A/N: Flashbacks are in italics
"Amanda, hand me that glass of water." Olivia instructed, picking up a clean napkin from one of the tables.
Amanda gave Olivia the glass of water she had indicated. Olivia dipped the napkin in the cold water and gently wiped Alex's face, trying anything she could think of to bring Alex back to her. Alex was no longer screaming, but she was still stuck in the past.
"What happened?" Don Cragen asked.
"I have no idea." Olivia replied helplessly, cuddling Alex in her arms, "Alex. Alex, baby, you're just having a memory, sweetheart. I'm right here with you, try to find my voice and come back to me. You're safe, little one."
Alex had tears streaming down her face as her body orgasmed against her will again. She wasn't sure how many men were on top of her, all of them laughing at her as she experienced orgasm after orgasm, confirming their cruel taunts that she was a dirty slut. She screamed again as she felt something shock her, like a cattle prod, but the shock only produced another orgasm, making them laugh more. Someone grabbed her breasts and twisted her nipples painfully while someone else thrust inside of her from behind. Someone slapped her and she saw stars as blood dripped from her lip.
"Hey, Ned, toss me those scissors."
Alex screamed in excruciating pain until her throat was raw and she finally passed out.
Alex suddenly snapped out of her memory and looked around the room in fear, expecting to be back in the warehouse, but instead she was greeted by the chocolate brown eyes of her beloved Mistress and the concerned eyes of all of their friends. Alex blushed in embarrassment when she realized that she'd had a flashback in the middle of the restaurant and was currently on the floor being rocked and cuddled in Olivia's arms. She began to cry as she hid her face in Olivia's chest. Olivia breathed a sigh of relief; those tears were actually a good sign that Alex was coming back from wherever she had just been.
"You're safe, angel. You're safe right here in my arms. It was just a memory. Can you breathe with me, baby? Big breath in; one, two, three, four. Hold it; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. And let it out slowly; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One more time, big breath in; one, two, three, four. Hold it; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. And let it out slowly; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. That's my good girl. Let me see those pretty eyes, baby. You don't need to be embarrassed, sweetheart."
"I'm sorry, Ma'am." Alex whimpered, looking up at Olivia.
"You don't have anything to be sorry about, my love. You just had a memory, that's all. Nobody is going to judge you for it."
"I ruined your birthday." Alex's lower lip trembled.
"You did no such thing, baby girl. Can you tell me what happened just before you had your memory?"
"I heard motorcycles outside. One day at the warehouse, a motorcycle gang showed up and they… they… they took turns…" Alex choked on a sob.
"I'm right here with you, baby. Just breathe. You're safe. No one is ever going to hurt you again. Let's get you home now, you've had enough excitement for one evening."
When they arrived home, Olivia gave Alex a bath and helped her dress in her pajama pants and tank, then Alex sat on the closed toilet seat lid while Olivia took a shower of her own and Alex smoothed lotion on Olivia's legs. With all of that accomplished, Olivia sat down on the couch and lovingly cradled Alex in her arms like an infant.
"Ma'am-"
Olivia gently placed her finger over Alex's lips.
"Shhhhhhhhhhhh. No more talking tonight, little one. It's time to rest now."
Alex was obediently silent, snuggling down into Olivia's arms. She felt Olivia's gentle hand reaching underneath her tank top to soothingly rub her belly, causing Alex to take a big, deep breath and let it out, her body relaxing under the gentle touch. Alex spent the rest of the evening being quietly cuddled as she went in and out of sleep. Each time she woke up, Olivia was still there, cuddling her long into the night.
The next morning, Alex yelped in surprise when she rolled over and fell off of Olivia's lap onto the floor. Olivia startled and winced in pain when she realized they had both fallen asleep on the couch.
"Oh, God, I'm getting too old to fall asleep sitting up. You okay, baby girl?" Olivia gently massaged her sore neck.
"Yes, Ma'am. Oh, my back." Alex moaned, slowly getting up from the floor.
Olivia glanced at her phone with a yawn.
"We overslept, I'm going to be late for work."
"I'll make your coffee to go."
"Good girl. Pain meds are in the cabinet if you need one."
"I'd rather not, I'll just stretch it out and I'll be fine."
Olivia quickly dressed for work and accepted the thermos of coffee Alex gave her.
"Remember, today is my day to work late. I'll be home a little after midnight, but I want you in bed at ten tonight."
"So early?" Alex wrinkled her nose.
"Shall we make it eight?" Olivia raised an eyebrow in warning.
"No, Ma'am. Ten is fine." Alex agreed.
"You don't have to be asleep at ten, but I want you in bed resting at ten o' clock, and no electronics after nine. When I come home, you had better be asleep, and if you're awake for any reason other than an emergency, you'll go over my knee."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Good girl. I love you, baby." Olivia kissed Alex's forehead, nose, and lips.
"I love you too, Ma'am."
"Sorry, I'm late, guys. What have we got?" Olivia walked into the precinct, dropped her things in her office, and joined her detectives in the bullpen, leaning against Kat's desk.
"A dead submissive in Central Park. A woman named Denise Parker."
"Collared?"
"For ten years. Her Master is a guy named Charlie Zahn. Fin and Amanda are on their way now to talk to him."
"Good. Anything else?"
"No other new cases yet. Colton Schneider was released back into his parents' custody this morning."
"I won't hold my breath for that to end well. That boy's mother is a piece of work. All right, carry on. If anyone needs me, you know where to find me."
Olivia walked back into her office and sat down at her desk, powering on her computer. She was in the middle of reading and responding to various emails when her cell phone rang.
"Benson." Olivia pressed her cell phone to her ear.
"M-M-M-Ma'am…" Alex sobbed hysterically.
"What's wrong, baby?" Olivia asked with loving concern when she heard Alex's stutter returning in full force.
"I-I-I-I-I'm… d-d-d-d-down…"
"Take a deep breath, sweetheart. You're okay, you're safe." Olivia assured her.
"N-n-not… s-s-s-safe…" Alex stuttered.
"Why do you not feel safe, little one?"
"I-I-I-I'm… d-d-d-down-downstairs. Th-th-they… a-a-arrested… m-m-m-me." Alex sobbed.
Olivia's mind exploded with this information and she jumped to her feet.
"I'm coming to get you right now, baby girl. Just hang on a few minutes. Everything is going to be okay, I promise."
"Elliot, get Barba on the phone and tell him to get his ass down to the tombs ASAP." Olivia instructed as she ran out of the precinct to the elevator.
"Where is Alexandra Cabot?" Olivia demanded as she stormed up to the officer at the front desk.
"Who?" the officer asked, sounding bored. Olivia angrily flashed her badge in the officer's face.
"Alexandra Cabot. Where is she?"
"Oh, yeah. Over there." the officer nodded in the opposite direction.
Olivia's heart broke when she saw Alex curled up fetal on the floor of her cell sobbing and trembling.
"Open the door now. Why the hell was I not informed that an arrest was being made at my address today? And what the hell is she even under arrest for?"
"I just go where they send me, lady."
"It's Captain Benson, actually. Open the door, I won't tell you again." Olivia growled.
"Geez." the officer rolled his eyes as he unlocked the door.
Olivia hurried into the cell and knelt down beside Alex. She gently touched Alex's shoulder and Alex began to scream in fear, her mind trapped in the past.
"Alex, baby, it's just me. You're safe now, sweetheart, I promise. Look at me, baby. It's okay, my love."
At that moment, Barba arrived.
"What the hell happened?"
"Right now, your guess is as good as mine. She called me, absolutely hysterical saying they arrested her."
Barba cursed under his breath.
"I'll post her bail and when I figure out what happened I'll call you. Take her home."
It took a few minutes, but Alex finally stopped screaming and Olivia was able to gather Alex into her arms to hold her.
"N-n-n-not… m-m-my… f-f-f-fault…" Alex stuttered fearfully.
"None of this is your fault, baby angel. You're a good girl. Look at me, little one. Let me see those pretty eyes."
Alex looked up at Olivia fearfully. Olivia placed Alex's hand on her own chest and placed her hand gently on Alex's belly.
"Such a good girl. Just breathe, baby. Try to make your heartbeat feel like mine. Take a big, deep breath; one, two, three, four. And hold it; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. And let it out slowly; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. That's my good girl."
Olivia got a cab and held Alex in her arms on the ride back to their apartment. When they arrived home, Olivia put Alex in the tub for a warm, soothing bath and dressed her in a pair of cozy pajamas. Then Olivia sat on the couch and cuddled Alex on her lap.
"M-M-M-Ma'am… h-h-hold… t-t-t-tight…" Alex whimpered.
"I've got you, honey. You're safe right here in my arms. You're a good girl." Olivia gently rocked Alex in her arms.
"N-n-n-no… t-t-t-tickles… n-n-n-now…" Alex whimpered when she felt Olivia reaching underneath her pajama top.
"I'm not going to, baby, I promise. I was just going to rub your belly for you. Would you like that?" Olivia said kindly.
Alex nodded on Olivia's shoulder and melted into the much-needed skin-to-skin contact as Olivia gently rubbed her belly.
"That's it, you just rest now, angel. You're safe and sound right here in my arms in our house. I won't let anything happen to you."
Alex eventually cried herself to sleep in Olivia's arms. Olivia's cell phone rang and she answered it immediately to keep the noise from disturbing Alex.
"Benson."
"How is she?" Barba's voice came over the line.
"She's sleeping. She cried herself to sleep in my arms." Olivia looked down at her sleeping submissive.
"I figured out what happened. The day Alex was rescued, do you remember rescuing a set of twins from the warehouse."
"Oh, yeah. A brother and sister, I think." Olivia tried to think back.
"The boy saw Alex's picture in an old newspaper and is accusing her of being one of a group of people who beat him within an inch of his life while he was imprisoned at the warehouse. Buchanan is his lawyer. According to what I was told, two cops showed up at your place earlier today and Alex made the mistake of stepping outside the apartment to talk to them, and they arrested her. Said she never stopped screaming for you until they locked her in that cell, then she got quiet and curled up on the floor."
Olivia groaned and rolled her eyes.
"Alex was a prisoner there too. If she hurt anyone, then obviously it was under duress. Nothing that happened there was her fault. Buchanan knows that."
"And yet Alex is still being charged with battery and assault with a deadly weapon. Don't worry, I'll be her lawyer for this too. The judge will drop the charges faster than you can blink." Barba said confidently.
"Well, you can tell the arresting officers that they just undid weeks of progress in one morning. She's stuttering again."
"She's back to one-word sentences?" Barba asked with concern.
"Not yet, thank God. So far she's still talking in full sentences, but if she gets put through any more stress I'm afraid she might go completely mute this time."
"You just focus on taking care of her, let me worry about everything else."
"Thanks."
Olivia hung up the phone from Barba and dialed another number.
"Stabler." Elliot's voice came over the line.
"Hey, it's me. I brought Alex home and I'm leaving you in charge at work until further notice. She's stuttering again, she needs me home with her."
"No worries, Captain. We'll still be here when you get back."
Olivia hung up the phone and continued to cuddle her sleeping submissive on her lap until Alex began to twitch in her sleep.
"No… no… no…" Alex mumbled in her sleep.
"It's just a dream, sweetie, you're safe." Olivia cooed, gently rubbing Alex's belly.
"N-no… d-d-don't… h-h-hurts…" Alex whimpered.
"No one will ever hurt you again, princess, I promise." Olivia cooed.
Alex suddenly screamed as her eyes snapped open, gazing fearfully around the room until they landed on her beloved Mistress.
"I'm here, my love. I'm right here. Look at me, my beauty. You're safe, baby."
Alex began to sob deeply as she buried her face on Olivia's chest, clinging to her beloved Mistress for dear life.
"There, there. You're safe, little one." Olivia cooed, gently rocking the sobbing blonde and lovingly rubbing Alex's bottom to soothe her.
"N-n-n-never… s-s-safe… a-a-a-again…" Alex sobbed.
Feeling helpless, Olivia picked up her cell phone and dialed a number.
"Dr. Lindstrom's office, please." Olivia spoke into the phone.
Alex began to scream bloody murder. She heard the word 'doctor' and in her fragile, confused mind that meant that Olivia was finally going to get rid of her. Alex had been waiting for this day to come and now it was finally here. Olivia had finally had enough and was sending her away.