"Is everything ok?" – Mel asked, clearly worried when she saw Arizona's face changing.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm… hm… I just need to go to the toilet, for one sec. Be right back" – Arizona didn't even wait for Mel to say something and stormed towards the bathroom.
She didn't take her phone along with her. She just needed to cool it off. She washed her flushed and warm cheeks, trying to put her mind back at where it belongs. It was just a text. Just a damn text and look how it shook her. Thirty seconds ago, she was ready to go upstairs and maybe have a casual hot sex with a sexy gorgeous woman who wanted her. Something light, drama-free. The way it was supposed to be with Amelia, but right now, she didn't know what to do nor what she wanted. If Amelia appeared, then what next? Are they trying to be something? Anything at all? Or it would be just a desperate needy encounter that won't lead them anywhere further? She needed to go back to the bar and so she did.
"I'm back, sorry for leaving you alone" – Arizona apologized, even though that didn't make any sense.
"It's ok, don't worry. Are you ok?" – Mel was still worried.
"Yeah, sure. Listen, it's getting late… shall we end it in here?" – Arizona suggested.
"Yeah, however you want. I'll ask them to bill it in my room…" – Mel got interrupted.
"No way! Consider it a pre-birthday celebration. I've got this" – Arizona smiled, trying to be nice.
"Thank you. Have you decided about tomorrow? Portland? Road trip?" – Mel asked, staring at Arizona with heavenly sweet eyes.
"With that puppy eyes of yours it's actually pretty hard to say no…" – Arizona confessed.
"Is that a yes?" – Mel asked, raising her voice in excitement.
Arizona took a little longer than expected to answer. She wanted to go, she owed that to herself: an adventure, something unexpected, something potentially good. On the other hand, she couldn't stop thinking about Amelia's text. She was lost inside her thoughts when another buzz in her phone woken her up.
Flight DL 747 cancelled on March 2nd due to weather conditions in NY area. Please, access our app to reschedule the next convenient option.
"Well, my flight just got cancelled. I guess the universe is sending me a sign…" – Arizona chuckled – "Let's go to Portland"
"Yay!" – Mel exclaimed, smiling beautifully.
As they were heading towards the elevator, Arizona could feel Mel's eyes all over her, filled with desire. The young doctor was expecting something more out of that night, but Arizona's mind was elsewhere. When they entered the elevator, Mel pressed the fourth floor and looked right at Arizona's eyes, their faces closer than before.
"Listen, hm… do you want to get one last drink back in my room before we call it the night?" – Mel suggested.
"Mel…" – Arizona's voice was tender and filled with sorry – "I think I need to sleep now. I want to be well enough to be a good company tomorrow. Is that ok?"
"Of course. I see you tomorrow" – Mel kissed Arizona on the right cheek, making the blonde shiver, and headed out when the elevator's doors opened.
"Wait. What time do we leave tomorrow?" – Arizona shouted.
"8am. Sharp" – Mel answered, without looking back.
Damn. Arizona thought. She let go a unique opportunity to finally occupy her mind with someone other than Amelia. She didn't know if she should text her back or no. What she would say? If she remained silent, would Amelia just show up? Or would she understand the message? She typed and erased an answer a thousand times. That was eating her alive. Before she could make up her mind about what to do, Amelia called her.
- Hello
- Hi. Did I wake you?
- No. I was getting ready to bed, actually.
- Did you get my text?
- I did.
- I'm sorry. I know I was out of line.
- Amelia…
- No, I'm serious. I asked for the space, I ended things. I understand that's a little crazy.
- It's not crazy. It's unfair.
- Arizona, no, it's not like that...
- I know it's not intentionally, but if I'm being honest, it's quite unfair for you to do that.
- Why?
- Because the minute I told you how I feel about you, you told me that you couldn't do this. Not right now, not with me…
- That doesn't have anything to do with you…
- I know. I know. But that doesn't change anything either. I respected your decision and tried to deal with it my way and when I see you, you don't make it any easier.
- It's because it's not easy for me, too. I care about you.
- Me too, Amelia. You know I do. But if you're not ready to date me, or anyone for that matter, then you should let me go.
- I know. I've tried.
- Did anything change? About us?
- No… I… I don't know. I reaaly do think it's better for me to be alone.
- Well, then you should try harder to do that. I have to go now, Amelia. Have a good night.
Arizona hung up the phone feeling a little better, despite the whole thing. She made herself clear, she understood Amelia's reason, but now she needed to take care of herself as well.
In her room, Amelia started to cry after the call. There were soft tears running down her cheeks other than sobbing. It was like a familiar pain inside her chest that she was getting used to. Feeling alone, feeling unloved. She couldn't possibly ask Arizona to love her – even though Arizona treated her with nothing but tenderness – but once again she was tasting the bittersweet taste of letting someone she cared so much go. She felt the urge to drink. Maybe take some pills. Getting lost inside the night with nothing in her mind to worry about. Looking at her bedside table and seeing Scout's photo made her realize that she couldn't do any of that. Not anymore. Now she had someone who depended on her, who needed her, who loved her.