(A/N): Chapter 5!! I'm sorry that it has been taking a while to update on this one! It's the final chapter..
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.
Italicized words are songs
Bold, italicized words are thoughts.
Chapter 5:
"I did you so wrong, Yuki. I was too caught up in myself that I completely blacked you out and didn't even care to think about how I made you feel after that fight..." Shuichi sobbed.
He didn't feel any better. If it was possible he felt worse.
Yuki, you'll never forgive me...I know you won't...I'm so sorry!
Yuki didn't know what to say. He sat and stared at his lover, his mouth slightly hanging open, his eyes wide with shock. In his head Shuichi's confession was raging.
He tried to forget me...tried to black me out...all because of that stupid fight we had. Shuichi...
"I ruined everything... I shouldn't be here right now. I shouldn't be sitting here beside you. I knew that this would hurt you. I knew I had to die, because I couldn't escape hurting you."
"And you think that dying would make me feel any better?!" Yuki yelled. Shuichi looked up at him in suprise, tears still leaking from his eyes. Yuki grabbed Shuichi and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Shuichi, when I told you at the hospital that I didn't care about what you did I meant it. Stop blaming yourself for all of this. It's my fault that the fight started in the first place. I am the one to blame. If anything, I am the one who should be in your position."
Shuichi clutched the front of Yuki's shirt, new sobs escaping his lips. "No, Yuki.."
"I'm sorry for putting so much hurt on you, Shu." Yuki whispered in his lover's ear. "That fight was ridiculous. All you wanted was for me to listen to you, and I was selfish...I didn't mean anything I said, though, Shu. Not a word. I never wanted you to leave. Before that fight I had been thinking about us. And, I wanted to let you know that I never want you to leave..I don't know why, but I couldn't come out and say it. So, I thought that writing it down was the next best thing to do. I stuck that slip of paper in your pocket when you weren't paying attention. I don't know why I am such a jerk to you, Shuichi. But, I swear, I never wanted you to leave."
"Yuki..."
"I really thought I had lost you, Shu. I felt horrible. I really never want to be put through that again. I killed a man before, and I felt like I had killed you, too. I am the one who should be sorry."
Yuki looked into Shuichi's sad and regretful eyes. He wiped his lovers tears away with his thumb and kissed his forehead.
"That doctor was scary, Yuki." Shuichi whispered, still staring into Yuki's eyes. "What he made me do..it was sick, frightening... When I was in the hospital..after I woke up I saw him there and almost panicked. At first I thought I was in hell, but then I saw the room around me and I knew better...I knew that I was alive, and he was the last person I wanted to see. He kept getting close to me, telling me things I didn't want to hear, like 'Yuki-san is here..he's going to hate you when he finds out what happened'. I tried to push him away but he kept coming, and I was just too weak and scared..."
"Shuichi..did he rape you again while you were in there?"
Shuichi sobbed and nodded. Yuki felt anger burn in his chest.
"That sick..." Yuki growled.
Shuichi looked down at his lap. "He threatened me, too. He said that if I said a word about it to you he would personally come to make sure I was taken care of.."
Yuki again grabbed Shuichi in a tight embrace. "He won't lay a finger on you, I promise."
I will see to it that this doctor gets what he deserves.
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Shuichi walked into N-G Studios only to be glomped by a certain red-headed guitarist. Hiro gathered Shuichi in his arms, holding him so tight Shuichi's breath constricted.
"Shuichi, I just got the news! You idiot! Why in the world would you do something like that?!"
"Hiro...I'd rather not talk about it right now..."
Hiro let his best friend go from his death grip and stared him hard in the eye. Although Yuki had made it perfectly clear that he wasn't angry, Shuichi still felt like horrible. He felt dirty and used. Hiro could see the pain written on Shuichi's face.
"Was it something Eiri-san did?" Hiro asked. "Because if it was, Shuichi, I swear I'll..."
"No, Hiro, Yuki didn't cause it." Shuichi answered. He sighed at looked at the floor.
"Then what happened? Was it that bad that you won't tell me, your best friend, what happened?!"
Shuichi looked at Hiro. He could tell that his best friend was worried and scared. He sighed.
"It's complicated. And it's a long story."
"I'll make time."
Shuichi took Hiro's arm and led them into an empty conference room where he told him the whole story. Hiro's eyes widened as Shuichi got deeper into the story.
"That sadist bastard!"
Shuichi looked down at his feet. Why was it that the more he told the story, the lower he felt?
"Shuichi, don't you dare blame yourself! You were afraid and you just wanted to forget..No one will blame you for wanted to get away from those feelings. It's that bastard of a doctor that needs to be punished. He intimidated you, used your weakness against you, and that is unforgivable!"
Shuichi looked back up at Hiro.
"You sound just like Yuki. He said the same thing."
"Then if two people say the same thing, then it has to be true." Hiro grabbed Shuichi's shoulders. "Your only mistake was trying to...kill yourself." He said the last part of his sentence in a whisper. He looked down at his feet, his eyes full of hurt. "You really don't understand that many, many people would be crushed if you..."
"Hiro..."
Hiro hugged his best friend. He never appreciated Shuichi as much as he did at this moment.
"Send Eiri-san my regards for saving you in time, Shu." Hiro whispered in Shuichi's ear before parting from him.
Shuichi nodded.
"Hiro, how did you find out about what happened? It's not supposed to spread out to the public.."
"Seguchi called Eiri-san yesterday to ask why you have missed work these last few days without letting him know, and Yuki told him because you were in the hospital because you had a 'mental spasm'. And, knowing Seguchi, I guess he pressed it on until Eiri finally fessed up."
"No, I think Yuki was just venting to him. I do recall him on the phone late last night. He was talking really low so I didn't really understand what was being said, but I do know he sounded sad. Plus, I was too weak and tired to comprehend much. I'm better today, but Yuki wanted me to stay home. He said I was still pale but, I refused to stay home. I have work to do, so I decided to come in. I did just get out of the hospital yesterday..so I know I should be home, but I...I wanted Yuki to have some time alone, to think."
Hiro looked at Shuichi's arms. Shuichi was wearing a long sleeve but he could still see the imprint of the bandages.
"Shu..would you mind if I...looked at your arms?" Hiro asked, slightly afraid to bring it up.
Shuichi blinked at him for a moment before nodding slowly and lifting his arms up, pulling his sleeves down gently. Hiro's breath stopped when Shuichi unwrapped the bandages and revealed his stitched arms. It wasn't just a single slit down the wrist on either arm. It was one that ran from the bottom of his palm to the middle of his arm, and a series of deep cuts scattered around it. Hiro, against himself, ran his fingers gently down the wounds.
"Did it hurt?" he asked.
"At first, but for a short while. After a while I began to feel high, before I passed out. It was a good feeling actually..like everything was leaking out of me, like I was being emptied, so there was nothing left."
Hiro frowned at Shuichi's words. "So, you liked it."
"At that moment I did. Right now, I regret everything."
Hiro gently led Shuichi to a table and sat him down so he could examine his arm more thoroughly.
"What are you going to do about the scars?"
"A nurse at the hospital recommended me to someone who can do laser surgery to take the scars away. They would have glued my wounds but they said they were too deep, so they had no choice but to stitch me up. I go to that laser surgery person next week when I get these stitches out. That way the press doesn't know, and everything can go back to normal."
The emotional scars stay, though...
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Shuichi spent the day at work writing new lyrics. No one pressed him to do anything he didn't willingly want to do. On the contrary, he wanted to sit and write those lyrics. He felt somewhat better pouring his heart out onto the paper. After five hours he was finally finished. He read over his lyrics before handing them to Sakano to read over and pass around the room to the others.
Wake up, wake up, love
I'm right here
Don't close, don't close your eyes on me
Let me gather you into myself
Let's forget about our pasts
Together, together we can heal one another
Make even emotional scars fade
Everything, everything fades with time
Everything except this heart of mine
These cold, desperate pleas for help
Turn to vapor as they escape my lips
And float away forgotten
All because I have you right here with me
I'm sorry, love, I make you hurt so
But when I start to leave you don't let me go
Never, never leave me
You say no, no never leave
But, love, everything everthing fades with time
Everything ,including me
But, for now, let's ignore the future
Together, together we can make it better
Heal, yes heal this broken heart of mine
Baby, everything fades with time
Baby, even this heart of mine
Baby, these cold desperate pleas for help
Baby, turn to vapor as they escape my lips
Baby, they float away forgotten
Baby, all because I have you right here with me
Wake up, wake up, love
Don't you die on me
You don't understand...
You're all I need
Don't you lay there and leave me in the present
A present without you
There is no meaning in life
If I'm not strong enough
I feel a little off, I feel a little wrong
Baby, baby you saved me
You saved me all along
Everything, everything fades with time
Everything except this heart of mine
These cold, desperate pleas for help
Turn to vapor as they escape my lips
Now I have no fear
All because, baby, you are right here
The silence in the room was more than enough pressure on the pink-haired vocalist. He left the room in tears.
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Yuki called the hospital and asked for Doctor Riku Usimaki. The secretary forwarded his call.
"Mushi mushi, Dr. Riku, here."
"You are one sick bastard for manipulating Shuichi like that."
"Ah, Yuki-san, I see that Shuichi confessed to you. I should have known as much. He is weak after all." The doctor sighed, a smile on his lips. "Ah, nevertheless, I have to make him pay. I told him not to tell, and he did anyway. I can't let him get away for defying me."
Yuki, who happened to be standing outside the doctor's door, burst in.
"The only person you will be dealing with is me."
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Yuki left the hospital shortly after, watching as the doctor was escorted to a police car. The two shared glares as the doctor was pushed into the car roughly. Yuki had did quite a number on him. Possible broken rips, broken and bleeding nose, lips bleeding multiple places, two black eyes, and multiple bruises all over his body. It wasn't exactly the amount of damage he had wanted to put on that bastard, but it was enough. At least Yuki made his point. He left without a second thought.
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Shuichi returned to the studio room after some time of sobbing in the bathroom stall. He had to admit that he felt better. He had to get rid of what last burdens he had on himself, and he guessed that he about got them out. When he came back in Sakano was already telling the others that they had already done enough and they all should go home. Shuichi was grateful.
"Great job on the lyrics, Shindo-kun." Sakana said patting him on the back.
"Arigatou."
After saying his goodbyes to Hiro, Suguru, Sakano, and K, Shuichi ran home to his Yuki, and came to find that his lover was in a suprisingly good mood.
"Yuki, tadaima!"
Yuki didn't grunt like he usually did. Instead he greeted Shuichi with a kiss on the forehead.
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my Yuki?" Shuichi said sarcastically, poking Yuki's side.
Yuki just smiled.
"That doctor is taken care of." he said to his pink-haired lover.
"Huh? Taken care of?"
"He won't bother you ever again."
"Ah, YUKI!" Shuichi said snuggling into Yuki's side. "I love you."
Yuki smiled. "I love you too, Shu."
(A/N): Ahh, don't you just LOVE happy endings? haha. Well, since this is the end, I will give you a little thingy that tells you what happens afterwards, you know what I mean?
Shuichi got his stitches out, he got the laser surgery, and now they can forget about what happened. The doctor got sentenced to 10 years without parole in prison. About a month later Bad Luck had a new album out. Their hit from it was the song that Shuichi wrote.
And they lived happily ever after.
Shuichi: Wahh!! Why couldn't you say Yuki and I got happily married and adopted eleven wonderful children and...
Yuki: Shu, shut up before you dig yourself a grave you WON'T get out of.
Shuichi: ..??..
Yuki: Loser walks away
Shuichi: YUKI!! Oh, please review! runs after Yuki