The true story behind this is only the pathetic matter of some paper pumpkins dreamed up by the Student Council... no vegetables were harmed in reality. Ours is decorate with construction paper worms, bugs, and leaves, and had better win next week's contest. It was just a pain to make.

As for Hermione's behavior in this chapter... it is something I really see her doing, if the opportunity and the right mood swing arose. Tell me what you think. I tried to keep her thoughts in order with it.

Whoever the idiot who thought it would be clever to have each class decorate a pumpkin in some sick display of Halloween festivity was seriously disturbed. It was tacky, superfluous, completely disregarded the moronic but age-old House rivalry, and, to put it plainly, just plain dumb. No students wanted to participate, and those who did wanted to go for full-out perversion. And at seven or eight pumpkins for each student for every single class... it was sickening!

Hermione decided that she would find a way to destroy this contest. Maybe. If she ever had time to breathe. Why had she never been told that student teachers never had time to breathe? Why had everyone insisted on leaving that little detail out? Why was there so much planning involved?

Or as it was Tonks had suggested and merely a conspiracy against new teachers, a type of hazing?

And now Professor Trelawney had forseen in her stupid crystal that Miss Granger would lead the first-year Gryffindors into a revolutionary pumpkin destined to win the contest!

Why were first-years taking Divination anyway? When had the Ministry for Education made that brilliant move?

Right now, she had fourteen hyper students and a pumpkin. The worst pumpkin she had seen all day. If it had been a sentient creature, it might have just muttered "rosebud" and crumpled away into rotten pumpkin pie.

"It's ugly," one boy commented. His friend was already poking it with a stick. The pumpkin's side actually indented itself with an all-too-audible squelch.

"Ew!" the girls screamed.

Hermione sighed. Professor Trelawney was burning way too much incense, and everyone was running around screaming. Or had been, before the pumpkin had been brought in. "How are we going to decorate it?"

"But it's gross!"

Another sigh. "I can see that. But Professor Trelawney wants us to decorate it."

Unfortunately, eleven-year olds were far too smart for her. Or was it fortunately? At least four students grinned at her. "But Professor Trelawney isn't here! You're the teacher now, Miss Granger."

A worm crawled from the pumpkin. Another squelch.

But during her own years at Hogwarts, she had always been expected to be such a good student... ah, so the defense rushed before even the thought.

It wasn't like the students weren't all thinking the same thing. She looked at the class, they looked back at her.

Within a minute the were out of the tower, Hermione clutching the oozing pumpkin, laughing children at her feet, and standing over a balcony.

"Do it, Miss Granger!"

One just couldn't ignore the pleas of small children. But she had never done anything like this before.

What the heck? She was the teacher. She grinned and let the pumpkin drop.

At least it didn't hit anyone.