A/N: Well! It's been a great ride, but I'm afraid all good things have to come to an end. And so does this story. There WILL be a sequel, if my plot bunnies continue to multiply. And yes, it will contain random nudity, freaky dreams, and much much more! And of course, I'm planning an epilogue as I type this. Which is about five minutes after I posted the last chapter. I am on SUCH a roll. After this, I tackle Sevvie Reloaded. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :more random undulation:
REVIEWS (okay, so I don't have any yet, but they'll go here when I get them.)
Michelle: Thanks for reading!
Sinkes: Modesty is for the ugly ;)
When Artemis Lost His Brain - Closure... of sorts.
Chix Verbil, egotistical sprite extraodinare, was having a good day. A great day, as it happened. Nothing much had happened, and Lili Frond had been flirting with him all morning via vidphone.
Abruptly, his afternoon and evening started to look a lot grimmer.
The doors to his surveillance room banged open and Holly Short walked in, looking ready to kill. She was followed by Artemis Fowl the second, whose hair was all screwed up, and Butler, who deposited two unconcious bodies on the floor.
"Chix." Holly said. "Deposit these two in a cell, and tell the boss I'm taking a hundred years or so off." She smiled at Fowl - at FOWL! Chix was unable to get his jaw off the floor. He was so much better looking than that stupid little Fowl boy, and he had even offered himself to Holly more than once. He accidentally hung up on Lili.
"Chix. Are you just going to stand there gaping? Get moving, man!" Holly barked. Chix picked himself up, and got on the blower to headquarters. It turned out that Garnet had been on the wanted list for a long time, and Foaly had been ever since he joined her side. Holly was awarded merits for capturing them, and Section 8 happily let her go. (Following the demons return to earth, it had become simply an elite crimefighting unit, spearheaded by Commander Vinyåya, and Major Holly Short. (She had been promoted with honours.) now, however, Vinyåya would have to run things alone. Holly had no doubt whatsoever in her abilities.
000
"That's that then." Holly breathed. Several hours and interrogations later, she, Artemis, and Butler were being allowed to leave. This was a good thing, since they had left Fiona and Lucide alone in the car, and God only knew what they were getting up to.
Luckily for them, nothing too bad was happening; although Fiona -did- look oddly sated, and Lucide was looking somewhat dazed. Artemis and Holly sat together in the front, and avoided the back seat, and it was never mentioned again.
"So can I go home now?" Fiona asked. "My friend and I came here together. I have to get back to her now, so we can go home."
"Where do you live?" Lucide asked anxiously. "I've got nowhere to go."
"Well... it's hard to explain. I know where Tomo's gonna be though." Fiona grinned, and gave Butler directions to a little field.
In the middle of the field was a girl sitting there impatiently, drumming her fingers on some sort of weird devide, that said 'Fan-O-Matic 2007' on the side. When the girl spotted Fiona, she jumped up, waving. The girls raced towards each other and hugged at high speed. Artemis wondered how they managed to do that without breaking bones.
"Fifi!" The new girl exclaimed. "Are you ready to go?"
"Sure thing Tomo." Fiona replied, and it was now revealed that this newcomer was, in fact, the author in disguise. Not that she was actually wearing a disguise, or any of the characters knew she was the author, but anyway.
"I didn't find them anywhere. I guess we didn't get the Artemis Fowl universe after a-" She froze, catching sight of the main characters getting out of the funny-smelling car. Tomo grabbed Fiona, and whispered in her ear furiously. "Is that...?"
"Yep."
"Did you get 'em together?"
"No sweat."
"Whose that guy? He's hot in a totally unStevenish way!"
"He's Lucide. Another one of my bitches. Can he come too?"
"Sure. But next bitch is mine."
"Alright." Fiona grinned, ruffling Tomo's hair, and screwing it up even more.
Tomo picked up the Fan-O-Matic 2007. "All aboard, now departing for Hogwarts."
"After that, can we visit Stargate SG1? I want to see Jack!"
Tomo sighed. "Fine. But while you're there, I'm gonna go get a Jack of my own... a certain pirate."
Fiona gasped. "You wouldn't!" Tomo just grinned.
Fiona guided Lucide's hand onto the Fan-O-Matic. Tomo detatched for a second, and raced over to Artemis.
"Damn, you really are hot. I'd envy Holly if I wasn't a shipper." She kissed him on the cheek, before returning to the contraption, and they were gone.
"What... the HELL was that?" Holly said.
"No idea." Artemis stated, touching his cheek and staring at where Tomo had disappeared from. And then Holly punched him, slightly harder than was nessecary.
"Don't tell me you're gonna go all wishy-washy over her, now." There was a note of bitterness in her voice.
"Don't worry, Holly. You're the only one for me."
"Aww." Holly smiled, hugging him. And then they all went back to the manor, and lived happily ever after.
000
Tomo, Lucide and Fiona, however, hurtled through the space-time continuum, just like Dr. Who without the TARDIS. Or the gorgeous doctor. Or Rose.
They passed through thousands of alternate universes, some more vivid than others.
They saw Michelle, happily at Hogwarts, and watching Ron and Hermione make out. They saw Sinkes' blonde hair making her slinky black catsuit useless, as she spied on Holly and Artemis from another universe, filming them for her fanfiction. They saw thousands and thousands of fanficcers, each hovering around their own fandom, until finally they arrived upon a blank Hogwarts.
"Okay." Tomo grinned, rubbing her hands together. "Let's make some mayhem."
A/N: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I FINISHED IT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
BUT DON'T WORRY! THE EPILOGUE IS COMING! AND THE SEQUEL! BREED, DAMN YOU PLOT BUNNIES!
(and yes, this was posted approximatley 1 hour after the last chapter. I'm just on a writing high. And be honest, are you mad at me? Like, at all? Didn't think so.