A/N: hey folks, i hope youre well. I genuinely didnt mean to dip right after leaving you guys on a cliffhanger, i just had midterms and had to step away from this story to get my grades up. Anyway, Im aware that a lot of you hate adrienne atm (i kinda do too), but all i can say is i hope you guys will trust my creative choices and process. trust the process

Also yes, this is a short chap (sorry!) but i knew exactly where i wanted it to end so that's just how it turned out

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Chapter 18: i really fucked it up this time

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Legolas sits at a table, staring off into space. In his hands, he holds a fresh pint of alcohol despite the fact that it (tragically) won't have an effect on him. A bottle of Elvish wine would be very much appreciated at the moment.

He can't believe Adrienne said all that to him. She just…dismissed his feelings like that. No– their feelings. He refuses to believe this was a one-sided thing, even if she's too stubborn to admit it at the moment. He won't doubt himself in the face of her thwarting tactics. This connection he feels with her is so strong, how can she not feel it as well? And yet she's flat-out denying it.

True, he never thought it would be easy for her to admit her feelings. Because of her past, she keeps her heart guarded, off limits, even. He's aware of this. It can make her a bit–what's that term he had heard her use before?–emotionally unavailable. But to go as far as to say the harsh things she told him a short bit ago? That was an extreme he was not prepared for. If he wasn't so concerned he would be much more hurt.

But he is concerned, as well as confused because he knows she has feelings for him. And up until a short while ago, she hadn't seemed so scared of those feelings. She'd even wanted to indulge in them, it seemed.

Something clearly changed, and she won't tell him.

And that's what scares him. What could be so significant that she doesn't feel comfortable telling him? On multiple previous occasions, she'd shared difficult memories and admittances, gradually making progress. But just now he'd seen fear in her eyes. She was scared of those feelings again, suddenly, more than she ever had been. And it caused her to lash out at him. Badly.

A couple of nearby women spare Legolas pitiful glances, but he ignores them. The scene Adrienne had caused raised many eyebrows and resulted in a lot of scandalized whispers his elf ears easily picked up on. As a prince, he should probably care, but he doesn't. Not at the moment, anyway. The poor opinions of mortals who are strangers to him are things he learned long ago to not give a second thought to, especially in comparison to his own emotional turmoil.

When Legolas senses someone sit down beside him he knows just who it is.

"I take it you saw?" he asks, his gaze still straight ahead.

"I think everyone did," comes the ranger's reply. "It was rather difficult not to."

Legolas tilts his head down towards the mug in his hands and shakes his head, letting out a short exhale through his nose. "Yes, of course. That...interaction did not go the way I intended it to."

"I gathered that."

He resists the urge to roll his eyes-a habit he's picked up from Adrienne-and instead shifts the mug in his hands. "I know not what I did or what happened, but she's acting differently towards me. Even as if…" he trails off.

As if nothing that happened between them meant anything. As if he imagined it all. She can't pull that on him; he's lived long enough to read people's emotions."You yourself noticed her change in behavior, have you not?"

Aragorn sighs. "Yes, and it concerns me too. I attempted to ask her about it myself, but she avoided the question. Before insulting my dancing." He chuckles. "I think she might cause me more stress than Pippin does Gandalf."

The corner of Legolas' lip quirks up ever so slightly. "I don't think that possible." After a moment, he sighs himself. "I am confused and conflicted as to what I am to do. How can I mend this if I do not know what caused it in the first place?"

He refuses to let her pull away like this, he refuses to lose her. Whatever is the matter, they can overcome it together. He's willing to fight for them.

"Maybe it's not yours to mend," Aragorn offers, though his voice carries no hint of a ' maybe.'

Legolas tilts his head upwards, studying the structure of the ceiling. His eyes trace the direction of the wooden beams as he relays the earlier events. "I suppose I rather made a fool of myself tonight."

"Love causes one to do strange things," Aragorn says. "I will refrain from judgment."

Turning his head to finally face his friend, Legolas looks at Aragorn with wide eyes.

Love, that big scary all-important word. It had occurred to him, of course, but to hear it spoken aloud by his friend is rather jolting.

Understanding reflects across Aragorn's face, and the ghost of a sad smile plays at the corners of his lips.

A long, salient silence passes between the two friends. He knows, possibly as long as Legolas has, and the realization is both comforting and intimidating. It makes it more real. It's all the more significant because Aragorn, his dear old friend, is no stranger to impossible love stories. He knows what it's like to love someone you shouldn't, but you do anyway. He knows that agony more than Legolas does, despite being only a fraction of his age.

Legolas can only imagine what it's like for Aragorn to watch him dip his toes in the same dangerous waters he had.

Finally, he responds, his voice suddenly tight. "I didn't choose this."

"Rarely do we get a say in the matter of such things," Aragorn says. "Hearts are not known for being reasonable."

The elf looks away, acquiescence glittering in the dark sea of his eyes. "But there is a choice to be made," he says with pointed intention.

This time, it's Aragorn's turn to flicker his gaze elsewhere. "Yes. There is."

Another silence stretches between them, an array of thoughts and feelings filling the void.

"Despite it all, do you regret it?" Legolas questions. "Sharing your love with Lady Arwen. The time you did have together."

Aragorn's silence turns thoughtful as tender memories flood his mind. It would have been easier, no doubt, to have never started in the first place. But does he regret those priceless moments of love and joy? Would he undo it all to save themselves the heartbreak?

Even after everything, all the pain of their last parting, even though he was the one who broke things off, he doesn't regret it. Not in the slightest. That love they shared together was too great to ever wish away. He'd told her it was a dream and nothing more, but what are dreams if not the goodness that keeps us going? The goodness that keeps us alive? And that's how she made him feel: alive.

No, he wouldn't take back what they had, even knowing how they would end.

"No," he finally voices the answer to his friend, his voice rasp with honest emotion, though its firmness cannot be denied.

Legolas nods at the confirmation. "Then I do not fear the end, whatever that shall be, as long as I have the Before to hold onto. Though it seems Adrienne does not share that sentiment."

Aragorn sighs heavily. "She is a troubled young woman, Legolas."

"That does not define her," he snaps, surprising them both. His next words have lost his irate tone, but are no less full of resolve. "She is strong all the same, in spite of it. She has come a long way, I've seen it."

He will continue to see the good in her, even when others cannot. He will choose to.

The look Aragorn fixes him with is akin to pity. "That may be true, but even the strongest men are not immune to weaknesses."

"Then I will have to be strong enough for the both of us; I will be her strength when she has none."

"Legolas," Aragorn breathes, "you cannot risk your own well-being. Some battles are not yours to fight; she must find her own strength."

His jaw clenches. "That does not mean I have to leave her to do it alone."

Aragorn's silence is answer enough.

Legolas nods to himself, unfazed. "I'm going to talk with her and tell her just that. She needs to hear that she will not be so easily forsaken."

As he stands to leave, Aragorn looks up at him. "While I admire your fierce loyalty, my friend, I fear it may bring you pain."

The muscle in Legolas' cheek twitches, but he does not voice his reaction to that statement. Instead, he simply makes to take his leave.

"Im ceri- ú- iest na cen- cin negr-" Aragorn adds. I do not wish to see you hurt.

The sentiment causes Legolas to stop and turn back, his expression softening. "Im ista, mellon nin." I know, my friend.

With a bow of his head, he walks away in determination.

He refuses to give up so easily. A blind faith, perhaps. Foolish to some, even. But pertinent to him.

.。.*・ .。.*・ .。.*・ .。.*・

Adrienne shifts against her pillow, letting out a little puff of air as she basks in the afterglow. If only she had her dab pen to really wipe herself out. Maybe then she would feel as satisfied as she's currently trying to convince herself she does. "It's been a hot minute since I had a good fuck. Thanks."

The guard shrugs. "Did me a favor, too. I needed to relieve some tension."

"Ha, yeah. Me too."

Propping herself up on an elbow, she watches as he stands up and starts to get dressed.

"A fuck and run, huh? You leaving already?" she says. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't hoping for round two, or just some spooning time. Anything to keep her mind busy and in the moment. She doesn't want to be alone with her thoughts.

He barely spares her a glance. "I'm supposed to be on duty. I need to return to my post before my absence is noticed."

"Ohh, so you came that quick on purpose, then?" she jokes. "It all makes sense."

He's about to match her wit with a jab of his own when there's a knock at the door.

"Adrienne?" a distressfully recognizable voice calls from the other side of the door. "I must speak with you. Please."

Adrienne's blood runs cold.

Fuck, not now.

"I understand that you're afraid of the unknown," he continues. "I am as well. But we cannot allow ourselves to drive each other away because of that. We must be honest with ourselves and each other."

Horrible, gut-wrenching guilt and shame suddenly fill her.

Oh God, what did I just do?

With wide eyes, she frantically gestures to the man she just slept with to keep quiet and wait for their guest to leave, but he disregards her pleas as he walks over to the door. To her absolute horror, he opens it, allowing Legolas to see into the small room.

"I was just leaving," the guard says smugly before brushing past the elf, leaving him staring ahead at Adrienne.

She sits there clutching the sheet to her naked chest and stares back. She desperately wills herself to voice some sort of explanation justifying her actions, but as she stares into his eyes that are so full of hurt, she can do nothing but feel shame flood throughout her entire being. She knows she fucked up.

Swallowing hard, she braces herself for all the words she expects to come forth from Legolas' mouth:

'How could you?' 'Is this really what you wanted?' 'Are you happy now?'

But the verbal attack never comes.

Instead, the hurt expression on his face is replaced with a blank, impassive one, and he turns on his heel and walks away without ever speaking a single word.

And somehow, his silence hurts far more than any words he could've said.