Chapter 9 - The Wrong Sketchbook

It had taken James just short of a week before he came back from his little driving trip. He managed to get in very late; when he walked through the doors from the garage, there wasn't anyone up and about as he made his way to the stairs. He tossed his keys on the counter on the way through and tiptoed up the stairs — not that he needed to worry about waking anyone. Most of the house slept like the dead, and he didn't need to even try to sneak by his parents, since he'd moved down the hall from the family suite. It was a relief to drop into his own bed, and he passed out almost as soon as he hit the pillow.

The next morning, though … when he opened his eyes, he swore to himself as he remembered he'd told Kari that he'd find her when he got back. But considering that it was nearly noon and there was no way to downplay the fact that he'd just … made a beeline for his bed …

It was definitely cause to make some fresh coffee first. He got a cup for himself and poured one for her before he headed to her studio, where he was sure she'd be busy at work. But when he got there … she was passed out cold with a paintbrush still in her hand, slumped over her desk where she had fallen asleep.

He tipped his head to the side and moved the dried-out palette before he set the coffee down near where her head was and then took a seat against the wall and waited.

She started to wake up at the smell of the coffee, which had him smirking to himself as she blinked at the mug like she was trying to figure out how it got there. Then, she turned and saw him and let out a squeak of surprise. She teleported over to him with a smile and wrapped him up in a hug. "When did you get here?"

"Really, really early this morning … or very late last night. Depending on how you live your life."

Kari shook her head at him. "Well, you've missed a lot. My brother is dating the pretty little Summers, your sister is dating the mini Stark, Zoe's sexually assaulting Cody in the hallways, according to the bamfs…"

He smirked at that and nodded once as he drew in a deep breath. "Sounds about right. Just gotta leave for a few minutes before anything happens. I should leave more often."

"You should not," Kari said, rolling her eyes at him.

"I disagree," he replied loftily before he raised his mug for a drink. "Respectfully."

"That's right respectfully," she laughed, stooping to pick up the mug where she left it and then smiling. "Ooh, you brought back my favorite creamer."

"Ah … it was in the fridge. Someone else must have done the hard part."

"Must have been Mom, then," Kari said. "She was in town all day yesterday at the company."

He leaned his head back against the wall and let out a breath. "I think I'm going to spend more time at the tower."

"So you can murder Howard if he steps out of line?"

He shook his head. "No. So I can see if I'd rather be on the other team."

"Huh." She tipped her head to the side. "Well, alright. You'd be an amazing Avenger too."

"Figure that way, if someone gets another hard hit on me, there might be an uproar about it," he said with a shrug. "Or … when."

"That's really not a good enough reason to switch teams," Kari said. "Tell me you want to be on a team with Natasha and Steve and tease them mercilessly. Tell me you want to keep Zoe on her toes or mess with Eleanor. But don't just… that's not a good enough reason."

He turned her way with a raised eyebrow. "I'll put that under consideration after you join up." James pulled his feet up so he could rest his arms on his knees. "I don't think I'm helping the team much. Overall."

"I thought you were helping Chloe transition to be the leader," she said. "That's what Kaleb says."

"She's got it covered," James said.

"Well, he and Chloe adore you," Kari said. She couldn't help but add in a teasing tone, "And when Chance and Elin join the senior squad, who's going to keep them in line?"

"See … babysitter isn't much of a title, really."

Kari laughed and shook her head. "I'm not saying you have to stay. I just don't want you to join the Avengers 'because someone will shoot me'."

"No, I'm gonna get shot again anyhow," he said. "This would at least end with a pissed off Cap and Stark snarling for change. Which … would give more weight to it." He pointed a finger her way. "Especially if the next time, it's one of Stark's toys that they use to hit me … which is likely sooner or later."

"Well, that makes sense. I just don't want you to think you're a crash test dummy," she said, then leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You're my best friend in the world."

"I am a crash test dummy," he said, one eye closed. "Or a solid moving target. Something." He shrugged. "Doesn't matter, I guess."

"Well, for what it's worth, I think you'd be an amazing Avenger," she said. "And it's not like you'd have to quit the team entirely," she added. "I mean, Chance, Hank, your dad… they've done the dual team thing."

"Yeah, that's kind of what started it. Dad said he's putting me in for rotation, and Tony's already making plans."

"That's great!" Kari said. "You can tell Uncle Clint to come by more often. He's retired. We should see him more."

"Yeah, you'd think with all his kids grown and sucking face all over the place that he'd have more time to do things other than play video games."

Kari snickered at that. "Well, Nikki doesn't have anyone, as far as I know. Last I heard, Mom went over to double team him for making out with some agent because he overheard Coulson saying the guy might be a spy."

"Well, was he?"

"Yes and also trying to get in a teenager's pants," Kari pointed out, baring her teeth with pure disdain. "But I don't think he's actually dated anyone for real."

"That you know of," James said pointedly before he frowned at his mug. "What about you? What's the story with the tour? Any more ardent admirers sending you mysterious gifts? That was fun."

Kari smiled at that. "I do get a lot of flowers, actually," she admitted. "But … no, no one worth a second date yet."

"I had a few girls getting overly friendly on my trip," he said, shrugging. "Should have gone north instead, I guess."

Kari made a face. "Ugh. I'm sorry. I had someone grab my tail, but thankfully that was the worst of the handsiness."

"I'm a little surprised at how bold some of them are," James admitted.

"Yeah, you sort of blew your scary side with Alyssa," she said. "Sorry."

He let out a little breath. "That's okay. It also blew the whole Death thing out of the water. Which was pretty … nice." He gave her a little smirk. "Takin' bets on when the press will switch to snarls?"

"I think it depends on if you or your dad get to Howard in public or private," she teased. "You know it'll happen sooner or later."

"Private for sure," James said, nodding.

"I don't know. You could lose your temper if you're out and he's particularly stupid…"

"I'm getting better about that," James promised.

Kari nodded and then set her mug aside. "Honestly, though? I think Howard is going to be alright with her. Jokes aside, even Kaleb had to admit he's not as bad as his dad."

"He already knows I'll skin him alive if he hurts her," James said.

Kari nodded. "So, was your mystery tour just because you're worried you'll break Scott when you tell him you want to be an Avenger?" she teased.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I really did just need to think about where I was headed. And that's a lot easier to do alone."

"Then I'm glad to see you back," she said, resting her hand on his arm. "And I hope you won't live in the tower if you're going to do both teams. I like having my photographer on site."

"You haven't even tried to shoot for yourself, have you?" He bumped her with his shoulder. "Come on. At least try."

"But you do it so well," she insisted, her eyes wide. "And to be honest, you capture everything so perfectly that, with how many paintings I'm doing, when would I have time to get to that level?"

"Between gallery openings and champagne with your patrons. Obviously."

"Oh, obviously," she agreed with a laugh. "But maybe I should take it up. Avengers, X-Men — you'll be so busy you'll hardly have time for Alyssa, let alone me."

"Ah. I'm really not her problem anymore, so that's one off the list."

Kari's eyebrows shot up as she spun to face him better. "Oh, James, I'm sorry!" she said, one hand covering her mouth. "I didn't know!"

"It's fine," he said, shaking his head lightly. "It was a long time coming."

"I really liked her, too," Kari said with a sigh, dropping her hand away from her mouth and letting her shoulders fall completely. "You seemed so happy." She paused. "Please don't tell me you're joining the Avengers out of heartbreak, or I'm going to have to hit you."

"Ugh. No. All discussions about the Avengers took place before that happened," he said, shaking his head with a frown. "I didn't tell her about it because she was so stressed out."

"Well, I'm still really sorry. Breakups are hard, even if it wasn't a total disaster," she said, pulling her arms around his arm in a little snuggle-hug.

He tipped his head her way until he was leaning on her. "Yeah. It's a lot of fun to hear the trouble is the job. Not everything else. Too bad I can't stand to be in a lab or something with a lower casualty rate."

"I'm so sorry, James," she said, sounding every inch as upset as it was possible to be.

"Forget it," he told her with half of a smirk. "We were warned about this kind of thing."

She nodded. "Not everyone can handle it," she said.

"Pretty sure most can't," he amended.

"You'll find someone who can," Kari promised. "I don't know when, but you will, and I have to be in the wedding, okay?"

"If that ever happens, you mean," James said, tipping his head to meet her gaze. "Which … I think at this rate, it'd be better for me not to date. At all."

"That's completely wrong," Kari said with a sniff. "Your parents are madly in love, Chance and Elin are adorable — what makes you think you won't find something like that?"

"My luck swings hard both ways," he said with a crooked smile. "The whiplash is killing me."

"Well, don't let it," she said with a smirk.

"I am trying," he promised. "And honestly wondering how long before the breakup becomes public. Ish."

"Well," Kari said with a sigh, "you were out and about without her. But that's not necessarily proof positive that you broke up, just that you were in the neighborhood."

"I didn't say anything to anyone," James said. "And there have been plenty of pushy girls making friendly no matter who or if I'm dating. I'm surprised that Chloe wasn't complaining about it more, honestly. It happens everywhere."

"Complaining about your super attractiveness?" she teased.

He snickered at that. "I'm not sure that's applicable? But you're a sweetheart to try and perk me up."

"Hey, anytime," she said, giving him another kiss on the cheek. "If you need the reminder, I'll just pull out some old sketches and paintings of you."

"Oh, those ugly old things. No one wants to see that."

"I am so insulted!" Kari said, drawing herself up dramatically. "I'm an artist. They're lovely."

"Yep. And you picked some ugly subject matter." He leaned her way and dropped his voice lower. "Happens to everyone sometimes."

She hit him in the chest and shook her head. "You just — just — wait right there," she said, teleporting across the room to where her sketchbook was so she could shove it at him. "Look through it and tell me I have a problem with my subject material."

He gave her a look and traded her the book for the cup in his hands. "If this is going to take a while, I'm going to need more coffee. I didn't sleep for beans on that trip."

"Then I will get it," she promised, teleporting off with both of their mugs to refill them.

James shook his head at her and cracked open the book to find page after page of gestures and line studies … Cody and Kitty … there were several of them, in depth from multiple angles and with different expressions on their faces. There was Chance and Elin snuggled with John when he was much smaller. Several of the other Summers kids and one that he hadn't seen of Tony, injured and smirking.

And that was when James realized that it had to have been the sketchbook she'd been using when Apocalypse was running things, if Tony's injury was anything to go by.

He hadn't seen any of this. At all.

For a moment, he just stared at that page; then, he shifted how he was seated, going cross-legged on the floor and almost hunched over the sketch book.

There was a two-page drawing with a little group of bamfs snuggled up and looking miserable and a pastel of the sunrise from somewhere near the mountains. He frowned when he saw the drawing of Cody and Kitty together. And he couldn't hear anything but his heartbeat by the time he turned the page to see the first of her horsemen drawings. But when he got to the one she'd done of him …

He took in all the detail and all that she'd done to make it perfect — not to mention the obvious raw emotion behind it — and after a moment, he simply covered his eyes with one hand and bowed his head.

He had been there for a long moment before there was a pop of pink smoke as Kari arrived again, though she froze when she saw his body language. "Oh — what — what happened?" she breathed out, teleporting right to him and then freezing when she realized which sketchbook he had.

She took in a deep breath through her teeth. "Oh. Oh no. James, I didn't realize…"

"No," he said, doing his best to pull it together. "You were right. I'm sorry."

"What are you…" She shook her head. "No, I'm really sorry. That — that whole book is full of grief and — and I meant to give you the one from last year!"

"It's okay," he said, shaking his head. "I just wasn't expecting it. And I never saw any of this before."

"I didn't want to show it to you," she admitted. "It was so emotional… for all of us."

"But accurate," James said, meeting her gaze.

She looked up at him and bit her lip before she nodded. "It was hard to see you that way," she said quietly.

"Yeah, not a thing I can do to make up for that. Any of it."

"You don't need to," she promised. "I know you were hurting, and it wasn't your fault. I already told you I forgave you."

He reached over and covered her mouth with one hand. "Stop."

She blinked at him in obvious surprise, but she didn't say anything either.

"I don't want to talk about any of that. At all. Ever."

"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes wide.

"Stop," he repeated, almost frowning. "You don't get to apologize. So knock it off."

Kari stared at him for some time. "I meant to give you a different book," she said at last, softly. "The one with you and Lily and—"

"Kari, you already made your point. If you want to brag, that's one thing. But you made your point."

"But that's not how I wanted to make it!" she insisted.

"Doesn't matter. Point made anyhow."

She let her shoulders drop and then threw her arms around him in a hug, practically clutching him in her attempt to make him feel better — and alleviate her own guilt at exposing him to such an emotional nerve. "I should just lock that book away," she said.

"You do and I won't talk to you again," he replied low. She rested her head on him in the hug, obviously emotional about the whole thing but not sure what to do, either. So, he pulled her into the hug and held onto her for a minute. "That's what art's supposed to do, right? Elicit an emotion? Done."

Kari hugged him a little more before she finally cleared her throat. "Thanks, James."

"Have the others seen this?" he asked. "Because you should show them."

She picked her head up at that. "Are you sure?" she asked, wide-eyed. "It's so raw; I never meant to show it to anyone."

"It's some of your best work."

She turned the slightest bit purple at that before she finally seemed to brighten up. "Well, if you say it's alright to show them…"

"Kari, I've had my personal business all over everything for a couple years now. The only thing everyone hasn't seen yet is my naked ass running around. And if genetics are anything to go by, that's just a matter of time."

Kari couldn't help but laugh. "Try not to rush to get that particular milestone checked off."

"I'm moving at an accelerated pace, though," James pointed out.

"Like you ever do anything the easy way," she said with a small, teasing smile.

"I do," he said. "All the time."

"Well, maybe the universe is fed up with that and is making you take the hard path," she said, trying to get a small smile out of him as she wiped the fur under her cheeks from where her emotions had spilled out a bit.

"Oh sure. Fast track to torture and metal infusion but make me work for the fun stuff. Not cool."

"Well, to be fair, you also ticked off a Creed, so I think you've ticked all the boxes and can move on to happily ever after, right?" she asked.

"I'm sure I'm missing something along the line," he said. "And I'm not sure the Creed thing counts unless he's still ticked off with me."

"No, I think he's alright with you," Kari said with a smile. "You don't really remember when you were hurt, but he was very concerned for you. And you're not doing the stupid stuff that made him mad in the first place, so…"

"So I'll believe it when I see it," James said.

"Well, seeing as he's moving in full-time this summer so Dr. Blue can be adorable and retired with Miss Daisy…"

"Too bad. I like him." He leaned his head back against the wall for a long moment. "Wanna go grab breakfast that's not Annie-approved?"

Kari laughed at that. "I could use some coffee cake," she said. "What do you think?"

He pulled a face and shook his head. "Seeing as it's almost noon, I was leaning more to steak and eggs. And maybe a latte. You can pick the flavor for me."

"Dangerous move," she said with a growing smile. "I'm in."