Taming The Troublesome
Rating: T
Chapter Six: Ass + Bacon 6
I dunno if anyone notices, but I've been meeting my chapter deadlines this WHOLE TIME. I'm so proud of myself for enduring the torture that is a DEADLINE.
Even though it isn't really…
Shout out to Misa, who would have loved to eat bacon while looking at both Neji and Lee's asses.
Throughout the night, Shikamaru woke up at various, and totally random, times feeling nervous and antsy. The next day, he was supposed to take 'her' to Konoha Academy and take her around. And show that they were teaching some students from Waterfall.
A part he had previously omitted from the story, was that there were some young children that had been smuggled from Waterfall to train. Leaf hadn't done it themselves, Kano's team, Team S, had done it.
Excuses, conversations, scenarios, they all painted themselves in his mind in surprisingly vivid color. Temari, in her new, black kimono, and her bright red obi. How often did she switch outfits anyways?
It wasn't long before his thoughts strayed from the next day all together.
Women often tended to have that affect on him. It was three in the morning before he finally went to bed for good, discarded coffee cups left on the kitchen counter, little brown/gray rings mottling the sickeningly white tile.
His dreams were filled with strange swaths of cloth falling from the sky. He was on his usual hill, just sleeping, with the cloth falling softly on his face and hands.
Only Shikamaru would dream of sleeping.
The next morning, he actually managed to arrive at the Konoha Guest Building on time. Temari was still late. When he walked in, she was running back in forth between the kitchen and bedroom with nothing but a towel on.
There was something fragrant sizzling in the kitchen. Had Temari even noticed his presence? During one of her periods in the room, Shikamaru walked into the kitchen, only to find mouth-watering bacon sizzling. Seeing as Temari was stressed enough, he might as well help her out. Not getting help equaled more stress, which equaled MORE late.
And to think, in a great measure of peace, he was going to make her take him to breakfast.
He took the splatter guard off the pan, and picked some tongs up off the counter. Moving the slices around a bit, he went to the cupboard and looked for some plates. It was several tries before he finally found them over the sink. Taking a paper towel off the roll in the corner, he put it on the plate, and stacked the greasy bacon on a plate.
"Well aren't we just the little connoisseur?"
Temari was leaning against the frame of the door, still in her towel, and full makeup.
"Jesus!" Shikamaru whipped around and some of the bacon almost slid off the plate.
Temari caught it lightly in the palm of her hand.
"Watch it there, Nara."
Shikamaru took the bacon out of her hand defensively.
"Funny how you should be thanking me for finishing our breakfast, when actuality, you're right here insulting me."
"OUR Breakfast?"
"Hey, you're too late at this point to be complaining."
"I stayed up late last night, all right?"
"I was up until three." He countered.
There was a pause.
"What were you –"
"How could you-"
They interrupted each other with the same question.
Shikamaru adopted an embarrassed scowl.
"Just hurry up and eat, so we can go."
"Don't you want me to get dressed?!"
"That's a stupid question."
He said it, yet, he wasn't quite sure in what way he meant it. This was all so troublesome. Why wouldn't she just put on some clothes so they could leave?
"I thought you were going to eat my breakfast." She said, pulling crisp bread out of the toaster.
She must have bought things on her way home last night.
Shikamaru crossed his arms and frowned, in his all too typical way. Shikamaru looked at the bacon on the plate. Its fragrance tickled his nostrils I an enticing sort of way. Oh, how he loved pig.
While Temari ('Still on her towel, of course' Shikamaru noted.) buttered the toast, he grabbed a slice and took a bite. So crisp… so salty… so satisfying. Wow, did he really like bacon that much? Or was his enjoyment due in part to the fact that he couldn't help but eye her ass as he chewed?
Ass? Temari didn't have an ass!
As if!
"I'll do that, you hurry up and change." He mumbled, taking the knife from her.
"Picky, picky, picky." She mocked in a deep sort of voice.
Shikamaru, who had counted down to every second until his voice changed was not amused. He imagined he was spreading the butter all over her face.
… That was more kinky than he had intended …
She came back out fully dressed in her usual crap. Shikamaru had already sat down and was eating.
The next five minutes were spent in silence, only the sound of chewing, crunching, and the occasional sounds of a napkin being disturbed under the table.
And then that time came. The last slice of bacon.
They were both aware who had taken the second-to-last slice, and watched it out of the corners of their eyes.
There it sat, helpless, and cold, petrified like a rock on a plate. Temari stared at it for one long moment before reaching forward. Shikamaru surged forward at the slightest move of her hand, and their fingers clashed painfully at the knuckles in the middle.
Not to be outdone, Temari pulled her limp hand to her chest and reached with the other. Shikamaru copied her. No way was he going to let Temari win.
Both forgetting it was just a slice of bacon sparked a very powerful surge of eye contact, silent, but deadly, as their hands rested over each other's, Shikamaru's on the bottom, touching the bacon the most.
"It was mine. Look, my hand is on it."
"I saw it first!"
"NO, you did not! I've had my eye on it the whole time."
"Your eye AND your hand? As if, Nara."
"It's mine! Get your filthy hand off it!"
"My kitchen!"
"My building!"
"My room!"
"My village!"
"…"
"…"
"I'm a lady, ladies first!"
"I'm your unpaid guide. Payment? This slice will do fine."
"It's not my job to pay you Nara."
"Or IS it?" he smirked.
"No, it isn't." she replied, deadpan.
"You're making me late. This is your fault. My bacon."
"No way! You just came too early."
"I CAME WHEN YOU TOLD ME TO!"
"I told you no such thing."
And then an idea sprung into Temari's mind. She took her hand off his and reached for the front of her kimono. Inserting a hand underneath one of the folds, she began to pull back the dark rim, exposing…
Shikamaru's hand flew off the bacon faster than Naruto could swallow the egg dregs at the bottom of a ramen bowl. Both his hands were permanently glued to his eye sockets, covering them from any disturbing content.
When he realized what she had done, it was too late. The bacon was disappearing behind her lips, her head cocked and her eyes coy.
"Serves you right, you little twerp."
"Stop calling me little…" he mumbled. "Come on, we have to go." He stood up, walking out of the kitchen and to the door.
"Class started an hour ago at Konoha Academy."
"Do you guys wear cute little uniforms?"
"Do YOUR guys?"
"No."
"Then that was a stupid question."
Temari grabbed her mutant fan and they left the building, walking across town. There were two people.
One looked quite amused with herself.
One looked at the other like she was the most troublesome creature ever.
XxxxX
When they arrived, they went through the front door, since all the kids were inside learning how to be hyperactive little Shinobi.
As they passed the main classroom, Temari peeked in and smirked. All the little kids in a college-like setting getting a lecture from their enthusiastic Iruka-Sensei…
"Wow, all these kids are cute." She marveled, fogging up the glass on the door with her muted whisperings.
Shikamaru stopped and looked back.
"What? Oh. Yeh. Come on, hurry up, we're late."
"For what? Aren't you just supposed to show me around? I mean, tell me about what they're learning."
From her leg holster she drew her small notebook again.
"Well, to give you a brief synopsis, children are trained in ninjutsu and taijutsu primarily to a genin level. Any special jutsus, curses, and the like aren't dealed with by Iruka. The hokage can decide what to do with the students in special cases, or their team captains can."
Temari jotted a few notes.
"Nothing illegal? Secret army? Secret Konoha Jutsu?"
"You think if there was one I'd tell you? The Black Ops would have you executed before you left the village, and I'd be exiled."
"I know, just a little something to maybe perhaps dislodge that stick from your ass."
"Didn't work."
"As I can rightly see."
Shikamaru explained more and more about different types of phases and training the genin went through.
"And you know what kind of stuff the Chunin Exams are made of." He added.
That was something Temari would have proffered he didn't talk about. Shikamaru had been the exam proctor for Test #1 the year Temari took and passed the Chunin Exams. It hadn't really seemed to haze him, but it bothered her deeply. That tight-assed little lazy son-of-a-bitch had surpassed her on the most embarrassing of levels. In smarts, perhaps skill, and on top of that, he had helped HER earn the privilege of becoming a Chunin.
"Yeah." She replied, deadpan.
"Are you going to help this year? With the Chunin Exams, I mean." He thrust his hands into his pockets as she went back to looking at the little kids, who were aching for a lunch break.
Sighing, he sat on a bench in the hallway.
"I don't know, depends on what Gaara has me do."
"…" Shikamaru decided to ask her something. "Does it… ever annoy you? I mean, having your younger brother boss you around."
Temari shot him a death glare.
"What does it matter to you?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. It would annoy me."
Silence.
"More than you can imagine." She joined him on the bench.
"I'm older. I think I'm wiser… I've never really had the chance to be a sister to Gaara."
"That wouldn't bother me. The less time with Gaara, the better." Shikamaru was just glad she wasn't asking about those little kids with 'New Shibiki' armbands on.
"Yeah, but…" she took off her fan and leaned it against the wall. "He's my brother, you know? I have to love him – I WANT to love him. But, it's hard when I can't ever get him to talk to me."
The Suna Tigress was suddenly soft and sad. Her mood had switched faster than a traffic light. PMS? Maybe she had needed someone to confide in. Come to think of it, did she even have any friends? Back at Suna? It sure seemed like she had wanted to say this stuff for the longest time.
Shikamaru found it hard to participate. While it was easy to sympathize, it was extremely hard to say he knew. Never having had siblings, he didn't know what it was like to love someone closer to your age.
Or… did he?
"I just want to get through to him. Tell him that if he ever needs me, he can ask."
Another long pause filled the hallway after that comment, the last part of her sentence echoing dully.
"Wow, even for you, Temari, that was really sweet…"
Their eyes met for a fond moment, Shikamaru's face tickled by a small smile.
Temari found herself voluntarily leaning towards him, closing the small space between their faces.
Shikamaru was suddenly nervous, yet eerily calm. All was silence as the Kunoichi –
"AT LAST! LUNCH TIME!"
A little kid burst out of the door, as many more followed, screaming and squealing.
"EEEEEEW!" one cried, "You were gonna KISS her!"
"Oh my gosh! For real?!"
"Yeah, their eyes were closed and everything."
Shikamaru hadn't remembered closing his eyes…
"Were their mouths open?"
"Eeeew, Yuki, you know that's gross!"
"Nuh uh! I bet they're in love."
"Or he's just using her for mindless sex."
"Omaru! Don't talk about things like that in school! Or anywhere for that matter!" The sound of an older man was heard, as he stuck his head out of the classroom.
The two Shinobi were too close to have not been about to do something.
Iruka coughed. "Come along now, children, go have your lunchtime."
Omaru mouthed the word 'sex' to a poor blushing Shikamaru as he walked off with his friends.
"We weren't doing anything! We were just sitting here, and-"
"He's showing me around, and-"
"And we were about to talk to you about-"
"About some stuff!" Temari finished, sliding away from Shikamaru, and falling off the bench.
The rest of that day was turning out to be humorously awkward.
XxxxX
As they left the building, at about 3:00, with all the kids streaming out around them, Shikamaru scowled.
"What did you have to go and do that for?"
"Do what?"
"Kiss me!"
"I didn't kiss you!"
"You ALMOST did!"
"I did not! I was… about to fall asleep!"
"On my face..?"
"…"
"…"
"What's it to yah, Nara?"
"…"
"…"
"I bet you're disappointed I didn't kiss you."
"Whatever." He mumbled, leaving in the direction of his house.
As he walked off, Temari sighed to herself, the last of the kids straggling behind.
"I really wouldn't have minded that much…" she mumbled to herself.
XxxxX END OF CHAPTER XxxxX
Author's Noteh:
I wanted to make them kiss for real so bad. I mean, I must be losing readers by the second, having not had them kissed yet.
However, you may be pleasantly surprised in the next chapter.
I have no clue what to have them to do on Day 3. I have the rest of the days planned but day three.
If you send me a suggestion, I might end up using it .
Thank you so much to all the people who review, I try to reply to every single one. And no thanks to Misa-Danna the Distracter.
HEART!