Chapter Six

The way out was much easier goings than the way in. Yuki's heart felt lighter, his mind felt at ease. He had a renewed spring in his step… well… maybe that was going a little too far, but he was most assuredly happier than a few hours ago whilst typing on his couch. The elevator wasn't so loud, and it seemed the walk wasn't so looming or full of tall shadows.

His next surprise was hearing the singing.

A recording, no doubt, for a whatever band. But this was no "whatever" band; this was the unmistakable voice of Shuichi Shindo, his Shuichi Shindo.

Almost absently fiddling with the paper from Shuichi's note, almost absently walking toward that soothing voice, almost absently opening the door, watching him sing in the booth, watching his crazy American manager record. It was all almost without conscience and almost without thought. Almost.

"Great Shuichi, that was perfect. We'll just lay it over Nakano and Fujisaki's tape and the song… will be… finished. Shuichi, what are you staring at?"

His features had gone pale, slack, and emotionless. His eyes were wide and vibrant. Yuki could only shake his head to clear the fog and make him self think enough to smirk.

"Can we talk?"

Click. Click. Ding.

"Step away bastard."

Yuki jerked his head to the side only to fell the cold rasp of metal, an instantly recognizable gun barrel pressed against his temple. He took two steps back and looked at Shuichi quickly; he was reaching forward, moving slowly towards K

"Step away Eiri Yuki. You've done enough damage to this boy to last a life time."

"K, listen, can't I just--."

"Shove it ass-hole. Get out."

"K, no." Shuichi suddenly found his voice and took a few more steps forward. "Let me talk with him."

"But Shuichi…"

"Drop the gun."

A few moments of dire tension, a few seconds of hesitation, a single flash of challenge, then the gun drop and K stepped backwards. The look of death was upon his face.

Shuichi stepped out of the booth with Yuki, led him down the hall a bit, and stopped, back turned to his once-upon-a-time beloved boyfriend

"I got your note."

"Figures."

"You didn't want to see me for a while, did you?"

Shuichi shivered. "I didn't think that you'd come so soon, so quickly."

Yuki took a faltering step forward, uncertain of what to say. "Are you okay?" He settled for the familiar sentence, trying to break the strain of alien conversation.

"Great. Fine. Peachy."

"Liar."

Shuichi jolted. "What do you expect?" He sniffled brokenly, hugging his arms to his chest. Yuki reached a quivering hand forward, caught the shoulder, and offered comfort.

Shuichi broke.

"Yuki…" He whispered, turning around. His head lowered, tears dripping to the ground.

Yuki didn't think, did reason, he simply acted. His arms wrapped the boy in a silent and crushing embrace, and he soon found that little arms were returning the favor. In sudden impulses, Yuki found himself burying his nose in Shuichi's hair, rubbing his back, kissing the sides of his head. His little baby… his Shuichi.

"I miss you."

"I… I miss you too."

They hugged. It was a good five minutes before either even thought of breaking apart, a good seven before they started to stir, almost ten before they were completely unwrapped. Shuichi held his forearm in one small hand, staring at the chest of his Yuki. He sniffled a few times.

"I have go tell K I'm done for tonight, let him know you didn't kill me."

"Come home with me." Yuki said suddenly. Shuichi looked at him with a jerk of his head.

"No… Yuki… no. It's too soon."

"Just to talk."

"What if we get…reckless?"

"I won't get reckless."

Shuichi gave him a damp grin. "It's not you I'm worried about." He stumbled off past him, back to his recording studio, back with the crazy American man who loved Shuichi enough to protect the scrawny teen. Yuki thanked the crazy American for that.

A few minutes later, Shuichi reemerged, bowing and apparently thanking K for his protection. Yuki leant against a wall and watched him walk closer.

"Go home Yuki." He said, hugging the man and burying his nose into the black jacket.

"Come with me."

"No."

Yuki took his hand, caressed it with a finger. "Please, I won't let us do anything we'll regret."

"Who's to say what we will and won't regret?"

"Let me be the judge."

There was a long pause, in which Shuichi kept mindlessly kneading the front of Yuki's jacket. He sighed and clutched a handful of fabric, pulled Yuki as close as possible, whispered softly;

"Okay."

Their lips had gone numb in the first few minutes.

They were pressed together, Shuichi curled into Yuki's lap, both of them clutching the other tightly as they kissed. It was soft at first, tentative and slow, so many memories and so much hurt making electric currents flow from one to the other.

But it hadn't started that way…

"Welcome."

Shuichi stepped inside the new apartment quietly, almost afraid his presence would unravel the moment and everything would fall apart. But upon entry, he smiled and relaxed. The sparse décor, the limited artwork, empty cupboards, all reminded him of the past life when they had been a new couple. He relaxed in the familiar environment.

"It looks…" Shuichi laughed. "Like nobody even lives here."

An arm snaked around his waist. "I don't live here. I stay here. There's a significant difference."

Shuichi tensed up, and the man behind him let go. "I'm sorry."

"No." Shuichi turned and hugged him. "You're not doing anything wrong."

"Why did you write it?"

"The note? I don't know."

"Liar. Again, you are lying to me. Your nose is going to stretch a few feet if you don't quit." Yuki said, half-joking.

Shuichi buried his face against Yuki's chest. "I wanted to talk."

"I'm here to listen."

"You read it then, all of it?"

"Wasn't much to read."

Shuichi stared at him, pulling down on the jacket clutched in his small fists. "Don't leave me again, I need you." He shook his head. "It's what I wrote, but it doesn't make sense."

"Saying don't leave me again, would imply that we were back together."

Shuichi pushed Yuki away from him and turned to the couch. He perched on its edge, wrapping his fingers into knots of themselves as Yuki stared at him.

"What happened Yuki?"

"I took you for granted. You finally noticed."

"… And I let you leave." Shuichi tossed his hair around from side to side, sniffled, and whispered in a much more cracked voice. "Why didn't you turn back? Why wait until now?"

"I wasn't sure you were ready."

Shuichi snorted. "You make it sound like you actually cared."

Yuki sat next to him, pulled Shuichi close with an arm around his shoulders. He placed his face in Shuichi's hair and whispered against the cloying scent of strawberry shampoo, "I always cared. I just have trouble showing it."

Shuichi turned to him, eyes wide and wet with falling tears. All too soon, all too sudden, their lips were caressing with the tenderest touch, each trying to remember the others taste. They were scared, and timid, but the memories flooded back and it became passionate.

"Yuki… do you love me?"

"…Baka."

"This is a real question, do you love me?"

Such a long pause of silence, years where he never answered. And then, a hushed, "I've always loved you, and always will."

Shuichi cried harder, as he pulled his fingers through Yuki's thick blond hair. He was being nudged downward, his back being pushed to the couch. He didn't refuse.

"FINE! LEAVE! Don't you EVER come back!"

"Goodbye Shuichi."

The door was shut. He fell to the floor, clutching his stomach and sobbing against his pain. Blood fell from his lips, from the cut on his head. His bruises seared as his body was racked with shuddering and shivering.

"Yuki… God, Yuki."

"What?"

His head snapped up. So… he'd already come back. "Go away. Just leave."

"Does it hurt?"

"Of course it hurts you sick bastard."

"Let me help."

His hand closed around Shuichi's forearm, he lifted the boy up, and half carried him to the bathroom. As he cleaned the cuts and bandaged the bruises, Yuki sighed and kissed his lover softly.

"If I ever do this again don't let me come back. Don't let me hurt you."

"Impossible, I'll always let you come back."

Yuki ran his hands across the pale flesh, none of it was discolored, but he saw it with bruises and blood. Invisible scars that would never heal. He smiled at Shuichi, eyes just barely wet with tears. He kissed him gently, lingering on every movement.

"Am I hurting you?'

"No."

"Did I hurt you?"

"Yes."

"Don't let me come back after this."

"No."

Shuichi pulled him back down. "Is this something we'll regret?"

"I don't know."

"Some judge you are."

End-6