Chapter Fifteen – Unforgettable and Unforgivable

Riven had to be out of his mind to be considering this. He had argued Helia every step of the way and yet he somehow found himself riding into the grounds of Alfea with the other guys. Riven had almost changed his mind and headed home as soon as they arrived but decided he'd rather not damage his reputation by having his ass kicked by a pacifist. Instead, he did as he was told and went to inform the Winx Club that their dates had arrived and were waiting for them downstairs to give Musa and him some privacy to talk.

Riven couldn't deny that his hopes didn't sore when he saw the way Musa reacted once she noticed he was standing in her doorway. Her eyes glowed in delight and a little, thrilled smile spread across her lips as she watched him from her place sitting on the edge of her bed. However then she remembered the others were still in the room with them and she dropped her eyes downwards. When the others left, an awkward silence filled the room and Riven shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. Why the hell was he so freaked out? She was just a girl! He could do this, could he?

"You look nice," he said and then he had an overwhelming desire to bang his head hard against the wall. You look nice. What the hell kind of opening was that? Gods, he'd give his right leg for Helia's skill with words right about now.

"Thank-you," Musa relied softly. "You look pretty good too."

"Yeah," Riven muttered, rubbing his temple. His headache was coming back. Then he raised his voice to address the girls listening on the other side of the door. "I said your dates are downstairs."

"Sorry," Bloom apologised through the door and he could hear the sound of heels walking away as well as fast, faint whispering. However something still wasn't right.

"That included you too, Stella," he said sternly.

"Oh my god, he hears like a bat!" Stella exclaimed, following the rest of her friend out to find their dates. Riven shook his head and Musa couldn't help but to grin at him. Her smile made Riven breathe a little easier.

"How can you stand it?" he asked, a shy smile tugging at the side of his lips.

"You get used to it after a while," Musa shrugged with a sideways grin. Riven barked a laugh, but then the room fell silent again. Running his hand nervously through his hair, Riven sighed deeply. It was time to man up and deal with this mess head on.

"I guess I owe you an apology," he said softly, trying to look at her in the eye, but he couldn't seem to hold it for longer than a second at a time. His guilt was still too strong and it was going to take some time for him to get passed that, regardless of how this meeting went.

"What for?" Musa asked a puzzled look on her face. She wasn't playing dumb; she honestly didn't know that it was Riven was apologising for. Sure, they had been through hell a week ago, but that wasn't his fault. Maybe he was apologising for ignoring her text messages and dodging her calls this last week. Or for making her wonder all day whether she'd have an escort for the test tonight or not.

"For that whole Darcy thing."

"Oh, that. You didn't know she'd – "

"But I should have," Riven interrupted, looking at her with painful guilt in eyes and this time managing to hold that gaze. "I should have known she would eventually come after you. I should have told everyone that she was lurking around. I . . . I should have known."

"Maybe, but I should have known too. I should have known someone was using magic on me. I mean, we have classes focused on detecting that kind of thing. I guess we really can't blame anyone."

Riven hmmed and went silent for a second. "So, what do we do now?"

Musa suddenly had an un-resistible urge to start chewing her nails, but she kept her hands firmly cradled in her lap. If nothing else, it would mean Stella couldn't yell at her for causing her nail polish to become cracked and flaked. "I dunno. What do you want?"

Riven let out deep sigh and crossed the room to crouch down in front of her, running another nervous hand through his hair. Up close Musa saw how tired he looked and she knew his fatigue was going to make this all the more difficult for him. This would be incredibly hard for him to do under ideal circumstances because he had always tried to keep his feelings and emotions restrained to avoid them overwhelming him. And now, in order to get fix everything that had happened over the last few weeks, he needed to connect with them and frankly that terrified him.

"I just want you to be happy," Riven told her, his voice heavy with sincerity. No matter how difficult this may be for him, he needed to be honest and get this all out in the open. Musa deserved that much at least. "And safe. I don't want you to suffer or be hurt on account of me and my mistakes. You don't deserve that. And I know, I've hurt you a lot in the past."

"But – "

"No, I have. Don't try and make any excuses for me. For years I've dragged you along and jerked you around. I've toyed with your emotions and I haven't appreciated you the way I should have. I don't know why, but I always seem to mess everything up and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Musa."

"Hey," Musa cooed, reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder. Her hopes fell slightly when he flinched away from her touch and she returned her hand to her lap. "I'm sorry too."

"You have no reason to be."

"Yeah I do."

"No you don't."

"Hey, I have just as much right to be as sorry as you," Musa told him, strength in her voice as she tried to hide the smile that was forming on her lips at how stubborn they were both being. They couldn't even apologise to one another without some kind of disagreement.

"You didn't do anything," Riven reminded her, only just keeping the jesting tone out of his voice. He loved it when they used to have these little play arguments. He loved the way her attention would be totally fixed on him and the words that they were warring with. He loved the way her eye would burn with that passionate fire and the way she would challenge his every move.

"Stop being such a blame hog."

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. I earned half the blame, I'll get half the credit for it, bucko."

"Bucko?"

"That's right, buddy boy."

"You're impossible."

"I'm sorry."

"Damn it Musa, you have nothing to be sorry about," Riven said, trying to sound severe, but a small amount of laughter managed to creep out in his words.

"Yeah I do," Musa told him, her voice serious despite the fact she was thrilled she had gotten him to lighten up a bit. "I freaked out. I made a huge deal out of nothing and my insecurities hurt you. I should have never questioned your fidelity or faithfulness to me. That . . . T-That wasn't fair on you. And I'm so sorry, Riven. I'm so sorry."

"Hey," Riven whispered, hesitantly putting his hand on hers while she wiped her eyes with the other one. "It's alright."

"No it isn't. That was so uncalled for from me, especially after that whole thing with Jared. And I meant to tell you about him, honestly I did, but I just couldn't find the words. I knew you'd get angry and want to take it out on Jared or something."

"No I wouldn't," Riven lied. Musa gave him a hard look. "Okay, maybe a bit."

"What stopped you?"

"Helia literally had to tie me down," Riven admitted, dropping his head slightly in shame. It was embarrassing just how often his anger drove him out of control to the point where someone else had to rein him in. He was fortunate that he had fallen into a group of friends that were not only willing to put up with his attitude but were willing to step in before he did something he would regret.

"Should I be worried about you two?" Musa smirked. She just couldn't help herself. "I guess I'll have to inform Flora as well."

"Ha ha. Yeah, you're funny," Riven snapped, with a voice dripping with sarcasm. "And I wouldn't have hurt Jared . . . much."

"See, that's why I didn't tell you. Jared's still my friend and totally smitten with that girl he's been dating since last year's prom. And also because I didn't want to hurt you."

"You couldn't hurt me pixie even if you tried," Riven informed her and he was rewarded with a punch to his shoulder. "See? Pathetic."

"But I can hurt you Riven," Musa sighed, remembering the hurt in his eyes when she said those things about his family and the way he had been hunched over his bike that night. "That comment about you taking after your family, I – "

"It's nothing," Riven quickly cut her off.

"No, I – "

"Musa, don't. Please," Riven begged, his eyes looking at the ground. He didn't want those wounds from the past affecting him now. He just couldn't deal with his past right now. In fact, he wished he'd never have to deal with it, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. He knew his friends were going to drag it out of him one day – they were annoyingly persistent like that – but he wanted to delay that as long as possible.

"It's just, I'm sorry," Musa cut to the chase. There was no need to drag him through all that now. "Again, I'm sorry for everything. It's just what Darcy put in my head really got to me, you know? I just got so insecure that I was certain you'd get sick of me or bored with me and move on to someone else. And I knew I couldn't stand it if you did but I was too afraid to talk to you and I'm sorry but I'm just not ready to take that next step. It's just me but . . . I just can't."

Riven was now watching her with wide eyes, though it was hard to tell if it was because he was having difficulties following her babbling or because he was troubled by what it was she was actually saying. Musa suspected the latter, especially when he said, "I never wanted to seem like I was forcing you to do something you didn't wanted to do. I was fine waiting for you."

"But, surely you wished our relationship was more then what it is?"

"No."

"Riven."

"No. Okay, okay, yes. Yes to a degree. Look . . . I . . . It's . . ." Riven struggled. "I-It's not all I'm looking for in a relationship. Okay? Look, don't get me wrong; that stuffs . . . you know, great, but it's not everything. I mean, there are people out there like Darcy who use sex as tool to control people, but that's not something I'd want to put another person through, y'know? I guess I think that a relationship should be more than just a power play. Am I making any sense or am I just making myself out to look like a jerk again?"

"Shockingly, I think I know were you're coming from," Musa nodded with a soft smile. It was incredible to witness Riven being so open and honest about his feelings like this. "But I still obsessed over it for no reason. I got to thinking that your past with Darcy really affected what we had. I had no right to start asking questions about your relationship with her. It wasn't my business."

"But, it kinda was your business. I mean, you were my girlfriend. I shouldn't have gotten so defencive about it all."

"Yeah," Musa gasped, a little shell-shocked. Her mind had gone completely numb. Were? You were my girlfriend? He was talking about their relationship in the past tense! Oh gods, did he not want to fix what they had between them? Did he just want to apologise so they could be friends or at least not be so awkward when they were around the others? Just how badly did she screw everything up?

"Musa? Are you alright?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?" Musa forced out. "But where does that leave us?"

Riven let out another deep sigh and Musa felt her heart sink. Running his fingers through his hair again, Riven rubbed the back of his neck nervously before continuing. "Look, all the things I've put you though over the years are . . . unforgivable and unforgettable. I'm not worthy of you and I have no idea why you would even feel anything other then disgust for me. We're worlds apart. I mean, you're a princess and I'm . . . nothing."

"I don't care about things like that."

"But other people do, you know that's a fact. Plus all I seem to do it get you hurt and I couldn't stand it if something happened to you because of me. I mean, I've been losing my mind the last week because of the danger I put you in with Darcy. I just want you to safe."

"But . . . But . . . But you also said you wanted me to be happy. And I won't be without you," she told him, trying to keep her tears from falling. It was true that they had been put through more trials than other couples, but that didn't mean that she wanted to walk away from their relationship. She believed that it was something worth fighting for. "Can't you think of one reason why you might want to be with me?"

Riven was silent for the most horrible amount of time, his eyes locked on hers. With each passing second, Musa felt her heart explode into deep levels of anguish. She might believe that they had something between them worth saving but if Riven didn't think the same thing then there was little she could do. And then, after an excruciating pause, Riven slowly nodded and Musa felt her hope surge powerfully within her.

"Yeah. Musa, I . . . I . . . Gods, I-I . . . I-I-I love you," Riven whispered, looking at the ground before mentally kicking himself. Damn it, if he was going to say it he may as well make it sound like he wasn't a coward. Lifting his face to look pointedly in hers, he repeated himself in a much stronger, more certain voice. "I love you."

Musa was a little taken back by Riven's confession. She had wished for so long to hear those words from Riven, but she still couldn't believe it was really happening. It was just so surreal. Musa needed a second to let it seep in. He loved her. He really loved her. She could feel tears start to gather in her eyes, but they were tears of delight. She just couldn't believe it.

It was then Musa realised she was gawking at Riven, who was looking like he was going to be sick as he waited for her to reply. "Oh Riven, I . . . I love you too."

A smile of pure relief and happiness broke out across Riven's face and before either of them could think of some sarcastic comment to spoil the moment, Riven rose up and pressed his lips against hers. Musa shuttered in delight at the contact and it was made all the more intense by the fact that she knew he loved her. He had admitted it to her. He had admitted it to her first. It was like her heart, her emotions and her brain had all gone into overload, and she loved every minute of it.

Riven was trembling slightly when he pulled back, but for the first time in a week it wasn't due to the aftermath of the Atropa Curse. He had never been as terrified in his life as he had been just uttering those three, simple words. However he quickly discovered they got easier to say each time he said it.

"I love you," he told her again, wrapping his arms around her and kissing every inch of flesh he could get his lips too. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Musa giggled as she fingered his hair. "I love you too."

Unable to resist, Riven once again pressed his lips to hers and the whole universe seemed to melt away.

Aww! How sweet. But honestly, he showed up wearing a suit, people. That means something, doesn't it? Darcy's right, Musa is pretty blind. And yeah, I don't think that there's anything going on between Riven and Helia. That's just a joke we pull on all my guy friends, like calling their best friends their boyfriends. So that whole thing's just mockery.

One more chapter to go! Ya-yah! BTC for the last time!