A/N: This is long, but not particularly significant...I think Natasha's Girl is working toward it's end...

Kristina and Morgan run down from her room. Viola ushered them out as she put Molly to sleep. Michael is quizzing Nikolas on "Johnny" aka "Spencer". He manages to grudgingly admit that it wasn't the worst name. Sonny looks good. Really good. He's involved in a quiet, but somewhat intense conversation with Alexis. I'm impressed that Alexis was able to get them here and that it seems so natural for them to be here. Kristina, always resilient, only said "It's too bad Daddy Ric couldn't come." I try to hide my re-born loathing of our step-father. Alexis does as well.

"Dinner is served Ms. Davis," Alfred states as he opens the doors to the dining room.

Michael screws up his face. "Is it always so formal here?"

"No" I assure him, "But this is a special occasion. We don't always have company."

Sonny takes Kristina's arm and escorts her through the doors, Nikolas takes Alexis' and Morgan and Michael follow their leads and each offer me an arm.

"Presents!" Kristina beams. "You get presents just for going to school?"

"I don't." Michael scowls at his dad.

"Michael, what do you call that i-pod in your pocket?"

Michael blushes. "Oh, yeah…thanks dad."

"First days of school are a very big deal, little miss."

Kristina hardly eats a thing, she keeps glancing back at the gifts on the buffet table. Alexis reprimands her a few times, then Sonny interrupts.

"Lex…let her open them."

"Sonny!"

Sonny flashes his dimples. "Please Alexis."

I watch as my mother melts in front of me. I've never seen anything like it. "Oh, alright. Michael can you hand out the presents?"

"Sam open yours first." Kristina jumps up and grabs a large box…Michael helps her deliver it to my place.

"I…I" I look at Alexis beaming at me. "Um, I thought the presents were for Krissy…"

Alexis nods. "Most of them are, but these are for you."

"I, you really shouldn't have. You've done so much for me already. I can't accept this."

"Hey, I know, Kristina, why don't you start. This one is from me and the boys." Krissy looks uncertainly from me to her father. "Go ahead…Sam will open hers later."

Krissy looks down, her smile gone. "Why don't you want your presents Sam? I helped Mommy wrap them. I had to keep it a secret for 3 whole days."

"Sam will open them later, baby, what did your dad get you?" Alexis asks.

"A Hello Kitty Calendar!" Kristina announces. "Thanks Daddy, thanks Michael. Thanks Morgan. How did you know I love Hello Kitty?"

"A little bird told me." Sonny's eyes twinkle.

"It's a special calendar Kristina, it starts in September so you can fill in all your days off and when your assignments are due." Michael explains.

"What are signments?"

"Homework, oh yeah, you're in Kindergarten…you might not have them yet."

"So what did Mom get you Kristina?" Sonny asks.

Soon Kristina has unwrapped her very own alarm clock (Hello Kitty again courtesy of Nikolas), a set of The original Boxcar Children, ("I think you're big enough for chapter books now, well read a chapter each night!" from Alexis) and a My first year of School Scrapbook from me. She's delighted by them all and lavishes hugs on the each of us.

Alexis has small gifts for the boys; a set of matchbox cars for Morgan; A homework organizer for Michael. He tries valiantly to act like he likes it. Making all the adults, even Alexis, laugh.

The whole time I'm fingering the wrapping on my gifts. I had no idea Alexis had bought anything for me. And feel a little foolish. I'm 26, and I'm going back to school. I'm more embarrassed and scared, than proud or excited. And here I am getting presents like a Kindergartener.

11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

December 27th 1987

Dear Sonja,

Another Christmas has come and gone and another year slipping by. It is strange to be 'home' again. It's not home, this island, this compound. It's just where my family lives. Such as it is.

I wonder what might have been, if I had the courage to stand up to my uncle. Why didn't I? I hope to God he was right. I hope I did the right thing. I hope that your parents celebrate you everyday. I hope that you are so loved that you never wonder about me, that you'll never regret a moment, that you will thank me if you ever desire to find me.

But in the back of my heart I'm afraid. Afraid that no one could ever love you the way I do. Find me someday. Tell me I didn't need to be afraid. Please.

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

"You forgot these." I look up to see Alexis walk into my room her arms full with my unopened gifts.

"I told you…I can't accept them." I return to my Psychology text. A moment later I glance back at her. "What happened with you and Ric?"

"Nothing." Alexis eases onto my loveseat.

"You didn't tell me it was about me…him moving out."

"It wasn't about you."

"Fine, you know if you're going to start lying again, I have a lot to do."

"Sam, I heard some of what Ric said to you. He was lashing out, I'm not the one who is lying. Ric is trying to blame you, but it was his decision to move out, to take care of Sonny. Honestly, I thought he was doing just that."

"But?"

"I talked to Sonny. He kicked Ric out weeks ago. I'm not sure what all went on, but the bottom line is Sonny is in therapy and on medication, and Ric is not in his life at the moment. I don't know why Ric didn't come back. We did fight about you, but I had no idea he resented the situation so much. He only complained that I wasn't with the girls enough, I thought we had worked that out. I honestly thought this was about Sonny, not you."

"I've disrupted everyone's lives. You uprooted your family, separated from your husband, you were almost forced to give up your job and now you're in therapy."

"Last time I checked, I'm still DA. I'm glad to be here with Nikolas. And sweetheart we both know the therapy was long overdue. Will you please open your presents?"

"I'm not five Alexis…I don't need gifts for being a brave girl and going to school. You've done way too much for me already."

"Sam, I've never seen you unwrap a gift. Not once." She shifts toward me. "Do you know how much restraint it took not to buy 26 years worth of birthday and Christmas gifts for you the minute I found you?" She flashes a sad smile. "If you don't want the laptop, I understand."

"You bought me a laptop?"

"You know it's a laptop" true enough, it was laptop shaped "…if you don't want it, okay, but open the other one please."

She hands me the smaller package. I pull back the paper to reveal a small red leather wallet. "Open it!"

"You gave me money?"

"Open it!"

Inside there are a series of pictures. The first one is Molly, the next Spencer, then Kristina, then Nikolas. My mouth drops at the final picture Alexis, Kristina, Molly and I sitting together at the cove.

"When?"

"Viola took it last week. I'm having one framed for my office, and one for home, but I thought maybe you'd like to keep your family close." My eyes sting with fresh tears, Alexis pulls me to her. "There is plenty of room left for other pictures, for Jason and Danny…"

"Thank you. I love it."

"Please keep the laptop." Alexis mumbles into my hair.

I pull back and smile. "Is it a Dell?"

"Is there anything else?" She smiles. "I love you Samantha."