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Chapter 3- A Lonely September

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did and I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did.

I walked over towards the living room and to the small couch, well it seemed small for me. I tried to lie down on it, but my feet hung over the edge. I watched as Peyton giggled at me, turning on the television, and couldn't help but smile as she mumbled something about the television to herself. She looked back at me, knowing I was smiling at her.

"What type of movie you want to watch?" she asked with an quirky grin.

"Horror." I say in a deep tone, trying to make her laugh.

And she did. "Okay, here you choose. I'm going to go get some blankets. It's cold." She said as she walked up the stairs. I stared after her. Still wanting her so bad.

I choose the movie, just as she came down the stairs with the blankets. I had made myself comfortable, which meant taking up the whole couch and leaving no room for her. She placed the blankets on the ground beside us and looked for a place to sit.

"Here" I said moving my legs so she could sit down. "No its okay, " she smiled as she moved my legs back to where they were and sat in-between them with her small body. Making herself comfortable, as she leaned against my chest. Leaning against me like she used to. Though this time it felt so different. I could feel her soft skin against mine as she covered us with the blanket, waiting anxiously for me to start the movie. I felt my body urge for hers. She moved her arm to get more comfortable and it grazed my thigh, making me instantly become hard. Embarrassed as hell, I quickly moved off the couch onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" she asked innocently, she had no idea the affect her and her body had on me.

"I'm going to sit here." I said firmly. I knew she understood why. I saw her look away.

"At least sit on this," She said as she moved the couch to get the mattress behind it. "It's more comfortable than the ground."

I agreed, and we both got comfortable as I started the movie. Trying as hard as I could to concentrate on the movie and not her.

I pretended to watch the movie as I watched Lucas, I could still taste him on my lips. I glanced away as I felt him notice my stair, but once I knew he wasn't looking, I looked back over at him. I wanted him so bad. I looked up and down his body, his shirt was lifted a bit and his skin was peeking threw, a soft bit of hair was showing, begging me to touch it.

I glanced up at his pouting lips. His kiss was nothing I had ever felt before.

I looked away and then looked down at myself, I had a feeling that I was just another girl to him, just a girl he would sleep with. Actually I wasn't even that, I was 16, and he didn't want a girl like me.

I decided to watch the movie and forget about my thoughts and desires.

I eventually was able to concentrate on the movie and I started to get really into the whole horror of the movie and I had hardly noticed when I jumped down beside Lucas when a scary part came on. I hid my face in his chest. I heard him laugh, as he wrapped an arm around me.

"Is the bad part over?" I whispered terrified of the movie, my heart beating faster and faster.

"Yeah." He laughed. I looked up and smiled at him and continued to watch the movie.

We both hardly noticed when we started to cuddle, the movie made us forget about our little incident in the kitchen. Our minds were too busy concentrating on the movie that our bodies were in control, as my hand rubbed his chest softly and he breathed in my hair.

Lucas was lying down on the small mattress as I laid down beside him, half on top of him, feeling his heartbeat. Another scary part of the movie appeared and I shoved my face in his chest. As I breathed against his chest, I started forgetting about the movie and started thinking how great it felt in his arms. I rubbed my face in his chest softly and felt his body jump, I loved the affect I had on him. I looked up at him and he awkwardly smiled and then looked away again. My hands rubbed his chest and he looked back at me, looking at me the way he looked before he kissed me in the kitchen. But this time he didn't kiss me. He took a deep breath and looked away, his body pulling at little bit away from me.

That's when my body took control of my brain. I sat up and leaned towards the TV and turned it off.

"What are you doing?" Lucas muttered.

Without thinking I pushed him down on the mattress crawling towards him and sitting on top of him as he continued to look confused. I rubbed my hands up his thighs. When he finally realized what I was doing a small moan came from his mouth as his eyes shuttered. I rubbed my hips into his and could feel him get hard under me. It surprised me at first and a weird noise came from my mouth when he pressed up against my sensitive spots. I could tell he liked my reaction as I felt him get harder, making me moan and slightly throw my head back. He looked up at me, with emotions shooting from his eyes as he tried to keep them open.

It felt amazing with her on top of me, though I knew it was wrong, but so right at the same time. I wanted her and she knew that I did as I hardened under her. She looked down at me, with a look I had yet to see. She wasn't that innocent and vulnerable girl in the kitchen. She was confident and knew what she wanted. She wanted me. And boy did I want her.

She smiled softly as she hesitantly leaned down, my hands pulled her the rest of the way and she kissed me. Quickly the kiss escalated as my hands slide down her smooth legs. But before I could continue, she pulled away. Leaving me wanting more. She sat straight up and looked at me, as I breathed loudly. And she removed her top. I gasped, at her actions, at her.

I awkwardly started to move away, "Peyton, I don't think we should be…" She interrupted me, when she fell on top of me, her hard nipples rubbing against my chest. "Oh my God" I groaned as I finished my sentence, not what I intended to say at first, but certain actions had changed my mind. She then began licking and nibbling on the side of my neck, as she ran her hands through my messy hair. My mouth widened, she was making it harder and harder for me to stop. I kept reminding myself that it was wrong. But the more I thought about it, the more it felt so right. I was able to forget about all my doubts when I looked at her, her eyes were closed as she felt me enjoy the feeling of her touch. She was unbelievable.

I smiled as I pulled her face to mine and kissed her, my tongue instantly in her mouth. Her hands, moving across my chest, as mine rubbed her soft breasts. When I touched her it wasn't like in the kitchen, when I grabbed her aggressively, I softly caressed her breasts and I could tell she liked this feeling better. I continued to rub her and I felt her jump at certain movements, I felt her nipples get harder and I glanced down to look. But when I looked down I noticed a few scars, but quickly forgot them, as she kissed me hard. She impatiently tried to remove my t-shirt, as I felt her nails scrap my stomach. But she couldn't, she was about half my size and didn't have much strength to take control. And I was too busy touching and nibbling on her to notice.

She removed her lips from mine, "I'm feeling a little naked here." She whined as she again tried to remove my shirt, I pulled my hands off hers for only a minute, and sat up a little, so she could remove my top. She slowly pulled it off, only making my body urge to touch her again. Her eyes were dark with desire as she stopped half way and leaned down and kissed my chest, my eyes closed enjoying the sensation. As soon as she had finished taking off my shirt, I flipped her over so I was on top.

She giggled, as I smiled. We stopped for a moment and just smiled at each other, we both knew this wasn't just some hook up. It meant more, so much more.

I leaned down slowly positioning my body on hers taking in her scent and the feel of her chest against mine. I nibbled gently up and down her neck. She pressed upwards with her body and wrapped her arms around my neck enjoying every moment of it, as she made little noises with her open mouth. She grabbed my face and kissed me, her teeth biting my bottom lip, as I enjoyed the almost painful but incredible feeling. We made out for a while, our lips and hands never leaving the other's body. We stopped and breathed for a minute when are lips were sore, and turning almost blue. Once I caught my breath, which was long before she had caught hers, I began to kiss her stomach.

"Lucasss.." she giggled, enjoying the feeling for a moment. But it didn't take long until I felt her legs rubbing down mine; it took me a moment to realize that she was trying to remove my pants. I stopped. I pulled away, sitting up, I laughed.

"Man, you are really impatient!"

"What can I say? I like to get to the point!" she smirked, winking at me. "Now take those off." She grinned pointing to my pants.

"Yes, Mme." I said with a straight face, standing up and beginning to pull them down.

"Wait!" she yelled, I stopped instantly as she stood up. She gently placed her hands on the top of the elastic waist band. "Let me." She whispered seductively in my ear. I felt my body warm from her words. I smiled as she began to slowly take them off.

When the pants dropped I felt her eyes on me. I was usually confident. I had been with a lot of girls. But at this moment I felt a little self-conscious. She must have felt me hesitate, because she gave me a comforting smile.

Just then she did something that shocked me. She quickly removed her shorts and stood confidently in front of me. I smiled as I leaned in and kissed her, her arms wrapping around my neck, pulling me close as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist. She pulled her lips away from mine, as I continued to hold her around me, "Do you have any condoms?" She asked awkwardly as we fell to the mattress once again. Her on top of me.

"I dunno, are you on the pill?" I asked without thinking as I leaned in to kiss her but she stopped me with an obvious look. Then I realized it. She was a virgin. Shit.

She knew I figured it out, as I slowly moved her off of me and stood up. I saw tears form in her eyes. I looked around the room. What was I doing, not only was this wrong in the first place, but now I was going to be her first time.

"This doesn't change anything, does it?" she stuttered, her eyes not looking at me but at her hand that was tracing circles on the mattress.

"Of course it does. I can't… I just won't do this," I snapped as I turned and walked away from her, it wasn't her fault it was mine. I couldn't do this to her. I knew that no matter what happened this would never work and she would get hurt and no matter what I said, this would still happen. I couldn't hurt her like this. As I walked away, I hardly noticed her stand up until, I felt her grab my arm and pull me back; she leaned in and kissed me. Her soft lips torturing me. I wanted so bad just to give in and be with her, but I couldn't. I felt horrible when I pushed her lips away.

"Please don't do this." She cried, knowing there was nothing she could say or do to change my mind.

I hated hearing her cry, but I knew that I couldn't go through with this. It was wrong, in so many ways.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this." I whispered as I brushed her arm off mine, grabbed my clothes and went upstairs. I quickly looked back to see her lying on the mattress crying.

I knew it hurt her, but I wasn't going to be that guy, the guy who just slept with the girl and left. I had been that guy for other girls. But I wasn't going to be this time. As I stared at her, I felt how much she meant to me, she didn't deserve this. Her first time deserved to be special and unforgettable. She deserved better than me. And I knew the only way to prove that was to leave. As I walked up the stairs to my room, I shut the door and began putting my clothes on, I stared in the mirror at the person I was. I laid down on the bed ashamed. I knew I could never face her again.

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did and I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did. And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did and you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did.

sooo much more to come!!! read and review.