Theme 17: Family

Timeline: One day after 'Warmth of the season'

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"Naruto, I expect you to behave this time. None of your antics, understood?"

"But Iruka-sensei, this is going to be boooooring! Why do we have to go?" Naruto whined as Iruka dragged him down the street. It was only two days until Christmas, and Naruto still had bruises from where Iruka had tackled him for messing up the last Christmas event they'd gone to.

Naruto knew why they were going, of course. Iruka was going, and dragging him along, because he was a sucker for Christmas and all the stupid sentiments that went with it. Naruto thought it was stupid. Christmas was a time for families, not for orphans and outcasts. He'd tried telling Iruka this, but the older man had just cryptically responded, "There's more to family than just blood, Naruto." and insisted he comb his hair before they left.

"We have to go because there is going to be delicious, free home-cooked food." Iruka told him, although he wasn't fooling anyone.

"But this is an old lady party. They smell funny and pinch my cheek and tell long, boring stories about their cats. I don't want to go." Naruto said firmly.

"Just because this event is being hosted by the elders' wives doesn't mean it's an 'old ladies party'. And you don't have a choice. You're coming with me. You still owe me for ruining the macaroni I worked so hard on!"

"You bought it already made from the store and you know it, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto accused. Iruka looked stunned for a moment (did he think Naruto hadn't seen the box sitting right there in his trash-can?), before he smiled at Naruto.

"I know it's going to be boring, but we don't have to stay for very long. If we can just hold out for the food…hey, don't laugh! One day you too will be a bachelor, and then you won't scoff at the offer of free food, trust me!" Naruto frowned at his sensei.

"I don't believe you. Whenever an adult says they won't stay long, it takes forever." Naruto revealed with his child's wisdom. Iruka smiled fondly at him.

"How about this: we'll think of a secret code word right now, and if it gets too bad and you really want to leave, you'll say it andI'll make out excuses and leave. But, in return, you have to try your hardest to last until we eat. Deal?" Iruka asked. Naruto studied his face for a moment, to make sure he wasn't trying to trick him. Iruka looked just as kind and honest as usual. Naruto grabbed hand and shook it. He nodded shrewdly.

"Deal. And the code word is 'ramen'." He said, settling on his favorite word as his ace in the hole.

"I think maybe we should choose a word that you don't use every ten minutes in normal conversation." Naruto scowled at the accusation, but admitted that the chuunin did have a point.

"Ok. The code word is 'cannon ball'." Naruto declared.

Iruka stared at him for a moment, mouthed the word, 'cannon ball?', then shrugged. "Whatever. Just make sure you don't forget it."

The two walked down the street and stopped at the final door.

'This is for free food!' both of them told themselves, and they set their shoulders and knocked on the door.

MERRYCHRISTMASMERRYCHRISTMASMERRYCHRISTMAS

"Oh, don't you have the most adorable little cheeks!" the first smelly old woman cooed, pinching Naruto's face and punctuating each word with a sharp tug.

'Ouch, that's attached, lady!' His mind yelled. He stayed quiet, though. 'I'm the future Hokage; I can take this. I can't get Iruka-sensei kicked out of this before he gets his free food.' His resolution made, his will set, Naruto stout-heartedly endured as the lady released his face and the next woman latched on to him.

"Oh, they look like little whiskers. That reminds me, just yesterday, my Mr. Muffins…you remember Mr Muffins, don't you, ladies?" She paused and asked, still grasping half of Naruto's jaw.

"Oh, yes, your simply gorgeous Siamese cat. Oh, what did Mr Muffins do?" The other ladies asked. Naruto stood there bravely and took the abuse as his cheeks were passed from lady to lady and mind-numbingly dull cat stories were exchanged. Inside, he was sobbing.

From across the room, where more old ladies had kidnapped Iruka and were interrogating him on his love life, Naruto's sensei caught his eye. Naruto smiled at him and tried to look like he wasn't as miserable as he was. For all Iruka-sensei put up with for his sake, Naruto could suffer through this.

"Oh, I have something I simply must show all of you!" The woman, who had nearly burst Naruto's eardrum with her squeal, rummaged through her purse and pulled out a scrapbook. "Pictures of my baby grandniece! Isn't she divine?" The ladies scooted closer to see the pictures, smashing Naruto between them. He choked on their heavy perfume.

'Must…endure. Going…to be…Hokage.'

Iruka must have sensed Naruto's distress, because he came across the room and pried Naruto out from between the floral print dresses of two oblivious women, who were pulling out their own photo albums.

"Naruto, could you help me move this table and get things set up for the meal?" He asked. He dragged Naruto away from the demon ladies.

"You doing ok?" Iruka whispered. Naruto nodded. He wasn't, but Iruka deserved his dose of Christmas and his free food.

"Who wants to see x-rays of my hip replacement?" One of the older ladies shouted then. The other women nodded their assent.

"Cannon ball! Cannon ball!" Naruto shouted. Iruka nodded, and they shot out of the room.

MERRYCHRISTMASMERRYCHRISTMASMERRYCHRISTMAS

"I'm sorry you didn't get your free food." Naruto told Iruka shyly, once they were a safe distance, two blocks, from the party.

"It's ok. I think if they had asked me why I don't have a girl friend one more time, I would've snapped." Iruka admitted. They both laughed. Both stomachs growled almost at once.

"So, let's go get something to eat." Iruka proclaimed. "What do we feel like?"

"Ramen!" Naruto volunteered. The misery of the party was forgotten immediately. Naruto's cheek still ached a little from the poking and prodding, but it was nothing Almighty Ramen couldn't heal.

The duo headed to Ichiraku's. The ramen stand was nearly empty. Only the owner was there, cooking like always, and a single ninja slurped up noodles in the corner. Naruto recognized him as the ninja who had been sitting beside him at the Christmas dinner the day before. He watched for a moment to see if he could catch a glimpse of the face beneath the black mask, but the mysterious man kept obstructing his view. Naruto gave up quickly in favor of placing his order.

"I should make you pay for this, you know." Iruka teased as Naruto began listing all the flavors he planned to eat. "Seeing as you're the reason we aren't eating for free."

"Hey, you were miserable too! 'Oh Iruka, you're such a nice boy. It's a shame you don't have a nice girlfriend to go home to. I know, why don't I set you up with my niece?'" Naruto mimicked. Iruka shuddered.

"'Oh, you've grown into such a handsome boy, Naruto.'" Iruka teased back. "'Come here and let me see your face!'" The chuunin grabbed a sore cheek and pulled roughly. They tussled for a moment, until Iruka nearly swiped his bowl off of the counter.

"Come on, we'd better eat before it gets cold." Iruka said finally, letting go of Naruto's face and settling down to slurp up his ramen.

"Ramen gets cold?" Naruto asked incredulously. Iruka laughed.

By the end of the evening, Naruto's stack of empty ramen bowls towered up above his head. Iruka picked up the bill, of course. Naruto knew he would. Iruka-sensei was just nice like that.

As they were walking home together, Naruto got the sense that, even though they were both orphans, all these things Iruka-sensei shared with him, these code words, these funny stories, these playful teases and meals the boy couldn't afford, might just be a little like family.

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Sorry. This fic is partially inspired by my family, whom I blame for being crazy. The x-rays of the hip replacement, that really happened. My aunt whipped out the negatives of her hip during my sister's bridal shower. What can I say? Family: there's nothin' like 'em. Thank god.