Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.
"Thank you for your time, doctor." Yuki bowed to the red-headed doctor before him. He recieved a bow in return.
Yuki turned to see Shuichi sitting on the steps just outside the hospital door. He had his knees to his chin staring ahead of him, poorly disguised with his sunglasses and Nittle Grasper cap. Yuki frowned at the sight of his lover. And frown even deeper at the white bandages wrapped around his wrists.
"You would never think that someone like him would stoop so low as to try and kill himself." the doctor said more to himself than Yuki, though Yuki heard him loud and clear.
He looked at the doctor in suspicion.
"What do you mean?"
The doctor looked at him in suprise. He laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head.
"Well," he replied, "he just seems so happy. I mean, seeing him in TV and stuff..."
Yuki glared.
"Don't always believe everything you see on TV." Yuki said turning his face away from the doctor and back to Shuichi.
The doctor looked at him, a confused expression on his face. Yuki turned his back to him.
"People like Shuichi have to put on shows...acts...make themselves seem happier than they are, just for their fans' sake. What kind of good artist would let his fans' know his weaknesses." Yuki said slowly, his voice gruff, tired, and confused. "Poor Shuichi, he was always different. He can always bounce back from any situation easily, no matter what is was that happened. He has been put through so much in his career, and he always can bounce back and forget about the past easily. That's what worries me. Usually by now he would be bouncing around being his usual, annoying self. But this..this is just scary."
The doctor nodded to Yuki's back. "If this leaks out to the press then who knows what would happen."
Yuki turned to the doctor abruptly and said with a fiery voice, grabbing the front of the doctor's shirt, "Speak nothing of this! If you do so much as say a single word, I swear I'll.."
"I assure you, Eiri-san," the doctor replied prying Yuki's hand off his shirt, "that I will not say a thing."
Yuki nodded, letting the doctor go and again turning his back.
"But, I must ask you something..."
Yuki replied, "Ask me what?"
"Has Shindo mentioned anything about why he decided to kill himself?"
"No..why?" Yuki's suspicion growing in his voice.
"Oh, nothing, I was just curious."
Yuki turned his head and glared at the doctor. "He will tell me when he is ready."
"I understand, Eiri-san. Tell Shuichi I wish him the best of luck."
Yuki replied with a grunt before stopping and looking back at the doctor who was now waving at him.
"Wait a minute...why'd you--" The doctor was already down the hall and out of earshot.
Yuki cursed to himself. That doctor addressed his lover by his first name, like he was familiar with him...
Shuichi looked blankly ahead of him, not really noticing anything that was in front of him. He was scared. Yuki would be keeping a close eye on him now. He knew he should tell the novelist what lead up to this, but he just couldn't muster up the courage. He didn't want to hurt the love of his life. He didn't want Yuki to leave him...
He looked up seeing Yuki walk out of the hospital.
"Ready to go?" Yuki asked him in a soft voice.
Shuichi nodded and allowed Yuki to help him to his feet. They walked to Yuki's car. It smelled bad because of the dry blood in Yuki's back seat from Shuichi's wrists, but both ignored it and went home in silence. Every now and then Shuichi would feel Yuki's glance burn into him. He would turn his face to his beautiful lover, give him a smile, sweet smile, take his free hand and squeeze, recieving a squeeze back.
"Yuki, are you angry?" Shuichi said as they pulled into the apartment complex parking lot.
"No." Yuki answered after a moment. "Just..nothing."
"No, Yuki, you can tell me. It's okay." Shuichi said, wanting to know what his lover thought about the situation.
"You scared the hell out of me, Shu." he answered. "I can still see you lying there...It was scary, sickening, and I never want to go through that again."
"I'm sorry." Shuichi whispered.
"Quit saying that, Shu." Yuki growled. After sitting with Shuichi overnight hearing him say that over and over, he just didn't want to hear it at all. After all, Yuki felt like it was his fault anyways.
Shuichi looked down at his knees. Yuki turned the ignition off and got out of the car. Shuichi followed suit and they walked up to their apartment.
Yuki unlocked the door, they both walked in. Shuichi looked around the apartment. It was the same old apartment that he had seen everyday for the past two years of being with Yuki, but everything felt so new to him now. He felt like a stranger, uncomfortable.
Yuki went into the kitchen. The pool of blood was still there, only dried now, a dull brown. Yuki wrinkled his nose in disgust while grabbing some paper towels, wetting them, and getting on his knees to wipe away the blood.
"Yuki?" Shuichi said walking into the kitchen, seeing him on his hands and knees cleaning the floor.
"Why don't you go and lay down or something. Get some rest." he answered without even looking at his lover, still wiping away the blood.
Shuichi looked down at his feet.
"I don't like that doctor." he said aloud to himself.
Yuki looked over at him. "You don't like that doctor?"
Shuichi looked up in shock, realizing that he had talked aloud.
"Oh, uh, it..it's nothing." he said quickly. "I'm going to go watch TV..."
"Shuichi." Yuki said in a final tone making Shuichi stop in his tracks. "Is there something about that doctor that I need to know about?"
"No, not at all." Shuichi put on a fake grin. "I just didn't like him, that's all."
Shuichi turned on his heels and went back into the living room. Yuki could hear the television being turned on.
"Me either." he said, finishing up the floor.
'I almost ratted myself out.' Shuichi thought, his eyes focused on the TV, but he wasn't really watching it. 'You musn't know, Yuki. You musn't know. I shouldn't even be alive right now. Why did you save me, Yuki? Why didn't you just let me die?'
Yuki walked up to his lover and sat beside him on the couch. He knew Shuichi wasn't watching TV because his eyes weren't focused. His eyes were drawn day to the white bandages on his lover's wrists. He gently ran a finger down one arm, feeling the stitches that was keeping his lovers skin together to heal. The nurses said that they could put Shuichi through laser surgery to take away the scars that he will have and the press, or anyone else at that matter, would know of that happened. Shuichi gladly agreed. That was the last thing he wanted..the press to know.
Shuichi flinched feeling his lover run his finger down his wrist. He looked over at Yuki seeing the utter sadness in his blonde angel's eyes.
'Oh, God, no matter what I do I still hurt him. Why am I such a mess up?'
"Shuichi, what did you do that brought you to this?" Yuki said, still rubbing his lover's bandages, looking into those big violet eyes, searching for answers.
Shuichi knew that question was coming. He wasn't ready to answer it. He would never be ready to answer it. But he couldn't keep it from Yuki. He was hurting Yuki by not telling him. He would hurt Yuki by telling him. Either way, there was no easy solution. Either way, it was going to end up the same.
He sighed, his eyes fixed on the floor.
"A lot of things." he answered.
Yuki looked confused. "A lot of things?"
"Mhm. To make a long story short...I deliberatly defied what you asked me not to do, I cheated on you, and I...I..."
Yuki had ceased to breathe.
"What, Shuichi, what?!" He was becoming more and more desperate for details.
"I..."
(A/N): AHH guys please don't hate me for ending it like this! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I was just about to get to his confession. I want a whole chapter to tell what all happened. So, bear with me. I'm trying hard. Please review!