Sad

Chapter Two

By Catrina

A/N: I don't own these boys and girls; I just play with their lives. Enjoy chapter two and please remember, this is a yaoi themed story.

00-00-00-00

Athrun thought that is was odd that only after two days of being with Kira that it felt unnatural to walk out the door without him. It felt simply odd not to have the other boy at his side. For the last two days, excluding the time that they had slept, they were together laughing or talking. But now as he left the house leaving Kira behind it felt completely odd that he wasn't there. Athrun raised green eyes to the sky knowing that in about 16 hours he would be in the PLANTS settled and having dinner while listening to Cagalli try not to get mad at another politician. It wasn't that she was bad at her job it was more along the lines that most people forgot that they were under the age if 20. The war had aged them. He turned and looked back at the house and for a moment he thought he saw the curtains in Kira's room flutter. He raised his hand to keep the dark hair from blowing in his eyes, but still he didn't see anything.

He was not really a moment closer to really understanding what was going on with Kira. Kira had seemed like the same old Kira to him, he didn't seem different at all, but he believed Lacus, because even while they had spent time together, he too, could feel the inherent sadness that was wrapped around Kira.

Getting in his car, he drove away trying not to think that he had just abandoned his truest friend. Arriving swiftly he picked up a waiting Cagalli, who quickly threw her things in the back and jumped in.

"So, how was he?"

"I'm good Cagalli, how are you?" Athrun asked sarcastically turning to look at the golden-eyed beauty.

"Good, so did you find what was up with Kira?" She asked again bringing the conversation back to her brother.

"Not really, he was fine around me, but he still seemed sad. But he ate normally and slept normally, so I'm confused. I thought that after this short tour in the PLANTS that I would go and see him again."

"Is he just bored?" Cagalli asked looking out the window and putting on her sunglasses as Athrun pulled out of the driveway that led up the large mason mansion they were leaving.

"I don't think that is the case either."

"Is he in love?" Cagalli asked trying to come up with any reason for he brother's strange behavior.

"Lacus?" The thought sent a pain straight through his heart. That thought had never even crossed his mind. Could Kira be in love with Lacus and just not know what to do about it? It was something that they hadn't talked about. He knew that Lacus cared a lot for his violet eyed brunette friend, but he didn't think that it was that strong. Just the thought of that caused his heart to seize and his eyes to water. He wanted Kira to love him. He wanted Kira to want him. He didn't want Kira to even think about Lacus.

Cagalli watched with rapt interest as Athrun's knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel hard. "Hey, you okay?" She waited a moment and when he didn't respond she touched his shoulder lightly. He jumped almost like she had startled him. "Athrun?"

"Yeah?" He was wearing sunglasses so it was hard to see what he was thinking but he seemed upset.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just wish that I could figure it out. When we were younger, we were always in synch. We knew each other better then anyone else, and we fought so well against and with each other, we have always know what was going on in the other's head. But this, he's hiding from me. I don't get it." The last part was said more to himself then the companion in the passenger seat.

"Well is it about you?" Cagalli asked

For a moment something that Lacus said echoed through his head. She had said it that morning when he overslept.

"What." He had asked as the other girl had looked at him

"It's you." She said on a smile.

"Huh?" He asked again finishing off his meal.

"Nothing, it's just you."

"I don't know how it could be. I haven't been around; we haven't been really hanging out. I have been busy and so has he."

"I know but what over the last two days was strange?" Cagalli asked probing.

"Nothing and what's with the 20 questions anyway?" He growled as he swung into a parking spot at the port where her shuttle was looking. He really didn't have to worry about security yet, in Orb there really wasn't a lot of concern because she was already so well protected. It was when they boarded the shuttle that Athrun's job really started.

"Can't I worry about my brother?" Cagalli asked but Athrun noted that when she took off her sunglasses there was mischief in her eyes.

"Not this worried. You were the one who said it was just something that he needed to get over."

"I was angry; you should know that was why I said that and that I wouldn't mean it. Kira went though a lot. You know he was never like you, he was always so sensitive and anything could make the boy cry."

"I know that, he was always like that. Cry at the drop of a hat, but he was still strong, you know. He always had a stubborn streak. Why do you think that he always said no when I asked him to come to the PLANTS. He wanted to, he never wanted to fight against me but he had told himself that he had people to protect…

"Hey…" Cagalli seemed to hit a though as Athrun grabbed both her bags and his.

"What?" Athrun questioned grunting a little under the weight of the bags.

"Is he trying to protect someone maybe?" Cagalli asked.

"Like who?" Athrun asked as the walked to the shuttle after getting scanned by security. Someone came forward and grabbed the bags from Athrun and he relinquished them noting the other boy buckle a little under their weight.

"You, me, Lacus, himself? I don't know it was just an idea." Cagalli muttered glaring a little at the beautiful boy beside her. Slowly they got settled in and the conversation came to a standstill until Cagalli laid a hand on his. "Don't worry, he'll be okay, he is so much stronger then we all give him credit for."

"I know." Then he sat back, buckled up, and watched as the earth disappeared underneath them.

The trip was uneventful. About 12 into the trip they both fell asleep and then woke an hour before it was time to land. They both went to their respective bathrooms, to change and get ready for the first meeting that would take place as soon as they landed. Up in the PLANTS it was only early evening, but in earth it was already 10:00 at night. He knew that he promised Kira he would call when he landed, but it looked like it would have to wait until he got to his hotel room, checked out the security, and got Cagalli settled. But he couldn't help thinking that Kira was just too far away. He never thought of bringing Kira with him. If it weren't for all the politics the bet that Kira would actually enjoy the PLANTS. The disembarked and were met by security and politicians alike and they followed along as the all went to their hotel, met, ate and around late evening they were allowed to leave. It only took a few minutes to get Cagalli settled, and the girl was fast asleep. He met with security and went over the plans of the hotel and then he went into his adjoining suite and went straight to the video screen and dialed the number he knew by heart. He waited as the satellite connected him to earth.

00-00-00-00

He said he was going to call. Athrun didn't lie, but he hadn't called yet. It took 16 hours to get to the PLANTS and they were four hours behind. Doing the math he realized they would have gotten there at 11:00 his time, an hour or so to get settled and then Athrun should have called. But that was, looking at the clock Kira realized how late it really was. Athrun should have called four hours ago. Kira hung his head, realizing that he was indeed a fool.

Here he was waiting on Athrun to call like…like… like they were more then friends. What in the world was he thinking? That kiss…that total and complete accident that had happened earlier today was exactly that. An accident. There was nothing that said that Athrun felt more for him the friendship.

But that didn't really explain how badly Kira simply wanted to see his face right now. There was nothing else that he wanted more then to simply see Athrun's face. Kira wanted to fall into those deep green eyes, and be tucked safe against that warm body. Athrun had always been close, always been in his mind and his heart and there was nothing that was false about that statement. He smiled a little as Torii flew and landed on his shoulder. Feeling a little better, he pet the mechanical bird, feeling a little more secure since he had a piece of Athrun with him always.

He sat on his bed, watching the vid screen that he received his few calls on. He watched and waited and hoped that there would be that slight buzzing noise that would tell him that someone wanted to talk to him. And at first he was sure he imagined it, but he was up and pressing the button before he even realized that it hadn't finished ringing, but Athrun was their looking at the screen in surprise.

"Hey." Athrun said softly surprised to see the other boy away and waiting. He looked tire and pale but Athrun had to smile because there he was…waiting for him.

"Hey." Why was this awkward?

"How are you?" Athrun asked softly knowing something was up, by the fact that the boy was even still awake.

"Good…um…you?" Kira asked finally looking up and actually meeting Athrun's eyes.

"Tired… What are you still doing up? I thought that I would just leave a message." He spoke softly knowing that the mic would pick it up.

"You… you said you would call." Kira said softly, for a moment the older boy wondered if he should have said that because a look of shock crossed Athrun's face.

"Kira, you really need to take better care of yourself. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to call in advance."

"It's okay; I know that you and Cagalli are really busy." Kira looked behind Athrun part of him was afraid that they shared a room; he didn't think that he could take it if he saw Cagalli sleeping in Athrun's bed as he called his friend who happened to be in love with him.

"She's in her room." Athrun stated as he saw Kira's shifting eyes. "Did you need to talk to her?" Athrun asked as Kira turned downcast guilty eyes his way.

"No…no it's okay."

"We don't sleep in the same room." Athrun stated a little angry, wondering if Kira wondered if he was taking advantage of his sister. "Our relationship isn't like that."

Kira couldn't find it in himself to ask how their relationship was. He really didn't think that he could handle it. He wanted to ask when Athrun was coming back, if he was coming to stay with him, and if he wanted to kiss him again, but he couldn't do it. There was no way that he could ask those questions, they were far to personal for how far he knew he had to distance himself from Athrun.

Athrun noticed the silence on the other end and waited as Kira's mind seemed to come up with answers to questions he wasn't going to ask.

"Kira." He waited for the other boy to respond. "Kira!" He said again and the other boy looked up and while the video link was a little blurry he thought that he saw tears in Kira's eyes. Athrun reached a hand toward the other boy and almost growled when his hand ran into the screen.

"Yeah, I should go. I'll talk to you later?" Kira asked feeling the need to get rid of Athrun and quick, normally he wasn't afraid to cry in front of others, but this was Athrun and even more it was about something that he couldn't say.

Kira disconnected the line before the tears started to fall. Athrun had been gone for so long, that it had been okay to live with kind of pain. But then he had to come around and stir up all the pain and longing. He needed to avoid Athrun that would be the best plan of action. He ignored the vid screen as the incoming call buzzed and he watched the red light flash, then turn yellow, Athrun was leaving a message. Then it buzzed again. He turned down the sound and went to his bed, crawled in and curled around himself. It would be best if he forgot…he should just forget everything.

When the sun rose, Kira realized he had gotten little sleep. Around his room computers hummed and he got to work finishing in the ones that he had. Later that day he delivered them, and then went to the store. Dai smiled as he walked in.

"Hey Kira." Dai was the old man who ran the store and Kira helped him out every once in a while.

"Hey, how are you?"

"I should ask you that. You like you didn't sleep a wink last night." The graying aging man looked him over from head to toe. "And you can't get any skinnier."

"It was a long night." Kira said softly a blush across his cheeks. He had woke up to find three messages all from Athrun last night.

"Kira, I know you like your freedom, but what you say…work for me?" He and Dai when through this almost every day when he would come in…next would be the offer. "There's a furnished apartment above the store, you can still help out at the orphanage." And then after that… "I'm getting old." But this time Kira looked up and he saw something in the older man's gaze, it was understanding. Dai knew what he was going through.

"I won't ask questions, I won't try to help. I'll just let you do what you need to do." To Kira it sounded great, for once it sounded like something he wanted. Someone who wasn't going to ask questions…

"I can't…Dai you know that. I need to stay with Lacus." He always felt that he needed to stay with Lacus, needed to protect her…just in case.

"Maybe for a couple days, boy. I can't help thinking you have too much in that head of yours."

"Maybe I do." Kira offered a shy smile, but the man wasn't fooled. "But don't worry; it's all getting sorted out."

"Talk to that lady friend of yours, maybe for just a couple days."

"Thanks Dai, but my problems aren't in that house." Kira tilted his head to the side his long bangs covering part of his face. He left with his purchases, and then stopped at a couple houses to pick up two laptops that he was going to be working on and then headed back to the house.

"How was Dai?" Lacus asked when he came back, she was setting the table for the evening meal, and he could hear the kids getting washed up for the meal. This was the one meal that he could never avoid. Lacus would drag him down and make him eat, and the kids love the fact that they all ate together. It made them feel like a family.

"Good. Are we ready to eat?" Kira asked sad smile crossing his face and Lacus sighed.

"Oh Kira." She felt her heart break a little finally realizing so much and there was nothing she could do.

And the days passed.

And his acting got better.

00-00-00-00

He debated about calling Kira again. A week after the abrupt end of his call he wasn't sure what to do. For the first time in a long time he felt that the ground was shaking underneath their friendship.

Cagalli had noticed his disposition and it seemed like the two were fighting less and less.

"Call him!" Cagalli yelled when they got to their rooms after lunch.

"Huh?"

"You think I'm stupid. Call Kira, you are worried sick about him and you can barely concentrate on a conversation because you are worried about that idiot genius brother of mine." Cagalli stormed to her own suite leaving Athrun hanging. He looked at the screen. His last vision of Kira was of the boy about to cry and he needed to know why, but he knew that Kira would however avoid him so; he placed a call to Lacus.

"Hello Athrun." Her voice was sweet as she picked up her line and she smiled sweetly.

"Lacus how are you?" He asked politely.

"I'm fine, but I have a feeling that you aren't calling about me." She had a teasing smile around her lips and he knew that she knew something.

"I'm sorry, but I was wondering how Kira was." He asked her softly, he really didn't expect her to give him a hard time, but he should have known better.

"And why don't you ask him yourself?" She asked him.

"He's won't answer my calls." Even Athrun could hear the frustration in his own voice.

"Why is this so important to you Athrun?" Lacus leaned forward; the question was bright in her eyes. He had a feeling that she already knew the answer.

"He's my friend, I'm worried." He stated exasperated, used to answering the same question from Cagalli.

"No, it's more then that isn't it Athrun?" Lacus asked again and she looked a little confused.

"Huh?" Lacus watched in confusion. Could he really not see it? Was Athrun really just as dense as Kira? No that wasn't possible…was it?

"Athrun, why are you so worried about Kira?"

"He's my friend." He growled frustrated with Lacus's game.

"No…Why are you so worried?"

"Last time I talked to him, he was going to cry." Athrun told her, hoping that maybe she would give in.

"Why?" Lacus knew she had to push, one of them had to realize it, she had a feeling that Kira already knew that he was in love with Athrun, but it was this one that was clueless. He didn't know that he loved Kira back; either that or he was just so used to his feelings toward Kira...that was it…

Idiots. Both of them.

"Why what!?"

"Why was he crying, what did you say?"

"I…I don't…I can't remember. Every thing was fine as far as I could tell."

"Then why would he be upset. Can't you figure it out Athrun?" Lacus was angry with him but her voice never wavered. "Think back, what were you talking about?"

"He didn't think I was going to call, that I could tell. He should have been asleep, I…I just don't know."

"Athrun, you are hopeless, just like Kira."

"Lacus, just tell me what you know." Athrun almost felt the need to throw his hands in the air in exasperation.

"Kira's in love."

"That's not possible. Love makes people happy." Athrun knew that he sounded like he was talking to an infant but he knew for a fact that love generally was a happy think. Unless of course you were Athrun…then you just fall in love with your best friend, who happens to be straight. There was no way that Kira could be attracted to him, but then again… Kira didn't pull away from the accidental kiss. In fact if he remembered right Kira had looked like he got hit by a shock, eyes wide and surprised, and that sigh. He could stand to hear that again.

"Love doesn't always make you happy." Lacus stated softly. "Think Athrun what if you were in love and the person you loved you thought, loved someone else."

"I can see…"

"To make it worse what if you thought the person you loved was in love with say…" Lacus paused for a little bit of a dramatic effect, "Maybe your sister?"

"I don't have a sister." Lacus felt the need to hit her head against a table.

"Kira does." Lacus finally giving up disconnected and went back to making dinner for the kids.

She couldn't…

She wasn't saying that…

Was Kira in love? Was Kira in love with him?

"We were talking about Cagalli, he was seeing if she was in my bedroom." Athrun said it out loud but was thankful that no one was around to hear him. He just couldn't believe…this wasn't possible.

Well didn't that solve all his problems?

But create twice as many.

He wanted to call Lacus, but he already knew that he was reading it right. He just wondered how long Kira had loved him…he had loved Kira since…well since forever. While they went to school together they were really too young to understand that what they felt was more then just friendship. And when they found out that they would be parting there were tears on both sides. He had poured hours into making Torii and Kira had cried when he gave him the mechanical bird. But at least he knew that Kira would always have a part of him. The years apart had been long and he guessed that when they lost contact both of them moved on. But it was the war that started everything again. That first startled look at him, and then when Kira returned Lacus. He remembered when Lacus had told him that he still had Torii. Part of him had been overjoyed. Kira still thought of him… They could still be friends.

As long as he could remember, Kira's 'betrayal' had cut deep, but he realized that it the end they had both ended up fighting for the right side, but that left both of them here…now.

But now what?

The next couple days Athrun was more confused then before, but after a couple swift hits to the head from Cagalli, he put his mind back on the mission and while nothing happened to Cagalli his vigil was constant, but Kira was still in the corner of his mind and his heart... just like always.

00-00-00-00

"Kira, there you are." She opened the door and noted the other boy perched over a torn apart laptop. She set down the sandwich that she brought in seeing that the one she had brought in yesterday, sitting with just a couple bites out of it. She stood over him as he worked. It may be a good thing that he had to look up to her for this conversation. "Kira you're not eating, what would Athrun say?"

"Athrun…" He drew out the name as he took a small screwdriver out of his mouth, "isn't here right now to play mommy. Besides, I'm not his concern." Kira quickly screwed in the processor before once again putting the screwdriver in his mouth working with deft hands to put the computer parts in the right slots. Lacus watched partially memorized by his skilful hands and partially disappointed in him. He really was never was great at taking care of himself.

"So are you just going to live like this?" Lacus asked as she sat down and watched him.

"Like how?" His purple eyes glanced up and then quickly back down as he continued working, placing the casing around the laptop and using that screwdriver to put the computer back together.

"Like this, you aren't eating; you aren't taking care of yourself. This isn't going to heal your broken heart." Lacus studied him as he froze, she could see the thoughts processing through his mind. "Do you really think that avoiding Athrun will fix everything? You can't keep avoiding is calls, what if it was somebody else, what if Sai was trying to get a hold of you or your parents?"

"Lacus, I just… I just have to work through some things."

"You aren't being fair to Athrun."

"When did you figure this out?" Kira asked softly starting down at his hands that were still poised over the computer he was working on.

"While he was here." Lacus put a hand on his shoulder feeling how tense he was. "At least tell him why you are avoiding him."

"What just come out and say, 'Hey Athrun, I know what we're friends, but I've loved you for a while now, and just wanted to let you know, even though you love my sister. By the way I think its best we not see each other for…like…the rest of our lives'." Kira looked up at Lacus; his sarcastic statement was offset by the dead serious look on his face. "How was that Lacus?" Kira asked before turning back to the computer and connecting it to his laptop to start with the reprogramming.

"Well, not exactly like that. Kira, you don't know what he'll say."

"Like what could he say? It's not like he'll say, 'me too' and everything will be okay. He loves Cagalli, it seems wrong for me to be selfish and ruin his relationship with her just to let him know how I feel. This way I'll still be his friend, I will stand up in their wedding, and I will be an uncle to their kids." Lacus felt her own heart break at what Kira was putting himself through; she was sure that Athrun felt the same way, but this was just too much, "I'll heal eventually Lacus, just give me time to work through it." He looked up at her his big emotion-fill eyes pleading with her not to push, to just understand and to let it lie.

"Oh Kira." Not really know what else to do she dropped into his lap and wrapped her arms around him and cried for him. His lean strong arms wrapped around her and she cried for all his heartache and all his pain.

"It'll be okay." She felt his head tilt into the curve of her neck and she felt his own hot tears, yet here he was comforting her as she cried for him.

Others may call Kira weak and a crybaby, but many did not understand his true strength. He would always give so much and never ever ask for a thing.

His strength was all in his heart.

00-00-00-00

Kira knew that he would answer the next call that came through to his line but he didn't expect another call from Athrun the day before he was supposed to arrive back on earth. Needless to say he was a little startled that Athrun was showering him with his attentions. Granted whenever Athrun was in Orb it wasn't strange for them to spend a couple days together but most of his attention was with Cagalli and whenever they went out it was as a group. Usually with the activity of having both girls with them he could keep his eyes off Athrun, but it was much harder to do when the other boy was intent on seeing him alone. When he answered the line, Athrun's face came in clear, as did his sarcastic comment.

"Decided to talk to me again?"

"Hello, to you to Athrun." Kira stated not angry at all, Athrun had a reason to be angry, Kira had been rude. "I'm sorry about last week; I didn't mean to be so rude."

"Why were you?" Athrun asked looking at him.

"I just needed to get some sleep I was tired…it was nothing." Kira looked like he really had himself convinced of that fact, so he thought it best not to push the subject even more.

"Hey, I'm going to come and see you tomorrow when I get back, you free?"

"I don't really think that's a good idea. I'm really busy with the work from Dai and the other things I've got going on I'm going to be busy a while."

"Just for a couple hours…"

"I'm really busy, maybe in a couple weeks?" Kira asked and he looked so hopeful and sad at the same time and Athrun knew what he was thinking. Athrun knew that Kira wanted to see him, but it just hurt too much.

"Kira, we need to talk, please? I don't like this, this distance you're creating, you're my friend…"

"Athrun…" Kira was pleading just by saying his name, but Athrun knew that so much could be fixed with one little conversation.

"Kira, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Athrun…" But he was already gone and all Kira felt now was and that he needed to run, but he knew that he couldn't.

That night he found that he got little to no sleep, so he decided that he would just work on all the computers sitting in his room. Giving up on sleep at around 4:00 in the morning he got started. Lacus came through like she always did with breakfast and lunch, making sure he ate something, and he worked the day away.

00-00-00-00

It was noon when the shuttle landed, and as Athrun rose and stretched he felt good…really good.

Today was the start of his new life…a life with Kira.

00-00-00-00

Okay, how did chapter 2 go? I wanted to get more into their personalities and have Cagalli and Lacus there so I hope that you all liked. Thanks for all those who reviewed. With the lack of Kira x Athrun stories I was almost afraid to post this, but I'm glad you like it.

Again tell me what you think and thanks for reading.

Cat