Disclaimer: As always, nothing belongs to me.

He gripped at my shoulders and pushed me away from him, so he could look into my eyes, which were still glistening with tears. "Are ya really that oblivious? I simply... love you."

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"You love... you... you do?"

"Well... First I didn't want ta admit it. I mean, I never thought I could love another man... and ya still loved Hotohori. Plus, I knew ya would not love me back... But I never tried ta do such a stupid thing and kill myself because of unrequited love! Hotohori doesn't deserve ya, anyway. He never looked at ya twice and he never thought about yer feelings! How can ya love him still?"

I was getting angry again. "Don't say such things about Hotohori-sama! He is very sacrifice and always does what is best for his country first. Therefore he is very lonely because everyone just sees the emperor and I wish I could ease his pain... Actually, he would not hurt me intentionally, but he knows I'm a man and his advisors rush him to take an empress."

"I would think about that twice! He knows about yer feelings, however, he still ignores ya and even distanced himself from ya since he knows. I don't believe he thinks of you as a friend because then he would have talked to ya or showed ya that you're important ta him! He doesn't have any time for ya at all and all he cares about is his own looks!"

"Stop telling lies!"

I didn't want to hear any more of Tasuki's babbling, but somehow, in the back of my mind, I realised it was true what he said. Hotohori-sama couldn't change the way he felt for me, neither could I. But I didn't want to see him every day and suppress the tears anymore because of that knowledge. I knew we could never be together but it hurt so much.

I struggled and easily broke free from Tasuki. I rose from my bed and headed towards the middle of the room, wanting to take the knife which still lay there. But Tasuki saw where I was going and thanks to his speed he grabbed the knife right when I reached out with my hands. I glared at him.

"Give it back to me!" I demanded, simultaneously tried to snatch the knife back from Tasuki. He didn't make a move, though, and just held the knife out of my reach. Thanks to his height I couldn't get it now.

"Tasuki, you know I'm much stronger than you. I don't want to hurt you, but if you won't give me the knife I have no choice."

"Nuriko, why don'tcha forget him? Why can'tcha give me a chance?"

"I can't just forget him and love you instead! I've loved him for so long, although I knew he would never love me back, nevertheless I can't change the way I feel. I love him so much, even though it hurts, but I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can return your feelings either. The easiest way to solve this problem is for me to die."

And then, much to my surprise, Tasuki began to look angry. He dashed forward and before I had the time to think or to react he grabbed me by my shoulders and fiercely pressed his lips down on mine. My eyes widened and when I regained control I immediately pushed him away.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"If ya can't love me voluntary, I'll make ya love me!"

He is insane, I thought. Of course I knew I was stronger than him, but nevertheless I felt a tingle of fear. Again, he reached out and got hold of my wrist. I've never seen this look on Tasuki's face ever, but I was afraid, not sure what was going on. This was not the Tasuki I was used to, but he had always been very emotional.

"Tasuki, please stop! I don't want to hurt you, but this is going way to far, okay?"

However, Tasuki took advantage of his speed once again and scooped me into his arms, the next moment I found myself pinned down on my bed. My fear has turned into panic and I felt numb. I could've easily thrown Tasuki off of me, but shocked like I was, I couldn't even think straight. I did nothing, feeling like my whole strength had been drained and prevented my muscles from moving.

And then... I got confused when I saw tears building in Tasuki's eyes. What was going on?

The next words were whispered and I almost didn't hear them. "Why can't you love me? It would be so much easier for both of us..."

Suddenly I felt guilty when I realised that I caused Tasuki the same pain as Hotohori did to me. A lump was forming in my throat and I forced my own tears back. This time I had to be strong for Tasuki.

"I'm sorry... Tasuki... but... just give me some time. Maybe I could give it a try..."

"Ya... would?"

"Tasuki, I know how you feel more than anyone. I can't promise you anything, but I'll try."

Tasuki let go of my hands and turned away. I had the impression he felt ashamed that he nearly began crying in front of me. I saw him wipe at his eyes. "Sorry," he said.

I sat up, still a bit shaky, and gently touched his arm. "You don't have to be sorry. I know more than anyone the pain of unrequited love. It's no shame for you to cry."

I embraced Tasuki, wanting to give the comfort he needed. I think he never showed his hidden emotions in front of anyone. I've never seen Tasuki show the weak side of him - but when I thought about it, neither did I. We had much more similarities than I expected. And now that I was so close to him and found he was pretty good-looking. Of course, in a different way than Hotohori was, but nevertheless there had always been something special about him. I remembered all the times I hung around with Tasuki. He was the only one who made me laugh. He was the only one who loved me. When did that happen, anyway? I couldn't remember he ever let something slip. Maybe he had been afraid and didn't want to admit his feelings to himself either. Maybe all the teasing was the only way he could deal with it. Gods, how much effort did it take him to tell me this? How much did he had to suffer because of me?

"Nuriko, I'm glad I told ya."

I smiled at him, but my heart was aching. "Me too."