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As planned, I gave out my Christmas List to everyone at breakfast, reminding them that I was being generous by giving them an extra day free of my list. They were usually handed out promptly at midnight on October thirty-first.
"You're ridiculous," Remus laughed as he read the parchment I handed him. "A unicorn?"
"They're real pwetty," I cooed. "I remember when all I wanted for Christmas was young."
"And what would you do with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and three incredibly good looking Frenchmen?" James scrunched his nose up.
"It's none of your business what I do with what you get me, Monsieur 'I put my ickle nose in everyone's business,'" I tutted.
"You know we never get you anything you ask for, right?" Lily reminded me.
"Actually, I could ask Jean to invite some of his cousins here for Christmas," Nina thought aloud. "And I'm sure they have chocolate sauce and whipped cream in France..."
"That's the spirit!" I cheered. "That's why you're my bestest chum, Nina." I tapped her head. "You think like me."
"How's that good?" Sirius joked.
I smiled at him. "I'll ignore that, only because the Yuletide Cheer is running through my veins like water through a babbling brook and I don't want Father Christmas to put me on the Naughty List."
"There's no such thing as Father Christmas," Jude told me. "We go through this every year."
"Yes there iiiiis," I argued. "Saint Nick is real. Or at least, he was. Because saints die, don't they? So that means he was around in Baby Jesus Times, and gave Jesus the best present he ever got when he was little, so God made him immortal so he could give everyone else good presents?"
Remus rolled his eyes at me. Sirius and James gave each other a significant look, and Jude put her head in her hands.
"Your spaceship has landed," Lily said as the post began to arrive.
As expected, I received my letter from Robbie:
Kittie/Goddesss/Love Of My Life,
I've hog-tied the unicorn, bought you all that useless jewellery you wanted, and got you the whipped cream and chocolate sauce. I'm hurt that you'd rather share these things with the French and not me!
But I Love You All The Same, Robbie
I stuffed it into my pocket and made a mental note to write back the first chance I got. Jude decided to be Chuckles the Giggling Laugh-whatsit, and gave everyone three chances to guess who my letter was from. And I flicked some porridge her way. That'll teach her.
"Naughty list," she warned.
Damn.
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November had been anything but uneventful. Jude had her Thanksgiving Mania, and I continued my ongoing Christmas Extravaganza. Nina soon caught my bug and we both continued to buzz about like sugarplum fairies. Hogsmeade was in a week, so Sirius and I were beginning to plan our beyond amazing trip. James and Gemma had got a lot friendlier. In fact, they were dating. It was a complete shocker to the school to see my brother with a girl that wasn't Lily, but I still knew James was trying to make her jealous. And though none of the girls would tell him, it was working even better than James could have hoped. Lily was constantly in a huff after being around the two. Her moods were usually perky in the morning, then after a breakfast of my twin and his new "obsession" coddling, she was a complete wreck the entire day. Once she went to sit with some friends in Hufflepuff because she was so profusely sick of "The Gag-Me Brigade." It was silly to watch her slowly become more and more jealous that James had found a new girl to indulge because she refused to admit to us that she could ever feel anything but extreme disdain for my brother. I'd always said they would fall madly in "luuurve," and it looked like I was correct.
Robbie and I began to skip lunch in the Great Hall to eat in the Kitchens and chat. We never got a conversation going with my friends because Sirius was always moping, and Robbie's friends weren't extremely fond of me, being the Gryffindor Quiddith Captain's sister. Jude accused us of snogging on several occasions, but after all of my arguing that we were still friends and if I did fancy him I most certainly would have told them, the girls finally got the hint. Sirius and James still greatly resented the fact that I enjoyed Robbie's company, but I reminded them that they had no hard evidence that he was vile in any shape or form and until they did I would continue being friends with him.
Robbie and I got on swimmingly. We had nearly forgotten the Almost Snog Incident from the Masquerade and were back to our typical banter and innuendo. But we also had a few v. serious adult conversations. It was nice to have a friend outside of my typical group, not because they weren't good friends, but just to have another person to talk to about other things. Robbie was great fun now; he was making me laugh more than I remembered I had in what felt like a while. As we were starting to get so close, I had failed to see who was slowly drifting away from me.
Speak of the devil, Sirius and I had been on pins and needles, oddly enough, the Monday after the Masquerade. That was the first time I didn't do lunch with them to spend time with Robbie. He, Sirius, completely ignored me in our next classes. By dinner he would speak to me, but I could tell he was still angry. Detentions weren't very enjoyable, mostly cleaning rooms or filing papers. Trixie and Lestrange were sent to a different end of the school so we didn't have too much to dither over. But as the week of detentions went on and I spent more time with Robbie during the day, Sirius began to get really angry. So angry, that we ended up having a full-on argument that lasted for an hour at the least. I was angry that he was getting angry because I had one friend he didn't like when he would prance about with anyone he pleased. He just got huffy and said Robbie was a bloody cad and div; and also that I should not be associated with that "garbage." And then I called him a stupid ninny who had his head shoved very, very, very, very, very, very, very far up his bum and that I never wanted to speak to him again unless he could pull it out. So we were officially not on speaking terms. I would never tell him, but I felt completely wretched not talking to my very bestest mate. Even if he was the one who was completely wrong.
After a miserable weekend of projects, extra long essays, and studying for our upcoming exams, we all exhausted Monday morning. And a double period of History of Magic was by far, the worst way to start the day. Unfortunately, none of us had a choice, so we put on as-happy-as-we-can-be faces, and made our way to Professor Binns' room for our lesson. I had walked with Robbie's sister to ask her about an assignment we'd had over the weekend and when we got to class she handed me a note from her brother. She winked and told me that Robbie said this was a note of extreme importance. On the outside he wrote "It's like what Billy Shakes-bum says: 'Too snog, or not to snog?' I showed Lily and she laughed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sirius glaring harshly at me, but tried to ignore it. It wasn't even work acknowledging the fight anymore. So I read Robbie's note without any more thoughts of rude boys named Sirius Orion Black.
JoJo,
Love, I've got an offer you canNOT refuse! I'm going to New Zealand with a few mates for the winter holidays. Want to tag along? Jean-Claude and Nina are going. It'll be yuletiding and eating Vegemite with the koala bears and the like!
G'Day, Robbie
PS—And apparently the house has got lots of warded, separate rooms. Eh? Eh?
Ooer, winter holidays? Quite a boyfriend-ish thing to do, which was bizarre since neither of us said anything about us dating. And since when was I the "Luuuurve Of His Life?" And to ask Nina about her not telling her bestest pal about snogging wallabies with her French luuurve. Lily saw me do my so creatively dubbed "about-to-write-back-to-Robbie" look and stopped me.
"You need to pay attention today. You nearly failed the last test he gave us," she chastised.
I stuck my tongue out at her, only to remember than Father Christmas will only give prezzies to the good girls and boys. Bloody conscious. So I began to diligently take notes diligently (Yes, double the diligence. I am just that dedicated.)
Of course, everyone was asleep the moment Professor Binns opened his mouth but I, on the other hand, began writing straight away. Not notes, of course, because who would bother? Robbie's note was on my desk and I tapped my quill on blank parchment, thinking of a response.
I really had no idea if I wanted to go with Robbie for Christmas. While he was a good mate, Christmas was always a time to spend with your bestest mates. And for me that meant spending it at Hoggie avec Jude, Lils, Nina, James, and Remus (not that fucking div with the mentality of a grape). But first I had to find out if Nina was going. Because if she was going I could spend Christmas with one of my loverly pals as well as Robbie. I scratched down a quick note and threw it at her. She wrote back just as quickly.
Sod! I completely forgot about telling you. Jean and I were chatting about it the other night after-- well, the thing is... that's to say, er... JeanandIshagged? Love, Nina
I gave her my owl eyes. She and Jean-Claude had done the Full Monty and she hadn't told me this??! Oh, she was in trouble.
Nina, It's nice that you tell me these things. Luuuurve, A Very Shocked & A Bit Angry Jo
Jo, Well it's hard to just say! "Yeah, Jean and I did 'le baby-making.'" It just sort of happened after the masquerade. And you were all Yuletide like at breakfast the next morning. And all this sixes and sevens over bloody stupid Sirius "In Need Of A Serious Duffing Up" Black! I didn't want to talk about it. But I swear I meant to tell you. Lily and Jude don't know yet, we can talk about it tonight. With Even More Luuurve From, A Sincerely Sorry Nina
Nina, I could never stay mad at you, dahling. Just tell me when these momentous whatsits happen! Which d'you think I care more about, Christmas Cheer or one of my bestest girlfriends having the sexy time? Erlack, so sorry about Sirius. Is it really necessary to be so bloody rude? With Nowhere Near As Much "Amour" From, A Very Understanding Jo
Jo, Thanks. Did you still want to know about the NZ Phun Phestival? Grande Bisées, Nina
Nina, Who's going? But I don't know if I'll go, it won't be right leaving Lily alone. She's my Singleton Chum. And if I do accept Robbie's invite, we will be in the Almost Quite Nearly Dating Agency. And that would be v. v. rude to leave Lily in the dust as I go riding off into my Datesville Taxi with Robbie. She'd be stuck with Remus and Jude doing kissy-poo, James pretending he doesn't want to kissy-poo with her by doing it with Gemma, Peter getting no kissy-poo, and Sirius getting more than kissy-poo from girls whose names he'll never remember. More Grande Bisées (which is what?), Jo
Jo, Grande bisées is "fat kisses" en français. They say silly things, don't they? Well, Robbie, Jean-Claude, me, Jean's cousin (who is bringing whipped cream) Laurent, Amos Diggory, Orlando Myers, Julian Scarlotti and Meg Franco are all going. I'm not too keen on seeing Amos again, but his family's got a huge farm down there. It's all green hills, sheep, and a big lake. As for Datesville with Robbie, you don't have to. Unless you want to. Do you? Lily will be fine with us going, n'inquiete pas (don't worry). You and I can come back to Hoggie before New Years' if you'd like. And when did Peter come back from wherever he was? Love Is All You Need From, Nina
Nina, Dear Zeus, Diggs? What a stupid wanker. Sirius must be taking how to make everyone hate you lessons from him. As long as he (Amos) stays far away from me I'll go. Sheep, you say? And a Frenchman that's not your boyfriend who is bringing whipped cream? I think you've talked me into it, love. And it'll be summer in NZ, won't it? Oh, how splendiliquent! We'll all go skinny dipping on Christmas Morning. Maybe just Laurent et moi will. Ooer, summer Christmas luuurve! I think coming home early is a loverly idea. Lily will no doubt want some of her chums here for New Years'. And Pete? Something about his parents trying to take him out of school. The hullabaloo with this dark wizard on the rise had his mum a little freaked. But he talked them out of it. He'll be back sometime this week. Remus told me last night. I Love You The Best, Jo
Jo, All that's well and good, but you never answered my question. Do you want to date Robbie? I Love You Ya Ya Ya, Nina
I re-read her note a few times. Did I want to date Robbie? He was a great laugh, easy to talk to, and from what I hear from other girls, a brilliant snog. He wasn't bad to look at either. But it's odd to think that maybe I could be over Sirius? Or that I knew he was never going think of me more as a friend? Or even that now? A few weeks ago I was completely enamored and head-over-heels for the bloke, and now I was moving over to a new one rapidly after almost three years. Nina saw me deep in thought and wrote me one last note before deciding it was time to catch up on sleep.
Jo, You want to, I can tell. And I know for a fact he wants to date you. Just go to NZ and see what will happen. Love, Nina
She was quite possibly, the smartest mademoiselle I knew. Even more than Lily. I smiled to myself as I wrote Robbie. When I finished, I read over what I wrote and grinned again. I was over Sirius, the stupid blighter. There's nothing wrong with moving on.
Dear Robbie,
I wish I could go into great length of the indecency in your previous letter, but I would love to accept your invite to New Zealand even more. Nina and I chatted and are now piddling our pantaloonies in excitement. I am a bit upset we'll be spending the holiday in the presence of Amos Diggory. No offence, love, but get better blokes (says the girl who often associates herself with four of the maddest ones in the school). But I will not let Diggory rain on my Christmas parade. Because I will have one of my bestest pallys there, and you as well. Again, thanks for inviting me. What a lovely early Christmas present!
With All The Heavenly Love I Can Muster,
The Goddess of All That Is Sex, Christmas, and John Travolta Lovin', Joni
PS-- Mistletoe, anyone? Ooer.
I fell asleep with a great deal of satisfaction for the rest of class. When that blessed nap and not so blessed class was over, I ran over to Robbie's sister.
"Becca, can you give this to your brother?" I asked.
"Why don't you yourself?" she said. "He's coming down the hallway right now."
I turned around and saw that silly silly bloke coming down the hallway with Jean-Claude. I started to grin from ear to ear, and ran with Nina to greet the two. Jean-Claude and Nina were soon lost in their own little world of kisses and mad luuurve energy. Robbie grinned expectantly, as if we were going to start snogging in the middle of the hallway like our friends. I gave him a "Not In Your Life, Sport" look, and handed him my note.
"I want a response A.S.A.P.," I winked and then walked away.
"You saucy minx!" Robbie accused as I walked off to my next class.
"Wait up, Jo," Jude called after me. She was the only one who took Divination with me because the boys all thought it was a girly class, Lily thought it was porkies (rubbish), and Nina was horrible at it. Not to mention Jude was keen on the professor, which was highly inappropriate (even if he was quite a sex bum).
I started sprinting to the North Tower, with Jude hot on my tail. She was trying to catch up with me, but I refused to let her. All she would do is hound me with questions about Robbie. Nina had given up as of yesterday and Lily was slowly on her way; she was becoming extremely occupied with her Green Monster Syndrome of James and Gemma. Oh, the wonders of James' reverse psychology!
When we reached the Divination classroom, Professor Spektor was already talking in great length about our palm reading. We separated into pairs and began to interpret the possible future of the other.
Jude completely ignored our task at hand (no pun intended!), and turned into the Spanish Inquisition.
"So you were awake last period," she stated. "Obviously not taking notes, because really what's the point? What were you doing?"
"Writing to Robbie. See, Nina and Jean-Claude are going down to New Zealand with a few people for Christmas including Robbie, and he invited me along with. And I don't want to go because I'm going to hate not being here for Christmas, but I want to go, because it's New Zealand, and Jean-Claude's cousin is coming an' some other folks are going and I'd love to spend some time with them... I'll be okay if you hate me for leaving you an' Lils. Nina and I are most certainly coming back in time for New Years' though."
Jude smiled. "Ooh, that'll be fun! The rest of us will have a Very Merry Christmas. Even if we're missing the bestest Christmas Elf ever."
I grinned. "Fanks, hun. I'll send you lot the presents right when I arrive."
"So are you excited to go?" Jude asked.
I nodded. "Yeah. It's weird because Robbie invited me and we talk more through letters than face-to-face, but we're really good friends. And I don't fancy him," I added fiercely.
Jude giggled. "Whatever you say, kid."
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