A/N: Anyone who read my most recent oneshot will know that I've been madly depressed lately, and the world is fucked up ect. and I'm really depressed and lots of other emo-sounding shit. Yo. But right now I've been watching Dr. Who all weekend, and the internet won't work and I hate my novel (only 10k ;.;) and everything is shit and my brother won't shut up for TWO FUCKING MINUTES! And so I need fanfiction badly.
Reviewness (The winner of my contest was Yami Marik! Yaaaaaay! Hit me up with what you want!)
xX-Fiona-Xx: Aww :( :hugs:
ckontowderdon32: Yeah, probably. This is NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! WAHAHA
Shannon: I e-mailed you!
RiverWren: Haha, apparently it didn't happen though... Odd.
A Cup Of Earl Grey: NEVERRRR! Sorry, but I just don't like AJ. I only ship AH and a little bit of AB. AJ seems disturbing to me. Haha.
Yami Marik: You were review 100! Please contact me to let me know what you want me to write:D
hollybridgetpeppermint:starts stalking your website looking for a link to the IHMC: Cookies:plays with cookies like a cat:...:breaks cookies: damn, that doesn't work. Ohh, and I did write one! Just check my list of written stories thingehmawhatsit.
Also, love to: Summerset, AgiVega, devoted99, Marik, Bill's Buster, CNNFAN, Hiscefit, BaKura's death, xSimplyxMagicalx, MONKIY, InuSinkes, and .:LEP:.
WARNING: From here on in, this will be a stronger teen, rather than a weaker one. Before you stop reading :eyes hollybridgetpeppermint: I'll keep it as clean as I can, but shit (also, forgive my language. I'm fucking tired of being all nicey nicey and not swearing.) gets a lot worse from here on out. I'll tell you when you can close your eyes.
When Artemis Lost His Brain - Building Up and Crashing Down (Yay! Extralong chapter! Woooo!)
Part one - Building Up (The very beginning of Building Up is a bit dodge... implied wet dream ; and yeah, my continuity sucks, but let's just say that Holly fell back asleep after the end of last chapter, because it was too early.)
Artemis opened his eyes to the most lovely sight in his eyes; Holly Short was moaning and whimpering something quietly in her sleep, her face a mix of pleasure and desperation.
"Please Artemis... I need itttt..." She mumbled, before a longer moan. Artemis, though blushing furiously, saw no need to wake her from her... pleasant dream. Instead, without thinking, his arms tightened around her and she nuzzled against him. Artemis Fowl, the now-normal teen boy had to supress a strangled moan when a part of the once elf brushed up against a more sensitive part of his anatomy.
"Holly! What?" He gasped, trying to scoot away, but Holly pulled him closer. Artemis was bright red; he didn't want to become involved with one of her wet dreams.
"Aaaartemis." She sighed happily. Artemis shook her shoulder awkwardly. He didn't want things to be even worse with their frayed friendship, not to mention that he was getting more aroused by the second.
Luckily for him, Holly's eyes flickered open, though she didn't seem to register that she wasn't dreaming. "Mmmm Artemis." She smiled seductively, looping her arms around his neck. "You're so talented for a little boy."
Artemis, driven by hormones rather than brains, was tempted to play along for a second, but then the reasonable side of him pushed Holly away coldly. "I don't know what you're talking about, Captain Short, but please keep me out of your lewd fantasies."
Holly blushed, sitting upright in a hurry. "Oh gods Artemis, I'm so sorry! I was just dreaming, and then... Uh..." She blushed.
Artemis eyed her. Nothing needed to be said.
The one time they needed Butler to break the awkwardness he appeared to have decided to leave them to it.
"So... uh... 'm I still nice to wake up to?" Holly smiled sheepishly, straightening her hair somewhat nervously.
Artemis was equally nervous, sitting up to match her, looking pointedly away. "Uh... yeah... But could you maybe cover up?"
Holly blinked, looking down. Her pyjamas were too large for her (she had borrowed them from Artemis) and had come partly undone in the night, almost completely exposing one breast.
Flushing as red as Root, Holly buttoned them back up, then pulled Artemis around to face her again, the look of a minx on her face. "Now tell me you didn't look."
"I... uh... Holly..." Artemis was almost as red as she was, and Holly smirked, work done.
She tickled his neck playfully. "C'mon, time for breakfast. We can't both be late again. It'll look suspicious."
"Holly... actually... I asked Butler to pack a picnic for us. It's too crowded here, and it'll be nice to get away for awhile."
"I guess." Holly smiled shyly. "Are we being escorted?"
"No, I think Butler trusts us to behave. Either that or he got the impression that we were living out your dreams." He said snidely, but there was a smile on his face, and Holly smiled back.
"Clearly he doesn't know me well enough. Never kiss on the first date."
"But wouldn't that have been three years ago?"
"Hmm, true." Holly nodded, mismatched eyes twinkling.
An impulsive part of Artemis that he had never known before took over. "So do I get a kiss or what?"
Holly eyed him like he were crazy, but decided to play along. "Maybe later..." She smiled impishly, slipping out of the bed. "Right now I'm going to get dressed. In something that doesn't smell like boy's deodorant." And with that eloquent remark, Holly left.
000
"Are you two ready?" Butler smiled. Holly looked lovely in a green form-fitting summer dress with faded flowers all over it. It had been Angeline's when she was younger, and now she had insister that Holly keep it, since it suited her so beautifully.
"I'm ready if you are." Holly smiled to Artemis, extending an arm, which he linked with his. Butler smiled sadly, thinking that they made such a perfect couple.
"Ready as ever." Artemis smiled.
Butler handed them the picnic basket, and smiled. "Just ring me when you want to be picked up, Artemis. I'll be waiting. Don't stay out too late, I'll come looking if you haven't called by noon."
"Sure Butler, we'll be good." Artemis smiled. "Trust me, we'll be fine.
And so Butler drove off, leaving Artemis and Holly in a beautiful little picnic grove, with nothing but each other and a basket full of food for the entire morning.
Holly blushed slightly... this was bizarrely more awkward than waking up from a wet dream beside him. "So uh... wanna eat now or do something else?"
"Um... eating sounds good, I guess." Artemis nodded, taking a look in the basket.
Holly grabbed herself an apple, tossing it up in the air and catching it. "I can't believe how sweet the air is up here." She remarked. "Even though our air in Haven is completely cleared from all toxins and pollutants, it just tastes bland, whereas your smoke-filled surface air is the sweetest I've ever tasted."
"It's nature. The plants and sunlight add their own elements to the air."
"I guess so." Holly mused. At least the ice was somewhat broken.
"So uh..." Artemis felt the hormones coming on again. Holly really did look lovely in that dress. "This morning..." He trailed off, leaving only a few doubts in Holly's mind as to what he meant. But she decided to check.
"This morning?"
"You uh... said something about kissing." Artemis was deep scarlet.
Holly, who had no idea what had gotten her into this mood, smirked seductively. "That's right. And I believe this would count as a second date, if the picnic two days ago was a first..." She eyed him, plainly waiting for Artemis to make the next move. His face was bright red, and Holly decided to add a pout. "Or don't you like me?"
"No! No... I just... um... well..."
"I know how you feel Artemis." Holly dropped the act, touching his face softly. "Because I feel it too." She said in little more than a whisper, slowly pulling her face to his.
Lips finally met in a kiss that was totally innocent and sweet, and only lasted a second. Artemis couldn't help noticing how soft and firm Holly's lips were. She smiled at him innocently, and he felt that he could drown in that smile; sweet and innocent, yet indulgent, saying 'come get it!'
Unable to help themselves, they kissed again, deeper and more passionate this time. Artemis ran his hands gently over Holly's back, feeling the contours of her body, memorising every dip and every curve.
This was about the moment that things started to go wrong.
Part two - Crashing Down
Holly and Artemis pulled apart, surveying each other's faces, suddenly at a loss for what should happen next. Holly opened her mouth to say something, but instead a lone blue spark travelled out of it lazily. Artemis blinked, and would have said something, but the next moment he felt like his head had been split in half, and passed out.
"Artemis?" Holly asked, shaking him. It was right about then that her body exploded in blue sparks; they were coursing out of the ground into her every pore. Mouth open in a silent scream, Holly began to change. She was shrinking, though not as much as before... and... her ears weren't changing... what was going on? Before she could even start to think about it though, Holly passed out.
000
Artemis was dreaming again, it was as though the dreams had just been waiting for this.
I was standing in a small bleak room, she was in front of me. She was different, not quite human, not quite elf, but somewhere in between.
"Thank you for freeing me. You are a true hero." She beamed up at me, eyes brimming with gratitude and honesty and... love?
"And in return, I have returned what is rightfully yours." She continued.
"Thank you, I guess." I replied, surveying her carefully. What was rightfully mine?
She laughed lightly. "You have no need to guess anymore. What is 397x128?"
"50816." I answered without thinking, then... "Hey! I'm intelligent again!"
"Yes." She smiled joyfully. "But I have to warn you; with this new title comes great burden. There are those who would do you harm."
"New title?"
"Why, the first inter-species couple, of course!" She smiled, and this time the dream ended without a kiss.
"Holly!" Artemis gasped, suddenly returning to conciousness.
000
Holly, too, was having a dream, but it was somewhat different. ((Holly has a dirty mind. Be warned. BE WARNED!))
He was straddling me ever so gently, pinning my hands above my head with one hand, and gently massaging my shoulder with the other. As boring as that may sound, for some reason he managed to make it unbelievably erotic.
"Holly..." He whispered.
"Yes?"
"Thank you so much. You gave it back to me."
"I did?" I blinked, eying him curiously.
"You did. And in return, I gave something to you."
"What?"
"This." He said, trailing gentle kisses down my chest, leaving little blue tingles behind.
Holly woke up when she heard her name called, sitting up groggily. "Wha?"
"Huh?" Artemis blinked, asessing the situation. "Are you okay Holly?" He eyed her. She seemed shorter, and her ears were pointier, though she still looked slightly human.
"I think so." She ran her hands over her ears. "What happened?"
"'Sealed feelings with a kiss...'" He murmered. "That's it!"
"What is?"
"The prophecy of MMVII! It was about us!"
"Huh?"
"We were both losing something, but somehow it came back!" He laughed. "That's it! Beginning of a new era... interspecies cooperation!"
"What are you talking about Artemis?"
"Look at this." He took one of his copies of the fairy book out of his pocket, opening it to the part about MMVII. "See? It's us!"
"Oh yeah!" Holly blinked. "Now I remember! It was said that uh..." She blushed. "MMVII was about a fairy who would fall in love with a mud man..." Blushing from both sides now. "And they would both lose their powers, but when they admitted their feelings and kissed, a new world of cooperation would be born."
"So it's complete?"
"Not yet... uh... We have to actually say... you know..."
"Okay." Artemis nodded. "Holly I... well... During our recent adventures together and even more so your stay here, I have developed feelings of a romantic nature towards you."
Holly rolled her eyes. "Glad to see this hasn't made you mushy in any way."
"Your turn then." Artemis eyed her.
"Okay, Artemis I... LOOK OUT!" Holly yelled, grabbing the front of Artemis' shirt and dragging him to the ground, just in time to avoid... the swipe of a troll?
"What the hell is that doing here?" Holly swore, dragging Artemis away towards the forest.
"I have no idea, but we have to get away!" Artemis exclaimed, beginning his clumsy run.
Holly rolled her eyes. "D'Arvit, Artemis, it'd almost be faster if I carried you!" They had reached the forest now, and Holly was practically dragging Artemis by his hand. They kept to the edge of the forest, the troll not far behind, in the desperate hope of finding help.
000
A 14 year old girl on holiday in Ireland was taking a stroll in the forest, enjoying the tranquility that was the Irish green, when two people looking not much older than her dashed past and knocked her into a bush, followed by a huge, lumbering smelly... thing that appeared to have it's heart set on eating the other two. As they ran away somewhat slowly, she heard the girl yelling: "Hurry, Artemis!"
"Holy shit!" She exclaimed. "The books were real!"
But, before she had time to run and tell the world, there was a strange smell, and she passed out.
000
A/N: Dun Dun DUNNNNNNN! Don't worry, this new person is not going to be mary-sue who saves the day/steals Artemis' heart/is a damsel in distress, she's just someone who happened to be there. She won't play a major part. I was inspired by something someonecoughFionacough said at scouts.
PLEASE REVIEW! XD