I was on a blanket in a barn stall doing double duty. Simone had invited her friend Therese to join our party some weeks ago; slowly I was making my way through all my sister's friends. They would not marry me, or admit to speaking to me, but none had a problem with an afternoon of mutual abuse now and then. I wished my Mignonette would join in; she used to be game for such things, but since she became respectable, she had lost her sense of humor.
Anyway, Therese had just recovered from a severe tongue lashing, and she and Simone were switching places. I heard voices elsewhere in the stable and extricated myself. I slipped my trousers on–not so easy locating them–and crept out to locate the intruders. I had satisfied myself that the sounds were coming from the loft, and was headed back to herd the ladies out when I recognized my little sister's voice. In the loft. Now, there is only one reason for a girl's voice to be coming from a loft; but if it is my sister, there is no reason. I crept up the ladder stealthily, ready to do murder.
"I heard something, Alain. Maybe we should go back…" I knew this Alain, Viscomte Something Something, brother of one of Lili's friends I'd not had yet; Julie, I think. Outrageously handsome family, in a dark way. They were all built tall and slender, with long dark lashes and devastating brown eyes. No matter, he would make a handsome corpse. I peered over the top rung of the ladder. Bastard had his tongue down my baby sister's throat and his hand in her bodice.
"Right, Alain, maybe you should go back." I snarled.
Simultaneous cries "Oh, Gaston!" and "SHIT!" You can work out who was who.
"Swords, guns, or fists, Sir?" I continued.
"I, ah, meant no harm…Gaston," Alain stumbled. He took note of my dishabille: trousers; no shoes or shirt. He assumed his normal haughty mien. "How do you come to be here, if I may presume?"
"You may. You interrupted my own little ménage downstairs. Now, how will you die?"
"Gaston," my precious Lili had gotten to her feet. "Gaston, he's spoken to Father, just now. It's alright." Oh.
"Oh." I dropped my fists. "You mean you're marrying him?" Lili nodded happily.
"Oh, well then," I slapped Alain's arm and gripped his fist heartily. He was nonplussed; I reckon he felt a beating might still be in order. If I were a normal brother, I suppose that would be so. I scooped Lili up in the air and gave her a big squeeze. "You never tell me anything anymore!" I scolded.
"I can never find you anymore," she replied, beaming. She was in love.
"Ah. Check the stable," I winked at her. "Happy?" She nodded. "We'll talk later?" She nodded again.
I drew Alain aside. He remained noticeably tense. "Look here, brother, I would be grateful for the opportunity to wrap things up downstairs; an hour should suffice. Do you, ah, have everything you require here?" I asked pointedly.
"Hm?" Dunce. I pressed a packet of caution into his hand and raised a warning eyebrow.
"Oh! Ah, yes, Gaston, many thanks." He smiled, still baffled. With that, I made my escape back to Simone and Therese. Didn't hear much from the lovebirds; not that I would have with a pair of thighs covering my ears.
-0-0-0-0-
"Yeeooowww!" I awoke the next morning and pissed fire. Shit, I knew what that meant, but I intended to deny reality awhile longer. No one rushes to the kind of beating I knew I was going to get from Mignonette. Besides, I wanted to have a chat with Lili. She was thinking the same thing; I met her on the path from the main house. She took my hand and we strolled to the garden.
"So?" I opened.
"So, you nearly scared Alain to death," she scolded.
"How was I supposed to know? My baby sister's voice in the loft, my God," I explained.
"He's been very gallant," she assured me primly.
"Mm, couldn't wait another minute," I teased.
"Stop it, I'm not telling you a thing! You never told me anything." Lili replied.
"The Viscomte is good to you?" I asked. Lili nodded. "I'll miss you," I confessed, kissing her forehead.
"I know, Gaston, that is the only thing. If only Alain could come here. He has purchased a house in the city for us. I've never lived in the city…" she mused.
"Marvelous, I'll come see you when I'm on a raid," I tried to cheer her up. She smacked me half-heartedly. "How is he in the–um, loft?"
"Alain had a marvelous time. I thought it was a bit silly, really, and not especially comfortable. Perhaps I shall prefer a bed. I liked the first part quite well, all the kissing and such, but, you know, that other thing, not so much," she replied candidly.
I nodded. "I think most girls aren't mad about that other thing at first. Yea, you should talk to Mignon now. Or Simone."
"Simone?"
"Well, she's married, isn't she?"
"I don't want to know about Father," Lili crinkled her nose; my feelings exactly. "She told me some things when they first got home, and that was enough." Suddenly she remembered something. "And what were you doing in the stable anyway? What if Mignonette found out?"
"She'd cut it off," I shrugged.
"Gaston! Don't even say that," she was horrified. "Who were you with?" she squeezed my arm.
"Why, you little gossip; I won't tell you," I replied. "Actually, I can't; she's married."
"Oh, Gaston!" she was dismayed. "Why do you do this?"
"Lili, I know you won't believe me, because I always get into trouble, but I swear, I swear, the last two women I've been mixed up with came after me. I don't know why, I wish I did. They were the ones in the stable yesterday."
"Two?" Lili gasped.
"Anyway, I never chased these girls, Lili, but listen, I'm only human. I can't help it, I love women, I just love them, and when a beautiful girl is undressing herself and kissing me–"
"Gaston, you mean to say that Mignonette doesn't excite you? I can't believe that."
"It's not that, Lili…but what if you had to eat only strawberries every day, forever? Strawberries are wonderful, but nothing but strawberries forever–"
"Do you think every man is like you? Do you think Alain will tire of strawberries also?" she worried.
"He'd better not," I grumbled.
"What about Father?"
"I'm not like Father, Lili, not a bit," I admitted.
"Gaston…" Lili shook her head.
"I was true to Lucie," I confessed. "Shit," I said, suddenly feeling like it.
"I'm sorry, Gaston." She hugged me.
"Don't mind me, Little One. Listen, if you love each other, you hold on tight, always, and don't let go. And be happy, I want you to be happy," I patted her back the way I did Chretien's.
"I know."
-0-0-0-0-
Life went to hell again. We went to Sunday dinner at the big house, and Father looked as angry as that day he told me I would marry Lucie. Simone had big red puffy eyes. The honeymoon was definitely over; I suspected that Raoul was pissing fire. I had a moment of terror when I wondered if Simone had fingered me; but no. Father was not angry at me.
This was also the Sunday that Lili chose to tell Father that she wanted me and Chretien to be at her wedding. I really appreciated the gesture, and I understood it was done out of her dear love for me, but Lili's timing could not have been worse. Mother never even got Father to agree to that. Of course the whole charade was absurd, because everyone gossiped, and everyone knew I existed, but as long as I did not exist officially, no one could say much of anything. Nobility–aptly named?
On a brighter note, Aunt Giry appeared with a letter from the erstwhile Phantom.
Monsieur de Chagny,
Thank you. I have not been the beneficiary of much compassion in my life, and your kind gesture moved me deeply. I am indebted to you.
I have the honor to invite you to my home at your convenience. Will you join me for a meal? As you have guessed, I live below the Opera House. It was you who searched for me several years ago, was it not? Please send me word of your intention to call and I will put myself at your disposal. Mme Giry will guide you safely to me. You are most welcome.
Yr obdt svt
E.
I hollered; I jumped for joy; I wept. I talked to Mother–I prayed to Mother. I felt over the moon and ill at the same time. I felt like I used to as a child on my birthday, my mind reeling at what could be inside the beautiful boxes. I penned lists of questions, then lists of questions based on answers, and I tore them all up. Finally I realized that all I could do was meet Erik, ask him to tell me about him and Mother, and see where it led. I felt willing to answer his questions, too, if he should ask me about her. I found myself wishing I could give him something of hers, to let him know that she had been happy, though she had never forgotten him.
I was so excited that I almost forgot that I should warn him about my face. It would probably be an especially huge shock for him to discover that his beloved, beautiful Christine had given birth to…me. But surely Aunt Giry had told him everything about me. The anticipation and the trepidation were killing me equally. I could not wait any longer; I placed the ad.
ERIK: IF FRIDAY EVENING IS CONVENIENT, PLEASE SEND YOUR GUIDE.
DON JUAN