HIIIIIIIIIIII! My homeschool exam is in 4 days as I type this! I should be studying. Totally. Oh well. EVER ONWARDS AND UPWARDS AND UP ARTEMIS' AR... no wait.

So yeah, right now I'm high on Tic-Tacs, and last night I had a really weird dream where I was at the pool with someone from my dance class and a fat chick in a fluro pink wetsuit divebombed me and then I was at Brendan's (yes, that Brendan Fiona.) house only he lived in a tree and there was that guy who looks like Steven only hotter (from this story) and he was writing a story about motorcycles and I thought it was adorable and then Brendan and I played computer games and I went to my dad's house but there was a bomb so I hid in a toilet with Holly (Short) and a dog bit her leg and she died so I replaced her, and they were making this fanfic into a movie, but they did it all wrong and Foaly wasn't a centaur and he had a briefcase full of chips and then Brendan (once again, that Brendan.) tied a rope around my waist and threw me off the boat (suddenly we were in a cutter) and I was picked up and nailed to a cross and Artemis rescued me.

So right now I'm hyper. TIME TO WRITE!

(you can only fear what this will do to my story...)

Reviews:

Yami Marik: It's going slowly, 'cause I'm low on smutty inspiration (Love life troubles... eek.)

Michelle: Thanks! That... kinda makes sense. That'd mean that our equivilant of 3rd grade is 3rd-4th form.

And a yummy yummy Tic-Tac of thanks to crazygirliecaptain, ckontowderdon32, xSimplyxMagicalx, Annie-Morphs, and Riverwren

And SPECIAL THANKYOU HUGS to RiverWren and Annie-Morphs for pointing out a mistake I made in chapter 8. I forgot to garble Holly's speech in one line. I'll fix this as soon as I have time :)

When Artemis Lost His Brain - Hyper Tomos Should Be Kept Well Away From Word Processors.

Holly sighed around her gag. Artemis was sitting crosslegged, massaging his temples. Fiona wasn't even moving, but appeared to be daydreaming about the guard.

Finally, Artemis moved. "That's it. There's no other way out."

Holly blinked. "Wah ih i?"

"...Fiona person, would you have any qualms about seducing that guard?"

Fiona blinked, then her face spread into a wide evil grin, and she started making a sort of high-pitched squeee sound. Artemis began to regret his plan.

"Holly, you and I will sneak out, while Fiona is..." He blushed.

"Workin' my magic." Fiona laughed.

"Ahh... yes. Once we have escaped, you follow us."

"That's it? Nothing else devilishly clever and tricky in that huge brain of yours?" Fiona rapped on Artemis' head fondly.

Artemis frowned, glaring at her. "No." But, of course, there was.

000

That evening, the guard came back in, somehow balancing three trays of food. Fiona got right to work, brushing right up to him as she took her plate.

"Hi." She purred. "I'm Fiona. Who're you?"

He didn't speak, putting the food down and walking stiffly out of the room. He didn't lock the door though, and Fiona took this as an invitation. She nudged open the door, slipping through it sneakily, and almost walked straight into the boy.

"I'm Lucide." He smirked, and mashed her mouth to his. ((Fiona... I forgot what name you specified in our little planning session, but I think that was close enough.))

Fiona returned his kiss eagerly, pushing Lucide up against the wall, hands exploring every inch of his body. In return, his hands roamed around her, feeling all over her breasts, before coming to rest on her perfect backside. ((I can't resist... your arse is totally better than Sarah's.)) Fiona opened one eye to see Holly and Artemis sneaking off. Quickly, she grabbed Lucide's hand and dragged him after her.

"Come on, you have to admit that you hate it here." She whispered. Lucide nodded fervently. Fiona smiled, and planted a big, smacking kiss on his cheek.

000

The two couples tore down the corridors, Lucide leading them towards the closest exit. He froze, though, when he rounded the final corner, and came face to face with Madame Garnet and Foaly.

"Well well. I expected that we would have to deal with some escape attempts, though I didn't expect you to be helping them, Lucide."

Lucide cringed, and hid behind Fiona. Holly looked at Foaly, pure hatred in her eyes.

"I thought we were friends!" She cried.

"I thought you would never fall for that mud boy!" Foaly yelled back.

"So did I!" Artemis was trying to get Holly's attention, but she ignored him. "I thought he was just a stupid Mud Boy, but that was before I knew him! And now I know him, and I love him, and I don't ever want to let that g-" Holly was cut off by Artemis kissing her fiercely, and Garnet screaming. The metal gag lay abandoned on the floor, and Lucide smirked, spinning the keys around his finger.

A burst of purest white light erupted from the point where their lips were touching, bathing the entire planet in pure love. Across the globe and under it, fighting couples made up, people realised that they were sitting right next to their true love, and families were brought together. Poachers hugged animals, worldwide peace was declared, and the fairies were discovered.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Garnet yelled, tackling Holly and knocking them both to the ground. Artemis hit his head, and fell unconcious, while Garnet bashed Holly's head on the floor again and again.

"Ow! D'Arvit you, bitch!" Holly grabbed Garnet's hair and pulled, as though trying to rip her head off.

The two continued to catfight on the floor, until a large roar erupted from the exit door.

Domovoi Butler was in the house.

A/N: I seem to be tending towards shorter chapters, because I have less and less time to write and more and more stuff to do. Regrettably.

OMG REVIEW OR I'LL MAKE FOALY GET SITTED ON BY DOMOVOI!