Disclaimer- How I hate making these things but as everyone knows, we writers own little more than a scribbled notebook of notes, a smudgy monitor and lots of writer's block. Squaresoft (or SquareEnix now) owns these characters but they don't own my imagination and that's why I write this piece of my mind.
Author Notes- Thanks to CT for pointing out my transition errors. They have been fixed now. Please read and review!
Chapter 4
"So you'll dance with someone you don't even know, but you can't stand being around me?" -Quistis Trepe
Quistis tapped the glass of her untouched champagne absentmindedly. Smiling politely, she added a few of her own comments to a conversation with several Garden instructors, a few of them the very same ones who had asked to revoke her former teaching license because they were skeptical of her abilities. Supposedly they had said she lacked "leadership qualities," but she always had a gut feeling that it was more about her incredible climb from an orphaned child without a past to the youngest instructor in Garden history. Not to mention she was immensely more popular with the students because she lacked the strict and often cold character of the older instructors.
Whether it was jealously or not, they certainly seemed to have forgotten it now with the awed look they gave her whenever she even blinked. She would have rolled her eyes but her rational mind was always keeping her in check. For once she wouldn't have minded to have one of Seifer's smart-ass comments right about now. Taking a sip from her glass, she forced the strong drink down her throat in hopes of drowning out their shallow talk.
"We really should begin accepting more student applicants for teaching licenses, don't you agree?""Oh yes, absolutely. I have always said, Garden always need fresh, young blood into our staff,"
Ha! Whatever.
"What are your feelings on this Instructor Trepe?"
Oh, she thought. Now they were calling her an instructor again. Smiling coolly, she replied, "In regard to your question instructor Markus, I too believe that Garden could benefit with having younger staff members who can better relate with their cadets."
The usually stiff and strict instructor beamed with satisfaction.
"But I do wonder instructor," she smiled venomously. "Why do you address me as an instructor when you know very well that I am simply a SeeD member now? Correct me if I am wrong, but was it now you who requested that I be removed from my teaching job?"
The color from his face dropped several shades and his pupils dilated, and the only response he could choke out was a gulp. The other instructors held their breath; their eyes growing wide and looked as if they were expecting her to crack out her whip any second.
She had enough of this nonsense. Smiling with an icy charm, she inclined her head slightly but still fixed a frosty glare on the trembling senior instructor and turned to find a more inviting group.
After only five steps, there was a loud gasp from a large group of students who looked like they were in a state of a trance.
None other but the Trepies. Mentally sighing, she took a sharp right turn, hoping to lose the drooling obsessive students in the crowd.
Since the aftermath of the Balamb Garden battle, she had gained even more popularity among the students. Her heroics of fighting Garden Master Norg and Galbadian troops had almost become legendary by now, although she had no doubt it was greatly exaggerated. The tales of her fending off legions of soldiers and defeating the most vicious monsters in the wild had spread like a wildfire, and her own fan club had multiplied from a small group to practically an army.
At first she thought the whole idea of a club devoted to her was amusing, and even flattering but now they were just becoming a bit of a nuisance. She couldn't get a cup of tea from the cafeteria without having them practically kissing the floor she walked on. If she were brasher like Zell, she would have bashed their skulls in by now. But even that wouldn't stop them for long. Besides, she didn't want to be a bad influence on the younger students. She was the youngest instructor ever.
She would just have to deal with it.
Taking another sip, she gave up on trying to drink anymore. Champagne just wasn't her cup of tea. Handing off the glass to a nearby waitress, Quistis suppressed a yawn and found a seat in the farthest corner of the room, hoping she could have a moment to herself.
A large portion of the female students had exchanged their uniforms for dresses, and the ballroom was practically alive with the waltzing couples, with brisk and flashy Galbadian students moving with efficient, executed movements while Trabian students spun in a folkloric, joyous way. But no couple from Galbadia, Trabia or even Balamb could rival Squall and Rinoa, who dominated the dance floor as the center of admiration and envy.
Quistis even found herself watching curiously.
Their steps were fluid and perfectly matched. Each sweep of the leg and swing of the arm was performed with a natural aptness. Rinoa's spinning crystalline white dress was the envy of all the girls and her raven colored hair that fell down on her pale skin as she danced dumbstruck the men.
Even Irvine, the infamous lady-killer who had locked arms with two girls on each side was grinning in appreciation. Squall's sharp features with his dark hair and the scar that crossed his face gave him a serious, but stoically handsome appearance that had been dubbed the "Leonhart look." As they danced to the Dollet musical composition, Squall looked somewhat different. Something appeared while he moved on the ballroom Quistis had never seen from him before in all the years she had known him, even if most of those memories were hazy.
When they at last finished the final part, with hands clutched and bodies pressed together; Quistis noticed perhaps one of the most rare moments she would ever see. Squall's usual grim face broke into a smile. Faint, but certainly genuine. Their indifferent, silent, anti-social leader was now in love. All their matchmaking had certainly paid off. It had been a year since the SeeD inauguration and Squall and Rinoa were as captivating as ever. She even found herself clapping admiringly for their "commander."
Quistis was happy for them. Truly, she was.
"You really are an excellent student. Even that dance was perfect,"
"Thank you,"
Pause.
"Yes?"
"So you'll dance with someone you don't even know, but you can't stand being around me?"
She suddenly felt drained. And the overly bright chandeliers and the fixed sounds of conversations weren't helping either. Pushing up from her seat, she turned towards the exit. Nodding at a few students, she left without word and thankfully, without anyone noticing her departure from the night's festivities.
After reaching her dorm, she flicked on the lights, taking off her delicately framed glasses where she placed them on her desk. Rummaging through her dresser, she found a bathrobe and headed for the tiny shower in her cramped dorm room. Not that she could complain though. She did refuse Cid's request that she be allowed to keep her old instructor room that was easily twice as spacious as this. It was only fair that since she was now a full time SeeD, she abided by the same restriction as everyone else.
The single bed was made, covered in clean, white, linen sheets. The few possessions she owned lay on her desk. A photo of her and Xu after their first real battle, one foot on the defeated body of a grat with triumphant grins and crossed arms.
A group picture of the "new" orphanage gang taken shortly after Ultimecia was defeated stood off to the side with humble Cid and graceful Edea in the center, flanked with cocky Zell who stood in a half fighting position, fists clenched and teeth gleaming and bouncy Selphie who was prancing on one foot. Irvine, being the tallest of all of them had both arms slung around the shoulders of willowy Ellone with her soft all knowing smile and herself, which she remembered all too well trying to back hand him while smiling for the camera at the same time.
Rinoa, the new adopted member of the "gang" leaned slightly against Squall, who stood almost aloofly to the side and appeared uncomfortable had not he been holding hands with Rinoa. Only Seifer wasn't in the picture but it couldn't be helped. He may have been saved from the Sorceress' control but his reputation for ordering the invasion of Balamb Garden and the missile strikes against Trabia had earned him hatred even among the youngest students.
She hadn't even seen him since their last encounter. Even Edea was having a difficult time being accepted as the Headmaster's wife.
Turning on the showerhead, she allowed the steaming vapor to envelop her senses and soothe her weary muscles. Her mind drifted into a calm rapture, drowning out cheering crowds and dance music in a cascade of hot water. It was then when her mind was at ease; she could turn her undivided attention to the most pressing question.
At the time they had merely given it a thought. No one questioned it before because they each knew what had to be done. They did not have the time to dwell on things they could not explain.
But now the war was over. And Quistis would not settle anything less than the truth.
Destiny.
It was destiny that brought them together. Fate that had twisted together the lives of eight young adults in order to prepare them for the greatest threat the world had ever seen.
It was not by chance that Laguna Loire; the ever-fumbling, chatty journalist-soldier had fallen in love with the stunningly gorgeous pianist Julia. It was fate to have torn the two apart as Laguna healed with agonizing slowness after his escape from Lunatic Pandora with the help of Raine from Winhill, whom he eventually married. Julia, believing Laguna had disappeared from the war found comfort in the arms of General Caraway of Galbadia.
It was predestination that had placed seven of the eight children in the orphanage under the watchful eye of Edea and Cid Kramer where they grew up to become the saviors of mankind. Then destiny had played its last card as the son of Laguna and Raine grew up to become a seemingly heartless loner, only to meet the daughter of Julia and Caraway, Rinoa Heartilly.
Ironically, the orphanage gang was brought back together not by their childhood memories of promise, but the demands of the war they had fought. Quistis came to realize that they each contributed to the combined effort by not possessing unnatural powers, but by their unique characters.
Selphie Tilmitt had given them hope with her persistent enthusiasm. Irvine Kinneas's marksmanship hand honed their skills. Honesty and strength radiated from Zell Dincht. Compassion and a sense of duty shared by Ellone. Quistis herself, having grown up far too quickly and being the most mature, lent her wisdom and logic.
Squall Leonhart's leadership and courage was obvious but unlike the others, it was necessary to awaken the reluctant hero within him. And there were only two people who were capable of that. Seifer Almasy's arrogance and ambition challenged Squall, that only solidified his courage and Rinoa Heartilly's glowing free spirit, unchained by the limitations of boundaries had guided him to the path of leadership.
And then there were the Guardians. Once worshipped as Gods, ancient summoners from the Old World and dynasties of royal families had long kept the secret of calling upon the great spirits for strength to themselves. There were legends that even these Guardians could be enslaved but the truth had been buried, along with most of the secrets of summoning. What little facts remained were used by SeeD, and even only a select few SeeDs could actually tap into significant amounts of this raw, uncontrolled power. No one could dispute that they were not a great asset to the Gardens, but paying for this power was a terrible price.
They had sacrificed their past, for the strength of the Guardians. Even the most trivial moments of their childhood had been erased. Since the fall of Ultimecia, Quistis as well as the rest of her friends had stopped using the summons, although they still carried the power with them. They all knew that even if they had given up their greatest weapon, it would still take months, if not years to recover what was lost to them.
What pieces of her past she had been able to salvage out were nothing more than fragments of time, muddled and hazy that flashed on a whim and disappeared just as quickly. A glimpse of a smile from Edea, the lulling sounds of the ocean, a vague memory of flowers. Piecing them together was like trying to fix shattered glass and there was little she remembered, and even less she understood. But ever-hopeful Sephie was determined to bring back their stolen innocence, even if it would only be only a fabricated memory, and had provided journals for each of them.
Reluctantly, Quistis forced herself to step out of the shower and quickly dried herself, donning a simple white robe and left the steam filled room. She carefully tucked away her discarded uniform, pausing a moment to inspect her black chain whip that rested on the leather bound journal on her desk. Gripping the comfortable handle, she smiled at the familiarity of holding the lithe and lightning fast weapon. Thankfully she thought, out of all her memories this was the only one that was not forgotten in the ebb of time.
"What weapon are you going to choose Quistis?"
Quistis turned to face her new childhood friend, eleven year old Xu, a dark brunette with deep intelligent eyes and a witty sense of humor. Both had arrived at Balamb Garden at the age of ten, and in only a few scant months, they had risen to the top of their class, and were already attending the advanced classes. In one hand Xu held a wooden sword that was almost longer than both her arms combined but she held it with surprisingly ease.
"I don't know Xu," she replied.
"When we become SeeD, we won't need these practice toys anymore," said Xu with a swipe of her sword in the air. "We'll need to use real weapons if we're going to win."
"I'm guessing you're going to choose the sword?"
Xu shrugged.
"Haven't decided. I really wanted to use a gunblade but they're way too heavy," she replied, executing a quick fighter stance. "Maybe I'll go with the scimitars."
"No guns?" Quistis arched an eyebrow.
Another swing, Xu followed it up with a jab and a perfectly executed lunge, earning the curious admiration of the other students, even if they were several years older than the two girls.
"We'll certainly have to use them sooner or later," she answered, her eyes still fixed with concentration as she moved with fluent grace with the blade. "But anyone can use a gun."
Quistis chuckled.
"Instructor Merle would certainly disagree with you,"
Xu rolled her eyes.
"If we don't die in combat, that woman's lecturing surely will,"
"Quite true,"
A tall woman entered the classroom, arms clutching files and wearing a spotless uniform. It was as if she had walked out of the SeeD brochures Quistis had seen as a child before being admitted. Red hair was tightly held in a simple bun, her brown eyes and sharp nose watched the practicing students with birdlike observation.
"Now class, I want everyone up front before we start out today's training," she announced. "Hurry along now!"
As the students complied, Xu placed her wooden sword back on the rack regretfully and the two friends found a seat behind several older students. After taking roll, she began the day's lesson with her daily speech.
"I know you all are anxious to begin your first real combat training but there are some things I must stress before we do,"
Xu groaned and Quistis couldn't agree more. Every class period it was the exact same routine and by now they could even memorize her footsteps. Pacing back and forth, Instructor Merle eyed a giggling cadet until his face drained of all color and his only reply was a squeak. Nodding satisfactorily to herself, she folded her arms behind her back, facing her class.
"As you all know, I have been a weapon and combat specialist for over 20 years, half of which has been devoted since the founding of this Garden,"
Jokingly mouthing 'blah, blah, blah', Xu pointed fingers at her at head, making a shooting motion. Quistis had to bite down on her lower lip hard to keep from kneeling over with laughter.
"As you all know, ever since Dr. Odine from Esthar has invented para-magic, the average person can control elemental powers that was once considered a rare gift. However," her newly shined boots struck the tiled floor, earning a sudden jolt among the students. "Although the usage of magic has been expanded, it has lost its potency. Conventional weapons are still more efficient and only a select few can truly tap into the true powers of the elements."
"And as SeeDs, we are to train you in both strengths of magic and weaponry. Although some of you will never be able to control more than a flicker of a flame," she said, igniting a tiny flame in the palm of her hand. "And others will never acquire the strength for guns or blades, it is our duty to give each student an equal balance of both. I have seen some of the most powerful magicians killed by an amateur gunner and the greatest marksmen and blademasters defeated by a novice mage. SeeDs will be given the skills and the weaponry in preparation for all types of situations. It is up to you, to find the courage and the will to use them,"
Quistis could have recited that speech in her sleep. The woman repeated it almost everyday. She could certainly sympathize with Xu's frustration.
"Now," she gestured to the exit with a rare grin. "If you will all head down to the training center, we will begin our first lesson,"
The students filed out, eager to finally witness a battle first hand, even if it was only for a classroom demonstration. As Quistis was passing the assortment of weapons, her mind lingered, as if she was compelled to continue her inspection.
"Coming Quistis?" asked Xu, one arm propped up against the doorframe.
"In a minute Xu, I'll meet you down there,"
"All right,"
Waiting for the last sounds of the class to dissolve away, Quistis's hand instinctively traced the alignment of arms. Practice and authentic, cumbrous and blunt, elegant and sharp, with serene concentration. A pair of daggers with silver handles, staves carved out from plain wood to white ivory and, swords of all types, some with wicked designs, others balanced and honed to perfection.
As her arms reached to inspect a gunblade, a lion's carving etched on the side of its cold but handsome steel blade; her blue eyes caught sight of a coiled object, tucked modestly away behind the larger weapons. Plucking it out with an awed fascination, she held the smooth black handle in her right hand, and with a flick of her wrist, the coiled chain whip snapped out, resounding in a satisfying 'crack.' Spinning onto the nearest target, she struck again, slapping a bottle off a desk with profound precision.
"Quite a demonstration Ms. Trepe,"
Startled, she spun around to see a middle aged man in a plain maroon vest with thick glasses who had the look of a person who never left his office. Headmaster Cid.
Tilting her head respectively, before she could stammer out an apology, Cid waved it away dissmissingly, and his wrinkled face broke into a warm, fatherly smile.
"So, I finally have the pleasure to meet face to face with the infamous Quistis Trepe. I've heard quite a bit about your talent for excelling in every aspect this Garden has to offer. Instructor Merle has such high standards for you,"
Still too stunned to speak, she had the dignity to blush and again try to apologize.
"Thank you Headmaster Cid for your kind words, but-"
"No need to apologize Ms. Trepe. We are training you to be a SeeD and you have a natural talent that I have never seen before. It's only fair that you be given more room for them to expand,"
He smiled again and Quistis suddenly had a faint flash as if she had known him before. But she blinked, her mind was taken back to the present and she didn't give it a second thought.
"So," his eyes glanced at the chain whip by her side. "The whip I see. Reliable, deadly and light. An excellent choice if I may say so myself. It suits you quite well Quistis,"
"Thank you Headmaster," she bowed humbly. "I will do my best."
Letting out a deep sigh of relief, she allowed her aching muscles to relax on the small but comfortable mattress. Her body was practically begging for sleep. Hyne, she was exhausted. She was never a big fan of celebrations, even if she was practically being worshipped by her ever-expanding Trepies. Deciding she would speak to Cid about getting some sort of a restraining order in hand, she leaned over and shoved the window open in hopes of clearing out the stuffiness of her tiny dorm. And not to mention the heat. It was only spring and she felt like she was being roasted alive. Allowing the cool breeze to clear her senses, she lay back on her bed, flipped off the lights and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.
"I haven't been here for a while," Quistis said, halfway to herself. Since she had become a SeeD and an instructor, she never had the luxury of free time. Everything was all work oriented. Well, she thought. Tonight, that would all change. Folding her arms on the railing, she watched the brilliant soft glow from Garden illuminate the summer night, along with the countless number of stars that were fixed upon the darkened overhead. The blue light would shine and then slowly fade, repeating the cycle. Hyne, it was truly magnificent.
"What time is it?"
Leaning impatiently, Squall gave her a blank look and answered monotonously.
"It's after midnight,"
"Oh well…" The side of her head rested on gloved arms that stretched up to her shoulders. This is it she thought, mentally biting her lip in anticipation. Raising her head suddenly, she forced out the words that had been bothering her for weeks.
"I, Quistis Trepe, am no longer an instructor as of now!"
There was a pause, as if she expected him to show some sign of normal human reaction but when he blinked without even offering her the courtesy of facing her, she continued as if she hadn't noticed.
"I'm a member of SeeD now, just like you. Who knows, maybe we'll end up working together,"
His face turned only a fraction but it was enough for her to catch a glimpse of his usual cold, gray eyes.
"...Oh really?"
His barely interested reply was exactly as she predicted. But her emotions were not satisfied.
"Is that all you're going to say?"
She wasn't offended. Not even surprised in the slightest. And she certainly wasn't angry. But she couldn't help the tiny trace of disappointment that leaked out.
"If that's how it was decided, you have to abide by it."
Logical, emotionless and empty of all expression. Typical Squall Leonhart answer.
"They told me that I failed as an instructor. Basically, that I lacked leadership qualities. I was a SeeD by the age of 15, got my instructor license at 17,"
Was it only a year? Was she that much of a failure?
"It's only been a year since I got it..."
No answer. Not that she would've expected anything more.
"I wonder where I went wrong...I did my best…Are you listening?"
Her blue eyes searched for even a glimpse of compassion in his untouchable complexion but her mind secretly knew it was a pointless effort. It was her heart that refused to back down. He faced her with an annoyed gesture, as if he had to repeat himself over again to a slow person.
"Are you done yet...? I don't wanna talk about it. What am I supposed to say about other people's problems?"
At least she finally got a response that consisted of more than three words.
"I'm not asking you to say anything. I just want you to listen,"
Was that too much to ask? Was she so wrong for once in her life to ask for a favor?
"Then go talk to a wall," he snapped.
"Aren't there times when you want to share your feelings with someone?" she shot back, aggravated with his whole anti-social attitude. She had grew up in Garden with him, taught his classes, and even accompanied him into the Fire Cavern and he still avoided her like she was some sort of man-repellent.
"Everyone has to take care of themselves. I don't want to carry anyone's burden,"
Burden? Since when did she ever ask for him to carry any burden?
He turned to leave, indicating that the conversation was over. The few other students gossiped under their breath but she didn't pay them any mind. She was too focused on practically being slapped in the face by Mr.-I-don't-need-anyone Leonhart.
" ...No leadership qualities," she murmured under her breath, watching her former student disappear. Shaking her head, she emitted a sound of defeat. What a fool she was to have even attempted.
"Failed instructor…Perhaps they're right... "