AN: The clinic was in Windemere, and now Alexis, Sam, and the rest of the family are staying with Nikolas on Spoon Island. In my world they've figured out that Manny was the shooter.

Sorry about all the sap

I leave the door to my suite ajar. I listen to the girls play below. Kristina being Cinderella and Molly her fairy God Mother. Kristina racing up and down the South Hall, one minute she is Sasha Cohen, the next she is Mia Hamm scoring the winning goal. Ric, Alexis or Viola reign her in occasionally, but her joy is infectious.

Sometimes I hear her beg "Mommy, can't I please go visit Sam? She might be lonely up there alone!" "Daddy," she might try next "Sam didn't have dessert. I have to take her a cookie." I hadn't realized how close she was to Ric. I'm surprised, but he is a father to her in all the ways Sonny could never be. Playful, patient, and most of all stable. She can count on him, the way she counts on air to breathe.

Alexis and Ric are reluctant to give her permission to visit. They are still wary of me and the girls. Sometimes I watch them together and wonder what Lila would be doing. Would she be delegated a Prince Charming, or insist on being Snow White? I ache missing her, but hugging Kristina or holding Molly eases the pain…most of the time. I can't explain it to Alexis, Jason would understand. I push him to the back of my mind. Next to Lila, next to Danny.

I hear the tap on my door while I'm dressing for bed. Alexis coming to 'tuck me in'. That's how she explains her visits to Kristina. Every night since Dr. Reilly released me from medical supervision, Alexis comes up to my suite with a pot of tea and we talk. I look forward to and dread these talks. Sometimes we laugh, finding something in common or share a story of happy times. But often unintentionally, something painful arises. I make a mental check list of things I shouldn't bring up. Danny, baby Lila, Jason, Manny. But the real taboo is my father, the man who got Alexis pregnant when she was only 16. Did she love him? Did he love her? Was it a one night stand or a stolen affair? Who is he?
She tells me about the island: Playing with Stefan on holiday; worshipping her 'Uncle' Mikkos with an unhealthy dose of terror; her total and complete fear of Helena. How long it took her to realize just why Helena hated her so much.

I learn about my grandmother, who Alexis lost so horribly, so early. About the first Kristina, the baby 5 year old Natasha hid from Helena.

She begins to change the bandage on my back. She is gentle, but it is painful. She sees the wound and thinks of Jason, she thinks of Manny. She says it looks good. Her voice catches. "Don't Mom…Its okay…" I say. I say, "It's not your fault."

She will leave soon. I know she is fighting tears. The bandage represents so much. My stomach clenches. Just this once, don't go, don't let it win. "Alexis" I say in a voice so small, I'm not sure she hears. "Will you…" I stop.

"What Sam?"

"It's silly…nothing…" I try to stand up too quickly. It hurts and I cry out. She is there instantly, steadying me with the flat of her hand. I turn and try to smile. "I'm going to bed now…" I mean to walk away, but don't.

"Sam would it be alright with you…" Alexis starts. "Sam, could I tuck you in?"

I can't answer. Instead of saying anything I cry, I'm not sure why, but I can't make it stop.

"Just this once, you can be my little girl." She gently pulls me into an embrace.

"I missed you. I've missed you so much." I hear myself say, and realize that it is somehow true.

Eventually we make it into my room. Alexis sits on my bed, fluffs a pillow, and arranges my blankets. I close my eyes as she tells a story I've heard her tell Kristina, about a princess on an island. She strokes my hair and I fall asleep not sure if the princess is Alexis, Kristina, or me.