Harry Potter and the Saviour of the Universe
Part Two of Two
Well, that's what happened. Draco was just stupidly lucky and now he's cashing in, Now, how did he bring about world peace and get healing powers? He's evil! His hair is evil, his breath is evil, even the people he talks to are evil!
Draco: Hi Harry.
Harry: (Jumps, grabs wand) Oh Crap.
Draco: My, somebody is jumpy today.
Harry: You... you...
Draco: Before you start, I'll like to say something.
Harry: (Crosses arms) Speak your piece.
Draco: We both know what actually happened that night.
Harry: D straight!
Draco: But, I've changed since that night. I saw an opportunity, took it and now I'm using the benefits for the good of all kind.
Harry: You're evil!
Draco: I am not.
Harry: Are too
Draco: Am not
Harry: Are too
Draco: This is going to take awhile.
Harry: Are too
Draco: Are you mad because Ron became my best friend?
Harry: Of course not. What do you think I am? Some four year old?
Ron: Hi guys.
Harry: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU TRAITOR!
Ron: Hey! Nobody orders me around.
Draco: Ron, go.
Ron: Okay. (Leaves)
Draco: I must admit, I am intrigued by your continued opposition to me, why?
Harry: You know why! One of these days you'll turn over, reveal your true colours and become a dictator. A bad one, but still a despot.
Draco: I don't plan to become a dictator.
Harry: Then what?
Draco: I just want to help people.
Harry: Liar.
Draco: You have no idea, do you?
Harry: I don't?
Draco: Do you know how hard this has been for me.
Harry: For you??! Excuse me while I laugh (Laughs)
Draco: A young boy, born to powerful and wealthy people. Parents being proud followers of the Dark Arts, parents who relentlessly force you to try and excel in everything.
Harry: You? Excel?
Draco: My parents put such horrible pressure on me that I became a nervous wreck even before I was Ten. I was a Malfoy, I needed to the be the best at everything and when I wasn't, I got derided as "Incompetent" "Useless" "Unworthy" and many others.
Harry: You can add "Ineffective" "Powerless" "Weak" ...
Draco: And then, I come to Hogwarts. Another Prison, keep up the family name. Become powerful. Boast about it, Only Prof. Snape seemed to understand how horrible I felt.
Harry: Don't forget mindless goons doing your bidding, exquisite robes, finest hair-gel gold can buy...
Draco: Then, after six years of boasting about Dark Arts I get called to the meet the Dark Lord himself, he has a mission for me. Kill Dumbledore or you and your family die.
Harry: ...
Draco: How would you have reacted?
Harry: I would have never have entangled myself with the Dark Side in the first place!
Draco: I was born into the Dark Side. I never had a choice.
Harry: Er... Well ... Er...
Draco: You don't know anything about me, you don't know what it was like on the day when Dumbledore died. I had him cornered and wandless. I pointed my wand at his heart, I was supposed to kill him but I didn't. He then gave me a choice, a beautiful chance to leave the Dark Arts forever. I lowered my wand, intending to give up. But more Death Eaters arrived, and they killed him.
Harry: What happened then?
Draco: I was honoured as the boy who brought about the Death of Dumbledore. The Dark Lord was so happy, he created some strange new dance at that moment. I was fully trapped, no choice at all. Then months later, I and the rest of the Death Eaters are called to a meeting in a cemetery. You were captured, The Dark Lord was dancing, asked me to kill you and I missed.
Harry: I vaguely recall.
Draco: The Dark Lord died, the Death Eaters died. I stood there shocked. Your Order arrived and in that moment I decided to take the credit.
Harry: I vaguely recall that too.
Draco: I'm sorry. But if I didn't, it would have been Azkaban for me. I hope you understand my position.
Harry: Well in some weird sense, yeah. I do.
Draco: Good
Harry: But, I still hate you.
Draco: Some things never change.
Harry: Are we done here?
Draco: I won't keep you any longer.
Harry relaxes his guard, puts his wand in his pocket and turns away, leaving a smiling Draco behind.
Maybe he isn't that bad of a guy after all.
As Draco watches Harry walk away, he raises his wand and cries "Stupefy!"
Harry: (Wakes up) What? Am I tied again?! (Tied to a chair)
Harry is a small empty room with only a door leading out. The door opens, Draco and a tall hooded man walks in.
Harry: You're evil! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
Draco: A sob story?! You fell for a sob story?! You are indeed as dumb as I've been telling people all these years.
Harry: I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! ...
Tall man: Silence...
Harry shut up, a cold shiver passed through him as he heard the words. That voice, No! It can't be! The tall man lifts his hood back revealing a white pale face, red eyes and a flat nose like a snake.
Lord Voldemort was still alive.
Lord Voldemort: Hello Harry
Harry: You're alive?! How?! I saw you die!
Lord Voldemort: No, I did not die. All this is part of my plan for World Domination! You see, after...
Harry: Oh no, not another great grand evil scheme! Kill me! Kill me now!
Lord Voldemort: Maybe you're right (Raises wand)
Harry: Wait! Er... lets talk more.
Lord Voldemort: (Lowers wand) As I was saying, after that night in the Ministry of Magic where my Death Eaters could not even control a bunch of kids, I lost faith in them and decided that they will not follow me to power.
I started to fashion a plan, one: To kill Albus Dumbledore. Two: To kill all my useless Death Eaters. Three: To take over the world.
The last part was the most difficult. Since I was a student at Hogwarts I studied the Arts of "Massive Deception". Magic which could fool all kind into believing a lie. I continued to study this after I returned to my body and only in the past year, did I learn all of its secrets.
The spell I would need to cast required a complete soul. Who else but the boy who brought about the death of Albus Dumbledore?
Draco: That's me!
Lord Voldemort: After the demise of Albus Dumbledore, I orchestrated my death and as expected, My followers killed each other. Afterwards, when Order of the Phoenix took Draco and you away, I apparated to Snape's house where we cast the spell of massive deception, I also gave him some masterful healing powers.
Draco became an overnight celebrity, all who looked upon him were instantly put under his spell. Everybody and every species now loves him, just as I planned.
Harry: So how come I don't love him?
Lord Voldemort: I put a few exceptions for me and Snape, apparently you are protected through our link.
Harry: I always knew this scar was useful.
Lord Voldemort: I secretly guided Draco in bringing world peace and getting elected "President of the World" Now he shall hand over all power to me, and I shall rule the world!
I have to do something!
Harry: Er... Where am I?
Lord Voldemort: Wouldn't you like to know?! Well, you're not...
Draco: (Sneers) You're in the Room of Requirement.
Lord Voldemort: (Glares at Draco)
Draco: What?
Harry: Hogwarts? Well, what is to stop somebody from just walking in?
Lord Voldemort: You think I'm that dumb? I'll have you know that I've carefully secured this room from outside interference, nobody is getting in.
Ron: (Walks in)
Lord Voldemort: (Jumps) You didn't lock the door?!
Draco: I thought you did!
Ron: Say... what's going on over here?
Harry: I'll tell you what's going on! Vol... (Voldemort covers Harry's mouth with his hand)
Draco: Er... I and Harry... have patched up... and I'm showing Harry how to... er... fight Voldemort ... who is... made up by a ... er... Muggle hologram?
That's lame! Nobody is going to fall for that! Could anybody fall for that? Nah, nobody!
Ron: Okay, carry on.
Harry: (Struggles madly in a blinding rage)
Let me go! Let me kill him! I'll come back! Honest I will, just let me at him!
Lord Voldemort: Say Ron, get me the Sword of Gryffindor will you?
Ron: Sure, Mr. Fake Lord Voldemort sir (Giggles, leaves)
Lord Voldemort: (To Draco) Get Snape and your Father here now.
Draco: At once. (Leaves)
Lord Voldemort: Now Harry, to business... Crucio.
A few minutes later, Snape, Lucius Malfoy and Draco enter the room. Lord Voldemort finishes torturing Harry and looks at turns to them.
Harry: Ga ga goo goo ga ga What am I saying?!
Lord Voldemort: The last time Harry Potter is going to be with us, anybody want to do anything to him for one last time?
Snape: (Raises hand to the air) Me! Me! (Walks to Harry) Ahem, A Thousand points from Gryffindor for ridiculous baby talk.
Harry: Are you crazy?!
Snape: Make it two thousand.
Harry: It's the start of term, we don't have any points!
Snape: Three thousand.
Lord Voldemort: All right already! Who's next.
Draco: At last, I can shave your head and dye your scalp blonde, the supreme insult! (Withdraws Dye and a shaver from his pocket)
Lord Voldemort: No! That'll take hours! Next.
Draco: Not fair!
Lucius Malfoy: How did you keep that ring?! That should have been stolen along with your other gold. Give it to me! (Grabs Harry's hand and tries to pull it off) Come out, come out! By the great Goddess of Mischief come out! ... Oh forget it (Drops Harry's hand)
Snape: Goddess of what?
Lucius Malfoy: It's that Joke Shop jingle! I can't get it out of my head!
At the mention of the Goddess, the ring started to make Harry feel funny. Something strange was going on with his brain. Then suddenly...
Fred: Harry! Can you hear me?
Harry: Fred! What are you doing in my head?
Fred: You called me.
Harry: I did?
Fred: Yeah, with that ring didn't you?
Harry: This is a telepathic ring?!
Fred: Yeah, one of our new products, for between close friends or accomplices. Didn't we tell you that?
Harry: You did not!
Fred: Oh well, no harm no foul. What's up?
Harry: Oh nothing much, except for ... VOLDEMORT BEING ALIVE, DRACO BEING EVIL, SNAPE BEING EVIL, RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW IN THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT! GET HELP!
Fred: Tsk, tsk. Quit kidding Harry. You're not very good.
Harry: I swear on the great Goddess of Mischief!
Fred: Oh dear lord, you're serious! Don't worry, Harry! Help is on the way!
Lucious Malfoy: (Singing) Oh great Goddess, Oh great Goddess...
Lord Voldemort: (Targets Lucious Malfoy)
Draco: You can't kill him, remember our Unbreakable Vow sparing my parents?!
Lord Voldemort: Oh, all right!
Snape: What are we waiting around for?! Lets kill him now!
Lord Voldemort: Not now.
Snape: Why?!
Harry: What do mean "Why?" Obey your master!
Lord Voldemort: I have lost one Horcrux due to the insanely stupid actions of a person in this room.
Lucious Malfoy: (Stares at his feet)
Lord Voldemort: I believe the "Sword of Gryffindor" will be a worthy replacement.
Harry: You'd better start making more replacements.
Lord Voldemort: Eh?
Harry: I destroyed all your Horcruxes! All of them! (Sticks Tongue out)
Lord Voldemort: WHAT?!
Snape: Yes, I knew about that.
Lord Voldemort: You did?! Why didn't you tell me?!
Snape: Dumbledore's orders.
Lord Voldemort: Dumbled... YOU work for me!
Snape: Do I? I mean yes I do.. But I was... Sheesh, this gets confusing
Lord Voldemort: (Glares at Snape)
Snape: Well, you didn't actually help!
Lord Voldemort: I'm not supposed to...
Snape: So many stupid decisions and illogical dilly-dallying!
Lord Voldemort: How dare you speak to me in that tone!
Snape: I dare! Besides, where is the sword?
Lord Voldemort: I sent Ronald Weasley to fetch it.
Snape????? ... I trust you put him under the Imperious Curse?
Lord Voldemort: Er...
Snape: I can't believe this! I am the Headmaster! You could have ordered me to bring it! You could have told Draco to inform me, but nooo!
Lord Voldemort: YOU WANT TO RUN THIS OPERATION?!
Snape: YES!
Lord Voldemort: (Blankly) Well... you can't!
Snape: I'd do a far better job than you! Let's put it to a vote, All for me becoming the Leader, say aye.
Lord Voldemort: Nay!
Draco: Hey! I want to be the leader.
Lord Voldemort: I am the Dark Lord here!
Snape: I am the Headmaster of the most powerful school on Earth!
Draco: I am the Saviour of the Universe!
Lucious Malfoy: I am the Head of Gringotts! I control all the Wizarding Gold!
Lord Voldemort: So you all want to be the leader, do you? Take that! Avada Kedavra!
Snape: Avada Kedavra!
Draco: Avada Kedavra!
Lucious Malfoy: Avada Kedavra!
Everybody drops dead, well except for...
Harry: I'm alive!
Ron: (Walks in) Here is the sword... Huh? What?
Harry: It's all just like I said! Draco was evil! As was Snape and Lucious Malfoy! Voldemort had faked his own death! Do you believe me now!
Ron: It was all a lie?! I feel like some sort of spell has been lifted... I... I...
Members of the Order, the Alliance security, Ghost Dumbledore as well as Fred and George burst in!
All: What happened here?!
Ron: I... saved Harry!
Oh no!
Executive Producer: Colin Xavier