This one is WEIRD. Just be warned. :P

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the characters.

Sneaking Arrangements

Rukia silently opened Ichigo's door and poked her head into the room; good, he was sleeping. Pushing open the door the rest of the way, she quickly walked in and opened his closet door, jumping inside without a sound. Once she had shut the door, she listened intently for any signs that Ichigo had woken up; none. He was sleeping like the dead.

Sighing in relief, she settled her small body into the thick, warm quilt inside his closet. She had tried sleeping in his sisters' room, but she just couldn't. Karin snored and Yuzu moved around too much. She was used to just Ichigo in the same room with her. She had never shared a room before she came crashing into his life, and she got too used to it.

So, here she was in the middle of the night, sneaking into his room in order to sleep in his closet.

But the quilts in there were so warm and thick; her small body was engulfed by the large, cotton filled pieces of cloth, and she loved it.

She just needed to wake up before he did so she could make a clean escape.

Easier said than done.

"Very well. You may stay in the human world; it is your patrol area, after all. But I have one question."

Rukia looked up at her brother after jabbing Ichigo in the side, who was currently holding his Zanpaktou over his shoulder and tapping his foot on the ground, inpatiently.

"Yes?" she said softly.

"What are your sleeping arrangements?"

"She's supposed to be sleeping in with my sisters, but she keeps sneaking back into my closet," Ichigo said, frowning as he stared down at Rukia.

"But I-"

"Rukia, last night when you snuck in, Kon went berserk and I had to tape him to the freakin' ceiling to keep him from jumping you in your sleep!" Ichigo said, putting his Zanpaktou back and crossing his arms over his chest. Rukia turned to glare at him.

"Well, it's not my fault that he's perverted!" she exploded. "And you taped him to the ceiling? So that was why he walked by this morning, muttering something about killing you next time he was in your body-"

Rukia cut herself off and her eyes widened at the same time Ichigo began cursing loudly.

As of this moment, Ichigo was in Shinigami form.

Rukia had lost her glove.

So . . . Kon was in Ichigo's body.

"I'm gonna kill him!" Ichigo roared, his fists clenching tightly as he turned to Rukia. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner? He's either getting my body ran over by cars at this moment or . . . or makin' out with some random freakin' girl!"

"How the hell was I supposed to know that a Hollow would attack and we would be forced to use him?" she yelled back, having to stand on her tip-toes to even look the slightest bit threatening.

"Well, you could have started by not losing the freaking glove, dope!"

"Me? It wasn't my fault! You're the one who put it in the washer with your clothes and let Yuzu get a hold of it!"

"And it's not my fault that you dunked it in chocolate just because you wanted to see if it was sticky!"

She gave him a glare that would have killed a lesser man. Ichigo said,

"Bah! Whatever, we need to find him. You comin' Byakuya?"

Byakuya shrugged. He would never admit it, but he wanted to see what would happen when they actually did find Kon. He wanted to see if Ichigo would actually injure his own body.

Ichigo stomped around town, grinding his teeth together as Byakuya and Rukia simply followed behind. He hadn't had any luck finding Kon, and he was beginning to get fed up.

Byakuya, who was walking further behind with Rukia, asked,

"Why is he so angry?"

She shrugged.

"When we first got Kon, he started out by hurting Ichigo's body and kissing one of our classmates. Ichigo made a very big deal out of it."

Ichigo turned back and glared at her.

"Well, duh, dope. He kissed Inoue. I mean . . . geez, I like the girl as a friend, but not someone I would willingly give my first kiss to."

Rukia raised her eyebrows.

"First kiss?"

Ichigo growled, "Yeah. And if you ever tell anyone about that, I'll tape you to the ceiling, too."

Rukia shut her mouth, and they both stayed silent until Ichigo found Kon. Then, Ichigo exploded.

"I'm SO going to kill him!"

Rukia stood back and watched silently as Ichigo stomped up to Kon and pulled him roughly away from the girl he was currently trying to suck lunch up from inside her mouth and hauled him away from her. Kon just smirked, happy with that he had done.

"That was the third."

He really shouldn't have said that.

Ichigo grabbed his Zanpaktou and rammed the butt of it into Kon's head, making him fall to the ground out cold. He then whacked Kon so hard upside the head that the Soul Candy flew out.

"Ichigo! You will not crush that Soul Candy, or so help me, I will ruin you!" Rukia yelled loudly, stomping over to where Ichigo was trying to crush Kon in between his fingers.

"I am not getting back inside my body!" he yelled, staring down at said body, which was laying on the ground, no signs of life in it whatsoever.

"And why not?" Rukia said, stealing Kon from him and stuffing the small, green candy in her pocket.

"Because I hurt him . . . me! And because . . . because of normal male reactions from being with a girl!" he said a slight blush on his face as he flipped his body over with his foot.

Byakuya raised his eyebrows again.

"Kurosaki . . . if that . . . Kon, get's near my sister while he is inside your body, I will kill both him and you."

Ichigo gulped and muttered, "See, Rukia? That was why I freakin' taped him to the ceiling last night! And speaking of last night . . . stay out of my closet!"

And the argument started again.

"But your sister snores."

"So do I."

"Yes, well, when I kick you, you stop. She doesn't," Rukia said, her arms crossed over her chest.

"You kicked my sister?" Ichigo yelled, his eyes wide.

"No, baka. I can't kick her; that's the problem. I don't have any reservations about kicking you, but I will not kick Karin. But she snores like a freight train!"

"So do you," Ichigo pointed out. "And I have to live with you, so you can live with Karin."

Out of ideas, Rukia said,

"I don't want to. I like your closet. And if you don't let me sleep in there, I'll stick Kon in your body and trap him inside a room with chappy!"

"But Chappy would be in your body!" Ichigo said, frowning.

"It's a gigai. I can replace it at anytime. You, however, only have one real body."

She smirked and Ichigo growled, defeated. There was no way he would let Kon alone with anything, even it was demented, in Rukia's body. That would be . . . wrong on so many levels.

Byakuya just rolled his eyes.

O ... K ...

That. Was. Weird. I have NO idea where it came from. I just wrote it. o.O

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