Probably one of the more silly vignettes I'll offer, but the truth is that I did experience a forty-five minute discussion on the same topic. And it got pretty heated.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"You're going to love the faculty meeting, Mrs. Lupin," Severus Snape said dryly. He led the way through the twisting halls of Hogwarts, Tonks in tow. "It's a most riveting portion of the teaching experience and I highly recommend you attend."

Aren't I supposed to attend? Tonks thought as she tried her best to keep up with Snape. Her third day, and she was already expected to attend a faculty meeting. With one of her husband's old enemies hovering over her. Well, she was already working with the man. Awkward. "And you enjoy these?"

"We don't get any say in whether we are allowed to enjoy them or not," Snape replied in a voice that at least allowed some pent-up passion into the continuing monotone. "You just go and you love them."

That didn't make any sense. "How can you love them and not enjoy them?"

Severus gave one of his rare, grim smiles as he stopped at a classroom. "No one knows for sure."

"What does it mean to love attending faculty meetings?"

"I don't know, and I wish you would stop asking me such silly and time-wasting questions, for I fail to see just how any possible answers would affect your student teaching experience."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "So far I haven't learned much of anything except that you yell just as much as I remember and that half of the first-years are afraid of everything." Three had cried that very morning, practically demanding that she stand up and take charge of the class, no cares at all to Professor Snape as he screamed at that them. Then again, she had no idea what she would do in that place. Classroom management. Oh, the mysteries of classroom management.

"Mrs. Lupin, I suggest you learn soon that first-years are not human. They are baby humans. It is a completely different category." He stepped inside the classroom, holding the door open for her, a minor gesture of chivalry she snidely took advantage of. He had a point about the first years.

"Do you even like students, Severus?" she asked.

He frowned thoughtfully. "If I didn't like children, why am I a teacher?"

"Because despite the fact that you killed Albus Dumbledore and spent half a year in hiding from the hatred of everyone remotely connected to Hogwarts, you actually dared return to ask for your job back and actually managed to get it--so I doubt anyone else would hire you," she retorted. Amazing how a few years could allow her to say things so calmly.

Severus flinched visibly. "I thought I already explained all of that. It was--"

"Arranged," she finished for him. "I know. Now explain to me why we are meeting in this classroom." Tonks found herself standing in a classroom she had never seen before.

"The alchemy room," Severus explained. "We all ignore it. Unless we use it for a faculty meeting. And yes, before you ask me the obvious, we are supposed to sit in the students' desks."

Tonks sighed. Remus was going to love hearing about this. Already most of the staff was seated, chatting mildly and looking around while McGonagall, standing proudly in the front, shuffled parchment. She pulled up a seat next to Hermione, who had her head down on the desk and was muttering something about hating Divination and name tags. Severus sat down behind her and said something about hating his life.

Well, Tonks was going to be positive about this. Faculty meetings were a way for teachers to bond and connect, to share ideas and concerns, to grow and learn from each other, to connect and build curriculum! This was the moment of inspiration she needed to continue this semester!

McGonagall cleared her throat as the rest of the teachers sidled in. "Late again. Not good. Our first topic of discussion is..." She adjusted her glasses and coughed with importance.

"She's become so snooty since she became headmistress," Professor Vector muttered.

"... a microwave for the teachers' lounge."

Hermione sat up and stared at McGonagall in disbelief.

Tonks laughed, then realized that no one else was joining her. In truth, they all had sudden interest.

At least Severus sighed. "I hate to point out the obvious, but don't we already have one?"

Several other teachers nodded in agreement.

"Albeit that one doesn't nearly suit the mindless war every lunch break," he continued with a snarl.

More nods, shakes of heads, and whispers.

Tonks and Hermione exchanged horrified expressions.

"We need a second one," said Firenze. "It would make life so much easier."

"On what?" Hermione whispered.

Tonks nodded. "They can't possibly work here. Can they?"

"No! Nothing like that can work on Hogwarts ground?"

"As a reminder, we did petition for one approximately seven months and eighteen days ago," said Professor Binns. "But the motion was shot down."

Tonks buried her head in her arms, giggling. This could not be happening.

Then came the sound of Hermione's voice. "Um, excuse me, but does the microwave in there now even work?"

Silence.

"That's entirely besides the point," said Professor Sinistra after several long moments.

"It works if you put the food in and cast a heating charm," Professor Flitwick commented.

More whispers. Oh, but the discussion was getting really heated now.

"But I would really like to discuss a curriculum map." Hermione, again. Tonks shot a glance at her from under her arms. Maybe she should be more adamant about a decent meeting. Well, get this out of the way and there might be something important.

"Of course," McGonagall replied. "We need to set an example for the student teachers."

Good.

"All in favor of the second microwave, please raise your hands."

Tonks almost choked on another laugh.

Behind her, Severus sighed and began drumming his fingers on the desk.

It was a draw.

"We'll discuss the microwave at the next meeting," McGonagall said shortly. Thank goodness she was irritated as well. "I would next like to review our grade policies. Professor Flitwick, do you have the reports on that?"

Flitwick stood up. "I really think we should finish the microwave discussion."

This time, Hermione burst out laughing as well. The entire faculty turned to stare at the new student teachers.

But the microwaves wouldn't work.

Remus was never going to believe this.