Theme 18: Mistletoe

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Attending his third Christmas party in as many days, Kakashi finally decided on a course of action. Inspiration struck him as he was helping decorate (although 'helping' was a rather misleading word, as he had been forced by Gai to help set up for party for the Beloved Youth of the Hip and Modern Village of Konoha amidst much yelling and sun-setting and Nice Guy poses). And by struck, we do mean literally struck. As he was hauling his third pine tree into the Academy Auditorium, Kakashi's inspiration dislodged itself from the doorframe and landed in his hair.

Kakashi had pulled his inspiration out of his silver locks rather slowly, and lazily asked, "What's this?"

Gai immediately launched into a tear-filled explanation of Christmas tradition, complete with interpretive movement and haiku poetry. Somehow, let us attribute it to his genius status, he was able to simultaneously glean the information he needed while completely ignoring his rival. Yup, Kakashi's just talented like that.

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Tenten squealed when her class was led into the Auditorium for their Christmas party. She ignored the glittering smiles of that crazy man in green spandex who sometimes came to observe their taijutsu classes (he often burst into 'manly tears', which creeped Tenten out more than a little), and focused immediately on the aloof silver-haired man who was tacking up a sprig of green over the back door. Yes!

Tenten had never really thought much of Christmas before. She neither feared Santa like the kids in the class one year down nor worshiped him. She didn't count down the days til the holiday. There was only one Christmas tradition that the young weapon-user really cared about at all. Mistletoe. Even the word seemed magical.

The young girl had heard the other girls in her class whispering about it. Usually she disregarded what they said, because they were weak and whiny and cared about nothing but make-up and boys, but this conversation had caught her ear.

"If two people stand underneath the mistletoe together, they have to kiss."

Now, Tenten wasn't boy-crazy like the other girls in her class; she was a serious student, a soon-to-be kick-ass kunoichi with a deadly affiliation for all things sharp. It was just…there was a certain someone whom she…admired…for his skills as a ninja. It wasn't a crush or anything.

All she needed to do was figure out how to get Neji under the mistletoe with her…

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Iruka felt the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. Damn it. He turned around without warning, hoping to catch Kakashi staring at him, but the other man was innocently filling a plastic cup with punch for a young kunoichi. It was him that was watching Iruka, the chuunin was certain; he just couldn't catch him.

Why had Kakashi had to help set up for the party, of all the ninja in the village? Why had one of the other Academy teachers asked him to stay as an extra chaperone?

Why did Iruka care so much? He usually didn't let other people bother him this much. It was just…the thought of Kakashi's eyes on him make Iruka feel…uncomfortable. He didn't know why he was so hypersensitive to the Copy Nin's attention, and it was an unnerving experience.

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Tenten waited in the shadows until one of Neji's fangirls latched on to his arm and tried to drag him onto the dance floor with her. The Hyuuga genius threw off her grasp, predictably, and stomped off in the other direction. Tenten swooped in.

"Hey, Neji, I think I found a place you can hide from those girls, if you're interested." She told him, acting as if she didn't care either way. Inside, she was bursting with excitement, and fearful as well that someone else would discover the mistletoe and ruin her plan.

"Let's go." Neji said, gesturing for her to lead the way. Tenten and Neji weaved their way through the crowd and circled around the refreshment table. They chose a moment when no one was looking and dashed across the empty space at the back of the room and hid themselves behind a support column. The door with the mistletoe was only a few feet away.

"This is perfect. We'll stay here." Neji declared. Tenten gazed longingly at the mistletoe.

"We could get out of here." She suggested. Neji frowned. He didn't believe in breaking the rules-something about 'defying fate' and 'caged birds' that Tenten had never understood. "If we sneak out, we could get in an extra hour of training."

As soon as Tenten uttered the magic 'T' word, Neji was caught. He nodded to her, and she counted down from three so they could time their escape perfectly. They sprinted to the door, and Neji wrenched it open. Tenten snagged his sleeve and pulled him back inside.

"What are you doing? We'll get caught!" the genius hissed. Tenten pointed up.

"What?" He asked. Tenten looked up victoriously…

At the bare door frame. Where was the mistletoe? The young shinobi searched furiously. Finally, she lifted up her sandaled foot and found a crushed sprig smashed underneath. It must have fallen loose when Neji opened the door.

Tears welled up in her big brown eyes.

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Iruka had always possessed a special 'crying child' sixth sense. There was an upset kid somewhere in the Auditorium, and Iruka began to search for the little one.

It was, ironically enough, Kakashi's unwanted presence that led him to the child. As the sensei searched the room, he noticed that he wasn't feeling watched anymore, and looked around for the silver-haired nin. The man was standing slouched over near the back door, trying to calm an upset Tenten. It was almost amusing how out of his element the jounin looked. Iruka made his way across the room.

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Kakashi didn't know what the hell he was supposed to do with a teary eyed eight year old. The only experience he had was with a teary-eyed twenty-something rival, and the solution to that was to blatantly ignore.

The situation was easy enough to appraise. Ninja number one, the sniffling one with balls sticking out of either side of her head, had been leading ninja number two, aloof genius with stick stuck up his ass, to the mistletoe, which must have fallen again. With ninja one's hopes and dreams undeniably crushed and ninja two still hopelessly clueless, ninja one was preparing to turn on the waterworks.

The Copy Nin was sure the whole situation could be solved with a few passages of Icha Icha Paradise read aloud, to give ninja two some ideas about what ninja one wanted. He wouldn't pick one of the hardcore chapters, just a nice kiss or two. Well, that severely limited his choices…

Before he could select an appropriate passage, Iruka carried his nice ass over. Kakashi wisely decided to keep his book put away, and quickly concocted a second plan.

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Iruka pushed past the last throng of students to reach the child in need. He hoped fervently that Kakashi hadn't done anything stupid to those impressionable youths.

When he got there, the Copy Nin knelt down and picked up a crushed branch of mistletoe.

"Oh my, is that mistletoe?" He asked, mimicking surprise. His acting skills were none too great, but served to fool one distressed kunoichi and one emotionally stunted ninja. Both children nodded.

"Well, you two are standing over it together. You know what that means, right?" He asked. The children shook their heads.

"You don't?" He asked, aghast. They shook their heads again.

"When you stand under the mistletoe together, you're supposed to kiss." Tenten recited solemnly after a moment of silence.

"That's right! But when you stand over it together, two people are supposed to kiss twice." Kakashi whispered, as if he were revealing some grand secret.

"Are you sure?" Neji asked skeptically.

Kakashi's face crinkled in what must have been a frown. "I'm adult, kid. I know about these things." He deadpanned. Neji accepted that (it never even occurred to the poor kid to question authority), and blushed a little.

'Come on, Tenten." He ordered, grabbing her tiny hand. The girl beamed, all trace of ears gone from her eyes. He led her behind the column once again.

"Why are we over here?" Iruka heard Tenten ask.

"I'm not letting anybody see me kiss a girl." Neji replied, spitting out the last word.

Iruka chuckled to himself. He walked up beside Kakashi, who was twirling the sprig of mistletoe between his forefinger and thumb.

"They're so…gullible." The Copy Nin whispered to himself in disbelief.

'That was kind of sweet.' Iruka thought to himself. "Thanks for taking care of that." He told the other shinobi. "Once one of them starts crying, it's like a domino effect. You just averted a crisis." Iruka joked.

Kakashi flashed him one of his rare signature masked smiles (denoted by his single eye squeezing shut and his mask shifting slightly; hey, it wasn't much, but it made Iruka feel pretty special!). Iruka smiled back at him. Maybe he could forgive the man for staring at him when he wasn't looking…

Kakashi stepped forward and held out his hand toward Iruka. The chuunin thought the man must be handing him something, but was surprised when the Copy Nin opened his hand and flipped his palm downward. Something green drifted down to the floor. Before Iruka could look down and see what had been dropped, Kakashi was closing the distance between them.

"We can't break tradition, now, can we?" He asked. His gloved hands flew through the hand signs of a teleportation jutsu. Right before his body was moved by Kakashi's chakra, Iruka looked down. On the floor in the inch of space that separated them lay the trampled piece of mistletoe.

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Ah, I love Tenten. It's exciting, because she has the same birthday as me! Tenten kicks ass.

And it's kind of strange (for me, at least)- I can't slash Neji. He's just too pairable with Tenten and with Hinata. It's one of the few het pairings I ship.

And as for what happens after Kakashi transports Iruka, you'll just have to wait until the next exciting installment!