i know i just put chapter 9 up, but i'm feeling generous. you better be too ;)
Chapter 10-Short Stories With Traject Endings
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
With no last kiss and no good bye.
My lips were all over him, tasting anything I could of his sweet and delicious body. I just couldn't control this feeling I had when around him. I wanted him soo much and all the time, I just couldn't get enough of him.
I groaned softly when he licked the insides of my mouth, his rough tongue rubbing over my shivering teeth and massaging my tongue. He began tugging on my bathing suit top and I instantly pulled off my bathing suit top, as he stopped, his eyes directly connecting with mine. He was unsure if I was just doing this in the heat of the moment or if I really wanted to. I gave him a reassuring look that I wanted to continue as I kissed him again and he wrapped around me waist. I pulled him in, not bearing the distance that was created between us. I felt his arm shake when I pressed my breasts against his chest as his lips covered my neck and a moan escaped my mouth. I pushed my body closer to him, getting as close as possible, showing him that I wanted to continue. I wrapped my arms around him, his firm body connecting to my weakened figure, as his lips traced down my neck. My eyes were unable to keep open, as I fluttered to stay conscious, the feeling taking over my body and mind.
It was almost enough to keep me from reality, but I then heard a unfamiliar noise, and quickly noticed that it wasn't coming from Lucas or me to my surprise.
I opened my eyes.
A sight I was unprepared for, faced me front and center.
There was Haley, Nathan, Haley's parents and my two friends Brooke and Bevin staring directly at Lucas and I. Unable to speak I watched as they stared at us. It almost felt to sureal to be true, so I waited for something, anything to tell me that this was actually happening. But Lucas was not bothered, he continued to kiss down my neck. His hand rubbing my bare chest as he moaned loudly.
"Does this feel good?" he whispered sensually as he leaned down and kissed my breasts as he rubbed his thumb over them. I cringed at his words, knowing that he would regret them later.
Although enjoying the feeling, I pushed him away. His eyes looking into mine, his hazy glow never leaving me as he tried to kiss me again. I shoved him off, not knowing how to tell him.
"Lucass." I hissed, getting his attention as I looked for my bikini top. He moved instantly off me once he noticed. His hands moving instantly off me and sliding to the other end of the hot tub. His jaw wide open.
He covered his mouth, starlted as I pulled on my bikini top.
No one talked, they all starred in shock except for Haley who stormed off, slamming the door. I looked over at Nathan who smirked arrogantly at Lucas. Before running off after Haley.
I saw Brooke and Bevin staring at me in shock, but it didn't take long before Brooke gave me a big thumbs up. Normally I would laugh at this, but now was not the time
Haley's parents gasped, they were the people I was most ashamed for seeing me like this. I grew up with them, they were like my second family. I was like their daugther. But I had a feeling things were going to change after they had seen me like this. Half naked, with their nefew on top of me. Yeah, things were definately going to change.
"Let me explain." Lucas tried to say to his aunt and uncle, after a long while of silence.
"Get out of the hot tub! NOW!" John ordered, his eyes were angered but I couldn't blame him. This was quite a situation.
We both got out wrapping towels around ourselves. John's eyes surveying our bodies, still in shock from what he had just seen. He was unable to believe that all of this had happened.
Lucas glanced over at me awkwardly. How were we going to explain ourselves? But mostly what was going to happened between us after this?
I watched as Aunt Rebecca forced Brooke and Bevin into the cabin, knowing that John was going to flip.
Leaving us three to talk.
Lucas went to talk again, but John wouldn't let him, so Lucas shut up/
" I am very disappointed.: John directed right at Lucas, but then glanced over me, "With both of you."
"I don't care how or why this happened." He looked at both of us like we were disgusting animals. We didn't speak or move.
"But it's not going to continue. Peyton." He looked in my direction as I adjusted my towel, feeling extremely embarrassed that everyone had seen me half naked. "I'm taking you home tonight and if you don't want your parents to find this out, you two will stop whatever you're doing." I looked over at Lucas and I felt a sudden sadness come over me, I had to be with him.
"And for you." He pointed at Lucas, but Lucas didn't look up. I felt sorry at that moment for Lucas. No matter what he always got the most blame for this, and it was because of his age, I always knew that.
"I want you to pack your stuff and leave. You are not living with us any longer." Lucas looked up in confusion. He didn't expect his uncle to kick him out.
"Are you serious?" I said, sticking up for him, knowing that this was totally unfair.
"This isn't his fault, I'm old enough to make my own decisions to. He didn't force me into anything." I snapped, totally regretting so after, knowing I shouldn't have said that.
"Peyton, this isn't your place, go pack your stuff." John snapped and I knew he was definitely serious, I looked over at Lucas with a sympathetic look as I left them to pack my stuff. I knew I couldn't change John's mind, even if I tried.
I entered my room after a few awkward conversations with Brooke and Bevin to pack my stuff. The conversations mostly included the questions, 'how had this happened?'
'Had I slept with him?' and 'Was he good?'. The last one obviously from Brooke.
I didn't care to answer any of them.
I fell upon my bed, staring at the ceiling. How had I made such a mess of this? Love always seemed to be so hard to grasp before, and now that I had it. It wasn't right, first of all. We were sneaking around, second of all he is 21 year old. And third, we both knew that it would be a long shot to make this work. But it was love, and nothing would change that.
I bit my lip, I was nervous for Lucas. What was going to happen?
I quickly cleaned my room and got dressed. I needed to talk to him. Once I finished packing my stuff I snuck to his room, making sure everyong still thought I was in my own room. And there I waited for him.
My mind keep thinking of the worst sceneros possible, so I started cleaning up his room a little and packing his stuff to keep my mind off everything.
He came into his room a few minutes later and slammed the door not knowing I was in there, but he looked even angrier when he saw I was there.
"Hey" I smiled at him, his clothes in my hand.
"What are you doing?" he snapped at me, when he saw that I had his clothes, His angry startling me.
"I was just cleaning up for you." I said softly as I put his clothes down. I knew he was angry and he had every right to be, so I didn't want to start a fight with him.
He ignored what I said, giving me a displeased glare as he removed his towel. Grabbing his black shirt and throwing it on. He went to remove his shorts but looked over at me. His eyes and hand gestures telling me to turn around.
I rolled my eyes at him, "You're kidding right?" I laughed. It wasn't anything i hadn't seen before, and plus I liked seeing it.
"Just turn around. God, I don't want to be naked in front of you right now!" he snapped at me, throwing his towel in my direction.
"What is your problem, Lucas?" I snapped back at him standing up from the bed. Sure I didn't want to start a fight but he was acting like a child.
He laughed arrogantly at me, 'I'll tell you what my problem is. I have no where to go Peyton. I have no place to live now. And this is all because..." He stopped.
"Because what?" I snapped loudly at him as I pushed him backwards catching him off balance.
"Because you had sex with a sixteen year old... because you messed up," I shoved him again, my heart breaking with my words."because you got caught!" I screamed at him as I felt tears come.
"Because I love you." He whispered to me as he pulled me in for a hug. I had not expected him to spill those words. In a way I was hoping for him to say one of my options, knowing that this answer was the only one that made the situation and our decision soo much harder to make, without breaking both our hearts or without ruining our relationships with our family and friends.
"Run away with me." He placed his hands on my face, lifting my chin as he pulled me forward wiping away my tears, but I just cried more.
"I can't." I whimpered against his hand.
"Why not?" he asked, his face wrinkling up.
I pushed him away. "Lucas don't." I cried, he couldn't do this to me.
"What? I just want to be with you." His voice became raspy, a nervousness in his normally stable voice.
"But we can't." I stated before I leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips. It seemed as though it was a goodbye kiss. It was what I intended it to be.
But he pulled me closer, his lips devouring mine as his hands began to undo my top while my body shook, my eyes filling with tears. He nibbled on the side of my neck as I tried not to close my eyes and enjoy it. I knew it couldn't be.
I pushed him away. "Lucas stop. Sex doesn't just fix every problem. It's what caused this problem." I yelled walking to the other side of the room. I hadn't intended on yelling at him, but I knew that if I could get him angry with me, he wouldn't be able to change my mind about leaving with him, because I felt myself caving every moment. I grabbed his clothes and began packing them, trying to distract myself from imaging me running away with him and being happy.
"What the fuck is your problem?" he yelled in anger. His voice sharp and painful to my ears.
"Don't do this." I said softly as I packed his boxers into his bag. Every moment the pain grew stronger and stronger, the thought of us together forever, fading and disappearing.
"I don't understand what the hell I'm doing wrong. You're the one who is pushing me away." He grabbed the clothes out of my hand and threw them on ground. Getting my attention, knowing that I was trying to distract myself.
"Because this can't happen. We can't be together. No one thinks this can work." I cried as I sat down on his bed, not once looking him in those paralyzing eyes that were burning holes in my head.
"Then leave." He snapped I looked up and saw him pointing to the door instantly.
"Lucas.." I tried to reason with him as I stood and placed my hand on his arm, I knew he didn't mean it.
"Leave!" He screamed and I could see the pain in his eyes.
I let go of his arm as I went to the other side of the room and picked up my bag and headed to the door. I knew he didnt mean it at all, but I also knew this was the only way of leaving him, without actually having to leave. The coward's way out. I knew that.
I went to leave but I couldn't leave like this. I had to say something, anything.
"I just want you to know that I love you and nothing will change that." I said looking deep into his eyes before turning and leaving, never loving him more then in that moment, but never knowing if I'd ever see that beautiful face again.
My heart burned instantly when I awoke from yet another one of 'those' dreams that I was having too often lately. My nightmares had changed from painful memories from the past that made my happy life miserable to wonderful memories from the past that made my somewhat painful life a tad bit happier. But as the dream would fade the happiness of it would too.
The dreams felt so real that I couldn't even image that it had actually been two years since I had walked out of those doors and out of his life. Starting a life I had never planned to, and regretting so many of my decisions I had made following that day, but knowing that those decisions had changed my life for better and for worse.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment. And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is
a reminder of what I'll never have.
kind of a short chapter, but it had alot of meaning. hope you like it. and trust me soooo much more to come.