Chapter Twelve

"All I Could Do Was Cry"

April 9, 2007

"I can't believe they gave you an upstairs dorm," Abby complained, as she hiked Olivia's suitcase up the second flight of stairs. Olivia's parents had taken the majority of her things with them when they went home. But the suitcase was just the clothes Olivia had to leave at Abby's during the flood.

"The elevator is getting fixed."

"Next semester you should live in a co-op because these dorms are falling apart." She said looking up at Olivia who was now at the top of the steps.

"Hurry up slowpoke, I have broken toes and I got up here faster."

"I'll break some more if you yell at me again." The suitcases hit the landing with a thump and the redhead sat on top of it, panting heavily. Cracking a smile, Abby stood and wrapped her arms around Olivia. "I'm glad you're back."

"Me too. I missed you."

"Yeah sorry, we couldn't come to the hospital, the details were hazy and not much was known. I guess Gerry can be thanked for that."

Olivia's gaze dropped to the linoleum floors. "Where's everyone, maybe we can get food later." Her change of the subject wasn't lost on Abby. She knew she shouldn't have mentioned anything to do with that man

"David should be getting out of class, and Harrison and Quinn are probably at debate prep, I'm gonna go after I leave here."

"Can I come with you? My therapist said I should join a club or something. Debate sounds fun enough."

"Of course, but you won't be able to join until next semester, there are only two rounds left but it'll be great to have you there."

XXXXXXX

Now that spring had graced the campus, it was beautiful- not to take away from its wintery atmosphere but Olivia loved everything about spring. It was the season of new, the true meaning of out with the old and in with the new. And this season she was embracing that sentiment a lot more.

She gingerly walked across campus, an iced tea in one hand and a book she'd brought from home in another. Olivia was taking her therapist's advice, she was finding a hobby, it was better than spending all day in her dorm mopping.

Though she didn't call it that.

As she turned the corner of building M, across the grass she'd noticed the boys tossing a football back and forth between each other.

Jake. Rolling her eyes, she looked forward. Jake was more trouble than he was worth.

He didn't expose Fitz because he cared. He was burned so he wanted to burn us right back.

Which he succeeded.

It had only been three and a half days since she'd gotten back to campus and she spent that time setting up her dorm, making it livable for the next two months because by summer she'd be moving out again.

Knowing that it could stir feelings up, Olivia did wonder where Fitz was and why she hadn't seen him.

Maybe word spread and he got out of dodge to avoid an awkward encounter.

Maybe.

Successfully avoiding Jake and his crew of misfits and rich kids who hate their parents so much they'd rather waste money on an education they don't care about. Cause that's exactly what Jake was doing.

Like many of the student workspaces, the debate hall was amazing. Perfectly formed for the debate team with podiums and microphones. Olivia had come in at the last prep round.

Abby was at the podium, hands glued down, face hard and determined. Leo Burgeon was talking, more like rambling to confuse the redhead not that it worked at all. And then in her last five minutes for rebuttal she tore into Leo so viscously, the coach called time and crowned Abby as the winner.

"Was I too harsh on the last bit?" Abby winced as she hopped off the stage.

"That was great, I think you could have attacked his last point a little more but that would have probably proved his point about a women's tempers," Olivia said with a small mirthful laugh.

"Yeah, I'm not totally sure that Leo was only pretending to hate me." Abby smiled as she rolled her eyes at Leo who was across the room, already digging into the pizza box. "Hey save some for everyone else, asshole. Liv you want a slice?"

"Yeah sure," Olivia said, and the redhead walked over there. There was a small table near the stage, and Harrison and Quinn were sitting, picking pepperoni off each other's pizza. Not sure when they'd become a thing but she smirked and joined them.

"Liv, you're back? I thought Abby was just saying that cuz she missed you." Quinn could ramble if they let her.

"Welcome back, how's your leg? '' Harrison cut in, saving Olivia from Quinn's chattiness.

"Better I should be out of this boot before summer."

"Glad you're okay, Liv."

The door opened and the debate coach came in with the breeze, he clapped twice to gather everyone's attention. "It's 3 o'clock, so you know what that means."

All at once everyone's eyes darted up to the television but Olivia found Abby's green orbs trained on her, a look of panic across her face.

It's 3 o'clock and that must mean you're watching: The Grant Report.

Normally I'd open with the latest politics, and I do have a treat for you. Senator Calwell isn't running for reelection, I'll drink to that later.

Now, I usually don't talk about my family on this platform, but my youngest, Fitzgerald, is getting married.

A southern girl, pretty too. The camera panned out from Gerry and into a generic engagement photoshoot. With added pictures of Mellie and Fitz in High School.

"Do you wanna go? We can go." Abby whispered.

"No, I'm fine here, and plus I'm happy for him," Olivia said, and when Abby faced forward again her gaze fell to her lap, her hands clasped together, and she fidgeted trying not to pick at her nails.

She couldn't even say that Fitz was her past because there had never been anything between them but friendship. A small part of her wondered if she could ever return to being his friend. But she could go on never feeling the warmth of his lips against hers pulling her over the edge.

I'm gonna have to.

Campus

It's 9:30 AM and crowds of students are piling into lecture hall M. Olivia's had two weeks to settle back in and shockingly enough she's never felt better. But Olivia also did know how to distract herself and getting her degree was the best kind of distraction.

"Alright, everyone, today's lecture, and the material will be on the final which is 4 weeks away, so pay attention."

Professor Davis eyed Abby's empty seat then his annoyed gaze shifted towards the door opening, and the redhead quickly sped up the row to Olivia's seat. Behind her walked Jake, who Olivia hadn't seen in class since she got back.

"As I was saying." Professor David began again.

"Hey tease," Jake whispered as he shuffled past Olivia, flipping her hair as he went by.

"Don't touch me again," Olivia warned, her gaze sharp and serious enough to kill.

"The only reason he's in class today is cause he's flunking out and turns out daddy's money can't buy you a brain," Abby whispered loud enough to ruffle Jake's frail feathers.

"You three want to pay attention, especially you Ballard." Davis projected to the top rows.

Olivia squared her shoulder and sat up, it was juvenile to be going back and forth as if they were still in high school.

But Jake didn't have a mature bone in his body and of course, he wasn't going to be embarrassed by Abby and his professor. "Strawberry shortcake, how's the financial aid working out for you? Have your parents had to put that rat's nest shed you call home up for sale?"

Abby flushed with embarrassment, her cheeks flamed red, and goosebumps prickled her skin. Olivia put her arm over the chair and leaned as far back so Jake could hear her loud and clear.

"You are a small boy, mommy doesn't love you, and your daddy is mean to you. Your best friend left you and now you're throwing a tantrum."

Jake swallows hard, the grin disappeared off his smug face. "Funny I don't see him here with you either."

"And you're still the loneliest one here," Olivia says firmly, turning back to Professor Davis. There was a slight shuffle and then Olivia glanced at the aisle: Jake with his backpack slung over his shoulder, was leaving class early.

He deserved it.

Santa Barabara April 24

If Andrew wasn't on the golf course he was in some bar hitting on any woman desperate enough to entertain him and if that wasn't an option he was gambling. But today he was taking the day off from both, no random women, no gambling, just hitting balls with his little brother. Which was a rare sight. Fitz fitted in tan polo shorts and a blue shirt, he used the club to stretch his back from bending at a strange angle all morning.

"Fitz that mini-golf crap isn't the same as my sport." Andrew roared with laughter.

A sight roll of his eyes and a nod to satisfy his brother. "Andy, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." His brother answered, but he could tell his focus was still on the game.

"How was marriage for you?"

"It lasted four months and the bitch tried to take me for everything, if mom suggested a prenup, get it."

"You're an idiot, I'm trying to ask for advice and you're making dumbass jokes." Fitz shook his head.

"Don't get married, that's my advice. Let her go! Mom's probably right she's after your inheritance."

"I don't care about the money but I don't know if I love Mellie like really love her. She's my cheerleader, my friend, and my partner but I'm not crazy about her."

"Then you're the dumbass, you wanna fuck someone else. And you don't want to feel guilty like dad or mom. Don't get married but you should have realized that before you're weeks away from sealing your fate."

"What about Mellie? She doesn't deserve this bullshit."

Andrew put the club back into the bag and grabbed Fitz by the shoulders "Dude, don't get married, you're marrying Melody cause she used to be poor, whatever that's not your problem if she's not your thing anymore you're allowed to change your mind."

"That's not why I proposed."

"Yes it is, it's why dad started paying her tuition, everything is fucked, and you don't need to be all white knight anymore. She's smart enough to bag a Grant, she'll find another meal ticket. But I don't think your conscience is gonna let you marry her knowing that you still want to sort your oats or whatever."

"I don't know why I asked you, you're a fucking dumbass." Fitz threw Andrew's club on the grass and hopped in the golf cart. "Walk back asshole."

Fitz looked back to see Andrew giving him the finger as he rode across the course.

He had a point,

Am I just trying to save Mellie?

April 24, 2007, late afternoon

Mellie gripped Fitz's hand that was sitting in his lap, the two shared a smile and turned back to Helen. The only wedding planner who was crazy enough to take on a wedding that was now happening in less than 3 weeks. And despite the time crunch, Mellie wasn't minimizing what she wanted for the wedding.

"150 guests, two receptions, and the first reception will include a four-course meal with servers and the second will include an open bar?" Helen read off the planner she had in front of her, she looked at the couple over the brim of her glasses.

"Yes, and the photoshoot, before and after the ceremony," Mellie added, sending a polite smile along with it.

"Okay and we're set for May 5th."

As the day fell into night Fitz realized just how exhausting this process was he'd only been in California for a few hours and the entire time everything was centered around wedding talk, not that he wasn't interested he just hadn't realized how much was going to be thrown at him all at once. However Mellie had been doing some side planning herself, her words were "a surprise wedding if need be" so that took some of the edge off.

Still, he'd never thought he'd be the one to get cold feet, and as much as he tried to talk himself out of it he couldn't shake the feeling now that the wedding was this close. It was too real to think about, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, Andrew was right. He only wanted to be Mellie's hero but that no longer made him happy.

Fitz's focus had been completely on Mellie and it helped to remember that Olivia hated him and wanted nothing to do with him. But now this wasn't about Olivia, this was about him and his future.

Light glowed from under the bathroom door for more than thirty minutes now, Fitz was trying to stay awake but Mellie was determined to spend the rest of the night in the bathroom primping. Jet lagged and eyes heavy Fitz gave into the temptation and fell asleep.

Birds chirped and the sun shined bright and hot in the month of May. Fitz knew he should have been up extra early, there would be no wedding without the groom. Rolling out of bed Fitz darted to the bathroom, grabbing his toothbrush as he got in the shower.

The room filled with steam as Fitz came barreling out of the bathroom, towel wrapped tight around his waist in search of his tux. The ceremony was due to start in less than ten minutes.

How did he oversleep on one of the most important days of his life? As Fitz got his pants and shirt on he sprinted out of the room, looking for his mother or father, someone who could tie a bow.

"Fitzgerald, where have you been, your bride will be walking out any minute now." Catherine chastised, grabbing her youngest by the collar, she tied the bow and shoved him out of the double french doors. "Go marry her son." His mother smiled, and Fitz remembered thinking she had a better attitude about his marriage, and that made him smile to see her coming around.

As he stumbled through the french doors, Fitz caught his balance and jogged down the aisle, there were less than 150 people there but that didn't matter because he was marrying the love of his life. Looking upon the crowd, he frowned as his gaze landed on Mr. and Mrs. Popes, wondering how these two found their way to his nuptials.

The officiant steps forward holding a small white bible. "Ready?" He asked, and the music queued at Fitz's nod.

A smile brightened his face as his veiled bride descended the aisle, her hands fitted with a bouquet of peonies. His brows creased because he knew Mellie hated those flowers. As the bride gets to him, she takes his hands and the officiant begins.

"Do you Fitzgerald Thomas Grant take Olivia Carolyn Pope to be your wedded wife?"

"What-"

"Do you Fitz?" Olivia says as she pulls the veil back, her features soft with a hint of makeup, blush brightening her already rosy cheeks.

"Olivia I-"

"Fitz, wake up." Mellie shook his shoulder harder than she did the first time. "Wake up."

"Mellie- what the-" Fitz sat up in the dark room, his throat felt as dry as a dessert. Diving for the glass of water on the nightstand, guzzling it as a small stream rolled down his chin.

"What were you dreaming about?" Mellie asked with folded arms.

"I don't remember." Fitz lied and didn't bother trying to convince her instead he turned his shoulder and laid down trying to force the dream to come back.

XXXXXXX

April 25, 2007

Fitz didn't run, he hated running, it was a known fact so when Catherine looked from the balcony and saw her baby boy running up the driveway she knew something was wrong.

The family had gathered in the dining room for breakfast. Laura was so kind as to prepare one of Fitz's favorite meals, but watching him push his eggs back and forth across the plate as he did as a child let her know that something was seriously wrong.

Quiet as a church mouse as Mellie ran on and on about wedding plans, sickened Catherine, how could she be marrying Fitz next month and she couldn't even see him fighting demons?

"Have you two talked to our lawyer yet?" Catherine asked, forking a piece of cantaloupe in her mouth. The question made Fitz stop mid-push.

"Lawyer?" Mellie frowned, finally glancing at Fitz "What for?"

"Catherine." Gerry tried.

"About the prenup." She clarified. "Love has no price so why not get that pesky prenup out of the way," she said smirking, but as her gaze shifted to Fitz there was something in his eyes, something that made her smirk disappear.

"That won't be necessary, we don't need a prenup," Fitz said as he stood, his hand outstretched waiting for Mellie's. Taking his hand Mellie sent a nod toward his mother, this was the first time he'd ever gone against Catherine for her.

And it felt good.

"We're leaving," Fitz said firmly.

Catherine and Gerry stood on the front porch as the car pulled off their property. It was set that Fitz was leaving to go back to school today but his mother couldn't help the feeling that she drove him away. Gerry had long gone back into the house but Catherine watched until she couldn't see the tail of the car anymore.

"Fitz-" Mellie had a huge smile plastered across her face. "I think your mother finally got the hint, it's me and you."

"We can't get married, I can't…do that to you. I can't ruin your dream wedding day Mellie. There will be someone who is only for you. Who will stand by you no matter what." Fitz breathed for the first time as if he'd been holding his breath for 6 years.

While her eyes widened, everything hit her all at once. "No wedding, no prenup." Mellie scoffed, turning her knees towards the door, she hugged her arms around herself. "Why can't you just pretend, it's not that hard."

"Because then I'd only be lying to myself and I don't want you to ever doubt yourself because I couldn't fake it."

Her breath would be wasted, this wasn't Fitz mildly sober or sad enough to accept the scraps she was handing out, this was him and she'd just been too blind to see that he had changed. "I hate you…for getting my hopes up for making me believe in us and think that we would one day grow old together."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"Olivia is powerful, she owns you huh?" She stared daggers at him, her mouth scrunched in disgust.

"This isn't about her, this was all me, I haven't heard from her in almost two months. I'm doing this for me and you-"

"Don't say you're doing this for me because we both know what I want."

"One day you'll understand, " Fitz said, and Mellie didn't bother to reply because she felt the tightness gripping her throat and she refused to cry.

Off-Campus Apartments Midnight

The apartment was cold from the lack of human presence, usually when Fitz would go out of town, Jake would make himself a home in the guest bedroom or on the couch, all depending on where he passed out at. The black duffle slid off Fitz's shoulder and hit the floor with a soft oomph and he slouched into the couch.

No fiance.

No, best friend.

Life could be worse, and Jake was a leech.

Only four and half months into the new year and all that Fitz thought he wanted on January first was gone and now he was free, to try out this thing called being alone. Though he wasn't totally alone, he kicked off his shoes and switched on the Tv.

Oh, shit the Grant Report special. Fitz sat up, he was about to look like a complete asshole in front of the world. However, he reasoned that jilting her in front of 150 guests would have been a bigger humiliation than the special airing for the next few days. Of course, he could have called his father but he wasn't ready to tell his family about his decision.

He needed one minute to catch his breath because everything around him was moving at godspeed.

Laying against the couch he sighed loudly, and leaned forward to grab the remote when he noticed the small brown box beside the coffee table.

What the hell?

Fitz peeled the box open, there was so much bubble wrap that he couldn't see what it was until it hit him. He had forgotten about Olivia's egg.

Olivia

"I'm already on her shit list." But that wasn't the least of it, how the hell was he going to return the egg when he had zero way of contacting her?

Curiosity consumed him and he started to unwrap the egg. The outside was as beautiful as he remembered but the antique guy must've shinned it up a bit because it was glowing. Before the egg didn't open because it was glued shut but with the gunt cleaned away the seal was visible, as Fitz opened the egg a sweet lullaby flowed out and swam around him, slow and wavy but soft and lilting. It brought tears to his eyes.

It had been trapped all this time.

Fitz knew surely that he had to do whatever it took to get this back to Olivia because she deserved to hear this lullaby for the rest of her life.

REVIEWS!

REVIEWS!

REVIEWS1

Not that it matters now, but Mellie DID delete the message off Fitz's phone. 2007, not much social media (I did this on purpose), and now he's sorta free, and no he doesn't know Olivia's back on campus yet,(like ships in the night/ different schedules) no he hasn't been missing classes, he's in Cali during the weekend. The hard part is over lol.

ENJOY!