A Path of Memories

by Tempest Child

CHAPTER 8 is UP!YAY! Our heroes lead a new destiny for Balamb and the world, but the past catches up with them and Quistis finds herself torn between her memories and her future. Alone, she begins to search for the truth about her forgotten past. Rea

8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 Path of Memories Rough Draft

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?!" -Zell Dincht

Enjoy!

Seated around a massive circular podium, Balamb's finest warriors occupied only a tiny niche in the grand meeting room. Side by side, the seven SeeDs sat erect in the newly polished armchairs, almost a perfect imitation of the many statues and portraits littered in the palace. A small sign that said Balamb Garden sat directly in front of Xu, her cool stature with carefully folded hands demonstrated absolute serenity with an indication of unnerving confidence. There was not any doubt among the companions who was in fact in control. Quistis and Squall flanked Xu in their own respective equanimity, like silent sentries guarding their charge. Rinoa and Selphie sat on the left of Quistis, Irvine and Zell on the right of Squall. Stainless steel pitchers of water with pearl white Shumi porcelain cups lay untouched.

Despite the growing heat in the closed room, SeeDs kept their body temperature in check with a simple mental exercise. By taking one's mind off physical senses, SeeDs could control, to an extent, their body reactions. Not one of them perspired under the gaze of incandescent chandeliers or their dark colored uniforms. Representatives from Trabia and Galbadia sat in opposite sides, avoiding each others like the plague. Both Gardens had their own SeeDs represent, rather than their headmasters. Galbadia boasted eight students, Trabia with five. The representative from Dollet, a young handsome man with blue eyes and a sleek crop of black hair was wedged between a handful of his country's legislators and government officials. The arrogant air around him practically broadcasted his position as a man with power.

Seated to the right were the enigmatic Shumi. Covered from the neck down in black robes slashed with white streaks, their yellowish blubbery skin gave them the appearance of being fragile creatures. The truth was that the Shumi were renown for their magical powers, which they applied for architecture, masonry, sculptures, gardens and even warfare. A crimson haired woman with a pale complexion sat between two military officials who wore their medals like prized trophies. Her face was handsome, if not quite beautiful yet she held a queenly demeanor. Curls tumbled shoulder length onto her dark navy dress, which was adorned with a tiny golden pin of the Galbadian Empire.

A homely looking middle aged man with a suit that hadn't seen use in years represented Winhil. The mayor from FH sat with several advisors, alternating dubious looks at his former home of Esthar and the militaristic Galbadian scenery. From Esthar sat good natured President Laguna Loire along with his faithful companions, Ward and Kiros. Grinning like an idiot as he saw his son, Laguna began waving to catch his attention. Squall stiffly ignored his so called father but Rinoa on the other hand had taken an instant liking to the man and enthusiastically returned the greeting.

By the time the last delegate was settled in and the massive doors closed shut, only a few stands were empty, no doubt a few dignitaries had decided on boycotting the summit. Thankfully to the reassurance of everyone, video cameras were strictly forbidden in the room as were any reporters or journalists. Without the cameras recording every person's movement and remark, the delegates would have the opportunity to speak freely without fear of any news leak.

The summit began with the protocol of introducing delegates from each stand and a customary opening speech given by the acting president of Galbadia, who was actually General Caraway. The hardened general had grown older since the failed assassination attempt on Edea. His black cropped hair hinted gray streaks and his eyes indicated a man who was taking more caffeine than sleep. If Rinoa showed any sympathy towards her father, she betrayed nothing. He could have been a complete stranger the way she acted and Quistis felt a twinge of irritation at her friend's behavior. Having known neither of her own parents, Quistis believed Rinoa took her father for granted. Quistis could not recall anything regarding her biological family, nor did she ever bother to ask Edea and Cid for information. Her mother and father, whoever they were, were long dead and she was not. She refused to allow herself to succumb to her past.

Hours pass by with each respective delegate speaking about their concerns and beliefs. Words and notes were exchanged between representatives and their assistants while they listened with a fixed expression of interest. For the most part, Xu's briefing in the morning was essentially correct. FH would fight vigorously for pacifism and the demilitarization of all nations, easily earning itself animosity. General Caraway and the other general often exchanged words with the red haired woman, as if they required her permission for every word spoken.

An aging President Loire spoke little initially, only offering a few words of commentary before allowing Kiros to take over. A deep frown creased his usually smiling face and for the most part he remained silent. Laguna knew better than anyone that he was not quite the kind of public speaker expected from a country's leader but his peculiar behavior mirrored another concern. As the day gradually continued, tension was beginning to cumulate in increments. The slightest gesture, a wrong choice of words or a misunderstood look generated enough animosity between each respective representative. Despite the relatively cool room, the walls seemed to close in around and the temperature felt several degrees warmer.

For the following days, the summit continued with limited success. Winhil managed to break from the Empire after nearly two hours of debate and with a much relieved mayor wiping his brow by the end. The twin generals looked as if they had swallowed a cactus but the woman silenced them with a slight dismissive wave. The Shumi tribes were granted access to damaged cities to assist in reconstruction although the tribes would begin modernizing their warriors for protection.

FH managed to establish its autonomy as a pacifist nation and opened the city to war refugees and political idealists, but not before the FH mayor managed to extract a large sum of reparations from the Galbadia for war damages. A payment the military bitterly agreed on. As expected, all three Gardens could only agree on tighter relations with each school but no one seemed overly interested in acting as peace keepers in the face of powerful countries. When the bickering between Trabia and Galbadia escalated to an all out shouting contest, a brief recess was called in much to the thanks of the worn out Balamb.

"Those imbeciles!" Xu snarled, slamming the door open to a small guest room and immediately began pacing up and down the finely crafted rug. "You would think military elites would have even an ounce a common sense but those brainless idiots have proven otherwise!"

The rest filed in suit, none of them faring any better and all of them taking care to step lightly near the explosive Xu. Slamming back a glass of water, she continued her rant with shaking fists. Sitting dejectedly on a nearby chair, Zell mumbled about diplomacy and slunk in deeper into the cushion. Having run out of energy hours ago, Selphie was content to slump on the expensive but uncomfortable couch with Irvine joining her on the opposite side. Foot propped up against the wall, their fearless leader Squall stood with folded arms in a blank expression but even his head was pounding from a migraine.

Rinoa, after sneering at a portrait by the artificial fireplace took a seat as well, resting her delicate face on a slim hand. Quistis was the last one to enter, which she locked the door and smoothly moved over to the window. While her friend still fumed in the background, Quistis stopped by the double paneled window flanked by deep red curtains. It was only a little past noon and if Cid was serious about their objectives, they still had a long way to go. She absently moved her arms into a folding position, almost mimicry of her most gifted student. When he did not react, Quistis couldn't resist.

"You know, when you get that look, it makes you look like the old you," she offered one of her wry smiles, ducking her head slightly so she could peer under his auburn locks.

Arching an eyebrow, he replied, "Is that a good or bad thing?"

She shrugged and leaned by the window.

"Neither I suppose. I guess before you always looked that way and now I can tell a difference," she answered him, letting the warmth from the glass absorb into her. "I think it suits you."

"I'm assuming that's a compliment," Squall said dryly.

Quistis helplessly chuckled and nodded. "Yes, I suppose it is."

"I think you were put on this world to give me a hard time," he flatly replied without any spite.

Again, she shrugged because Quistis knew there was no bite in his words. Squall was just being Squall. Distant, silent and serious Squall Leonhart.

"Really? I always thought I was here to keep you and Seifer from pummeling each other into a bloody pulp."

"That too," he conceded and glanced out the window as well. Quistis took note of the way the light illuminated his gray eyes, giving off a glossy metallic quality to them. She always knew Squall had grown up faster than anyone else in the group but the years had not always been harsh to him. He was still quite handsome in a hardened stoic way, his skin slowly tanning because of Rinoa's love of the outdoors and her obvious insistence that Squall come. And like most men, Squall had grown taller, his shoulders broader and he now stood only second to Irvine. The lone teenager was gone, and in his place stood the proud knight of Sorceress Rinoa. It gave her satisfaction that her teachings had served him well in the war but even when she quit her job long ago, she and Squall maintained a friendship that bordered on her previous job as instructor. Squall often asked for her input in matters while he managed the Garden in Cid's absences. In the Garden she was considered his unofficial second in command and his top advisor. Quistis never minded the title though, she swore to keep in eye on him when they were children, and this extension of service wouldn't be an exception.

"You've grown up since then Squall," she said, mentally picturing a brunette boy desperately wiping his eyes to hide the tears he was so ashamed of. "We all have."

He was silent and she took it as a cue to elaborate.

"You're smarter. Wiser. Stronger. And lately, you've been more…" she trailed off, searching for the right word. When the right word evaded her, Squall raised an eyebrow.

"Human?" he asked, with no small amount of sarcasm.

Quistis laughed in response. Since when did he ever finish her sentences? "Well, I was going to say to more tolerable but I suppose that works too. Your whole grim ice prince attitude has melted into what the rest of the world can call a normal human being."

He scrutinized over her laughter as if he couldn't decide if she was mocking or teasing him. Quistis realizing her semi-joke had utterly failed to bring out any humor shook her head and reworded her sentence. "I mean you're not nearly as serious as before."

"Hn."

Ah, back to the one word replies. Perhaps the ice prince still had a large chunk of ice around his mouth.

There was a small pause before either of them spoke. Behind them Xu still cursed in every language she knew while glaring at the carpet as if she dared it to challenge her. Selphie had rested her head against Irvine's shoulder, who was stroking her hair in a loving fashion. Zell had confiscated another couch and lay sprawled over it with a cushion over his head. Quistis noted Rinoa had moved to the moderate bookshelf and was busying herself with the titles.

"I remember that you once told me that worrying too much tends to make everything turn out for the worst," Squall said, snapping Quistis out of her thoughts.

Quistis blinked. She was surprised he bothered to remember anything she ever said back then. That and the fact he was for once, instigating the conversation rather than returning a cynical remark. "I did. And?"

"Hn. You were probably right."

"So, Mr. Leonhart finally admits that he worries too much," Quistis said with satisfaction. "And what made you come to this decision?"

Squall let out a small breath and she noticed he had placed a hand over his chest, where she knew the Griever pendant hung from his neck under the uniform.

"I guess," he said, running his free hand through his hair. "I realized there are some things that I don't want to lose." He paused for a moment to reflect, and Quistis knew his thoughts were focused on his friends. His family. The people he had grown to care about despite their flaws. Especially, Rinoa, who seemed to be flipping through a hardcover book. "And worrying about it isn't going to make it any better," he finished, stiffening against the wall once more.

It took all of her willpower to suppress a smile. This was perhaps the longest conversation she had shared with him that did not involve military operations, diplomacy or school. Squall had trouble talking openly, even with his closest friends. This change was a welcome addition.

"I'm glad for you Squall," she answered and she offered him a respectful nod which he returned with a wordless thanks.

A comfortable silence between the two of them signaled the end of the conversation. Quistis spared one last look outside before backtracking to the door. As she reached for the knob and tugged it open, in swept President Loire, with the dark skinned Kiros and the massive bulk of Ward. Politely acknowledging her presence, which she returned, the three stood before the stressed and moody SeeDs. As they hastily rose to offer salutes with Zell nearly rolling off the couch in surprise, Laguna beat them to it with ushering hands.

"Please don't bother with dignitaries. You know I'm not much for civilized talk anyway," he grinned in the way the old Laguna always did but he was not the Laguna they knew from their visits to the dream world. Worry creased his aging face and his deep russet hair was beginning to show signs of graying. He smiled almost idiotically at his son and most likely future daughter-in-law, which Squall pointedly ignored. The relationship was rather a peculiar one, with Squall grudgingly accepting the fact that Laguna was his biological father but still disbelieving he could be related to someone like that. Laguna was just happy he had a son, even if that son avoided his father like the plague.

Laguna swept up his bulky robes and unceremoniously plopped himself on a chair, Ward took up a position by the door, folding his muscular arms that made him look more like a bouncer than a politician. Kiros pulled up a chair by Laguna and the startled SeeDs hurried to their seats.

"It's good to see all of you. I know we've been through a lot but I'm glad to see that Edea is still wiping your faces eh?" He nearly giggled and Squall suppressed the desire to smack himself in the face.

Kiros nonchalantly elbowed his friend in the ribs with more force than necessary. "Get to the point President. We don't have much time."

Clutching his side, Laguna shot Kiros a glare which the other didn't seem to notice.

"What's wrong Laguna?" Spoke Rinoa, with concern clearly heard from her voice. She then blushed and waved her hands to correct her mistake. "I-I mean, President Loire. I'm sorry, I haven't gotten the hang of all this SeeD stuff yet."

Laguna threw back his head and gave a hearty chuckle and the formal mood was quickly shattered. Unlike other politicians who lived for protocol, Laguna managed his position as a country's top executive with uncanny simplicity. He often took random visits throughout the countryside, much to the dismay of his bodyguards and the general public whenever he went missing. His office was more than often decked with stacks of magazines, newspapers and books to fulfill his passion for journalism. Although his attempt to write personal articles for papers was always discouraged, Laguna often spent his free time keeping up with current events and playing jokes on his rather stiff necked subordinates.

"You mean Squall hasn't told you about me?" he said incredulously. "Squall my boy, I'm hurt!"

The other stared hard at his father and wondered again if this moron held blood ties to him.

Laguna waved hands to disregard Rinoa's apology and he couldn't help but smile at the girl his son chose. In a way, she resembled someone he knew back in his soldier days. A woman whose flawless talent with the piano snatched the heart of a klutz like him. Rinoa had her mother's beauty for certain and she inherited a sort of effortless grace that Julia was known so well for. But her eyes were what caught his attention. Dark, almost bottomless orbs that held such warmth and strength that Laguna marveled the fact that had he returned to Julia, this angelic creature could have easily been his daughter as well.

The scarred man by the door shook his head once.

"Ward says Laguna here doesn't care for titles. You may call him anything you like Ms. Heartily," Kiros interpreted.

"Tell us," Xu began, hardly containing her impatience. "What news do you bring President Loire?"

Laguna opened his mouth to remind her that he preferred his first name but with Kiros raising his elbow slightly, he decided to heed the warning. Reluctantly, Laguna realized he could no longer delay the inevitable. Offering a sad smile in Rinoa's direction, which she responded with a quizzical look, President Loire, the savior of Esthar spoke the words that would threaten the lives of those sitting before him.

"I'm afraid I have come with news," he began slowly, and the kindhearted façade melted into something older and serious. The sudden change of appearance was not unnoticed by the SeeDs, who kept their faces empty of emotion but their minds buzzed with the possibilities. "Bad news in fact, and I wouldn't be much of a president, man or father if I didn't tell you face to face."

He inhaled a breath, steeling his resolve to finish.

"There's trouble in Esthar. And not the usual monster attack or politician debate, either. A senator from Northern Esthar is spearheading a global movement to try and prevent future wars."

Several of the listeners exchanged questioning looks at each other which Laguna expected.

"Excuse me for the interruption President Loire, but isn't that a good thing?" Rinoa asked.

"Yes and no," he replied, shaking his head and at that moment, never had the SeeDs seen their reliable ally and friend so old. "You see Rinoa, the man wants to prevent wars by hunting down sorceresses. He's trying to start a world wide witch hunt."

The stunned silence that followed proved to Laguna how hard the SeeDs were taking the news. Several pairs of wide eyes stared back at him as if trying to decide if this was in fact the real Laguna Loire and not some imposter spreading ridiculous news. Only Squall seemed to be controlling his surprise but a hard gleam burned in his eyes.

"His name is Senator Trask, a man from the old Senate before Adel. Before I left for this summit, an emergency Senate meeting was called and Trask was proposing legislation to track sorceresses in the name of peace. He's gathering more support in these past few days than anyone could have imagined. I have contacts at Esthar who are keeping me posted but I can only guess at where his popularity is now."

"But, why would he want to start another war?" Selphie burst from her seat, nearly shouting at the mere thought of another global conflict. "Haven't enough people died in the last fight? He can't be serious! He just can't!"

Irvine tried to restrain the brunette but only succeeded in having her return to her seat and hear out the rest of Laguna.

"I agree," Laguna answered, offering the same apologetic grin to Rinoa who at the moment wore a blank expression. "I don't want a war anymore than you do and I have yet to make that clear to the Esthar when I return but I am afraid we could have a civil war in our hands."

Someone gasped but Laguna watched the wearied faces before him harden into stone. Esthar had not experienced a civil war in hundreds of years since its founding from a cluster of scattered cities on the barren continent. The thought of a war tearing apart the Eastern Empire shook him to the core. Esthar had chosen isolation to stay out of external conflicts and now it seemed the country would be destroyed from within.

"There are too many people who are crying for 'justice'. They want every sorceress hunted down, chained and imprisoned for the safety of the world. They believe wars have been instigated by sorceresses since Hyne and in order to stop future wars, they must stop sorceresses by leading a global witch hunt."

"Cutting the head off the snake right?" The sniper muttered cynically.

Laguna grimly nodded at the expression. "The other half of the country is demanding continued seclusion from the outside. These people believe foreign involvement is the cause of all the troubles that have befallen the country."

"But if one side starts to fight," began Zell.

"Then the other side will certainly respond accordingly," Xu finished. Her hot temper had cooled with the current news and the cold, calculating SeeD commander had taken hold. "President Loire is right, a civil war is a possibility. Esthar has been divided for fifteen years about whether to join with the rest of the world or to hide from it and it sounds like this senator is just widening the gap between the two."

"Then we have to stop him," spoke up Rinoa, clenching her delicate hands into balled fists. "We must stop him from starting another war. That's the only solution!"

"It's not the simple," Quistis answered quickly. "If Trask is as half as popular as Laguna says he is, than we may have an entire nation on our backs. If this becomes an armed conflict, there's no way SeeDs could stop it. We're a military school, not a standing army."

"But Cid's orders were to protect the peace no matter the cost!" Rinoa replied and her voice sounded strained even to her own ears.

"Cid probably expected us to resolve the differences at the conference table. Not on a battlefield," said Squall, and his eyes met Rinoa's for a brief moment and she reluctantly conceded to his point.

"So," breathed out Irvine, as he leaned in closer to emphasize his interests. "Let me get this straight. Half of your country wants to wage war on the sorceresses, and the other is threatening to break away?"

Laguna's solemn nod and the hard faces of Kiros and Ward was more than enough proof that the situation was serious. It was almost unthinkable that only months after Ultimecia, another possible war was gathering strength. But the President of Esthar and his advisors were proof that such a thing was occurring. Laguna explained the recent events to the stunned SeeDs, relaying information concerning Senator Trask and laws already in the works to counter any possible sorceress threat. He told them of the likelihood that Dollet, Galbadia and other nations would almost certainly unite under the common goal to defeat sorceresses and any member who failed to join would not likely raise protest against such a powerful union. The Empires of Dollet and Galbadia may have been long time enemies but with a focused goal, even enemies would put aside differences for the greater good.

Suddenly, Zell leaped from his chair so quickly the others were caught off guard. Fist clenched and his feet firmly planted into a fighting stance reminded everyone who Zell would always be, the impulsive and explosive martial artist.

"Matron! What's going to happen to Edea?" He looked frantically from Laguna to the Kiros. " Is she going to be in danger?!"

Fear welled up in all minds of the former orphanage gang and before they could voice their concern for their beloved caretaker, Laguna again beat them to the punch.

"Don't worry, as soon as I realized the senator's goals, I sent word to Cid and Edea. She will be taken onboard the White SeeD ship as soon as possible where she will be kept safe until things clear up. Ward has volunteered to be her personal bodyguard as soon as this summit ends. I also have two of my best men on their way to Balamb Garden as an extra precaution. It could be weeks before any actual action takes place but I did not want to take any chances with Edea's life. She will be under the tightest security, I swear it."

"And what about Rinoa?" Squall asked quietly, making his usual lone comment from the background.

Rinoa hesitated to speak, as if the words were caught in her throat. She did not look necessarily afraid, but confusion was evident on her delicate features. Even in distress, Rinoa managed to look stunningly beautiful.

Laguna breathed out, relaxing against his chair. "The decision is up to her. Rinoa, I can have you guarded and hidden within a week but the choice is up to you. Very few people know the truth of your powers but I would not risk the chance. Not now, not ever."

As they listened to Laguna's plan of action, the idealism inspired by Cid and his dream of a peaceful world fell more into a bleak memory. In reality, the SeeDs knew there were some things in life that could not be avoided. War was a necessary evil as long as humans lived and fighting was a natural part of animal nature but no one expected a war to break out so soon, after so many people had been killed and displaced in the past twenty years. Quistis listened without interrupting, making mental notes of every person and event Laguna mentioned. While several of the others were taking the news poorly with disappointment and anger, the blonde ex-instructor grimly absorbed every word. Perhaps, she thought, this was another design of fate and their lives were dancing to the strings of a higher power. For as long as they knew, since the day of their birth, everything had been orchestrated by someone or something greater. Why would this be any different?

When Laguna was finished, he leaned back wearily, exhausted but grateful to be free of the burden of carrying bad news. There was a brief silence, each person digesting the information in their own pace. Out of all of them, Rinoa seemed to have taken the news the hardest. Unlike Selphie or Zell who were verbally and visibly frustrated, or the silent contemplation of Irvine and Xu, Rinoa had a kind of worn resignation on her pale features. She smiled briefly at Squall, enveloping one delicate hand on his, which he returned tightly. And Squall, their 'fearless' leader smiled, a tiny crease of the lips to show his love for his sorceress but his eyes blazed with chilling determination. He would protect Rinoa, without regard for his own life. A knight protecting his sorceress. The poet beauty of it was almost too powerful to be true. But Quistis had witnessed Squall cut down soldier after soldier to reach Rinoa, covered in blood and wounded so badly even his thick clothing could not soak up dripping mess. Rinoa had awakened the lion within Squall, it was his turn to return the favor.

"Of course you're welcome to stay here Rinoa," answered the former sorceress Edea. Little had changed over the long years for Edea, for Edea was a woman who only became more beautiful as she aged. Even the abduction of her body at the hands of a far more powerful sorceress had done little to age the beloved matron. "You may stay as long as you like."

Never forgetting her mannerisms, Rinoa bowed gracefully and thanked Edea.

"Thank you Mrs. Kramer, I can't tell you how sorry I am for intruding on you like this."

Edea waved away the comment, warmly smiling on the young sorceress.

"There's nothing to apologize my dear. I am glad you have come. I could not turn down a favor from the President of Esthar now could I?"

With that comment Edea winked at Laguna, who returned the gesture with a ridiculously large grin.

"And please, call me Edea. There's no need for formality here." Edea continued, welcoming her visitors into the partially renovated home. "Will you at least stay for some tea?"

"That would be lovely Edea but we must speak with you regarding recent incidents," Laguna answered not without his regular charm but still with an air of professionalism. His bulky robes had been replaced with a casual white buttoned shirt and a worn pair of jeans, and despite his age, Laguna had always been young in spirit. "There are some issues that we must address."

Edea nodded in agreement. She was well aware of the peace treaty terms and the stirring power of Esthar. Laguna was the first to enter the shabby home, kissing her hand and clapping a startled Cid on the back. Ward and Kiros, both in plain civilian clothes respectfully bowed to the former sorceress. In one hand Ward held a large duffle bag, no doubt his belongings as he was going to be Edea's personal bodyguard. The others filed in, all comfortably breathing in their normal attire and offering their hellos to their matron. Quistis was the last to greet her. The blond gracefully tilted her head, hands held together in a perfect sixty degree bow.

"Edea, it's good to see you again," Quistis said, offering the older woman a reserved but genuine smile.

Edea was still recovering from the massive glomp Selphie and Zell had both given her, but her smile beamed as she acknowledged the first orphan she raised.

"Quistis," she smiled, raising a hand to the other's cheek with motherly affection. "I can't tell you how happy I am to see you. To see all of you together again brings me such joy. You've all grown so much. Please tell me, how have you been doing?" Edea sat down on a broken pillar, patting the space beside her. The blond accepted the invitation, settling herself on the weathered but smooth stone.

"We're all doing fine. Balamb Garden has been fully repaired and we're receiving more candidates than ever before."

Edea nodded, taking the news with great interest. The willowy woman was responsible for the training of the first SeeDs and the Gardens represented Edea's and Cid's dream of an international peace keeping force, formed to defeat the sorceresses of the future.

Quistis continued on how Trabia and Galbadian Gardens had recovered and had reluctantly agreed to strengthen relations between the three military schools. She explained the results of the peace summit, briefly detailing the agreements but left out Laguna's grim news. Now was not the time to worry about such dangers. When she was done reporting the events, she smoothed her black pants, and folded her hands in her lap. Quistis was a professional to the core.

Edea smiled one of her soothing smiles but a glint of curiosity lingered in those dark pools.

"Thank you for updating me Quistis. I'm afraid I've spent the last few months here rebuilding the orphanage and recovering my strength that I've lost quite a bit of contact from everyone else. But, you didn't answer my question."

Quistis stared at Edea puzzlingly.

"I asked how you were doing Quistis," Edea answered warmly. "I know there's something bothering you and you've been trying to hide it under your duties."

Quistis couldn't help herself. She chuckled openly, and Hyne the feeling felt good.

"Do I now? I guess I've been in uniform too long that I've forgotten how to communicate with normal people."

"Well, I wouldn't blame yourself. The people around you aren't exactly normal," which she emphasized by pointing to the house were Irvine could be heard blaring out love lyrics with the occasional squeal of Selphie and Zell's mad search for ketchup. Laguna also seemed to be attempting to dance with Rinoa with the barking of Angelo. The two women laughed together at the sounds from the stone home.

"So," Edea prodded with a gentle poke to Quistis' ribs after their laughter had died down to a quiet chuckle. "You still haven't given me a sufficient answer."

Quistis let out an exaggerated sigh but in her mind, her humor died down a notch. Edea had an uncanny ability to sense one's feelings. Whether it was from her years of experience raising children or her sorceress powers, there was little that could escape the perceptive woman. How was she doing? She wasn't sure even she could answer that question sufficiently. Health wise, of course she was alive and well. But something in Edea's calm look made Quistis believe that her former Matron wasn't going to be satisfied with that answer.

The tall blonde cleared her throat and put on her most polite smile. "I'm doing well Edea. Garden is back to normal now that the repairs have been complete and we've received a record number of students this year. Headmaster Cid offered me the choice to return to my teaching job but I believed that it was in my best interest that I rather continue my job as a SeeD in the field."

Edea nodded but Quistis knew immediately she could not hope to fool Edea.

"I um, got a manicure last week?" Which of course was a flat out lie but Quistis didn't know what else to say.

Rolling her eyes good naturedly, Edea jokingly chided her former orphan. "Quistis, I know you were always the stubborn one as a child and the other children didn't call you bossy without good reason. But you know well what I mean." Edea's warm smile was impossible to deny. There was no wonder the White SeeDs were so protective of Edea. Edea Kramer was powerful but her loving personality was the only thing the White SeeD orphans had ever known besides war and death. Gardens may train SeeDs but without Edea, there would not have been a Garden in the first place.

The blond slowly nodded, letting her gaze wander over to the flower fields which were reaching the peak of their beauty. In a few days that sea of petals would shed and die, and the field would be barren until spring. Such a waste of such a vibrant color display. She did not realize her thoughts reflected in her expression but Edea was a master of detecting one's emotions.

"Then tell me, only if you feel up to it. What is bothering you Quistis? You always did hide your emotions, even as a child."

Quistis had not the courage to reply. She settled for silence, almost too ashamed to look at Edea in the eye. When she did meet Edea's gaze, Quistis mustered her strength and shook her head. "I'm not sure what you mean Matron." It was almost a lie but it was also the truth. But at the moment, she wanted nothing more than to avoid answering Edea.

Placing a hand on Quistis' shoulder, she craned her neck to look into Quistis' bowed head.

"I'm sorry if I pushed you my dear. You must be tired from your mission. Please come in and take a rest," Edea smiled and led Quistis into the shabby stone house.

As the blonde stepped into the doorway, a figure stood several feet before her, laughing merrily at a comment made by Selphie. She turned to face Quistis and her laughter took on a smile of deep respect. Although completely unrelated to Edea, Ellone retained the same ageless look over the years. She was only several years older than Quistis but her round face and short cropped hair gave her a childish appearance. She wore a plain lime button shirt with the sleeves rolled up in her elbows. A mismatch of flour and stains lingered on her pale jeans, evidence of activity in the kitchen. Ellone, along with her foresight into the past, was a competent chef.

"Quistis," Ellone breathed and without hesitation, the willowy girl hugged Quistis as if she were a long lost sister.

"Welcome home Quistis," Ellone said.

Home. It sounded lovely.

Dinner was served around an antique dining table in one of the partially renovated rooms. Platters of food littered across the table cloth, from freshly caught fish to wild salads from Edea's own garden. With Edea at the head of the table, Kiros and Ward flanked Laguna at the other end. In between sat the original orphanage children, minus Seifer. Rinoa took a seat by Squall, and Ellone sat next to him as well, sandwiching the silent commander. The meal was what Quistis expected. Loud. There was so much chatter between the former orphans and their Matron that it became almost impossible to hear one conversation without it lapsing into another. Naturally most of the memories of Squall and the other SeeDs were muddled, as if they could grasp the general meaning of their past but never quite understand the details. Even Edea's own memory had been slightly tampered after she was possessed. However, Ellone retained an almost perfect chronology of their life in the crumbling stone house. After they had finished eating, Ellone divulged into a story about a certain spiky blond who had wet the bed sheets five consecutive nights in a row. The laughter refreshed the group's mind after the exhausting week at Galbadian City. Even Zell who flushed redder than the ketchup on his hotdog seemed to enjoy the attention.

Dinner ended just before the sun began to set. Laguna and Edea and Kiros left the dining room to speak of no doubt the events unfolding at Esthar. With his best friends busy, Ward wordlessly picked up a massive sledgehammer and began clearing ruined stone from the house by reducing them into pebbles. Selphie bounded up a ladder and effortlessly began hammering nails into the roof. Not to be outdone, Zell and Irvine picked up tools and assisted the other White SeeDs into repairing their old home. Squall and Rinoa however, had disappeared after dinner. Of course this meant cleaning up was left to only person.

After stacking the last of the dirty dishes onto the side, Quistis filled the sink with hot water, adding perhaps more detergent than she needed. She never was the most competent with housework. As she was in the middle of a vicious battle of scrubbing off a crusty baking dish, Ellone appeared out of no where with her sleeves rolled up.

"Ellone!" said a startled Quistis. "Good Hyne, you scared me."

The brunette laughed again, and sunk her arms elbow deep into the soapy water, armed with a sponge and attacked the nearest plate. "For someone as cool minded as you Quistis, I'm surprised you didn't smack me with that whip of yours."

The two women chuckled and talked for several minutes about nothing in particular. As Quistis listened to her friend, she couldn't help but admire the warm aura Ellone always seemed to be in. It was as if beauty, kindness and virtue had combined and the end result was this almost perfect woman. Perhaps it was this reason Quistis had tried so desperately to fill that role after Ellone had left. While Ellone still chatted animatedly, a spoon slipped from her wet hands and plunged back into the soapy murky water. Determined to find the evasive silverware, Quistis fished around for a moment, retrieving the metal spoon and was in the process of scrubbing it again when the window snagged her thoughts. In the mornings, Quistis clearly remembered how the sunlight used to beam through the glass as Edea or Ellone fixed breakfast for the hungry children, bathing the cold room in warm light. But it was evening now and the sun was already retreating, leaving a deep shade of crimson and orange. And outside the window before the flower fields stood none other than Squall Leonhart and Rinoa Heartilly, side by side, their backs to the window Quistis stood behind. Their hands barely touched, but Quistis could tell by Squall's posture that he felt more at ease than he had in a long time. Rinoa respected Squall's reluctance of social interaction and did not try to cuddle him too closely like a giggly schoolgirl or show any bold displays of public affection. She loved him for who he was, and the two continued staring off into the distance.

It was a while before Quistis realized Ellone had stopped speaking and was looking at her intently.

"Quistis, is something the matter?"

The blonde felt a surge of panic and she began scrubbing the already clean spoon.

"No, of course not. I'm just a little bored of washing these dishes you know. I was never good at this kind of labor anyway." She let out a dry laugh but it sounded dull even to her own ears.

After a moment's silence, Ellone picked up another plate and dunked it in.

"You love him, don't you?"

The spoon slipped from her grasp again and this time Quistis did nothing to retrieve it. It wasn't exactly a question the way she had spoken it.

"Edea was right you know," Ellone continued. "You may have a backbone of steel when you want something accomplished but you're a terrible liar. Oh don't worry. Edea didn't tell me anything if you're wondering."

Quistis opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out but air. She was a lost for words. Ellone smiled again, as if she held a deep secret but had the will to keep it to herself.

"I don't know what to say," Quistis replied after gathering all her courage and calmness.

"Say nothing. Your eyes tell me all I need to know." The other girl finished the last of the dishes and began the process of drying them. Quistis followed suit with her own pile, but her mind drifted elsewhere.

After a moment, she finally felt compelled to ask. "Do my eyes really betray me that much?"

The other woman nodded once. "You have beautiful eyes Quistis. People with eyes like yours are easy to read. How do you think you could read Squall's so easily while you were his instructor?"

The statement was true, and Quistis could hardly believe Ellone was correct. Quistis had always been able to detect her friend's thoughts and words by judging his eyes, the only part of his body that showed something besides indifference.

"You have always loved him Quistis. And I know you bore the greatest burden after I left the orphanage," she murmured, pulling out the plug to watch the dirty water swirl down the sink. "And for that, I'm sorry. You watched over him. Guided him. Protected him. You did everything I couldn't do any longer."

Quistis listened to Ellone's words but could not bring herself to answer. What else could she say? That she was angry at Ellone for placing such a burden on her? That she hated Rinoa and felt nothing but jealously? She never for a moment blamed Ellone for leaving them behind. And in fact, she loved Rinoa almost as she would a sister. They were friends. Good friends. But there was nothing she thought of that would have been a sufficient answer to Ellone.

"Maybe I did love him," Quistis quietly replied, unplugging her own drain. "But whatever could have happened between us didn't. There's no use bringing up the past Ellone." She didn't mean to sound harsh but her voice held a hint of weariness.

"I agree Quistis but why is it that you seem to take it so hard on yourself?"

Quistis had nothing to respond with. She mutely watched the sink drain itself and continued to stare at it after the last soap bubble disappeared.

"Is it because you felt perhaps things could have turned out otherwise?" Ellone delicately asked, her brown eyes not quite making contact with Quistis. When the other did not respond, she took the blonde's silence as a confirmation. "Are you feeling regret?"

Another long silence. By this time, the sun had already set and the shadows outside lengthened but Squall and Rinoa's forms could still be made out in the semi-darkness. Silent and still as statues but the two were more beautiful

"I feel," Quistis began slowly, raking her mind for any thought that would explain the turmoil she felt internally. "I feel as if I did something incorrectly. Maybe it's because I didn't resist when Rinoa came into the picture. The moment I saw her, I knew there wasn't going to be any competition."

"Quistis," Ellone began, stacking the last of the dry dishes aside. "I swear to you that you did nothing wrong."

"But I didn't fight for him," Quistis replied and the tone of her own voice sickened her. It was weak, vulnerable and above all pathetic. She felt like one of those melodramatic soap opera stars on daytime television. She hated it immediately and gripped the sink with her soapy hands. "I did nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"Yes," Ellone agreed drying her hands. "You did nothing and that makes you a far greater woman than you know."

"I don't understand Ellone. I let him go."

"Yes! Yes, you let him go Quistis and I am so proud of you for doing so. Had you fought for him with tooth and nail, competing between Rinoa with Squall as the prize, you would not have been the Quistis I loved as a sister. It may be difficult to fight for someone you love but it's even worse when you voluntarily let them go, even if that means sacrificing your dreams, your wishes, everything the moment you saw Rinoa was the one for Squall."

By this time Ellone placed a gentle hand on Quistis cheek, much like Edea's soothing touch. "You loved Squall so much you were willing to let him go for his own happiness. And that Quistis, is why you possess more wisdom than anyone else I know."

Quistis felt her eyes begin to grow moist, but she steeled her mind. She would not cry. How long has it been since she felt tears run down her face? How many times had life ruthlessly fell apart around her? Is she survived then she could survive now, but Hyne she would be lying if the pain did not hurt.

"He loves you, you know." Ellone whispered.

Quistis managed a half smile, trying in vain to blink back a few stray tears but then wiped her eyes with her sleeves. "After a fashion, I suppose he does."

Ellone nodded sagely. "After a fashion," she repeated.

Quistis willed her arms to stop shaking and beat down the urge to simply bawl out her eyes. She was not a simpering girl with her heart broken. It wasn't Squall's fault for not accepting her because he never really knew how she felt in the first place. There was no one to blame. Not even her. The thought lingered for a moment and for a second Quistis felt she had regained enough composure to remain her calm, collected self. But Ellone's tight embrace was all that was needed for her to completely break down and sob out years of pent up emotion. Quistis returned the gesture just as fiercely.

"I still care about him," the blonde choked out, blinking the hot tears that streamed down her pale cheeks.

"I know Quistis," Ellone replied quietly, holding her friend warmly. "I know."

"You're awfully cruel," snarled the fire demon. The flames on his head rose higher with each word. Ifrit would have sneered at Shiva had she been facing him but the ice goddess continued to stare into the globe of crystal hovering in the air. Of course to Ifrit, it was nothing but a shiny orb but whatever Shiva saw; she took it as indifferently as if someone had told her the sun rose every morning.

"And why do you say that Ifrit?" Her breath brought wisps of air from her blue lips, but she did not bother to turn and face her fiery rival. Immersed in the globe before her, she easily noticed Ifrit's permanent frown with the crystal's reflection. The beast was annoyed, but that was a common mood for one such as him.

"You made that woman perfect and yet you allow her to suffer like that," Ifrit growled, the flames dancing wildly on his fur.

"What?" Shiva barely turned around to give him a look of mock astonishment. "Do my ears deceive me? Ifrit, the king of brutes and beasts acting sentimental and acknowledging my superior power at the same time? I think you're making fine progress towards civilization."

Had it helped Ifrit would have roared a challenge but it was of course forbidden for Guardians to fight one another. The thought however did not quench the rage he felt. Shiva was insufferable. Before he could think of a comeback, Shiva beat him to the punch.

"If I'm not mistaken, your creation scarred the leader, betrayed his own school and almost brought our carefully laid out plans into ruins."

Ifrit let out a low growl, which was as loud as roaring volcano. "He served his purpose well enough. Griever's creation did defeat the threat did he not? Had it not been my creation, the boy would have never been able to attain the strength."

"Perhaps. If it makes you sleep better at night, believe what you will. And the same can be said for my creation. She did her duty, with flying colors I believe. The rest is up to her now."

"You're as cold hearted as they come," the fire Guardian replied before disappearing in a flash of flames and smoke.

"Yes," Shiva quietly acknowledged. "Maybe I am."

The summit had ended only several days ago. The peace treaty, as difficult as it was to obtain, had been implemented and the SeeDs left almost immediately to the orphanage of their memories. Unlike Edea, the orphanage had been reduced to piles of mismatched stone, uncovered ceilings and cracked walls. Several White SeeDs had worked on rebuilding the structure but for the most part, the building was as fragmented as the group's memories of it. Only the field had remained the same, where dozens of species of flowers prospered under the continent's mild climate. The White SeeD ship docked nearby the old light house, and besides the occasional white uniformed SeeD on the shore, they were alone.

Bit by bit, Quistis understood the severity of it all. Whether she was a pawn on a chessboard or not, she knew in the deepest crevices of her mind what she had to do. The revelation came slowly, her doubts nagging her thoughts like gnats. Doubts; that whispered about her chances of success against such unspeakable odds. Who was she? She was a bossy child, a failed teacher, a cold and calculating warrior when it came to her job and a pathetic heart throb when it came to being a woman. Few things scared Quistis Trepe, for she had faced monsters of every kind and survived battles that would have left a veteran trembling. Death was an afterthought, because death was only an extension of life. SeeDs at a young age were taught that death should not be feared, for a military mercenary could not afford to dwell on such things. But she was human and fear took hold eventually. Out of all the phobias and worries, nothing terrified Quistis more than being indecisive, of not knowing what path to choose, what plan to take. Even trivial matters would leave her frustrated and shaken, a flaw Quistis worked hard to conceal from observation. After fulfilling her destiny as a defender of the world from Ultimecia, Quistis would chance herself with one last mission. The objective was clear, she just hoped she knew what she was doing.