A/N: I know, I know, it's November and I'm a bad widdwe girl. But I spent all day reading 'The Aztec Incident' By AgiVega. LOVE it. Best.A/H.Fic.Ever. It read just like another AF book... :heaps continual love onto AgiVega:

Sooo... Why am I here instead of working on my awesome novel? Well, I read this huge long fanfic right? And then all I could think of was Artemis Fowl. Seriously - I was RPing Harry Potter with one of my friends and kept making Harry act like Artemis - and the Harry in our story is really dumb. I even accidentally typed 'Artemis' once, before correcting myself. I couldn't write my NaNoWriMo all day because my head was filled with Artemis Fowl (which is bad, because I'm like 3000 words behind, not going on again until it's over!) and so now, I have turned to a SHORT update of this. Tomorrow I'll probably start reading the sequel to Aztec Incident... NO! BAAAD TOMO! SHOULD BE WRITING NOVEL! GRAAARGH!

Reviews. Once again, too many to answer all, so just ones that stand out.

Fiona: No, my glasses are SO better than Brendan's. Actually no. Strike that. Mine are horrible and make me look like I'm 24. I wanna steal Brendan's glasses. Damn. Pssh, and it's pretty obvious Jamie likes you. Even if you hate him (And I can't blame you!) Heh I didn't check my reviews until like... today, so I kinda knew you weren't there. See ya in two days, hopefully.

Annie-Morphs: You just deserve props for writing such an awesomely long review:hearts:

AgiVega: As stated above, I LOVE your writing! XD :fangirls wildly:

hollybridgetpeppermint: Duh I wanna join! Minerva is... EEEEEEEEVIL! Who knew a published author was capable of writing such a Mary-Sue? Heh and yes, I'm totally into pixel art, so I'll pixel some awesome IHMC stuff, just 'cause. I would have liked to write her death more bloodily and in more gory horrible maniacal sadistic detail, but I figured I'll save that for another fic. :3 Oh, and I officially deem you awesome. Just 'cause. :gives shiny badge of awesomeness:

Also, Props go to: ckontowderdon32, Summerset, RiverWren, Devoted99, MONKIY, Tigster5, TeeHee, InuSinkes, and xSimplyxMagical, just for reviewing. YOU ALL RULE!

When Artemis Lost His Brain - Dreamin' 3 (Don't you hate me for doing alternating chapters like this:P)

Artemis Fowl the second was not sleeping well. Not well at all. In fact, he was thrashing in his bed, face screwed up in an expression of deep concentration. There was no dream this time. There was only pain. Pain and loss. Something was gone... something important. Something Artemis couldn't do without. And he needed it back. It was getting further and further, escaping into the black nothingness of time, when Artemis sat up in bed, panting and shaking. It took him about two seconds to realise that something was in his bed that shouldn't be. Or someone who shouldn't be.

"Holly?" He whispered, nudging the presence next to him.

Holly groaned, rolling over and peeling open tired eyes. She squealed when she saw him, and whispered; "Artemis? What the hell are you doing here?"

"This is my room, and you are in my bed."

"Oh... Uh... I must have sleepwalked. Sorry, Artemis."

"No problem." He shrugged absently. "I must admit, you're nice to wake up looking at."

Holly smiled, pinching his cheek playfully. "You're not so bad yourself, Mud Boy."

There was a moment. One of those moments where eyes lock and the air fills with static. Faces draw closer together, and...

Domovoi Butler busts into the room, Sig Sauer drawn.

Artemis sighed, looking away from Holly, blushing slightly. "What is it, Butler?"

"Sorry Artemis... I heard voices. I see now that it was just you two molesting each other." He winked at Artemis, departing and closing the door. Artemis and Holly were both blushing now, heads turned away from each other.

Holly broke the awkward silence, where both were realising what they had almost done. "I guess I'll go back to bed then." She said in a shaky voice.

"I don't mind if... if you want to stay..." Artemis said, voice equally shaky.

Holly turned around to look at him. Shakyness gone. "Really?"

"Sure." Artemis turned to smile shyly. "There isn't anyone I'd rather wake up facing."

Holly returned the smile. "Then I'll stay. But not because of you, Mud Boy. The air out there is freezing, and your bed is warm."

Artemis smirked slightly. "Or maybe it's just my charming personality that keeps you here."

Holly rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. You, charming? Sure, and I'm a three-year-old Mud Boy."

"Well, what do you like about me then? What about me is so amazingly attractive that you can't seem to stay away?"

Holly blushed slightly, glaring at Artemis. "Well, you're so good at helping save the world, and I must admit good looking, and... and..." Holly drew a blank.

Artemis smirked. "Annoying as hell?"

"Yeah, that too."

"And yet you still opted to spend a whole week with me, out of your own free will. I wonder why...?" He pretended to think about it. "Maybeee... you like me?"

"What?!" Holly blinked, blushing furiously. "You're only fifteen!"

"Eighteen." Artemis corrected. "Legally, I'm eighteen."

"Since when do you follow the law."

"True." Artemis mused.

Holly was just glad that the subject had apparently moved on from his accusations. "Technically, you are only fifteen. Still a little Mud-Boy with a snotty nose and scabby knees." She giggled, picturing Artemis as a toddler with scraped knees and snot running from his nose.

"WHAT?!?" Artemis exclaimed. "I assure you, I was never snot nosed as a child. A fowl must uphold his dignity at all times."

"Even during nappy change? Yes, I'm sure you had your head held high as you had your nappy and Armani baby suit changed. A smelly little baby in designer suits already, reading while still in nappies. How adorable."

"None of that is true, except for the reading in nappies part. I always wore pullups as a child; far less fuss, and I could change them by the time I was a year old.

Holly smirked, her eyes glinting wickedly. "And I assume you could also dismantle a hard drive by then?"

"Naturally. And I knew over 100 digits of pi, and my ABCs in three different languages." He said sarcastically. "Of course not, but I could speak fluently, and read at an 8th grade level." ((A/N: I assume that's good - no grades here. I have no idea how it works in the rest of the world.))

"Of course." She sighed. "How could I forget. Wonder kid doesn't know everything."

"If I had, then I would have found you a long time ago."

"Really. Or maybe you wouldn't have been so heartless as to kidnap an innocent powerless fairy girl."

"I mightn't have." Artemis conceeded. "But do you really think it was so bad?"

"No, I have to admit, you've definitely proven yourself an asset to the People."

"That's good. Always nice to know you're wanted."

Holly smiled. Artemis smiled back. And they both fell asleep, becoming entangled in each other's arms before long.

000

A few hours later, Holly was dreaming, although Artemis wasn't having dreams, for some reason.

((WARNING: This dream is pretty dang raunchy. I'd suggest averting your eyes if you are young/innocent/easily offended. Although I don't officially write any sex, it's pretty damn obvious.))

"Oh YES!" I cried, falling back onto the bed, panting and sweating. Artemis was lying beside me in a similar exhausted state, both of us stark naked.

"Wow." He breathed softly, hair plastered to his face in a way I couldn't help but find adorable.

"Wow." I agreed, running my hand through my hair. "That was..."

"Wow."

"Yeah, it was pretty wow." I smiled softly to my lover, rolling over to face him.

He turned to face me. "So, sweetheart, how does it feel to be Holly Fowl?"

"Wonderful." I breathed. "And it's Holly Short-Fowl, I'm not going to drop the noble name of Short." I smiled, tweaking his nose. He responded by playfully biting my finger, then licking it all over.

Squirming slightly, I wondered how he could make such a simple and random thing so unbelievably sensual. After he was done licking, kissing, and nibbling my finger, he trailed kisses up my arm, and towards my face. How lips connected with mine, and I awoke to hear birds chirping, and see sunlight streaming through Artemis' window.

A/N: I am so awesome. I wrote a whole mini-chapter with no point except to be fluffy and adorable. PH34R my awesome. And now one of my friends is asking if I was crying because of "Dylan" and I want to know who this Dylan is. So byebye.

MY 100th REVIEWER WILL GET A ONESHOT WRITTEN ESPECIALLY FOR THEM, ABOUT WHATEVER THEY WANT (provided I know the fandom reasonably well), WITH WHATEVER PAIRING THEY WANT (even if I hate it) SO REVIEW! THIS OFFER STANDS UNTIL I GET A REVIEW #100. EVEN IF IT'S NOT UNTIL CHAPTER 772560871785. If there are that many. ;)

(No, I'm not bribing you. I've never had so many reviews for one story before, and I really wanna say thank you to at least one person. I love you all. :blows kisses to her reviewers:)