, they find have a kunai lodged in their spine." She scowled.

"At least men are interested in me, Nara."

"On the contrary, I'm quite glad men aren't interested in me."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Or did you?"

"Nara, I don't have time for your petty insults."

"Petty now, are they?"

"…Yes…" she said brokenly.

Shikamaru rather liked this new vocal sparring method. He could press people's buttons by being lazy, and rather than coming up with insults of his own, he could turn their's against them.

"Hm, I think you found it rather offensive."

"I think you're wrong, smartass."

"Then why are you still fighting with me?"

"I WON'T LET YOU WIN, THAT'S WHY."

"Win what?"

"Damnit Nara, take me to my guide!"

"You did not deny my allegations that you are unable to obtain a boyfriend."

She was silent.

"I don't have to prove anything to YOU." She spat.

Shikamaru smirked. He had already won.

"Show me to my guide… NOW." She sure had recovered quick. "I'll tell the Kazekage your village was bad at providing a guide in sufficient time."

Shikamaru scowled and brushed off his butt. "Baka, I AM your guide."

She snorted. "As IF!" she started to laugh. But it was edgy and awkward, like she wasn't sure.

He crossed his arms. "I honestly don't have time for this. Will you just hurry up so we can get your seven-day visa signed?"

"After you take me to my guide."

"Look, I don't exactly enjoy the idea of entertaining you for a week either, but can we hurry up? I would like to get home in time for dinner."

"Mommy still cooks for you, Nara?"

"No, I live on my own, you troublesome woma-" he stopped. Why was it that the sand pain-in-the ass was the only one he called 'woman'?

"I am your guide, so can we go now?"

Temari still didn't believe him. "Maybe my guide is waiting for me in the main office. Take me to get my visa signed, Nara."

"Yes your troublesome highness." He saluted her sarcastically and began to trudge behind the homicidal hormonal Suna tigress."

Why did he have to be her goddamn tamer?

XxxxX

Shikamaru entered to Hokage's office. Jiraiya was in there.

"Oh hello Shikamaru, Miss Temari." She said absentmindedly, nodding to each one.

Jiraiya was standing next to the Hokage's desk with the woman from the pastry shop Shikamaru had visited earlier that morning. The two chuunin being in her office didn't seem to compel her to discontinue her conversation.

"No! Absolutely not, Jiraiya!" she cried. "There is no way I'm going to marry you two!" An exasperated sigh escaped the corner of her mouth. "The poor thing, she looks like you got her drunk out of her mind!"

As some sort of assurance, the girl hiccupped.

"What's your name, sweetie?" she asked the girl. "Enkai maaaaam." She held the 'a' longer than necessary. "Do you want to marry Jiraiya-sama?" she asked.

"Who?"

Tsunade called the servant Shikamaru had been harassing the day before in. "Please find out where she lives and take her home." The man shot a dark look at the Nara boy before escorting Enkai out.

She turned to her former teammate. "You wait outside until I'm done, you hear me, Jiraiya?" He slumped over. "You ruin all my fun Tsun-y."

"Don't call me that." She spat as the infamous pervert-sannin closed the door behind him."

Tsunade's face suddenly turned cheerful- another frightening emotion of the Hokage's to add to his list.

"Sorry about that!" she folded her hands on her desk. "Welcome to Konoha miss Temari. I trust your brother is doing well?"

'It depends on what she means by well…' Temari thought to herself.

"Very, he sends his regards to you, Hokage-sama." She pulled her visa out of her bag. Shikamaru stood at the back of the room and crossed his arms.

'It's amazing she possesses any social tact and manners at all.' He thought to himself as he watched Tsunade sign the visa.

"There you are." The hokage handed Temari a yellow piece of paper. "You're staying in the Konoha visitor's building. Your guide will show you there."

"Oh yes!" Temari remembered. "When will he or she be here?"

Tsunade frowned. "Didn't he show you here?"

Temari shook her head. "No, I thought he would."

"Well why ever didn't he?" Tsunade stared pointedly at Shikamaru.

"I was wondering the same thing myself…" Temari looked a bit aggravated.

"Well, lucky for you, you'll be able to ask him that question personally." She motioned to the corner where Shikamaru was brooding.

'That's funny, I didn't hear anyone come in… Maybe I was distracted. No matter.' Temari thought, turning around. She'd forgive him if he was handsome.

"Why are YOU still here?" she asked with contempt dripping from every syllable.

"Because, you damn troublesome woman, I AM your guide!!"

It was then that Temari realized for a moment she had mistaken Shikamaru Nara for a handsome guide.

XxxxX

Temari felt as though she had lost all will to live. Of course, with no incentive (like he could change her mood! HAH!) whatsoever, Shikamaru reverted back to his normal, lazy-ass bitchy attitude.

Temari moaned. "Did you hear Tsunade laughing? She thinks this is FUNNY" she complained.

"You think that's bad? Frankly, I proffered it when she wasn't so blatant. Damned troublesome lady."

Temari stopped. "Now, wait a second." She paused. "How 'come you call her a troublesome lady, but I'm always a-" she paused, and brought out the dopiest impression of him possible.

"troublesome woman?"

There she went again. Just when he thought maybe he could take her to the Konoha Guest building with no problems…

He rolled his eyes and dug his hands into the loose pockets of his pants. "Why do you care, damned troublesome wo-" he stopped. "female?"He finished, smirking.

"Hope that made you feel special." He remarked sarcastically.

"Very much so, thanks Crybaby Nara."

Shikamaru reflected a moment on what his dad would think if he heard a woman calling a Nara man a crybaby to his face.

They reached the building. "Your room's on the fourth floor. Now leave me alone."

"And stop flirting." He added as an afterthought.

The guests in room 34 were particularly frightened when they heard what sounded like a whole clan of rabid rhinos stomping up the stairs.

XxxxX

Feeling rather triumphant, Shikamaru decided maybe he could get in some cloud watching before the sun set and he had to go back to his apartment. Shikamaru rarely cooked, but he didn't appreciate the idea of having all of Konoha's men asking questions about what Temari was like in bed.

For god's sake, who STARTED these rumors?

Instead of his normal spot, he chose a post-mission spot of the hillside he had been on the day before. Didn't people normally get days off after completing tiresome and not to mention troublesome missions? He closed his eyes and managed to think of nothing for a few minutes. It was just him, and the clouds, and…Temari.

His thoughts were straying in an undesirable direction.

There was once a time when Shikamaru was convinced that hormones were a 'girl' thing. That men didn't feel ridiculous desires, they could control their feelings, and wouldn't have to go through all that extra work to suppress all those damned feelings.

Over the years since he had become the only in his class to graduate the Chuuin Exam, he had learned to hone that skill to his personal male benefit. The first feelings he had ever felt towards a girl was that of his teammate, Ino. He had begun to notice how over the years, she had developed a more womanly figure, and had warm eyes and a round face. As he had told Chouji once, he rather preferred women who were stacked.

And then he met Jiraiya, and forgot all about his feelings for women. He didn't want to turn out like Konoha's best pervert.

As strange, annoying, and troublesome as it was, he had to admit Temari looked more like her age now. What was she now… 19? He had never really visualized her as… a woman. She was not longer just his most annoying sparring partner, or the woman that felt the need to kick his ass on a regular basis.

And that was when he realized why he called her troublesome woman, rather than lady, or girl.

HE had watcher her grow, in the most annoying way (As it often is when you watch someone older than you get smarter). He saw her once a year on a social basis maybe, any more than that and it was just a glimpse in the street as she made her way to the Hokage's office.

But every time he saw her, she was older. Different. Definitely not more mature, but she wasn't a troublesome older girl that picked on him anymore. She was a plain, old, troublesome woman. Perhaps it was subconscious, but he decided this 'troublesome woman' thing had to stop. Eventually, she would catch on and assume … things.

Shikamaru had finally come to the conclusion that men…maybe even more than women… definitely possessed hormones, in the most literal sense.

XxxxX

The rest of the night, Temari couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps that Nara boy had been on to something. Maybe she just automatically went into flirt mode around men.

Because, no matter how much it stung, he was right about her love life (or lack thereof).

The Konoha's Guest building was nice, sort of resembling an apartment-like hotel. It was designed for guests that came to Konoha, like liaisons, traders, and the such. She was happy she just didn't have to pay for it.

But because it was free, there was no food- anywhere. After Temari had unpacked, she was so hungry, it wasn't even funny. She had realized, long ago, that she wasn't built like those skinny little anorexic bitches the men of Konoha seemed to adore so much… like Haruno Sakura… she was built more for fighting, with a womanly figure that still allowed for nice muscle toning. She didn't feel the need to go on a diet and ruin all her finely tuned muscles.

The point was, when the princess of Suna needed food… she needed food!

Temari left the Konoha guest building at sunset, around 6'o'clock and wandered around a bit. Konoha hadn't changed much since she had last been there. All her favorite food stalls were still there. She strayed towards the forest and found a barbecue place. She had never been here before! And barbecue sounded wonderfully hearty at that moment.

She walked inside and got a table for herself. Feeling rather lonely in the four-person booth all by herself, she ordered pork and rice, not feeling like anything else at the moment. When her meat came, she lightly set the strips of meat on the barbecue with her chopsticks.

She sat for what seemed like hours (which in reality was only minutes) watching her meat sizzle, then turning it over to get the other side well done. She leaned over the table feeling sleepy. She really had had a stressful day, what with beating up her alleged rapist, being assigned to the pineapple-headed crybaby Nara, and getting accused of flirting- which she most definitely WASN'T.

There was suddenly a hoarse, yet cheerful voice behind her. "So, have you killed him yet?"

She whipped around, glaring.

Wait a second…

Wasn't that Shikamaru's sensei?

XxxxX END OF CHAPTER XxxxX

Author's Noteh:

Well, here is yet again another chapter of Taming the Troublesome. I fear that the first chapters were so funny, witty, and entertaining that as I get into the plot (which I really have no further plans for, HELPMEH) I'm going to lose readers. Every time I write a chapter, I feel like it gets worse and worse. HOWVER, I don't want to let you down! If you have a suggestion or comment, I reply personally to every review! I apologize if you guys are getting annoyed with side characters constantly poking their way in, but I hope that eventually they can act like mentors for the poor, dysfunctional couple. Also, I'm sorry I'm so slow with the chapter releases. I just have so much schoolwork. I'll keep it to at least one a week if I can. We're going to Idaho for Thanksgiving, so maybe I can get two chapters done then. Heart! Troublesome Natto