Addiction

Chapter 6

By Catrina

A/N: Here we go with chapter 6, the past couple chapters have strayed a little from the original plot; this in a way will partially put it back on course. As always let me know what you think.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.

00-00-00-00

Yuki's Friday was a blur. Since the incident in the bathroom, nothing bothered him at any point during the day. The stalking girls, the praising guys, his worshiping fan club, nothing seemed to irritate him today. Maybe that was what happened when you had something like that happen to you in the morning. Even though he had stayed in the bathroom as long as he could he knew that when he went to class, he was feeling way to mellow. He wasn't one to complain though. After school the afternoon and evening passed quickly as well. For a couple hours he had worked in his garden weeding and getting ready for winter. Most everything was out of the garden but it was still important that it had what it needed to be fertile next spring. Then dinner passed quickly, Shigure asking about their day and he and Kyo bickering over something or another, though he really couldn't remember. Half of the bickering these days was pretense the other half was foreplay. But right now he was completely lost in thought.

Kyo gazed through his lowered lashes at Yuki as the other boy stared off into space. And for a moment he wondered if they weren't acting a little like love struck teenagers. He hoped not, because he knew what depended on it.

"Yuki!" Shigure's voice rang through the house. Kyo watched as Yuki shook his head, clearing his thoughts and stood gracefully walking over to Shigure's office. Unlike Shigure and Kyo, Yuki was too proper to yell through the house. He watched the conversation with rapt interest but still only peeking through his dark long lashes. When he saw Yuki pale he stood and slowly walked over to him, he caught the tale end of the conversation.

"I'll go and see him like I do every month, that's all." Yuki told the dog softly, but indeed angry.

"I know, I just told him that I would pass the message along."

"It's enough that I go once a month, that's more the other members of the family do." Kyo stopped out of Shigure's range of vision, but Yuki could see him, feel him. He was in actuality not even a foot a way from the rat.

"I know, but I spoke with him this morning, and he just mentioned that he would like you to spend the night this week." Kyo now understood why Yuki had paled. While Yuki and he had yet to discuss the topic in depth he understood that Yuki was indeed afraid of the leader of the family, and the secrets lay buried in the past that Yuki didn't want to share with him just yet.

"I never want to stay in that house again." Yuki voice was deep with anger and defiance. Kyo reached out a hand, careful to stay out of Shigure's sight. And even though Yuki looked angry, Kyo could see his fear.

Take my strength. He didn't say it, but Yuki looked to him and the panicked look in his eyes faded slightly.

To Yuki the idea of spending any more time in that house then actually necessary was not an option. Not if he wanted to keep his sanity. So when the dog brought this up, he was shocked and worried beyond reason. There was something about him…Akito… that just resonated fear. Others feared him as well; Yuki knew it and the others. But now he was calming, and why? Because of him…Kyo. The moment that he had moved by him, Yuki had started to feel safer, and now as he angled his body to hide grabbing Kyo's hand, he felt strong. Like there was nothing that could harm him as long as Kyo was near.

And that was absurd…granted he was the only one that had ever really beat Kyo, if you didn't count Kagura. But still why did holding his hand make him feel so…strong? He watched as Kyo simply held his eyes, stoking his thumb gently over the webbing in Yuki's hand. It was soft and gentle and made him feel even more secure.

What was so special about Kyo?

Tohru has held his hand before and he never felt like this, but here, now, he felt like as long as he could hold on to Kyo he would be okay. Akito could never hurt him this way.

Aware that he was spacing out, he looked back over to Shigure, to see that the dog had indeed stopped talking and was looking at him with dark and intelligent eyes. Sunday was the first day of November, they all knew that he would have to go and even more they all knew that he hated and dreaded it, so why did they all think that it was necessary to make him go.

Now the Friday that had been going so well was shot to hell.

Not really remembering what was going on, Yuki nodded, and feigned fatigue and mentioned talking tomorrow morning. Looking over he watched as Kyo detangled their hands and walked softly away heading to the table, picking up the plates and taking them to the kitchen. Again the cat was thoughtlessly helping Tohru again making Yuki feel bad. He followed Kyo into the kitchen where Kyo was running a little bit of dish water so that he could wash dishes. He started washing, and looked up when Yuki appeared beside him grabbing a towel with a huff.

"You don't have to help." Kyo told him giving him a slight glare.

"Yeah I do."

"Why? I didn't ask?"

"You are."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kyo asked stopping his mundane task and looking over.

"It would look bad to Tohru if you helped and I didn't."

"That's stupid. I help because I want to, not because I want a girlfriend." Kyo muttered a dark look covering his face.

"I don't want a girlfriend." Yuki muttered as well, looking up and over to his still glaring cousin.

"You've always wanted Tohru."

"So have you." Yuki countered, yeah this day was on a bullet train to hell.

"No, I don't have a chance with her. Even if I wanted to, she is more into your type of guy."

"My type…"

"Ya know, princely."

"That's uncalled for. I didn't ask to be crowned prince of the school."

"That's not what I mean dumbass." Kyo growled with a smirk on his lips handing Yuki a plate after he washed and rinsed it.

"Then what do you mean."

"You know, it's the way you act, all polite and polished. That ice cold exterior and the leader of the class and all. You did all that yourself. You want people to worship you. Look how long you take to do your hair in the morning, and you barely have time anyway."

"I don't take that much time in the mornings."

"Only cause you wake up late, you fix your face and hair, throw on clothes and straighten them on the way to school."

"Hey! That's not…true," He had paused in thought going over a morning in his head, "How often do you watch me?" Yuki asked after realizing that that was indeed what he did every morning, and Kyo had noticed that before he realized that he even needed to do that.

"As often as you watch me." Kyo answered evasively.

"How long have you watched me?" Yuki wondered, realizing that the dishes were done.

"You have to watch your enemy." Kyo stated again evasively.

"I've been your enemy for as long as we've known each other."

"Yeah, quite a few years."

"Have you watched me that long? I wonder what you really know about me." Yuki pondered and Kyo looked at him, deadly serious.

"When you're nervous you bite your lower lip, when you smile you tilt your head slightly to the right, you have the habit of biting your fingernails, but you broke that one about a year and a half ago. You don't stand up for yourself, but will stand up for others, you like to sleep on your stomach, curled around a pillow, or me these days," That last part was muttered, "You don't like milk, you like miso soup for breakfast, you hate soggy rice, but love rice balls. Would you like me to go on?" Kyo blushed under the gaze that Yuki was pinning on him.

"I know you hate leeks…" For a moment that was all Yuki said, because it was all that he could remember. All the items that Kyo had listed off, Yuki didn't know any of that stuff when it came to Kyo. He had no idea; Kyo had to have a nervous habit, didn't he? And even though Yuki had considered him his enemy just as long, he didn't obviously know the rules of war like Kyo did. He watched as Kyo cleaned up the kitchen and just watched as he moved.

He was rude and abrupt, but even so, his walk and grace showed that he really was just like a cat, elegant and graceful. He was lean, even his hands, they were graceful and tapered as they used a paper towel to clean up the water around the sink. He was speaking softly, "…don't think it's weird, just watched you, that's all." Yuki completely missed the conversation and now he was just watching those lips as the moved. They were slightly pink, as though they had been worried by his straight white teeth, they were bowed shape, and when he smirked it tucked up in the right corner. And those eyes… he could stare at them all day.

"I want to know you the way you know me." He spoke so softly and Yuki didn't even realize that he had said it out loud.

"What?" Kyo asked turning around getting ready to shut the lights off.

"It's just…."

"Look, forget it…" He shut off the lights

"But…"

"I said forget it." Kyo ignored him walking to and up the stairs

"But I want to know those things…"

"Huh." He stopped at the top, making Yuki look up even more too even glance in his eyes.

"I want to know what you like to eat for breakfast, and what you do when you're nervous."

"Why?" Kyo backed up and allowed Yuki to come all the way up the stairs, but kept eye contact with him, obviously trying to understand what he was trying to say.

"Because you know that about me."

"Well then, I guess that you will just have to watch me a little more carefully then." Kyo told him with a small smile, "That means waking up in the morning to see what I eat for breakfast."

"But can't you just tell me that one."

"No…"

"But you know what I'm like in the mornings." Yuki realized that he was almost whining, which was very unlike him. He watched as Kyo's eyes widened in surprise then softened just a little bit.

"Consider it a challenge then."

"I don't like challenges."

"That's right, Prince Yuki, has everything given to him…"

"Hey!"

"Oh sore subject?" Kyo asked quietly opening his room door and walking in the banter falling silent, Yuki following with out question, glaring…

Fact was it was the only place that he slept anymore.

00-00-00-00

"What do you do when you're there?" Kyo asked sprawled on Yuki's bed hands laced behind his head.

"Usually we just have tea and talk." Yuki told him softly buttoning up his shirt and tucking the ends into his pants, then buttoning the black pants closed. "Sometimes I'm only there for an hour and other times I'm there for most of the night." His voice got softer as he walked across the room to his closet looking for his black belt.

"So why you dressing up then?" Kyo asked noting that while it wasn't evening wear, it was what he considered formal attire, black slacks with a grayish button up shirt, belt and a jacket to complete the ensemble.

"It would be disrespectful for me to show up to a meeting with the leader of my family in jeans and a t shirt." Yuki mumbled glaring over his shoulder as he finally located his belt.

"Who says?"

"Akito does." Yuki paused in lacing the belt through the loops to look at Kyo, who though he looked relaxed his shoulders were tense and his feet were constantly twitching. He had learned that that was one of Kyo's nervous tendencies.

"How did he teach you that one?" Again Yuki paused lacing his belt through the loops.

"When I was younger."

"Yuki, you don't have to put up with that…"

"Just stop it Kyo… this was part of the terms of me living here with Shigure."

"I'm just saying…"

"Forget it." Finishing with his belt he shrugged his jacket on and looked at Kyo, "Why the hell do you care anyway?"

"You know, sometimes you just annoy me." Kyo stated in anger as he stood.

"Then why bother?" Yuki asked walking away from Kyo as he headed for the door.

"Why bother? With what?" Kyo asked confused and still angry his voice raised another notch.

"With me, stupid! Why bother with me?"

"…" Kyo for a moment stared, stunned at the question, hadn't they been through this once before. Hadn't they in a way hashed this fight out already?

"Look you don't even know!" Yuki exclaimed pulling the door open and walking in the hall towards the stairs. Kyo jumped up and rushed to follow him.

"Hey, that's a hard question." Kyo yelled defending himself.

"What?" Yuki half turned as he huffed down the stairs.

"Damn it, can you answer that question?" Kyo yelled at him. That caused Yuki to pause for a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"Why the hell did you even bother with me in the first place?" Kyo asked turning the question on the rat.

"It was your fault really." Yuki explained calmly almost as though talking to a child. The tone and accusation had Kyo even more angered then before.

"What?"

"Well…"

"How the hell can this be my fault?"

"… if you would let me…"

"You started everything!" Kyo's face was red from anger and yelling.

"And you let me."

"You made the first move." Kyo really did look like a bristling cat.

"You let me keep making them, I kissed you, and you kissed me back. You could have fought back; you could have hit me you didn't. Then I cornered you in the kitchen, again you didn't fight me, you tried to make me forget everything. You put a stop to this once, then you let me back in. What's with all the chances Kyo? You are not a forgiving person."

"Why do you keep coming back?" Throwing his hands up in frustration and a huff, Yuki turned walked to the door, stopping to put on his shoes.

"This is getting us nowhere, I have to go." With that Yuki walked out the door, leaving an angry confused cat behind. But he wasn't the only one confused. During the walk, Yuki lost himself in thought. He had raised some very valid questions as had Kyo. Why had Kyo let him have so many chances? Why did Kyo bother with him? Why did he bother with Kyo? And there was no doubt that is was indeed Kyo's fault. If Yuki had started it, it was up to Kyo to stop it obviously.

But still he kept wondering, why was Kyo putting an effort into this? What did he want? Could it be that he was actually starting to really care for the other boy. If so what really did that mean. There would be so much to stand in their way, and the biggest obstacle was what he was going to go visit right now.

But for a moment he just let himself think. What would it be like to attend the same university? To dorm together, and even to be open to each other with out having to worry about another Sohma looking over his shoulder. They would still bicker, just like they always had but still this last exchange of words was really starting to bother him.

They hadn't really had much time together over the weekend, but Friday morning came to mind. There was no doubt, he had even said it then that they were starting to like each other, starting to care. It had move past lust and obsession, and for Yuki that was scary territory.

Sooner then later he found himself standing at the door and slowly peeking through to look around the grounds of the huge Sohma estate. He partially questioned where Akito would be right now, but decided to go to the tea room as per normal. When he arrived he knocked and then opened the door. There he found the leader of the family, laying out on the floor, with Hatori beside him, stethoscope to his heart, obviously monitoring the leaders health.

"Yuki, come in." The voice was soft and wheezy, but Yuki recognized it for the command it was. He walked through the room with his normal grace and sat across from him and poured the tea that was waiting.

"You will have to cut it short today. I want you resting within the hour." Hatori looked at both of them his visible eye stubborn and unforgiving.

"Hatori, I wish to enjoy my time with Yuki." Akito whispered softly casually brushing a hand over Hatori's.

"Doctor's orders, trust me Akito, your life is valuable, you will have tea with Yuki again next month, I refuse to take chances with your health. I will be back in an hour."

Yuki almost felt bad for being relieved that Akito was sick…almost. He drank from his tea slowly enjoying the flavor, while Akito made small talk. He talked when needed and the spoke a little of school and Akito was just broaching the subject of the upcoming holidays when Hatori peeked back into the room. That was one subject that he was not ready to start in on. Grey eyes observed as the two bickered back and forth but in he end, Hatori had a valid argument and Akito was sent off to bed rest.

"I will see you later Yuki," For some reason it was the only greeting and farewell that he had received from the doctor today. To most Hatori seemed cold, but that actually wasn't the case at all. To have put up with Ayame and Shigure so long Hatori was obviously made of softer stuff then he appeared. But something about today just seemed off, and odd. There was something that he was missing, but why would they keep something from him? It really didn't make sense.

Yuki finished his tea, then rose, put on his shoes and started the walk back home falling back into his thoughts about Kyo.

He wondered things about his so-called relationship with Kyo, but there was one thing that bothered him most. Neither of them really had every kept control during their encounters. Granted they had always pushed each other's buttons, but what had happened Friday, had been one of the most intense things they had done. It had been different. Kyo's eyes had stayed on his the whole time, and he had watched back mesmerized until Kyo had pushed him over the edge.

It had been more intimate than anything that they had done before.

And then Kyo wouldn't have allowed him to return the favor, but that night, just like every other Yuki had lost control. The moment that Kyo's naked body had been under his it had been about pushing Kyo to the end as fast and hard as he could.

What had Kyo seen that made him move slowly, what made him what to watch? Even when ever they were having sex when Yuki would look at him his eyes would be closed, letting his other senses absorb everything. But he wanted to watch, he wanted to see what Kyo's crimson eyes would look like after his orgasm. He wanted to know what his lover tasted like. Even now, thinking back over the last few weeks, he had really never tasted his lover's body below his upper chest.

By the time that he reached home, his body was almost as fevered as his thoughts.

00-00-00-00

So why did he bother?

Kyo had thought that they had figured that out Friday. Maybe he thought they had a lot of stuff figured out but none of it was figured out and that's why they were all confused. For a moment the cat stopped thinking realizing that he had just really confused himself. He stood there for a moment sorting out his thoughts and going back to the conversation in the boy's bathroom on Friday.

True he didn't say the words. But he had said 'me too'. Yuki would have translated that into a 'yeah I like you too,' right?

"You look deep in thought." Kyo turned and looked at the dog.

"…"

"That's strange for you."

"Damn mutt, get off my case, I have a brain you know!" Kyo really wasn't in the mood for verbal sparring with the owner of the house.

"But Kyo you barely ever use it, why the change today?"

"None of your damn business!" He looked over to the dog when he caught his wrist before Kyo could storm away.

"No, really Kyo. Something is going on around here, you aren't like yourself. I want you to know, seriously, that I'm here for you." Kyo looked at the dog, taking in his serious face. His eyes were dark with worry, and no grin lit up his face… he was serious.

"I'm fine." Shigure's speech seemed to calm the temper for a moment. He pulled his wrist from his grasp and walked off the porch.

"Kyo, I know that you have a lot to deal with, and being the cat has put you in a horrible position…"

"Damn dog, my life is over after this year, my life will be over in six months." Kyo turned and growled at him, "Do you want to say that you know how I feel? That you know what I'm thinking? Do you think in any way, shape, or form, think that you can understand me and my life."

"No Kyo," Shigure stood and turned to look at him, "I have no idea what your life has been like and what it will be like."

"It's over…" Kyo stopped when the door to the porch was pulled open and Yuki stood there blinking. He had obviously heard something, because his grey eyes were wide with confusion and he was looking back from one to the other.

"I'm back." He said, though it sounded like a whisper after Kyo's shouting. "What's over?" Yuki asked still looking between the two of them.

"This conversation." Kyo snarled before pulling away from Shigure and pushing past Yuki. He stormed through the house and up the stairs before slamming into his room. He sat down on the bed and let his head fall into his hands. Even now…thinking about it he shivered at the thought of his future. He didn't raise his head however when Yuki walked into the room. They had said it Friday, they were starting to like each other, starting to care.

He should tell Yuki the truth.

Yuki came into the room softly but he knew that Kyo heard him; the cat was simply sitting on the bed head in his hands. He looked defeated and Yuki didn't like it at all.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly walking over. Kyo looked up at him then and watched as Kyo looked up and down his body. Kyo extended his hands and Yuki looked at them. Then figuring out what was going on he extended both hands and allowed Kyo to check him over for injuries that Akito may have inflicted on him. "He was sick today," informed Yuki. "What were you guys fighting about down there?"

"The mutt was being stupid." Kyo grumbled but Yuki could tell by the way that he wouldn't meet his gaze that he was being lied to.

"You can't lie worth a damn, now look at me, and tell me the truth."

"No."

"Why not? Maybe it will help." He said it in anger but it was optimistic that he could help. Kyo gazed at him, if only he knew.

"It won't help. Just drop it." For some reason, this brought Yuki back to a month ago, when he had been the one to say these things.

It doesn't matter.

You can't do anything.

Why do you care?

Now he understood. He wanted to know, so he could fix it. So he could make it all better for Kyo, so that he didn't have to be worried and tired and look so upset. He wanted to make it go away, and make sure that he never had to look like this again. Was this why Kyo had been upset when he had come back with claw marks on arm and a slap welt on his face? Had Kyo wanted to fix it for him? Had Kyo wanted to make everything all better?

Had Kyo cared for him way back then?

Yuki kneeled down in front of Kyo and looked at him. Grey eyes bore into red as Yuki looked for answers there. There was nothing but more confusion there. So Yuki lifted his hands and placed them on the sides of Kyo's face. His skin was soft and he could feel the blush on his cheeks. Funny, Yuki could never remember touching his face before. Yuki kept looking into his eyes as they widened in surprise and Yuki remembered how understanding Kyo had been when he had come to his room and they had talked. He had asked Kyo to be patient just a couple days ago and now he figured that it was his turn.

"You'll tell me eventually right?" Yuki asked moving foreword slightly waiting for his answer. He saw the relief in Kyo's gaze and realized that neither of them were really ready for everything yet and this thing seemed to be moving beyond their control. Their so-called relationship seemed to have a mind of its own, but this time Yuki was going to try something else. His earlier thoughts came to him, and he already knew that he would top, he was going to do something else this time, he was going to stay in control of himself, something he had never done before.

So when Kyo nodded, that yes, he would tell Yuki eventually he thanked him with a kiss. And he his lips said so much more.

I understand.

I trust you.

Reverently he traced Kyo's face as he kissed him, and instead of tensing up and preparing for a sensual battle, as per norm, his body relaxed and his arms came up to wrap around his shoulders, because this kiss was not trying to beat him, win over him, it was trying to sooth him. He traced his hands through the dark ginger hair then down his down his neck and across his shoulders. For a moment he felt the urge to stand up and push Kyo to the mattress, staking his claim on the other's body, but he fought it and instead stood slowly pulling Kyo up with him. Kyo pulled back and blinked at him with wide red eyes, confused at the difference in his partner. Kyo reached forward and tried to grab the hem of Yuki's shirt but he grabbed the hands and kissed each one, and when Kyo glared at him he bit the end of one of his fingers before sucking on it gently. Yuki watched with rapt attention as Kyo's eyes darkened at that.

He was truly enjoying going slow. He took his time in taking the cats clothes off his body, touching and kissing the skin as it was exposed. He trailed kisses up his arm nibbling in the curve of the elbow, drawing a sharp gasp and shocked eyes to look at him. And when he explored his chest he made a point to trace each rib with his fingers and when he moved down he was surprised how the muscles in his abdomen would quiver when he dipped his tongue into his navel. By the time that Yuki was actually naked and Kyo prepared to take Yuki inside his body the cat was far beyond any point of reason.

"Look at me." Kyo opened heavy eyes to stare into his grey eyes. Yuki's voice was gravelly and soft, and Kyo wasn't sure if he heard him right. The question must have been apparent in his gaze. "I want to watch."

"Watch what?" His voice came out a breathless moan.

"Watch you, do you have any idea how you look right now?" He asked, leaning over him to brush his lips slightly.

"Watch all you want, just take me already." Kyo demanded.

Yuki obeyed.

00-00-00-00

Kyo lay stunned; Yuki had already fallen asleep, using him as a pillow, which was mostly normal these days. He was still messy and sweaty and the thought of moving even after…glancing at the clock…a half and hour…still seemed like ruining the moment. He had never, never felt as cherished as he just had. Yuki had given him something different. Something clenched in heart as he thought of leaving this all behind, of leaving this room, this house, this bed, and these memories.

For the first time in a long time he felt the urge to cry. How could he survive the coldness of a cage, when there was this type of warmth in his life? How was he ever going to get used to sleeping cold and alone? How was he ever going to get through the day without the glances at his partner? Unconsciously he gripped Yuki tighter and he responded in like shifting closer and placing his hand on Kyo's chest.

Yuki was even trying to clam him in his sleep. Kyo smiled softly, knowing all to soon that this would be over, that he would have to tell Yuki the truth. Maybe it had been a mistake to start to care for Yuki, maybe he shouldn't have given Yuki all the chances that he had.

They would both be in so much pain soon, and Yuki was right.

It was his fault.

00-00-00-00

For some of those who wonder why I don't update all the time, I try to make sure that my chapters are at least 10 pages if not more with a minimum of 5000 words. So sometimes they take a while to write.

Any way this story is up to 60 pages in Word and still not coming to a close. Thanks so much to those who reviewed to let me know that they are still reading. I appreciate it a lot.

Thanks,

Cat