Chapter 15
Distrust and Discovery

Trowa settled down on the couch beside Quatre, staring idly at the moon light filtering through the house the two…no, he corrected himself…the three lovers had built. The one who they had thought to not exist had pitched in too, leaving a slightly eerie feeling to the room they sat in. Frightening to think that someone who by all means shouldn't be real had helped to build this home. Within one day, Trowa's world had shifted, and what had previously been just a place his two friends lived in now stood as a memorial to a soldier everyone else had forgotten. How many planks of wood had he touched? How many nails had he driven in? How much of this building was his design?

How much of their lives, of this planet, had Duo shaped? How many people or things had he affected—the results of his actions still there, but the action itself long fading from their recollections…?

Were the memories locked in the wood and nails the reason the green eyed man could never bring himself to visit his two friends?

Trowa shuddered. All those tales and stories, the lost and fleeting memories that plagued the European late at night, and the whisper of his mind telling him something was missing…all of it was right. Slipping his fingers around Quatre's, they sat in Heero's house in quiet contemplation, the Arabian idly fingering the blanket Trowa had wrapped around his shoulder's earlier that night.

After discovering the writing, the two had rushed to Heero's side. They had showed him the cross and viewed the tagging on the bottom side of the cupboard with a reverie normally reserved for sightings of the Virgin Mary. But this was far more real than anything that had been seen on a piece of toast. This they held in their hands. This they struggled to recall. This they mulled over as they tried to figure it out; tried to put some logical explanation to something so utterly illogical to begin with. Tried to fit it in to their realm of reality as they knew it, only to come out with one answer—reality as they knew it had to be a lie. Just how could someone be wiped out of existence?

Chris had set up a meeting with all of them the next morning to discuss more details. Until then, he had suggested they get some sleep and keep each other company. Quietly, and in conspiratorial tones he had whispered that it was wise to not leave Heero to his own devices. It was clear there was some undertone of meaning that indicated more than just migraines and the man's own distress would plague him, but they were too frightened to press and ask what other things would bother Heero in the night. Instead, they had consented to guarding him. It wasn't as if they would have left him to his own machinations. After all that had just happened, he needed the two of them as much as they needed him.

"How is he doing?" Quatre asked as he looked up to Trowa. Bringing their interlocked fingers to his lips, Trowa placed a loving kiss over Quatre's knuckles, leaning back against the overstuffed couch. Tugging the blond closer to him, he tucked the boys head under his chin as he took a deep breath of his hair, taking comfort in the familiar scent. It was the only real thing that Trowa could assure himself of in this hellish nightmare of disappearing acts and strange, aloof feelings that seemed to occur more and more. All of this was forcing him to come to terms with something in him he had never spoken of. Secrets he had never quiet understood why he had. He was questioning himself more and more, and starting to notice a disturbing trend in his own body and mind that he used to discount as fancies. But he couldn't anymore. And he was starting to scare himself…

"Dead asleep," he replied, forcing his mind off of himself, and focusing instead on his friend. This was no time to wallow in the maze of his own hell.

"And the cross?"

"He wouldn't let it go. Had it in a death grip even after he faded," Trowa stated. What he didn't tell him was that he dare not touch the necklace. Dare not open up the doorway to things it might do to him—things it might make him see. He resisted the urge to shudder once again, or get up and take another one of the pills the Preventer psychiatrist had put him on. He just grasped the blond tighter, lips brushing across the pale flesh of the Arabian's fingers. Quatre scowled thoughtfully, gnawing lightly at the inside of his cheek.

"Trowa?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think it'll come after us?" he wondered, voicing the fear he had held in him since the moment the world had broken. Trowa looked down to him, studying the pale features of his lover before he shook his head, following his gaze to study the patch of moonlight skirting across the deep red, oriental rug thrown across the wood floor. He mimicked his lovers nervous twitching by gnashing his inner lip, trying hard to keep away the dizzying feeling that was pooling in his stomach, screaming with pictures he couldn't put words to.

"No," he forced out, cheek laying flat against the ruffled blond mass of hair. "I…I think whatever this is," he ventured on, even as the coldness of his own mind unfolded with strange pictures, "is solely after them. I think it went after Duo for a reason, and it also has something in for Heero and Wufei…I think we're just bystanders…whatever happens to us is inconsequential." Quatre shifted, pulling back and looking to his lover with beetled brows, studying him closely.

"Why do you say that? How would you know?" he asked. Trowa flushed, trying to resist the urge to tug at his hair. A tale-tale sign he was nervous or lying. Instead, he did his best to portray innocent nonchalance, gazing out of the window and into the starry night.

"I don't know…just a feeling, I guess," he half lied.

Quatre stared at his lover, feeling shut out, perturbed by the sudden shut down of feelings from Trowa. He could tell the man had suddenly closed himself off, and it bothered him. What was it, behind those green eyes, that suddenly had the Arabian feeling suspicious and scared? What did he know? Not for the first time in his life, he felt like the outsider looking in, unable to crack the code on the one person his heart had screamed to read and fix. Swallowing hard, he suddenly snagged Trowa's face between his fingers, forcing him to look him in the eyes.

"Trowa?" he stated in a measured tone.

"Yes?" the European replied, voice small.

"You didn't have anything to do with his disappearance?" Quatre questioned curiously. Trowa blinked, before green eyes turned wide with rage. He jerked away from Quatre, surging to his feet.

"Why the hell would you say that?" he snapped.

"Because! How could you know that it only wants to hurt them if you don't know more about it?" Quatre accused. "Besides, you just cut yourself off from me. Why? What are you hiding?" the blond practically yelled, fists clenching against the cushions. Trowa's mouth dropped open, body shaking with rage. Please, his mind begged. Please don't make me tell you…

"How could you ever think I would turn my back on them? They're my friends!"

"Yet you never ONCE came to comfort Heero or Wufei when this was happening!" Quatre shot back, angered that Trowa had dodged the questions.

Because I couldn't touch them. You don't understand! his heart wanted to scream. Instead, he just grit his teeth.

"Fine…fuck off, Quatre," he growled. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

With that, he stormed out of the room. Left alone, the blond dragged his nails down his legs and let himself finally release the torrent of tears that had been building. Why hadn't Trowa answered? Why hadn't he done more to clear his name? What was he hiding?

Left alone with only his fears, Quatre clutched the blanket around his shoulders.

"What's going on?" he whispered hoarsely to the night. "Trowa…what are you hiding? Why won't you trust me…?"

oOoOo

The singing called to him. Drew him from the nothingness of his dreams and back into the dark realm where he had been cast into so many nights in a row. Clutching the cross tighter in his hold, he drew a deep, fortifying breath. The voice that had whimpered and called for him night after night echoed around him. This time though, it murmured a soft song in a strange language, filled with even more misery than the pleas had been before. Heero knew he had to reach him. Something in him screamed that he was running out of time to save him.

To save Duo.

He closed his eyes and prayed that he could move, once more recalling how horrid it had been to stand, forced to the spot and unable to even twitch as he listened to the screams. Since all of this had begun, it had been the same…like it would change tonight? Should he even try? But he knew he couldn't just stand there…he had to fight. Even if he didn't win. Swallowing his pride, he readied his will for the struggle against the invisible binds that always held him motionless. His muscled clenched. His body prepared. And with one burst of energy, he forced his limbs to jerk forward against the barrier he knew would be there….

…and proceeded to fall flat on his face.

For a moment, he couldn't move, the shock was so extreme. Experimentally he turned his head to look at the hand by his face. He twitched the fingers, then stretched them. Astonishment filled him as he slowly, very slowly, pushed himself to his knees. The sharp edges of the cross bit into his other palm as he stood on wobbly legs.

"I can move," he gasped in surprise.

"It's about damn time…"

The familiar voice of the strange man…Zarek, was it? echoed through the abyss, but when he turned to see from whence it came, there was nothing. He was tempted to call out to him, but his attention was caught once again by the low, slow and sonorous rise of a voice that he now recognized to the core of his soul as being Duo's. Tucking the golden crucifix around his own neck, he began the walk he had wanted to make for so long in the direction he heard it coming from, and as he did, he could feel what seemed like the world warping around him. Cool wind brushed his arm, and the blackness peeled back to give way to a ground of dark violet with a sky covered in mist, tinted green.

But that wasn't what held his attention.

It was the crumpled, bleeding body that did. The blank eyes that shone a pitch black where a gorgeous amaryllis should have been. His heart skipped a beat as he watched the boy collapse forward in tears, singing hopelessly to himself the words of the song "Ave Maria" as he hugged the ground. Chestnut hair was matted and mangled, stuck into the wounds that revealed muscle and bone where the pale, unmarred white flesh he had come to so love had once been.

Memories flooded him. The way those gorgeous locks had felt brushing against his skin the first time they had sex. How passionate the boy had been as he rocked back and forth in Heero's arms, begging for him to give him a reason to keep on living. At the time, the Japanese man had thought those were only the pleas of a young boy. Now he knew—it was of a man searching for some reason to keep putting up with whatever was after him. Had Duo known even then? Had he understood even on the night they had caught Wufei watching them and had motioned for the other man to join, that soon, he would leave the two alone? Is that why had been so adamant, on that cold evening filled with new passion and timid touches between the virgin dragon and the starving Heero, that the two find comfort with each other?

"It's better this way…in case one of us dies, we have the other to depend on," he had rationalized. "Plus…you two have wanted each other for so long…and I've wanted you both…. Do you want me, Wufei?"

Wufei had nodded in astonished desire, and Heero had felt a possessive need drag through him. That night had felt so right. Like he had been born for that moment. For that time when he would hold them both in his arms and hear their cries. Drown out the horrors of the mission in the pleasure and the comfort they provided. As if he had been born to be with them…

How could he have forgotten? All this time, they had blamed "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" on the reason that Wufei and Heero couldn't remember how they had come to be together. The truth…Duo was the cause of everything good in his life. Duo was the reason Heero lived. Breathed. The reason he and Wufei had fallen in love.

Duo was their everything…

Taking a step forward, he let out a choked cry as he attempted to say the name that refused to surface. The body jerked in surprise, rolling back and into a crouching position, staring with wide doe eyes at the approach of the ex pilot. The savage, vicious look the battered boy cast towards Heero made the Japanese man suddenly nervous. Did Duo not remember him? Was whatever strange amnesia that had hooked its insidious claws into Wufei and the others plaguing him as well? For a moment, he considered dropping down to his knees and trying to reason, else turning and running, the other looked so ferocious. But those thoughts were allayed slowly the well guarded terror and struggling defense melted into disbelieving astonishment.

"Heero…what are you doing here?" Duo rasped. Adrenaline drained away from him quickly, leaving behind the overwhelming exhaustion Duo always felt under Mneme's service. Falling to his side, he caught and balanced himself precariously on his arms, ignoring the pain that begged him to lie down and never get up again. Instead, he focused on the emotion slowly rising in him…Mneme always did a wonderful job of draining him, leaving him feeling empty and weak, with nothing left but the physical pain. Yet even now, when he thought he was completely numb after she had so thoroughly raped his mind and body, he found himself feeling baffled and hopeful; overwhelmed and astonished.

How could it be that the dark haired man was here? How had Heero managed to sneak into Duo's sanctuary—the realm of the God of Death—during the small break that Mneme had given him while she "dealt with pressing matters"? In truth, he knew she was off trying to seduce some god to help her ride her high of his emotions to a straining, breaking peak, until she was drained and he was replenished, and she could start the torture all over again. But even though she was distracted with finding a nightly pleasure mate, there still should have been no way for him to appear in his realm. The only way a mortal could enter was if a god had granted him access…

…but who would have permitted it?

He tried to shift to a more comfortable position, only to hiss as pain blinded him and his elbow buckled, sending him tumbling to the floor. Before he could impact, though, gentle hands grabbed him and lifted his emaciated form, pulling him back against a familiar chest and into a warm embrace. Dark eyes widened in surprise as Duo looked up blearily to Heero, now poised behind him and cradling him in loving arms.

"I…I tried to come sooner…but…" Heero couldn't finish, shaking his head. "I…somehow, I forgot…" A strained, but still positively devastating smile tugged at the American's features as he proceeded to pull him down and give him a soft kiss. The simple touch ignited in Heero all the longing and need he had felt since Duo's disappearance, and with the boundary of suppressed memories now somehow shattered, he clutched the boy to him in a hold that spoke volumes of his emotions, trying to portray through the brush of lips all the love he felt for the boy in his arms. He willed himself not to cry, silently praying to whatever god that the moment would never end…

"You always were forgetful," Duo teased, slowly pulling back from the touch. "Remember that time you forgot Wufei's favorite color? I mean for the love of god…it was the same blue as his pants…" At the snort Heero gave him, Duo gave a lilting laugh and shook his head, nipping Heero's scowling lower lip as he reveled in the joy of just being. "Honestly? I knew you would…I told you that you would," Duo murmured almost smugly. Nuzzling their noses together, Duo let the smile grown, relaxing back in peace in Heero's arms.

It was amazing…Mneme had positively drained him of everything. He knew she had…she had been so vicious after finding out he had fallen in love and wanted to leave. So cruel and so thorough…worse than ever before. All of his need, his love, his desire and desperation had been dragged forcefully from him and into the goddess's body. He had been left a hollow husk, with nothing left to give to her. She had drained him so extremely that he had thought it impossible to ever feel again…he had been certain he never would heal. And without the ability to care, he had just collapsed and let the pain of his wounds comfort him, positive that no touch of humanity would curse his wretched soul….

…until Heero had appeared.

Then the emotions returned, as if never taken. The love came back stronger, his body seemed to fill with all the desires he had thought would take weeks to reclaim, if ever at all…and he wasn't sure if he was happy or scared. Heero was there. That meant he remembered him, and maybe Duo could be freed. But at the same time, it also meant Mneme could feed sooner, which always hurt…

He settled for the moment on happy, unwilling to sacrifice his time with Heero for anything. Snuggling back tighter in the arms, he ignored the way his wounds screamed in protest of the movement and the contact, instead relishing in the heat of his lover's body. It pierced the freezing cold that he always felt after leaving Mneme, melting the ice around his aching heart and rekindling the flame of hope. God…just touching Heero made him want to be alive…to be free….

"You knew you would be taken?" Heero asked, breaking Duo's happy silence. Grimacing, he glared up to him a moment. Why did Heero always have to go and ruin the moment with such serious questions? Killjoy.

"Yes…" Duo sighed a little frustrated, unsure if it was his own guilt at not telling them before he was taken about the curse, or actual sorrow at having the moment interrupted. How rare was it in this cruel life he was damned to live had he ever felt a loving hand? Even in his free youth, his parents had discarded and forgotten him…until he had found Heero and Wufei, he had never known a loving touch. Never known a gentle kiss. Not even the first time he met them, when he was cursed because of his need for them, had they treated him so kindly. All he wanted was the comfort Death was never permitted. A soft touch that was far too foreign. Heero, as if sensing the need, showered soft kisses across tear stained cheeks, gently rubbing aching arms in a possessive embrace.

"Duo…what's going on? What is all of this?" Heero asked quietly, searching desperately for some answers. "Why did they take you away from me?" Duo cringed, squeezing his eye tighter as he fought against his own urge to scream. He wanted to tell him, but he couldn't! He couldn't risk them getting hurt any longer. Weakly, he tried to pull away. To break the spell of comfort that offered him absolution if he just opened up and let him know. How easy would it be to finally tell someone what had really happened? But what if he just made things worse? Struggling to break free, he succeeded only in making Heero hold him tighter. "Don't run away from me, Duo. I love you, and I am not letting you hide this from me now. I want you back, and you have to tell me how I can get you out of here," he snapped. Duo sighed, falling back against him in defeat.

"Heero…I don't think I can say…it'll break the rules…" he murmured hopelessly. A low growl rumbled the hard body he was pressed against, and the fallen god felt himself shudder with a mix between apprehension and desire the noise aroused in him.

"What rules?" the Japanese man practically screamed. He was getting so sick of hearing "It's against the rules" from everywhere. First Zarek, and now Duo? What rules could possibly exist that would condone this, or at least not do everything possible to fix this? This wasn't a game, for god's sake! This was their lives!

"The rules of the curse…" Duo replied meekly, hands coming up to grasp Heero's wrists, praying that his anger wouldn't make him pull away. Despite his earlier attempts at escape, Duo needed to know that Heero wouldn't turn away now. That no matter what happened, Heero would hold onto him and not turn his back on him…that for once in his life, he wouldn't have to fight alone. Pressing back into him desperately, he shifted in his hold to hide his face against his chest. Once again seeming to sense his need, Heero tightened his hold and lifting himself and curling around the brown haired boy, shielding his lover's body with his own. The feeling was overwhelming, causing Duo's lips to part with a touch of shock as the smell of peppermint and spice hit him full on, drowning him in the presence that was purely Heero. Looking up to him surprised, the god of death resisted the urge to whimper, feeling like a school girl instead of an ancient deity. Heero gazed back down to him, deep blue eyes shining fiercely, filled with energy that Duo couldn't muster, saying quietly what Duo ached to hear.

I will fight for you, they said…and Duo knew it was true, then. While the first incarnation he had fallen in love with, back in Egypt, would never fight the gods, this Heero… his Heero, would face down the devil himself to have him back. And with the way things were looking, Duo seriously believed that would be the case.

"You'll fight for me, right?" Duo whispered, lying trusting and almost lifeless in the others arms. Heero gave him a reassuring smile.

"Until time ends, I will. I would do anything to have you back," he swore. "But I need to know what's going on, Duo…. Can you tell me what the rules are?" he pleaded. Duo sighed, ready to shoot him down and tell him no, but something in the back of his head clung to hope, screaming for him to at least ponder the possibilities. So instead, he sat quietly a moment, thinking the question over.

"Technically, it's a part of the curse…I'd have to tell you the curse to tell you the rules…" he finally explained.

"Then tell me, damn it," Heero beseeched desperately, pressing his face into the mass of chestnut hair on top of Duo's head. "Give me something to go on so I can get you back, please, koi…Wufei and I need you. You have no idea what hell it's been since you've been gone…we don't need to remember you to know that you should be with us. Please give us a way to bring you back…."

Duo felt his heart break at the words, his fingers tangling into the soft shirt of his lover. He wanted to tell him…to tell him everything…but he wasn't allowed to….

But even as he prepared to say that, something in his subconscious felt like it were jumping up and down, throwing a tantrum in hopes of getting noticed. It railed against his conscious mind, screaming, "Hey! Gloomy! Over here! Look what I found!" His brows lifted…could he?

Slowly, he ran the curse over in his head, turning it this way and that, studying each word as it was said. There were so many stipulations, so many things prohibiting him from saying a word. But then he grinned. So simple, but such a downfall. A part of the curse had been attached when the deal was cut with his parents that would allow him to return to Earth for any wars they needed his help on. It stated that "As long as he is under a period of release from Mneme's servitude, soul in tact, and under the control of his parents, he will never speak of the curse or who he actually is to anyone or anything, else those who are told will be killed." It never said anything about him not speaking about it after he was returned and back in Mneme's servitude! A cocky grin lit his lips…god damn, he loved loopholes!

Of course they had never stated he couldn't speak when he was in servitude…he needed to in case she sent him out on missions. And they never said he couldn't tell the two who had been the cause, because they never thought he'd encounter them while under her strict rule.

She had never counted on one of them coming to Duo…

He was free to say whatever he wanted…

"Do you have a while? It's a long story," Duo wondered, looking up to him with a smile. Heero blinked in surprise and just nodded. He didn't want to take away any of the precious time Duo had to explain with unnecessary words or questions. "Good," he continued. "Then let me start from the beginning. My real name is Democritus, and I am The God of Death…."

Hope you all enjoyed this latest installment! I'm working on Chapter 16 right now...hopefully that'll be up within the next few days before I have to go back to work, LOL! Tell me what you think? I know these are getting a bit longer, I really do hope you all enjoy them. And thank you SOOO much to everyone who stuck with me even after the long hiatus, and also the new readers! I hope to keep you all entertained and coming back for more...lol, not even I know how this will turn out anymore...