this is not one of my favourite chapters, but it was needed. but the next chapter will be well worth it. ;)

enjoy!

Chapter 9- Call It Karma

And I know I need your comfort, but this drama makes me sick
And the longer I lay here I know it's harder to get up
without you.

I finally got the confidence to knock on her door, though it took me three times after turning around and leaving. But I needed to talk to her. We both needed to talk. We had just had sex without a condom, without even hesitating. Though I wasn't going to lie, it was incredible.

But it hadn't been a pleasure that we hadt felt before, it wasn't soft and loving. It was rough and passionate. I wasn't sure if that was what she had wanted. I treated her in a manner that I knew wasn't right. I was 21 and she was 16. It was my responsibility to take care of her. But every time I was around her this almost soft like fog was all around me, making it extremely hard for my brain to even function.

I knocked again, when she didn't answer the door, I stepped in. Where I looked to her bed, she was under her covers and I could hear her crying. It was a quiet whimper that was so much worse than an actual cry.

I sat on the bed not quite sure what to say or do.

She took down the covers from her face, revealing her tear covered eyes, but she wouldn't look at me, she looked almost embarassed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as tried to stop her from crying, my hand caressing her arm.

She sat up, as I saw more tears come from her eyes. "Don't even." she stopped for a moment. " Don't even blame yourself. This was all my fault." she said with pain in her voice. I knew she was upset with herself, but she had no reason to be.

"No, it was my fault. I'm supposed to responsible. I should have stopped it." I stated, my hands rubbing her bed instead of her arm, it had only made things more uncomfortable, when my hand was rubbing soft circles on the inside of her arm.

"How the hell was it your fault? I was the one who grabbed you and seduced you into having sex with me. I just ripped off your clothes. You tried to stop." She looked away embarrassed even talking about it. I went to talk but she interrupted " You were right when you said I was a slut and easy."

I felt a sharp hint of pain from her words. I wished I could go back and stop myself from saying those stupid things. I was such an ass.

"No, you are not." I snapped getting her attention. "Peyton, I'm the only guy you've ever been with and it's normal to want to have sex. I get it. It's something new, something you've never done before. And it was incredible. I mean come on how would it not be?" I smirked gesturing to my body trying to lighten the situation.

I finally was able to make her laugh.

"But you shouldn't feel ashamed." I said after her laughter. She just smiled at me.

"And when I called you those names. I only said those things because I was upset, stupid and stubborn because you didn't want to be with me. I felt myself getting my heart broken and I just acted like an asshole. You've been yourself all along. You are honest. You show me who you are, everything. The good, the bad. And I want all of it." My eyes concentrated on hers as I spoke. The pain in her eyes had began to fade, but it was still there.

"What are we going to do?" She said after a moment of silence, in almost a child-like tone.

"About what?" I wasn't quite sure what she was talking about.

"We just had sex without a condom." she looked away, grinding her teeth at even the talk of it.

"Yeah.. well there is the morning after pill, I can take you to get it tomorrow when we go skiing. if you want?" he looked away not sure if that's what I wanted to hear, but I knew he was only trying to help.

"Okay." I answered, I knew that was the only answer.

"I'm sorry." he muttered.

"Don't" I pulled his face towards me.

"What?" his now green eyes pierced my heart.

"Don't apologize." I smiled, "None of this was your fault. You are always trying to do good for me and you treat me like a princess. This wasn't your fault and I will never blame you for it." I saw him smile as I kissed his cheek. "You mean so much to me, and I never want you to feel like you are responsible for everything just because you are older. You have enough to take care of and I don't want to be a burden. I want you to be with me because you want to, not because you feel obligated to. "

"I've never felt that way." he said sincerely, as I felt his heart beat softly against my skin, as he leaned in closely.

"I love you." the words escaped my lips for the first time without having time to think them through. The words surprised me, but once they were said I knew that I truely did love him, and the only reason I was running from this was because I was scared. Scared that he wouldn't love me back.

I was nervous at my forwardness but that was only until I saw his eyes glow. He quickly leaned in and kissed me softly. My eyes shuting slowing. It was first kiss, my first kiss where I was kissing the man I loved.

"I love you." He mummbled on my lips.

He then stood up leaving me wanting more as he went for the door.

"Where you going?" I asked with a smile at his pouncing figure.

"I have to go run somewhere." he smirked closing the door. I laughed to myself and I finally got out of bed and headed to take a shower. The sadness was gone, It was almost like some sort of miracle. But I knew deep down, that even if it sounded extremely cheesy, that miracle was love.

Yup. That sounded cheesy.

I got showered and dressed with a smile planted on my face with everything I did. I swear Haley's parents thought I had gone crazy.

We all spent the rest of the night in the living room. Talking about our plans for the next day. Haley and Nathan were going skiing together as well as her parents. Since it was my first time skiing, everyone (accept Haley) agreed that Lucas should teach me because he had been skiing since he was 3 years old and I well. I sucked.

I watched as Haley looked awkwardly at both of us, still unsure if she could trust us alone. Although she had forgiven Lucas and I, I knew our friendship would never be the same, and I couldn't blame her for being angry.

I looked over at Nathan who was smiling from Lucas and back to me. I had no idea what I had done for him to treat me like this. It was like he just turned evil. One minute we were friends, the next he hated me or something.

Haley's parents left for the night and Nathan said he would be along shortly, it was going to be a long day tomorrow.

We talked for awhile and tried my best to get along with Nathan, which was almost impossible.

Haley went upstairs to change into her pajamas. Leaving Lucas, Nathan and me all alone.

There wasn't a word said for almost two minutes. But then Nathan spoke, "So I'm guessing you two are going to have lots and lots of sex tomorrow." he smirk.

I saw Lucas jump, his eyes filling with anger. I stopped him from getting close to Nathan. As Nathan just laughed.

"And very subtle way of hiding a hicky with a turtle neck. Smart move Peyton." He grinned gesturing to my turtle neck. Although he was an asshole, he definately wasn't stupid.

"What's your problem?" I snapped at Nathan, once I had finally calmed Lucas down.

"I just can't believe that you two are sneaking around like this, and don't pretend you're not. I can see right through your little games. You two already hurt Haley once. She told me. I just can't believe you're continuing it." He stated, he was speaking truth, but it wasn't supposed to be like this. We didn't want to hurt anyone, we just wanted to be together.

"Fuck you man, we aren't doing anything wrong. " Lucas snapped instantly back at him, knowing that that was partially a lie.

"Actually you are, it's illegal. I don't think that 21 year old guys are aloud to have a sexual relationship with a 16 year old slut." His eyes were dark as he spoke.

"Just stay the hell away from us." I snapped back before Lucas had a chance to. My arms were holding Lucas back.

"Ain't that cute, your little girl is sticking up for you." Nathan laughed.

Lucas got away from my grip as he shoved Nathan. Nathan almost falling.

"Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like this? You better back up, before I send your little sorry ass through that wall." Lucas yelled, and he was definately serious.

"Whatever.Just next time you two plan to fuck, make sure some one doesn't walk in." He snapped back at Lucas, while glancing back at me.

He winked in my direction, " Yeah, when your done with her, give me a pass. I loved to get some hot Peyton sex." He smirked, gesturing towards Lucas's neck where there were bite marks.

My eyes widened at his comment. Lucas swung his fist right into his face.

He chuckled looking down at his swollen lip before leaving to say goodnight to Haley.

Leaving Lucas and I there. Tears fell from my eyes from Nathan's comments, as I leaned into Lucas's chest. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me safely.

"Do you think we should tell Haley?" I stuttered out in his chest.

"I think so." I knew he didn't really want to from how hard it was for him to even say that.

"I don't want to hurt her." I mummbled taking a deep breath as I pulled away from his chest, looking up towards the stairs to see if anyone was watching.

"We have no choice, once we get it in the open, the easier it will be for us to be together. For real." He half smiled, as made fun of him, half smiling back.

We kissed and went to bed, thinking of each other, but hoping that we were making the right decision.

I woke up the next morning to Peyton jumping on my bed.

"Get up, Get up. Get up." She giggled, her curls floating in the air.

She knew we would have to get up early to catch Haley before she left, but why did she have to wake we up this way.

I turned my head up from my pillow, Peyton staring down at me, laughing her head off, at my expression.

"You thinks this is funny." I asked, my eyes barely open.

"Yeah, I do." She stuck her tongue out at me, stepping of the bed.

She pointed at me, gesturing for me to get up.

She helped me find my robe and we took a deep breath before we walked out.

I peeked in Haley's room as we walked down the hall, she wasn't there. I knew she must be down downstairs. I hugged Peyton tightly before we went downstairs.

"Everything is going to be okay. Okay?" I knealed down so I was eye view with her.

"Okay." she smiled softly before we headed downt he stairs.

But when we got there, Haley was gone. She had left a note saying they had left an hour earlier. A sigh of relief came at me, but I knew that if we didn't tell her now, we would have to still hide our relationship until later, which made it so much harder.

Not in the mood to go skiing quite yet. Well, I was, but Peyton wasn't.

So, Peyton and I decided to go relax in the hot tub. As usual I was there first waiting for Peyton. Five minutes later, she joined me.

She removed her towel revealing a black bikini. She smiled at me as my eyes surveyed her body.

"Pig." she snapped, jokingly. I smirked as she sat beside me in the hot tub She slowly grew accustom to the temperature. We sat there staring at one another.

"Hey." I smirked as she smiled at me, "Hey."

She was just so adorable, and sexy and beautiful.

I leaned towards her, wrapping my arms around her. And at that moment everything was perfect. We could be together without worrying, without thinking about how hard it was going to be to make this work.

"I was thinking we could go skiing later on around 2, that would give you plenty of time to learn .And plenty of time for falling." I laughed, as she pulled away from our hug.

"Hey," she shoved me playfully. "I'm not gonna be that bad."

I rolled my eyes as she shoved me harder.

"Hey," I laughed, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her towards me. She giggled as I tickled her sides.

Her face moved close to mine I kissed her, and she kissed me back. But she quickly pushed me away as moved to the other side of hot tub.

"Where'd you go?" I asked confused, but smirking.

"Not now, what if Haley and Nathan come back." she stated, but i knew that wasn't the deal.

"They aren't coming home til 9." I stated, as I moved beside her, kissing her neck, but she didn't move.

I stopped after a minute or two, noticing she wasn't responding, which was quite odd, considering I was giving her my A game.

"Come on Peyton, what happened to that girl in the sexy lingerie from yesterday?" I whispered in her ear. She aggressively shoved me off her and this time I knew it wasn't a joke.

"Woah, Peyton. What's wrong?" Confused by her anger.

"I'm not just here for you fuck whenever you want! I'm not your slut, or the girl who just does whatever you want when you want. I won't be that girl that you can just rip her clothes of and leave marks on her body." She yelled and I knew this outburst had a deeper meaning.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I swear I will never treat you like that again." I said, now understanding why she mad. She looked surprised that I had firgured out what she really mad about so quickly.

"And I don't want you to be that girl." I said confused by why she thinking this, I didn't want her to think this.

"Then why are you doing this?" She snapped, her eyes went from angered to hurt in only seconds.

"Doing what? Kissing you?" I questionned unable to convince her.

"No, you were trying to do more. And I'm not just going to have sex with you anytime and anywhere. We don't even have any condoms. I won't be this irresponsible for my future!" She yelled as she went to get out of the hot tub. But I stopped her, my arm grabbing hers.

"I didn't mean for you to feel that way. I want you to think I respect you, because I do. And I wasn't trying to have sex with you here, I just wanted to kiss you. I like kissing you. Is that so wrong?" I grinned as a smiled formed on her face, and she sat back down in the hot tub. I definately had a secret power to make her happy, with everything I did.

"And trust me, I will never let anything like yesterday happen again. I will always take responsibility for this relationship. Because I don't want anything to happen that will change the feeling I feel niw." She smirked at me.

She smirked. She stepped towards me as she leaned in and kissed me. "I like kissing you too." she said between kisses, as I smiled on her lips.

It had been a long day. I got up at 6, and met up with Nathan. And boy did he look cute in his snow gear. We wanted to get to the hill early so we left right away. We spent the day at the hill. It was amazing, the snow, the hill, everything.

It was now 12 and we were meeting up with my parents for lunch, but when we got there, I saw Brooke, Nathan's sister and Peyton's friend and another one of Peyton's friends, I had seen her before but didn't know her name.

"Hey." I smiled, stepping towards my mom.

"Hey sweety, how was your day?" my mom kissed me on the cheek.

"Great." I smiled looking at Nathan as he smiled back at me, let's just say we didn't spent all of our time on the hill.

"Oh, they are here to see Peyton. Isn't that sweet. I told them they could stay with Peyton in her room." My mom gestured to Haley's friends, as Nathan and Brooke talked.

"Oh, great." I smiled at both of them as we entered the car.

"We aren't gonna go to lunch, until we go see Peyton. Her and Lucas haven't gone skiing yet, I called earlier and Lucas said they were going skiing around 2. So I'm thinking they are still home." My mom said to me as we turned to corner to the cabin.

"Sounds good." I said getting out of the car. We all entered the house, and saw no sign of Peyton or Lucas.

"They must be out in the back." My mom said. As we all walked to the backyard.

We turned the corner towards the hot tub. And I couldn't believe my eyes...again.

There was Lucas leaning over a half naked Peyton as they made out. His hands removing her top and her hands rubbed his back.

I felt my heart break again.

Goodbye, old friend
Goodbye, goodnight
I'll move on
You'll call it fate, I'll call it karma.

oooh shit she found out again, and so did everyone else. ahaha. yeah its not that funny. but i hope u liked it.

you know what to do.