Hymn for the Missing
Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to SM.
Part Thirty-One
Bella jogged over to her truck, the ever present rain mixing with the salt of her tears. She felt like such an idiot. She was regretting running out on Jacob, but at the time the embarrassment was immense, and all she wanted to do was hide in the same way as a child may have, but it was time to own it, make apologies, and show that she was more grown up than all that, that she had inner strength.
But before she did that, Bella knew she needed to compose herself. She didn't want to go back and face him with a red face and tears in her eyes. If she wanted him to see her as a mature adult and not little Bella Swan, then she at least needed to look the part. Climbing into her truck, she slammed the heavy iron door closed, shutting out the elements.
Grabbing hold of the wheel, Bella checked her reflection in the rear-view mirror. Her pale skin was blotchy, her brown eyes overbright. Not a pretty sight. Sighing in defeat, she switched on the engine, and the old Chevy rumbled to life. She let it idle for a while, before swinging the steering wheel around to the left and pulling away down the dirt track.
Bella's first instinct had been to head to First beach for a while, but the wet weather wasn't really conducive for a walk along the sand. She could just park up she supposed, and sit in the cab, looking out to sea until she felt calmer. But she was feeling too restless to sit still. She needed to walk, to burn off her discomfort, to try and clear her head, to give her a better chance of examining her tangled feelings about Jacob.
Driving in no particular direction, Bella found herself on the way to the lane that passed closest to the cliffs. She wondered what had made her come here to this bleak place. She was about to reverse, to head back toward the beach after all, when something stopped her. Maybe, just maybe, this was the perfect place. It wasn't like anyone was going to disturb her here.
Parking up, Bella zipped her rain jacket right up to her chin, pulling the hood tight around her face to better protect herself against the wind and the rain. Then taking a deep breath, she pushed open the Chevy's door, and jumped to the soggy ground. Immediately she was buffeted by the strong wind, and she had to really shove hard to get the driver's door closed again.
Again, her inner voice warned her to go back, but the Swan stubbornness kicked in and she ignored it. Bella straightened her shoulders and began to hunt for the little path that would take her out near the ledge. As she followed it, the wind died down a little, the rain easing off. Still, she kept her eyes trained to the ground, putting one foot very carefully in front of the other, navigating her way through the turns and forks ahead.
Just as Bella reached the place where the dirt path fanned out to the stone precipice, she felt drops of water splatter on her face. The rain had started up again. Great. She adjusted her hood, and continued on her way, breathing in the salty air.
The ocean sounded very far away, further than she expected it to be, when she was on the path in the trees. Bella grimaced as more rain hit her face, coating her eyelashes. The closer she got to the top, the stronger the wind blew, whipping the rain into eddies.
Once again, her inner voice, warned her to stop.
Again, Bella ignored it.
"I'm almost at the top now." She said aloud to the empty air.
And then she was there. Bella stepped out near the edge, keeping her eyes on the breath-taking view in front of her. Now this is what she came to see, this was worth all the effort of the climb. She closed her eyes briefly, breathing in deeply. The ocean breeze came in playful waves, washing over her with a sweet and salty essence.
Now this was better, Bella thought, as she opened her eyes again. The rain coated her skin in a light mist of brine, leaving it salty to the taste. Glancing down, she saw the waves pounding the rocks below in white foam spray, but right now it was just the perfect coolness to keep her mind settled, right here in the present, allowing her to think.
So lost in her own mind, was she, that it was only a prickling feeling on the back of her neck that alerted her to the fact that she wasn't alone anymore.
Bella slowly turned around, eyes wary, body tense. When she did so, she got the shock of her life. Standing right behind her-with long, curly, orange hair billowing in the wind-stood the vampire, Victoria.
Bella gazed at Victoria with horror in her eyes. The orange hair was brighter than she'd remembered, more like a flame. It was like fire around her face, and seemed to shimmer slightly, as if it were alive. Her face had a seductive, feline quality about it, her crimson red eyes glared at Bella, full of hatred.
Fear was like a knife in her gut, slowly twisting. Bella knew she was trapped. With Victoria blocking the path in front of her, and with a sheer drop behind, there was nowhere to run.
Bella knew from her previous encounter how fast these vampires could move. James had been malicious and cruel, but it was his ego which had proved to be his downfall, allowing her wolf to finish him off. And that had been no easy battle.
This Victoria was an unknown quantity. And wolf wasn't around to save her this time.
"What do you want?" Bella cried; her question immediately torn away by the wind.
Victoria didn't answer, just kept her unerring gaze on Bella, her expression turning calculating. Then, without warning, she stepped forward and shoved Bella hard, pushing her right off the edge of the cliff.
Bella screamed as she dropped through the open air like a meteor. She resisted, swinging her arms, trying vainly to fight the unconquerable gravity, that was hellbent on pulling her down to certain death on the rocks below. The wind's backdraft twirled her in spirals like a rocket crashing to the earth.
Then instead of hitting rocks, Bella hit the water. She sliced through the surface, its icy cold tendrils nearly stopping her heart. That was when the current caught her. It felt like the waves were fighting over her, jerking her back and forth between them as if determined to pull her into two halves.
Bella knew the right way to avoid a riptide: swim parallel to the beach rather than struggling for the shore. But the knowledge did her little good when she didn't know which way the shore was.
She couldn't even tell which way the surface was.
The angry water was black in every direction, there was no brightness to direct her upward. Gravity was all powerful when it competed with the air, but it had nothing on the waves-she couldn't feel a downward pull, a sinking in any direction. Just the battering of the current that flung her around and around like a rag doll.
Bella fought to keep her breath in, to keep her lips locked around her last store of oxygen.
As the biting cold infiltrated her skin, and the lack of air dulled her mind, she sank into delusion. She heard a voice-a familiar, beloved voice.
"Keep swimming!" Jacob begged urgently in her head.
Where? There was nothing but the darkness. There was no place to swim to.
"Stop that!" Jacob ordered. "Don't you dare give up!"
The cold of the water was numbing her arms and legs. She didn't feel the buffeting so much as before. It was more a dizziness now, a helpless spinning in the water.
But the imaginary Jacob was relentless in her head, he wouldn't let it rest.
So, Bella listened to him. She forced her arms to continue reaching, her legs to kick harder, though every second she was facing a new direction. It couldn't be doing any good. Exhaustion made her think-what was the point?
"Fight" Jacob yelled. "Damn it, Bella, keep fighting!"
Why?
Bella was too tired to fight anymore. She slowly began to sink beneath the choppy waves, until all that remained was her brunette hair floating on the surface like a banner.
In the movies drowning is loud and splashy, someone yells and waves their arms, they dip below the waves and come up in dramatic fashion while those on shore scramble to rescue them. But in reality, drowning is quiet, their movements are subtle, they rarely make any noise at all. One minute their head is bobbing above the water and then it is gone.
And so, it was for Bella.
As she lost the will to fight and sunk below the waves, clarity struck her. It was so clear, so blindingly obvious. She was in love-madly, insanely, desperately in love-with Jacob-and now he would never know.
Her subconscious had stored Jacob away in all his flawless detail, saving him for this final moment, so she wouldn't be alone at the very end. She could see his handsome face as if he was really there, she could feel the warmth of his skin, see the shape of his full lips, the line of his jaw, his gentle dark, brown eyes-not so gentle now, of course-right now they were glinting with an imagined fury, naturally, because she was giving up. His jaw was clenched tight, his nostrils flared with anger.
"No! Bella. No!"
Bella's ears were flooded with the freezing water, but his voice sounded clearer than ever. How strange? It almost sounded real.
She ignored the words and concentrated on the timbre of his voice. Why would she fight when she was so happy in her delusion? Even as her lungs burned for more air and her legs cramped in the icy cold.
The current shoved her abruptly against something hard, a rock invisible in the gloom. It hit her solidly across the chest, slamming into her like an iron bar, and the breath whooshed out of her lungs, escaping in a thick cloud of silver air bubbles. It pulled her out of her delusional state, shoving her back into cold reality.
Bella gasped as water flooded down her throat, choking and burning. The iron bar seemed to be dragging her, pulling her deeper into the dark, to the ocean floor.
"Goodbye, I love you, Jacob, was her last thought.
"Breathe!" Jacob's voice, wild with anxiety ordered.
As much as she wanted to, Bella couldn't obey. The waterfall pouring from her mouth didn't stop long enough for her to catch a breath. The black, icy water filled her chest, burning.
The rock smacked into her back again, right between her shoulder blades, and another volley of water choked its way out of her lungs.
"Breathe, Bella! C'mon!" Jacob begged over and over.
Black spots bloomed across her vision, getting wider and wider, blocking out the light.
The rock struck her again.
The rock wasn't cold like the water. It was hot on her skin. She realised it was Jacob's hand, trying to beat the water from her lungs. The iron bar that had dragged her from the sea was also…warm…her head whirled as realisation dawned….Jacob had pulled her from the water….he had come to her rescue, had saved her from drowning.
One to her wolf, one to Jacob. Both had saved her from dying by the hand of a vampire.
Bella wished she could see, but the black spots in her vision covered everything. The sound of the crashing waves faded into black and became a quiet, even whoosh that sounded like it was coming from the inside of her ears.
"Bella?" Jacob pleaded, his voice was still tense, but not as wild as before. "Bells, honey, can you hear me?"
The contents of her head swished and rolled sickeningly, like they'd joined rough water. She opened her mouth to tell him, to say what needed to be said…. she owed him the truth of her feelings…no matter the cost.
But then another voice.
"How long has she been unconscious?"
Bella recognised the voice as Seth's. It jarred her into a more focused awareness and she clamped her mouth shut.
"I don't know." Jacob replied to Seth, his tone still frantic. His hands so warm on her chilled skin, brushed her wet hair from her cheeks. "A few minutes? It didn't take long to tow her to the beach."
The quiet whooshing inside Bella's ears was not the waves-it was the air moving in and out of her lungs again. Each breath burned-the passageways were as raw as if she had scrubbed them out with steel wool. But she was breathing. And she was freezing. A thousand sharp, icy shards were striking her face and arms, making the cold worse.
"She's breathing. She's coming around." Seth again.
"I've got to get her out of the cold. I don't like the colour she's turning." Jacob's husky voice was close to her ear.
"Are you sure it's okay to move her?"
"I don't know. But she'll freeze to death if I don't." Jacob was cradling her face now, his fingers leaving little heat trails on her skin.
Bella tried to force her eyes open. It took her a minute, but then she could see the dark, purple clouds, flinging the freezing rain down on her. "Jake?" She croaked.
And there he was, Jacob's beloved face blocking out the sky. "Oh, honey, thank god." He gasped, relief washing over his handsome features. His eyes were wet from the rain…. or something else…. were those tears locked in the corner of his eyes? "Are you okay? Can you hear me? Do you hurt anywhere?"
"J-Just m-my throat." Bella stuttered, her lips trembling with the cold.
"Let's get you out of here, then." Jacob said. He slid his arms under her and lifted her up with little effort. His chest was bare and warm, he hunched his shoulders to keep the rain off Bella. Her head lolled over his arm.
"You got her?" Seth asked.
"Yeah, I'll take it from here." Jacob replied huskily. "Thanks, Seth. For you…. you know…. keeping me focused when I was losing my mind."
"What are brothers for?" Seth said with a weary smile.
"Brothers?" Bella thought vaguely.
"I'm going to check out that vamp trail." Seth continued. "I'll catch up with you later."
Vamp trail? Did he say vamp trail?
Bella's head was still rolling. She closed her eyes, losing focus again, as she passed out.
A/N-thanks for reading!