A/N: Flashbacks are in italics.
"You're safe, little one. I'm right here with you." Olivia soothed lovingly, holding Alex's hand securely in her own as they approached the familiar building.
"I d-d-d-don't… th-th-think… I-I-I… c-can… d-d-do… th-this… M-M-M-Ma'am. P-p-p-please… d-don't… m-m-m-make… m-me." Alex stopped walking and looked up at the courthouse with a strange mixture of fear and affection.
They made a u-turn and Olivia led Alex over to an empty bench.
"Come sit down and let's just breathe together, sweetheart. Take a big, deep breath; one, two, three, four. And hold it; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. And let it out slowly; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One more time, take in a big, deep breath; one, two, three, four. And hold it; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. And let it out slowly; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. That's my good girl. We have plenty of time, baby, we don't have to go inside for another half hour. Remember what we talked about, we're just practicing today. Barba wants to meet with you to talk about what is going to happen and get you prepared, that's all. It's just going to be you, me, and Barba in there today, nobody else. No judge, no jury, no Buchanan, just the three of us."
"I-I-I'm… t-t-talk-talking… f-f-funny… a-a-again." Alex frowned.
"You have a beautiful voice, sweetheart. And more importantly, you have a powerful voice. All you have to do is tell the truth. Barba isn't going to judge you for stuttering. And since we're just practicing today, Barba said it's okay to bring Justice with you to cuddle with." Olivia indicated the stuffed cat in Alex's arms.
"W-W-Will… y-y-y-you… h-hold… m-m-me?" Alex pleaded.
"I'm afraid I can't hold you on the stand, my love, you have to be my brave girl and go up there by yourself. But I promise as soon as we're done I'll take you home and I'll hold you for the rest of the day if that's what you want."
"C-c-can… y-you… h-h-h-hold… m-me… n-n-now? J-J-Just… f-for… a f-f-few… m-m-min-minutes?"
"Of course. Come here, angel." Olivia agreed and gathered Alex into her arms to hold her close, gently rubbing Alex's back.
About ten minutes of peaceful silence passed and then Alex lifted her head from Olivia's shoulder.
"I c-c-can… d-do… i-it… n-n-n-now… M-M-Ma'am."
"That's my good girl." Olivia praised lovingly, and Alex beamed.
"Good morning, ladies. I'm sorry to drag you out at this hour, but my schedule is packed for the rest of today and tomorrow, and this is too important to wait until next week." Barba met them in the hallway, carrying his briefcase, and walked with them to the elevator. He reached out to push the button, but Olivia took his hand to stop him.
"You push the button whenever you're ready, baby girl." Olivia looked at Alex.
Alex looked at the elevator button fearfully, as if it might come alive at any moment and bite her. After a few seconds, she took a deep breath and hesitantly pushed the button with a trembling finger.
"That's my good girl."
They stepped inside the elevator and, again, Olivia put Alex in charge of pushing the button for the correct floor. Barba recognized that Olivia was in full Mistress mode and just let her do what needed to be done to guide Alex through the day. The threesome walked down a series of hallways until they reached their destination and walked inside the empty courtroom. Alex glanced around; one courtroom looked much like every other courtroom, there was nothing particularly special about this one except for the fact that this time, Alex was on the list of people being charged. Unfortunately, Barba had not been successful in getting the charges against Alex dropped, so she would have to defend herself in court. Too soon for Alex's liking, Barba instructed her to sit in the witness chair. With Justice clutched tightly in her arms, Alex made her way up to the stand and sat down. She looked over at Olivia sitting in the gallery and relaxed a little bit when Olivia gave her an encouraging wink.
"Miss Cabot, you are hereby charged with battery and assault with a deadly weapon. Can you please tell the jury what happened on the afternoon of the day in question?" Barba asked.
"I… um… I-I… w-was… s-s-slee-sleeping… in… th-the… r-r-room… I… w-was… l-l-locked… in… a-and… a m-m-man… c-c-came… in… a-and… t-t-t-took… m-m-me… t-t-to… an-an-another…" Alex stopped and groaned in frustration.
"Just take your time, Alex. You're doing well." Barba encouraged.
"H-He… t-t-t-took… m-m-me… in-into… an-an-another… r-r-room… w-wh-wh-where… th-there… w-w-was… a c-c-cr-cr-crowd… of p-p-p-people… a-a-around… a y-y-young… b-b-b-boy. He g-g-gave… m-me… a c-c-c-cr-cr-crow-crowbar… a-and… s-s-said…" Alex stopped again and started to cry.
Olivia sat in the gallery watching and struggling to resist every fiber in her being that was screaming at her to run up and wrap Alex in her arms to protect her. Barba had warned her that Alex needed to practice sitting in the witness stand by herself with no source of comfort. Olivia had been able to talk him into letting Alex have Justice with her for this one practice session, but Olivia was not allowed to interfere until Barba decided they were done practicing. From where she sat in the gallery, Olivia gave Barba her best Detective Benson glare, and he pretended not to notice it.
"Were you the only one who had a weapon?" Barba asked.
"N-n-no." Alex wept.
"Get up, slut."
Alex whimpered in pain as she was yanked to her feet by her hair. Her feet hurt as she tried to keep up with the man dragging her out of her room and into another part of the warehouse. Alex was confused when she saw a small crowd of people gathered around what appeared to be a young boy chained to the wall, all of them holding various objects; baseball bats, whips, crops, and even a hatchet. Off to the side, another man stood holding a gun.
"This boy was caught trying to escape. He needs to learn a lesson. When I give the order, whatever you decide to do to him is between you and whatever higher power you believe in. If anyone refuses to cooperate and do as they're told, it will be the last decision you ever make."
The boy screamed in fear and pain as the crowd approached and began to beat and torture him. Someone put a crowbar in Alex's hands and she stared at it for several long seconds before someone shoved her forward and barked at her to do as she was told or pay the consequences. A shot rang out and a woman fell to the floor, the first to die for refusing to cooperate.
"How long did his beating last?" Barba inquired, pulling Alex out of her memories.
"It… s-s-seemed… l-l-like… h-h-h-hours."
"How many people died for refusing to participate in his beating?"
"F-f-f-four."
Barba patiently guided Alex through the rest of the session until he was satisfied that they had practiced enough for one day. Alex had tears streaming down her face as she ran down from the witness stand and straight into Olivia's waiting arms.
"Oh, such a good girl. I'm so proud of you, baby, you did so well." Olivia praised lovingly, cuddling Alex close to her heart.
"M-M-M-Ma'am… h-h-h-home… p-p-please… h-h-home…" Alex pleaded through her sobs.
"Yes, angel, we can go home now. On the way we'll stop and get you a frozen chocolate custard. My good girl deserves a reward." Olivia cooed lovingly.
"I'm sorry if I upset you, Alex, but Olivia is right, you did really well today. I'll leave you alone for a few days and we'll meet again one day next week." Barba said kindly.
Alex whimpered and buried her face on Olivia's shoulder.
"No, no, little one. We use our manners and say goodbye properly. Barba isn't the bad guy here." Olivia chided gently, tenderly rubbing Alex's back.
"G-G-G-Good-Goodbye." Alex looked up at Barba, still clinging tightly to her Mistress.
"That's my good girl. Come along now, let's get you that reward and go home."
When they arrived home, Alex ate her custard wrapped in the safety of Olivia's arms and then snuggled down in Olivia's arms to be cuddled for a long while.
"That's my good, sweet baby." Olivia cooed lovingly, gently stroking Alex's long blonde hair as she gently rocked Alex in her arms.
Olivia held and cuddled Alex until it was time to leave for Alex's therapy session with Dr. Lindstrom.
"You get to choose, sweetheart, do you want me to go in with you or do you want to go in by yourself?" Olivia asked kindly. Alex always wanted Olivia to go in and sit with her while she was having her session with Dr. Lindstrom, but Olivia still always offered the option of letting Alex go in by herself if she wanted to.
"Good afternoon, ladies. Have a seat, make yourselves comfortable, and I'll be right with you." Dr. Lindstrom smiled from where he sat at his desk.
Olivia and Alex took their usual place on the couch with Alex cuddled safely in Olivia's arms. While they waited for Dr. Lindstrom to join them, Alex laid her head on Olivia's shoulder and Olivia gently kissed Alex's temple and rubbed her bottom.
"Such a good girl." Olivia cooed in Alex's ear, and Alex offered a tiny smile.
Olivia stayed quiet and just held Alex securely in her arms while Alex and Dr. Lindstrom did all of the talking and Alex poured her heart out to him, expressing her fears, desires, and hopes. She told Dr. Lindstrom about the upcoming trial and her fears surrounding it.
"I-I-I'm… j-j-just… s-so… s-s-sc-scared… th-th-they'll… f-f-find… m-me… g-g-g-guilty… and… I'll… b-b-be… l-l-l-locked… up… f-f-fo-for-forever. I c-c-can't… be… l-locked… in a… c-c-cage… a-a-again… I'll… g-g-g-go… c-c-cr-c-cr-crazy." Alex choked out as her lower lip trembled.
"You know how the justice system works, Alex, I recommend you have faith in it. Lady Justice may be blind, but she's not entirely heartless. You were every bit as much of a victim as that boy was and you can't blame yourself for anything that happened." Dr. Lindstrom said kindly.
"B-B-B-But… I… h-h-hurt… h-h-him. I… b-b-beat… h-him. H-He… w-w-was… so… y-y-y-y-young… a-a-and… I j-j-j-just…" Alex began to cry.
"You did what you had to do to stay alive, Alex. There's no shame in that. Every single one of you who took part in that event were prisoners acting against your will."
"I-I-I'm… j-j-j-just… e-e-evil. I-I-I… u-u-used… to… p-p-p-put… p-p-people… l-like… m-m-me… a-a-away… a-and… n-n-now… I-I'm… o-o-one… of… th-th-them!" Alex sobbed.
Alex's session continued in much the same fashion as it always did and then Olivia and Alex got up to leave. Dr. Lindstrom kindly handed Alex a tissue to wipe her eyes.
"You did great work today, Alex. I'll see you next week." Dr. Lindstrom said kindly.
When they returned home, Alex's eyes were finally dry as she followed Olivia into the apartment.
"M-M-Ma'am?" Alex asked hesitantly.
"Yes, baby?" Olivia asked as she kicked her shoes off.
"A-a-are… y-y-y-you… g-g-go-going… to… w-w-wash… m-m-my… m-m-m-mouth… o-out… w-w-with… s-s-so-soap?" Alex asked sadly.
Olivia carefully considered this question, trying to find the right balance between consistency and compassion, and reluctantly decided that the best way to show compassion in this situation was to be consistent.
"Yes, baby, I am. Do you know what rule you broke?"
"I… c-c-call-called… m-m-myself… e-e-evil." Alex replied.
"That's right. And what is the consequence for tearing yourself down?"
"A… m-m-mouth-m-mouthsoaping… a-and… f-f-f-fifteen… m-m-minutes… in… th-the… c-c-c-corner."
Alex didn't make any fuss as Olivia led her into the bathroom and spent several minutes scrubbing her mouth with soap and then put her in the corner with the bar of soap in her mouth. After the allotted fifteen minutes, Olivia released Alex from the corner and let her rinse her mouth with water and then held Alex on her lap while the blonde sobbed on her shoulder and apologized profusely, swearing up and down to be a good girl.
"It's over, sweetheart, I know you're sorry. I'm not angry with you, it's all over and forgiven. You will always be my good girl." Olivia soothed, tenderly cuddling her sobbing submissive in her arms until Alex finally cried herself out and fell asleep.
The next few days passed peacefully enough until one day Olivia arrived home early from work and grew concerned when Alex did not greet her at the door like she always did. Thinking that maybe Alex was napping, Olivia kicked her shoes off, put her badge and gun away, and walked to the bedroom to change her clothes. As Olivia approached the bedroom, she heard noises coming from the bedroom and hoped that Alex wasn't stuck in another flashback.
"What are you doing, little girl?" Olivia scolded sternly with her hands on her hips.
Startled by Olivia's unexpected arrival, Alex looked up like a deer caught in headlights and her pretty face blushed, embarrassed at being caught in her current position, lying naked on the bed pleasuring herself to orgasm.
"M-M-Ma'am! I-I-I-I…" Alex stuttered.
"Sit up properly and answer me. And that's mine now." Olivia took the vibrator out of Alex's hand and switched it off.
Alex whimpered as the pleasure she had been feeling disappeared and was replaced by a sense of dread, knowing that she had been caught breaking the rules. She turned around and sat up properly, but she wasn't sure what to say, so she stayed silent.
"Okay, if you aren't ready to talk to me, then you can get your naughty bottom into that corner and stay there while I take a shower. Go." Olivia pulled Alex up from the bed by her arm and gave her bottom three sharp pops to get her moving in the right direction.
Alex winced and ran to the corner, putting her hands on her head. Olivia disappeared into the bathroom to take a shower. Alex heard the water turn on and she began to cry.
Olivia took her time in the shower, letting the warm water wash away the stress from the long day at work. When she was finished she slipped into her robe and went back out to the bedroom and sat on the bed.
"Come here, little girl."
With tears streaming down her pretty face, Alex turned from the corner and dropped to her knees at Olivia's feet, assuming the position they called 'apology'.
"Yes, I'm sure you are sorry, little girl, I'm going to make sure of that. Kneel up now."
Alex obediently got up and knelt at Olivia's feet. Olivia handed her the familiar bottle of lotion and Alex obediently smoothed lotion onto Olivia's long legs the way she always did after Olivia's shower. All was silent as Alex smoothed the lotion on Olivia's legs and could practically feel Olivia's stern eyes staring at her.