A/N: Hello! I'm back, and I come bearing epilogue! Apologies to people who posted their i-want-to-be-a-character thingies after chapter 12 was posted, but before it was visible... I'll put you all in there soon. Promise

Reviewness!

Annie-Morphs: You officially win the trphy for best reviewer ever... your reviews made me want to write this even when I feel like shit and have a big pimple on my nose :)

Sinkes: OOPS! Damnit, I'm crappy at guessing genders... I should have noticed when you said your name! I'm so sorry... I'll fix that asap. I feel bad now...

Xx Artemis Rox mi Sox xX: That's an AWESOME idea... actually somewhat similar to what I had been planning o.O Chances are, I'll steal that idea (but give you credit) and twist it a bit to make it fit into what I was thinking. WAAHAHHAHAHA YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME!! MORTAL BEINGS FLEEEEE... FLEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

MyLadyMicheline: Yay! Having your own account is fun!

hollybridgetpeppermint: Haha... you can be in this chapter just for fun. Thankies for reviewing!

TeeHee: A cameo means you get to appear for just a second. And I'll put you in there too!

And hugs tooo Scarfia, xSimplyxMagicalx, tigster5, BobMcBobinton, ckontowderdon32, and MONKIY.

When Artemis Lost His Brain - Epilogue

Holly Short rolled over in bed, content and at peace with the world. "Morning Artemis." She said sleepily, locking eyes with the boy lying next to her.

Artemis smiled back. "Good morning, Holly." He kissed her lightly on the lips, an innocent good-morning kiss. "Did you sleep well? No more erotic dreams of me?" He raised an eyebrow.

Holly hit him with a pillow. "No! Not like I need those now anyway..."

"You say that as if we've actually done anything."

She hit him with the pillow again. "I told you, I'm waiting until you're actually eighteen." Holly then proceeded to batter her boyfriend with a pillow until he begged for mercy.

"Mercy! Mercy! I give up!" Artemis giggled, and they both climbed out of bed, yawning and stretching.

"So... uh... I have to go get dressed now." Holly blushed. Artemis nodded. This was the most awkward part of their morning ritual - the one they would never get used to.

"Uh... yeah..." Artemis blushed. There was a moment of silent awkwardness, and then Holly grabbed some clothes, and slipped into the bathroom, beet red. Artemis sighed, and quickly changed into his clothes.

000

"So Holly? There's just one thing I don't understand." It was breakfast. Holly and Artemis had spent a week talking about things and sorting everything out, and were starting to relax into the blissful life that is coupledom.

"What is it, Artemis?" Holly asked, looking up from her porridge.

"What was with the big flash of light?"

"Huh?" Holly was confused for a moment, then it hit her. "Oh! That was our magical auras clashing with the enchantment of the spell. Nothing to worry about, basically the prophecy borrowed a bit of our magic to fulfil itself, then returned whatever was left over."

"Ah." Artemis nodded, returning to eating. Sadly to say, once they had finished talking about the events of the past few days, things became rather dull very fast. Sure they were both active people (Although Artemis was active mentally rather than physically) they spent most of their time curled up on a couch or reading books, or generally wondering what to do. Both of them had thought that being a couple meant doing new, exciting things, and enjoying each other's company, but far too fast they had slipped into the only too welcoming trap that is being too used to each other. Holly was even beginning to think that things had been more fun when they were 'courting' as it were; at least they had flirted and laughed then, now everything seemed almost clinical. Of course, she would never mention any of this to Artemis. Besides, she knew he was thinking the same thing.

"Holly?" Artemis said, interrupting Holly's thoughts. "I was thinking..."

"Big surprise." She rolled her eyes, smirking at him.

Artemis laughed. "Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to do things differently today. Instead of sitting around the house, let's go... do something."

"Sure." She smiled. "I'd like that. It'd be a nice change in pace."

000

And so, they got Butler to drive them to a paddock filled with wheat up to Holly's eyes. (and Artemis' shoulders.) They had a picnic, and spent hours just rolling in the grass laughing. Now this was more like it.

000

"Fiona! You idiot! Why the hell did you do that?" Tomo cried exasperatedly, running madly towards the Fan-O-Matic. "You could have gotten us killed!"

Fiona laughed back in return. "Totally worth it. Draco Malfoy's boxer shorts... Hell YES!" She laughed madly.

"Yeah yeah, but did you have to take Harry's too? And Ron's? I know you own half of Ron (mmm, threesome), but Harry is totally mine!"

"What about me?" Lucide moaned. "I thought you liked me!"

"Oh she does, don't worry. She's just Fiona." Tomo replied offhandedly. If there is such a word. Which spellcheck says there is.

Fiona nodded. "I love you all!" She squealed and, forgetting that they were running for their lives, from wizards shooting spells at them, she tackled Lucide and Tomo in a hug. They tumbled over and over, crashing into a wall. Lucide started to bleed from the head.

"Oh my god! I killed him!" Fiona covered her mouth with her hands, looking horrified. Tomo just stared blankly at Fiona. And then at a point behind her shoulder.

It seemed that three angry wizards, and a furiously jealous Hermione, had caught up to them.

A/N: Arbleebleblebl That's all folks! Sequel coming SOOON! :Dan DAN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAN:

Update, 18/8/08

It has been well over a year and a half since I started WALHB. To date, it's my most read story, and I thank my fans for that.

But... to be honest... I really don't like it XD

So, with the release of Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox, I figured it was finally time to put this story to rest. Here are some of my most frequently asked questions regarding this fic;

WHERE IS THE SEQUEL?

I deleted it. It was bad. With capital letters.

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET AROUND TO REWRITING WALHB AND THE SEQUEL?

At this rate, never. All round, I dislike the story, and even though a large part of that is due to how badly it was written, it still annoys me. Not to mention that now the plot would take a lot of reworking to fit with Time Paradox canon, and technically the main plot point is now null and void. Yes it could be rewritten as an AU fic. No, this is not likely to happen, unless I get really bored one day.

IF YOU HATE IT SO MUCH, WHY NOT DELETE IT?

A lot of people read and reviewed this fic, and even now, I get the occasional 'added to favourites' email. I don't want it to just be gone one day, I guarantee I'd get angry letters lol. Besides, it's incentive to actually get off my arse and rewrite it after all.

Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, this story was some of the most fun I've ever had writing fanfiction, my reviewers are all beautiful, wonderful, funny people, and I'm really grateful to them for making this story so much fun to write at the time, even if I'll probably never pick it up again.

xox, Tomo.