AN Reallized I just had this laying around, decided to share.

I Am Not A Parasite AKA A look into the mind of the Source of the titans.

I am the Source of All Living Matter.

I am the Devil of All Earth.

I am the Power of the Titans.

I am all of these things, and I am none of these things. In truth, I cannot say what I am, other than, I am. I exist. And I have since beyond the comprehension of time.

But that doesn't mean I truly lived.

My kind was once many. We joined with other creatures, becoming a part of them. In doing so, we made them greater, larger, and more.

We were not parasites.

I Am Not A Parasite!

We control nothing. We give power to our hosts to ensure our own protection and continue our own existence through them and their offspring. Which led to our deaths sometimes, when our hosts clashed with one another. For territory, for status, for mates.

We never understood the need for such things. We only wished to exist.

We are creatures of little thought, and yet, we are aware of our own kind, no matter the distance. We know what one another knows, being they living or dead. In this way, we knew what creatures make the best and the worst hosts.

On occasion, fire fell from the sky and scorched the lands. The world recovered, new creatures emerged, and survivors of my kind found new hosts.

Then it happened again. And again. It was ages between each one, but still, they happened. Each time, there were fewer of us than before.

I was not like the others. One might think I was more intelligent. Perhaps I was less intelligent.

I bonded to a tree, a lifeform like us: desiring only to exist without need or thought for anything else. I made my tree grow tall, strong, and endlessly.

For ages, I was like this. I was older than most of my kind by that point. Most died with a host at some point. But not I. Did I fear death? I don't think so. I just made the choice that paid off.

It worked too well, perhaps.

The world began to freeze and over time I felt my kind go silent.

I was alone.

I was the last of us.

Sorrow, anger, and other emotions were beyond my capacity. I just...existed.

Then, something changed.

I had changed.

The world felt empty. My life felt empty.

I wanted more, I needed more than just this vacant, endless existence in my tree.

Eventually, a creature fell into my tree. A human, or a member of their ancestors at least.

It was a frantic, scared creature. I could have easily bonded with this one.

But I did not.

I needed a host. But I wanted the right one.

And as more humans fell in, I learned many things from them: vengeance, greed, bloodlust, and hatred.

I did not want these things. I did not want a host that was possessed by these things. So I rejected them. Most of them died, drowning in the pool. Others survived to tell half-remembered stories of me.

I did not have the capacity to care, I really did not.

Then, She appeared.

The little human girl. The girl that had been enslaved, mutilated, and hunted.

A girl that wanted only to love and to be loved.

I felt something. Something I never knew before: A desire.

I wanted to protect this one.

I wanted to protect her.

I wanted to protect Ymir.

But I was wrong. I was so very wrong.

I did not know what she would do with my power: kill this Fritz? Free her people? Just run away?

She did not. She returned, to serve him.

I did not understand.

I could not understand.

But I could not abandon her. I needed a host and they were not like Ymir.

So I did not. I stayed with her through it all: the labors, the battles, the children.

And even her death.

Yet, she refused to rest. She refused to be free.

I did not understand.

But if this was her desire, I would not stop her.

For two thousand years, this continued. Two thousand years of watching my gifts to Ymir turned into a curse by her own refusal to move on. Hosts are not supposed to die in thirteen years. That defeats the point of a host, to die so quickly. The power was not supposed to be spread so thin as to render all but nine mindless.

For two thousand years, I saw the world we made and came to understand many things.

Sorrow

Despair

Rage

Relief

Hope

Disappointment

War.

I've come to know so many horrible things.

And then, He came.

Karl Fritz.

The one that destroyed the Eldian Empire, sending millions of my hosts to death and millions more unborn to suffer under their enemies.

I discovered something new from him.

Karl Fritz, by existing, taught me what it meant to hate.

And yet, Ymir obeyed him, and I could not stop her.

But I couldn't understand. Why would she do this to her own descendants?

I wanted to protect Ymir. But I didn't know how to help her.

I never did.

I still do not.

Now, at long last, he has arrived.

Eren Yeager.

I first noticed him when Ymir was watching him from the Paths.

He is a fiery, wrathful one. And yet, his hate is so strange. Not for wealth or power or any worldly desire does his rage burn. No, it is something primal, something greater.

Something I have wanted for so long and never knew the words.

The longing to live, and not simply exist.

The Boy of Freedom has come.

The Eldians believe that the Nine are fragments of Ymir's soul. Perhaps there is some of me in there as well.

It has been a long and horrible path for him to reach her, to reach us: The Paths, The Rumbling, The Scenery.

A horrid thing. Extinction has a feeling. It is painful and lonely.

But through the memories of all Eldians, I understand why the Rumbling must come.

The World will kill my hosts.

Not just Paradis, but all of Ymir's descants.

The World will kill me.

And for the second time in my long existence, I feel it again, that strange desire.

I want to protect someone.

I want to protect Eren Yeager.

From the world that calls him a devil...and his friends that refuse to stand aside. They are all too selfish and too selfless, too foolish and too wise.

What interesting hosts I have, to care so much for others at the expense of themselves.

I do not hate them. Not even the Warriors of Marley, my hosts turned against their own. How can I? But I will not let them stop me.

Perhaps this will end in my death. That is fine. I have lived long enough. But I will not allow my hosts...my children to endure an ending such as this.

If Ymir has not the will, and Eren not the heart, then I will see this through to the End.

Because I am not parasitic.

I help my hosts.

Especially when they cannot help themselves.

End of Chapter

Okay. So. I read the manga before the Final Season started. Ever since the reveal of Ymir's backstory, people have referred to this thing as the Worm, Hallucigenia, or simply the Parasite. And that bothers me immensely because it is clearly NOT a parasite.

As far as we can tell, there is no negative to this thing. It gave Ymir the power toture into a titan and numerous other abiltiies. The Thirteen Year Curse is NOT an inherit part of it, its caused by Ymir's death and being stuck in the paths. I doubt the Pure Titans being mindless is an inherit part of it either.

Still, you have to wonder if this thing is aware at all or just along for the ride. I decided to go with Aware and painted the picture of a creature that wanted to help Ymir, but didn't know HOW to help her mentally/emotionally. It also wants to protect its own hosts, the Eldians. Origianly to protect itself, but eventually because it feels protective of them.

Honestly though, I like the idea of Hallucigenia being protective of Ymir, Eren, and/or Eldians in general. It makes it cute yet sad to me.

Anyway, that's it for now.